Think Really Hard Before Marrying Someone from MENA

[sussemadel 16]

Kat (Beauty for Ashes), it sounds like you're still married to this guy. Hopefully you can find a way to divorce him and get him out of you and your kids' life for good. Going back and forth with this guy for over 3 yrs now with all the stories of physical and mental abuse is almost like at this point just looking like you're a glutton for punishment. Not saying that to be mean, just hope you can get out if not for yourself since maybe you might enjoy the drama, but for your kids! Take Care

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

sigh..

Edited February 27, 2012 by Beauty for Ashes

[msheesha 548]

I can't find the "like"/+ button on my phone to "like" this post. But if I could find it, I'd like it.

Also someone wrote something about a link to statistics on mena/American marriages but I don't see a link. Anyone know where it is?

Kat (Beauty for Ashes), it sounds like you're still married to this guy. Hopefully you can find a way to divorce him and get him out of you and your kids' life for good. Going back and forth with this guy for over 3 yrs now with all the stories of physical and mental abuse is almost like at this point just looking like you're a glutton for punishment. Not saying that to be mean, just hope you can get out if not for yourself since maybe you might enjoy the drama, but for your kids! Take Care

[Boiler 45,564]

There was a very long thread some time back, about I think Morocco, the lady I think there said it was about 75% from her research.

[tany1157 161]

I feel so sad for you Thank you for sharing your story. Although, I don't think this is just a "be weary of marrying from MENA" warning, it's a warning to ANYONE planning to marry. It is a risk, and plenty of American/American marriages end similarly. Good luck to you

[Staashi 371]

Actually, let me say, it is a MENA warning - when I look at my friends who are married to MENA dudes, the only ones that seemed to have worked out are the ones where the couples are similar in age and are able to bear children. I only know of one couple on here that had an age difference but are still together. I remember Debbie and her posts, I thought she and her husband would make it - and here we are, another scammer.

And yes, Americans get divorced all the time, however, some poor chick doesn't have to spend thousands of dollars on the front end to bring her dude over here.

Please know, I'm not against immigration and foreign relationships. I have many friends with great relationships with their MENA dudes, but they are in an exclusive group. So yes, when it comes to those red flags take them seriously. Not every guy is an azzhole, but ask yourself this question: if you don't have men beating down your doors in the US, what makes you think they're going to beat down your doors from afar without something to benefit them?

[tany1157 161]

Actually, let me say, it is a MENA warning - when I look at my friends who are married to MENA dudes, the only ones that seemed to have worked out are the ones where the couples are similar in age and are able to bear children. I only know of one couple on here that had an age difference but are still together. I remember Debbie and her posts, I thought she and her husband would make it - and here we are, another scammer.

And yes, Americans get divorced all the time, however, some poor chick doesn't have to spend thousands of dollars on the front end to bring her dude over here.

Please know, I'm not against immigration and foreign relationships. I have many friends with great relationships with their MENA dudes, but they are in an exclusive group. So yes, when it comes to those red flags take them seriously. Not every guy is an azzhole, but ask yourself this question: if you don't have men beating down your doors in the US, what makes you think they're going to beat down your doors from afar without something to benefit them?

HAHAHA ain't that the truth! My point was that American men may not need a GC, but they are the ones who use their woman for money, or anything else they need. Users are everywhere, I just don't think it only pertains to MENA men.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Actually, let me say, it is a MENA warning - when I look at my friends who are married to MENA dudes, the only ones that seemed to have worked out are the ones where the couples are similar in age and are able to bear children. I only know of one couple on here that had an age difference but are still together. I remember Debbie and her posts, I thought she and her husband would make it - and here we are, another scammer.

And yes, Americans get divorced all the time, however, some poor chick doesn't have to spend thousands of dollars on the front end to bring her dude over here.

Please know, I'm not against immigration and foreign relationships. I have many friends with great relationships with their MENA dudes, but they are in an exclusive group. So yes, when it comes to those red flags take them seriously. Not every guy is an azzhole, but ask yourself this question: if you don't have men beating down your doors in the US, what makes you think they're going to beat down your doors from afar without something to benefit them?

I concur. I will also say that I really loved and still to this day, love my husband.

That was a mouth full of nails huh.

Secondly, I want to add that my daughter is Moroccan, her father is a Moroccan who I was madly in love with 8 years ago who DID NOT NEED A GREEN CARD but when it came down to my pregnancy, which was during a very what I felt was a committed and loving relationship between two people crazy about each other, he was legally here and we were living together, he wasnt having it. He told me that his last girlfriend was pregnant and he strung her along until she was 5 months and then made her abort. She was Moroccan and in their culture, having a baby and not being married is the end all or be all. Now, 7 years after her birth, he sends child support, sends her clothes and does call about her ( he lives thousands of miles away) but I still have only met one of his nieces and she is his only child ( he never married nor has had other kids) Can you imagine the pile of regret he is going to have at lets say 50? He told me, if I wanted to have a kid , I want one with a Moroccan, not an American. I for whatever reason back in 2004 felt like I hung the moon. Apparently I did not.

