She's Gone? Really? Already?

[james&olya 1,121]

By the way, I am new here. What do OP, SO, and RUB stand for?

OP - Original poster (of a thread)

SO - Significant other?

RUB - Russia, Ukraine, Belarus

[slim 1,514]

Good news is she agreed to speak on Monday. Maybe I can get some closure. I have some things to say to her, but they aren't all nice.

Save the bad stuff. Just tell her you've missed her and you still want to go through with it. Let her know you're going to support her despite what her friends and family say.

Bad news is I am pretty sure what her decision is. She has a page on Russian Classmates. I don't know if you have seen it. It is like facebook in Russian. It used to have pictures of us and say that we were married. Now she took all the pictures down, changed to a whole new page, and took me off as a friend!

Don't worry about that. My wife has a page on odnaklassniki and I'm not on there anywhere. Same with facebook and moi mir, etc. Sometimes we just don't fit in to their "Russian life" and especially during the visa process, they can catch a lot of grief for "selling out" their homeland and all their friends and family to go marry some foreigner.

Just keep up with your side of the story. "I still love you. I still want to marry you. I will take care of you and your son." Try to avoid talking about her friends and family and just hit the basics. Wash, rinse, repeat. Don't argue, don't fight, just let her know you're still going along with the plan. Let her think it over for a few days and then repeat.

Good luck!

[mox 298]

Agreed with Slim. If there's bridges to be burned, let her do it. Could be that she's looking for a reason to stay with you, so give her all the encouragement she needs. If she still says nyet, at least you tried.

[baron555 934]

Agreed with Slim. If there's bridges to be burned, let her do it. Could be that she's looking for a reason to stay with you, so give her all the encouragement she needs. If she still says nyet, at least you tried.

Yes, she did once agree to marry you......so your relationship should have been somewhat more than just Facebook pictures, right?

Don't blow it; if you think she was perfect for you, she may still be.......you may have to fight for her, in spite of her, but for her own good.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I still vote for a trip to Ukraine. Purchase a ticket to Kyiv or Odessa somewhere between May 1t and Sept. 30th, throw on some flip flops, shorts, tank top, and shades and then mosey on down to the nearest sidewalk cafe and check out the chicks while sipping a Tuborg. Go through as many hot chicks as you can handle until you think you have found "Mrs. Right".

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Bad news is I am pretty sure what her decision is. She has a page on Russian Classmates. I don't know if you have seen it. It is like facebook in Russian. It used to have pictures of us and say that we were married. Now she took all the pictures down, changed to a whole new page, and took me off as a friend!

By the way, I am new here. What do OP, SO, and RUB stand for?

DO NOT do this ever and do not allow ANYONE else torepresent you as married at any time prior to actuallybeing married. Consulates DO check social networking sites and if they see something saying you are "married" your K-1 is DONE and you will be lucky not to get a ban for visa fraud. It happens ALL THE TIME. Check the K-1 forum on any day and there will be one or two of these threads running where someone got denied for representing themselves as "married" on Facebook or some other social page.

The other HUGE no-no is NEVER represent an immigrant as a citizen to anyone for any reason until they actually are a citizen. Doind so can get their greencard revoked and get them deported.

As for the rest, good luck. I think you are in the past for her. No need for bad words, she was at least honest. It just did not work, better to know now. There are SO MANY other fine Ukrainian women, you will find one and many of them love children and especially love a man that loves children.

I dated (for lack of better term) a woman most of the time I was in Ukraine, I met her the day I arrived, she lived in my building. Really nice, attractive woman, 3 years younger than me, looked 15 years younger. Super person, we were really good friends, but it was just not going to work marriage wise. Alla more or less put an end to that friendship (she is not into sharing me with other women) but it was never a romantic (sexual) relationship, just someone to walk and talk with, go to museums and theatre, out to dinner sometimes. She was not a bad woman, did not ask for anything. She knew I was dating other women. We were just friends.

If it is to end, just let it go and wish her luck.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I still vote for a trip to Ukraine. Purchase a ticket to Kyiv or Odessa somewhere between May 1t and Sept. 30th, throw on some flip flops, shorts, tank top, and shades and then mosey on down to the nearest sidewalk cafe and check out the chicks while sipping a Tuborg. Go through as many hot chicks as you can handle until you think you have found "Mrs. Right".

This is a great way to get laid, near 100% success rate! Maybe not the best way to meet Mrs.Right. Maybe so. I met a lot of women this way (my preferred method) and it usually took less time to score a date than to get a Coca Cola Lite delivered to my table. But I never found a real keeper this way, but maybe I would have. It was fun anyway. The problem I found is that a lot of the women were all for having fun, eating, drinking, dancing, going back to the the flat and banging their brains out until the sun came up, but when the sun came up they were not interested in marriage or relationships, at least not long term. Oh well. I resisted the efforts of my lanbdlord to hook me up with women from his marriage service, probably a bad idea, I maybe should have taken him up on it. At least those women are looking to get married.

