Has marriage & life been what you expected?

[zahrasalem 114]

Great topic We have been married 3 years this past January, today is his 2 year anniversary here, and married life has been better than I expected, I'm so thankful for that. We met in 2008 when I worked in Dubai and he worked in Qatar. We met when he traveled to Dubai for business.......we both knew pretty quickly that we were what the other always wished for in a lifetime mate.

We are both Muslim and that is very important to us.

We honeymooned in Egypt near his family and they are all very sweet and I love them. He still goes on skype every week to talk with everyone back home.

He already was used to living away from Egypt for several years working in the Gulf, so he adjusted to living in the US very easily. We live in a pretty large suburban area and he started driving and found his way around right away. He found his first job in his field only 9 weeks after he arrived and has worked ever since. He is still the same after all this time, no unpleasant suprises, so we are very fortunate.

He is very very affectionate with I love you's and helpful, around the house and with my 7 year old daughter......he helps her with homework and treats her like his own. My daughter's name is the same as his mother's name....we always laugh about that....that it was a good sign for us I even put in her baby book that if she was a boy, that I would have named her Ahmed (his name).

He's also very ambitious career-wise, does yardwork for my mom (my father passed away many years ago). He also helped my much older sister re-landscape her backyard and does yardwork for their older neighbors as well.

We are in the process of buying our first house together and planning a baby, so we are very excited about all of that. All in all, he's the best husband I could ever ask for and we feel we are a perfect match for each other. We look forward to growing very very old together

Edited March 7, 2012 by zahrasalem

[SaharaSunset 165]

So I have really enjoyed reading these forums! Its just nice to see other people in similar situations

Although I have been married less than a year, I have had some funny experiences and one just yesterday that made me laugh. My husband was born a nomad....lived in a tent until he was 10, his father was head of a camel caravan that transported spices etc. Well, for the most part, he is pretty "worldly" now. He went to school, studied biology, speaks 7 languages, has a successful tour business, and is very intelligent. But yesterday I cam home to the overwhelming smell of burnt plastic and found a large circular burn mark in the center of the dining room floor. My sweet nomad had been cooking with a tagine (a ceramic Moroccan crock pot basically) and it was so hot, he decided to open the door and set the tagine on the floor to let it cool. Which of course would had been perfectly fine in the sand or a desert tent, or even the cement or tile floors of Morocco...but not on lanoliem. When I explained to him the floor was essentially plastic he could hardly believe it! "Why would you make a plastic floor, it makes no sense, really they are a little crazy here in America!"

There are definitely some unexpected funny things, but I love being married to my nomad! (L)

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

That's a sweet and cute story SS and it's funny you mention what he said about how the homes are made here. One of the things dh comments on is he can't believe we pay so much money to live in wood and plastic homes. He wants to live in a real building made of concrete and brick. When we pass a building like this it is usually much older and he will spot it and say "there is one, that is a real building."

Edited March 7, 2012 by ॐ

[SaharaSunset 165]

That's a sweet and cute story SS and it's funny you mention what he said about how the homes are made here. One of the things dh comments on is he can't believe we pay so much money to live in wood and plastic homes. He wants to live in a real building made of concrete and brick. When we pass a building like this it is usually much older and he will spot it and say "there is one, that is a real building."

We pretty much had that exact conversation! Haha! My husband concluded our apartment was not "a real apartment" and we should move as soon as possible or we'll end up getting charged $10,000 for all the problems there will be if we stay!

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Glad to hear our relationship is a fairly "typical" marriage.

Like everyone here we've had ups and downs with marriage. Most difficulties have been because of my husband having trouble with finding steady work. He's had quite a few jobs in the couple years that he's been here. When he hasnt worked he's stayed with our boys (one we have together and the other is from my previous marriage). He loves and adores both of them and he calls both boys his sons. He helps around the house (cleaning, yardwork, laundry..whatever is needed) although he's not much of a cook but he can make a mean Egyptian salad or eggs sunny-side-up in a flash.

Thankfully we are both Arabs and Muslim so that had never been an issue.

I can't say he had culture shock since he had lived in California for almost five years before I even met him. I think the shock for him was more the economy and how bad it was when he got here. He couldn't believe how much this country had changed from 2005 to 2010. I guess I, too, was surprised that work didn't come that easy for him initially since we live in a fairly large city with many many Muslims and immigrants from all over.