Moving right along. I do love my husband. No we are not divorced. Most likely at some point we will get divorce and no I have absolutely no advice for ANYONE wanting to marry from overseas other than to say this. If you can stand putting 4 plus more years into a relationship that most likely wont make it and you are just ga ga ga about him and cant see anything else more that you will be doing , go ahead. Actually, as dysfunctional as my marriage has bee, most cant see how we are even still talking. But the dynamics are different and I have a child who is north african so I am not all tied up in the whole I hate everything north african vibe either. I know who I am and who I am not. I know I really dont fit into their culture and I could have kids and after years now I cannot and I also just do not mesh with alot of what they want or like or etc. I love my little girl and she definitely doesnt look like anyone else in my family. She is a sparkling dark eyed very fair Moroccan Irish girl and I just love and adore her and she hangs the moon in my eyes and many Moroccans who meet her are astonished at how Moroccan she looks, her rounded berber eyes, her shiny black hair with auburn streaks and some day, maybe some day as I get older and so does she, I can find it in my heart to forgive her dad who was a total #### to me pregnant and forgive the guy I brought over here in whatever romantic stupor I was in and find some peace and remember some amazing times.. and find some solace in the word that north africans call maktoob.

The maktoob of losing something so precious

the maktoob of my little girls childhood and existance

and the maktoob of finding comfort in other peoples happiness.

All I can say is ....sigh...

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I concur. I will also say that I really loved and still to this day, love my husband.

That was a mouth full of nails huh.

Secondly, I want to add that my daughter is Moroccan, her father is a Moroccan who I was madly in love with 8 years ago who DID NOT NEED A GREEN CARD but when it came down to my pregnancy, which was during a very what I felt was a committed and loving relationship between two people crazy about each other, he was legally here and we were living together, he wasnt having it. He told me that his last girlfriend was pregnant and he strung her along until she was 5 months and then made her abort. She was Moroccan and in their culture, having a baby and not being married is the end all or be all. Now, 7 years after her birth, he sends child support, sends her clothes and does call about her ( he lives thousands of miles away) but I still have only met one of his nieces and she is his only child ( he never married nor has had other kids) Can you imagine the pile of regret he is going to have at lets say 50? He told me, if I wanted to have a kid , I want one with a Moroccan, not an American. I for whatever reason back in 2004 felt like I hung the moon. Apparently I did not.

Moving right along. I do love my husband. No we are not divorced. Most likely at some point we will get divorce and no I have absolutely no advice for ANYONE wanting to marry from overseas other than to say this. If you can stand putting 4 plus more years into a relationship that most likely wont make it and you are just ga ga ga about him and cant see anything else more that you will be doing , go ahead. Actually, as dysfunctional as my marriage has bee, most cant see how we are even still talking. But the dynamics are different and I have a child who is north african so I am not all tied up in the whole I hate everything north african vibe either. I know who I am and who I am not. I know I really dont fit into their culture and I could have kids and after years now I cannot and I also just do not mesh with alot of what they want or like or etc. I love my little girl and she definitely doesnt look like anyone else in my family. She is a sparkling dark eyed very fair Moroccan Irish girl and I just love and adore her and she hangs the moon in my eyes and many Moroccans who meet her are astonished at how Moroccan she looks, her rounded berber eyes, her shiny black hair with auburn streaks and some day, maybe some day as I get older and so does she, I can find it in my heart to forgive her dad who was a total #### to me pregnant and forgive the guy I brought over here in whatever romantic stupor I was in and find some peace and remember some amazing times.. and find some solace in the word that north africans call maktoob.

The maktoob of losing something so precious

the maktoob of my little girls childhood and existance

and the maktoob of finding comfort in other peoples happiness.

All I can say is ....sigh...

I have been sighing alot lately. You will have to forgive me. I used to be full of grief, then it was anger, then it was depression, then it was acceptance. And now I just sigh.

and

after everything he put me through

after losing my mind, my life and my money,

I still love him.

There is some valor I think in that.. perhaps.. perhaps not.

I think most cases of foolish hopeless love need a warning label.. if its love that is

My case was that hes insane and I wasnt much better and I loved him and I have no idea to this day whether he ever loved me.. I like to tell my mother I loved him enough for the both of us and it really doesnt matter

again

sigh

[momof1 205]

It is a warning against MENA men so lets not try to sugarcoat it. I know tons of wildly successful MENA/American marriages. They are similar in age or the man is older, have children together, and share a religion. The shortest has been married for over 5 years and the longest close to 14. These are personal friends of ours but we know, through the grapevine, of those married much much longer. It's not all gloom and doom but you have to be honest and take a good look at yourself and your partner.

I wholeheartedly agree with Staashi

Edited February 27, 2012 by momof1

[tany1157 161]

Well then I apologize. I guess it wasn't my place to comment

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

It is a warning against MENA men so lets not try to sugarcoat it. I know tons of wildly successful MENA/American marriages. They are similar in age or the man is older, have children together, and share a religion. The shortest has been married for over 5 years and the longest close to 14. These are personal friends of ours but we know, through the grapevine, of those married much much longer. It's not all gloom and doom but you have to be honest and take a good look at yourself and your partner.