An idea I thought was good would be to arrange your own vacation there (Kiev and Odessa are my fovorites) then after all that is arranged, contact a few marriage agencies with your information and photos and tell them you want to meet some of their women. They will arrange a meeting for you at the office or some other place. These are marriage minded women and you can get your photo taken with all of them for future use. Then you can pursue further meetings there or correspondence. If you decide on one you already have a picture together and a "visit" and YES that counts! This is what the agencies do with their "socials" but they charge a lot of money for that. This would be a "do it yourself" social.

In case you think that only women pull scams or are not sincere, I had it suggested to me to wait around the airport. There was always a huge bevy (what constitutes a "bevy"?) of extremely hot women there and it never failed that one or three or six got stood up by their "fiances" and they were heartbroken and dejected and in need of a ...man. I never tried that either though I did meet Alla in an airport. Hmmm. I saw them the first day I arrived, nearly had a stroke at the sight of them but my driver warned me off them, called them "green card groupies" and said "No problem, there are 800,000 more here anyway" I could just say "but, but but...uh... " Other guys told me it was a gold mine, but maybe not for wives, who knows what they wanted.

Kip says he liked the clubs but I never got into that scene, I went to clubs but usually with girls I met elsewhere. They love the clubs though, Alla loves to dance, it is her "excerise" and I like her excerise clothes.

[slim 1,514]

check out the chicks while sipping a Tuborg.

Tuborg is pretty good beer.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Tuborg is pretty good beer.

Heineken and Tuborg is the only beer in Belarus that I'l drink. Every beer there other than those two taste like horse p*ss.

[slim 1,514]

Heineken and Tuborg is the only beer in Belarus that I'l drink. Every beer there other than those two taste like horse p*ss.

I generally like just about all types of beer but if I get to choose, I'll drink something a little darker.

In Russia, I really liked Bochka and Baltika 4. I'll drink a 6 for breakfast. Good stuff! 10 is good party beer and something like Sibeersky Corona isn't too.

Ah.... I need a beer!

[donnie7263 0]

Let's say I plan a trip in the next couple of months. What are a couple reputable agencies with girls who have real intentions to marry? You know, between all the other girls! LOL. I'll also try and squeeze in Natalia for a quickie! Actually, those who have been to Kiev.... tell me lots of details. Where to stay, where to go, where to meet girls, etc. Thanks for everything guys!

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Let's say I plan a trip in the next couple of months. What are a couple reputable agencies with girls who have real intentions to marry? You know, between all the other girls! LOL. I'll also try and squeeze in Natalia for a quickie! Actually, those who have been to Kiev.... tell me lots of details. Where to stay, where to go, where to meet girls, etc. Thanks for everything guys!

http://mail-order-brides-websites.no1reviews.com/ <---- Alena's Models and Russian Cupid/Euro seem to be popular on here.

Check this out though. Ukraine doesn't require a visa...unlike Russia and Belarus. You get a 90 day visitor visa in Ukraine once you get off the plane. With Russia and Belarus you have to set all that ####### up ahead of time and it can be a pain in the #######.

Odessa Ukraine, Kyiv, etc... are gold mines.

Edited March 4, 2012 by Why_Me

[donnie7263 0]

I'm not really looking to search online anymore. Been there, done that. Twice. I have been to Ukraine twice and I like it. Just jump on a plane and go. I am more looking for an agency that will interview girls, show them my bio, and introduce me to a few. By the way, anyone up for wingman? LOL!

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I'm not really looking to search online anymore. Been there, done that. Twice. I have been to Ukraine twice and I like it. Just jump on a plane and go. I am more looking for an agency that will interview girls, show them my bio, and introduce me to a few. By the way, anyone up for wingman? LOL!

I'd take ya up on that offer in a heart beat if I wasn't already married.

http://www.wetv.com/shows/secret-lives-of-women/episodes/season-4/mail-order-brides <---- that show right there...it's probably on youtube also. I think it's Alena's Models on that show..they introduce you to loads of women over there with "get togethers" where you get to meet hundreds of them in one shot.

[baron555 934]

I'm not really looking to search online anymore. Been there, done that. Twice. I have been to Ukraine twice and I like it. Just jump on a plane and go. I am more looking for an agency that will interview girls, show them my bio, and introduce me to a few. By the way, anyone up for wingman? LOL!

Kiev Connections fits this bill. They are legitimate and my wife and I met the owners, who are nice...however....from what I have read about, most of the ladies are just pro-daters. I have not read of many success stories...maybe I just didn't read enough.

Of the three or four double handfuls of couples that we know or know about, that used online services, more than 90% met through Elenas Models.

If you think that you can stop doing work to find a wife, that you can just be there and voila it will happen, you have a lot of growing up to do. You will have fun there; find a wife? My bet is not.

How old are you? How fat or bald are you? What is your job and where do you live? What age difference will you allow?