We got pregnant fairly soon after him getting here. We weren't really trying but we weren't not trying either. We left it in God's hands.

I am so blessed that God brought this man in my life. He's my best friend even though still get on each others nerves every once in a while

Edited March 7, 2012 by 100% Al Ahly Fan

[Danni and Hamza 36]

I am really glad to hear all these happy stories, of normal families, living normal lives here on VJ. It really is too often that we see the doom and gloom side of how things can go in a failed VJ. I am wishing the best for everyone, and many long lovely years with their loved ones. I have been checking this thread a lot, cause it really brings a smile to my heart to see all of you happy in life. I don't post too often, but I do come to read a good bit (I work a LONG SLOW night shift...too much time on my hands)So it's nice to read and participate in a upbeat thread.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Im loving this thread as well! Its so nice to hear everyones marriage stories & how things are going years after our husbands have come over.

[Muh and me 18]

It is really nice to read all this. This is my second go at a MENA marriage. And this one is so different from the first one, I can't even tell ya. My husband was here before about 12 years ago, so his adjustment to our civilization was a breeze for him. Even tho at times he will question something, he pretty much gets it all. The worse part of our marriage is him not working and me losing my job a month ago. Things have been so tight for us without the help of his family I don't know where we would be. Alhumdulilah! And the waiting for his green card has been stressful. ITs been 4 months today since our interview and we are in AP. Inshallah, I hope we get his card soon and he finds a job. I love spending most of my time with him but sometimes 24 hours a day 7 days a week can get on anyone's nerves. Thank God I love him like i do!

[Élan 3]

It's great to read all these stories! I guess I should share mine. My husband and I have been living together for more than a year now (4 months in Malaysia, 8 months in USA). It's been difficult, but we are very happy with each other! I gave up my job when I went to Malaysia, so I had no employment when we arrived in Minnesota. We had to live with my parents... which I don't recommend. It's hard to be married when you both feel like kids with their parents. Luckily, things are getting much better. I have a full-time job and my husband has an internship with a well-respected organization here in Minnesota, but he's still quite upset that he hasn't even gotten one job interview despite his MBA and many years of relevant work experience in an English-speaking country. I'm afraid people see his very foreign name and feel very apprehensive.

Truthfully, we occasionally regret moving to the United States. Malaysia is a beautiful country and we were in a very good financial place there! We had plenty of money to go out every night, take trips and do lots of shopping. In the US, we can't afford anything and can't find any jobs in our fields! Despite that, we're planning to stay here and go to school--Amir wants his PhD and I want a J.D. Eventually (after he is a US citizen), we may relocate. Who knows, though... I keep telling him that his dream job is just around the corner! We keep applying and trying. Eventually something will go our way!

Our relationship is great now, though. If only our job situations would improve, things would be perfect!

The worst part for Amir (worse than being unemployed)? Going to an American dentist for the first time! He needed 1 root canal, 1 crown, 4 fillings, and 4 wisdom teeth extracted. Yowza! He had no culture shock, just dental shock.

[SaharaSunset 165]

The worst part for Amir (worse than being unemployed)? Going to an American dentist for the first time! He needed 1 root canal, 1 crown, 4 fillings, and 4 wisdom teeth extracted. Yowza! He had no culture shock, just dental shock.

Yikes!! My husband has never been to a dentist period....somehow I have a feeling the "dental-shock" will be brutal. I'll think we'll hold off on that visit for a little bit

[sandinista! 1,816]

Dental schools can be great if you need a lot of work done, at a fraction of the cost. My husband went there while we were waiting for insurance enrollment time to come around, and they did such great work he stuck with them after insurance kicked in too.

[zahrasalem 114]

My husband also got the works done at our dentist last year, a deep cleaning, and 5 widsom teeth removed, poor guy, i felt so bad! But after he healed, he's glad he had it done!

My dentists are a very nice Palestinian mother/daughter team, so he felt a little more comfortable with them..in Egypt he only went if he had a pain...

Edited March 8, 2012 by zahrasalem

[sandinista! 1,816]

Is that a thing? My husband's never felt more or less comfortable with anyone for anything due to their being Arab or not.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

My husband has a male Egyptian dentist here vs an American husband & wife team in Georgia and he still dont like going!

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Wael has a wonderful dentist here. He's American, but spent some time in North Africa and speaks

a little arabic!