I wholeheartedly agree with Staashi

How important is shared religion? Do you think it matters if they are berber or not? I have an american friend who is totally christian and married to a berber and they have a child and he doesnt seem to care WHAT religion she is. Then I have met women who converted, did the whole total lifestyle change and it was dumperoo when he decided he wanted a girl from back home and now the muslim converts on the road on her butt and hes with a girl who doesnt even wear hijab from back home.

I just think that you cannot sugar coat it but you also cannot guess who is going to work and who isnt. Two of my closest friends are both now ex wives of north africans, one had 3 kids and one had two. One was a tunisian who loved her apparently but financially abused her ( sent all his money home and had 3 kids with her) and the other is the ex wife of a moroccan and 2 kids with him. So the kids thing is not a guarantee.. ( apparently both had several so that theory goes wildly out the window) I will say that very few of the huge age difference marriages last very long but I often wonder what a role religion has in most of this.

Can you just love someone and really know that your lives cannot mesh and that love is not enough? Or are their class divisions that show success? I just know several marriages where there were no real age differences but as soon as the guy could, he was running back home to find a wife.. no apparent victim picked out.. just someone from back home\\\\

sigh...again sigh sigh sign..

I guess you know tons of marriages because you are in a community where there tons of mixed marriages but everyone I know personally in a mixed marriage is now divorced ( but thats 9 years and counting) Most men I know who got their greecard from an american are no longer with their wives and every single one of them tells everyone else that she was A. An alcoholic.. ( oh thats my favorite) maybe he drove her to drink

B. Lazy

C. Ran away from him

( I live near Disney so every year we get about 100 people on a work visa thats only good for a year so people have been adjusting status around Epcot since 1982 so there were and have been alot of HE MARRIED ME FOR PAPERS stories for at least 29 years.. HOWLLLLLLLLLLL)

It is a warning against MENA men so lets not try to sugarcoat it. I know tons of wildly successful MENA/American marriages. They are similar in age or the man is older, have children together, and share a religion. The shortest has been married for over 5 years and the longest close to 14. These are personal friends of ours but we know, through the grapevine, of those married much much longer. It's not all gloom and doom but you have to be honest and take a good look at yourself and your partner.

I wholeheartedly agree with Staashi

How important is shared religion? Do you think it matters if they are berber or not? I have an american friend who is totally christian and married to a berber and they have a child and he doesnt seem to care WHAT religion she is. Then I have met women who converted, did the whole total lifestyle change and it was dumperoo when he decided he wanted a girl from back home and now the muslim converts on the road on her butt and hes with a girl who doesnt even wear hijab from back home.

I just think that you cannot sugar coat it but you also cannot guess who is going to work and who isnt. Two of my closest friends are both now ex wives of north africans, one had 3 kids and one had two. One was a tunisian who loved her apparently but financially abused her ( sent all his money home and had 3 kids with her) and the other is the ex wife of a moroccan and 2 kids with him. So the kids thing is not a guarantee.. ( apparently both had several so that theory goes wildly out the window) I will say that very few of the huge age difference marriages last very long but I often wonder what a role religion has in most of this.

Can you just love someone and really know that your lives cannot mesh and that love is not enough? Or are their class divisions that show success? I just know several marriages where there were no real age differences but as soon as the guy could, he was running back home to find a wife.. no apparent victim picked out.. just someone from back home\\\\

sigh...again sigh sigh sign..

I guess you know tons of marriages because you are in a community where there tons of mixed marriages but everyone I know personally in a mixed marriage is now divorced ( but thats 9 years and counting) Most men I know who got their greecard from an american are no longer with their wives and every single one of them tells everyone else that she was A. An alcoholic.. ( oh thats my favorite) maybe he drove her to drink

B. Lazy

C. Ran away from him

( I live near Disney so every year we get about 100 people on a work visa thats only good for a year so people have been adjusting status around Epcot since 1982 so there were and have been alot of HE MARRIED ME FOR PAPERS stories for at least 29 years.. HOWLLLLLLLLLLL)

Secondly. mom of one did you go overseas and meet your husband and bring him here or marry him and then bring him back ( not that it matters... just curious)

Edited February 27, 2012 by Beauty for Ashes

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

HAHAHA ain't that the truth! My point was that American men may not need a GC, but they are the ones who use their woman for money, or anything else they need. Users are everywhere, I just don't think it only pertains to MENA men.

[/quote

Not to defend the mena scammers but I watch a lovely show called

WHO THE BLEEP DID I MARRY . Its on the ID network

Its a lovely show

Although I think they should do a mena edition. LOL

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Well then I apologize. I guess it wasn't my place to comment

comment away... no one will stop you.

I just even though I went through hell could never blanketly warn women against marrying men from mena.

I do think if hes super hot and like 15 years younger, you could be in for it when he meets the 20 year old with a thong names Juanita whos always had a thing for sexy dark haired men

HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL

Just kidding...

I love my husband. I love my husband. I love my husband. Hes a rat and a jerk. But I love my husband ( its a song)

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Actually, let me say, it is a MENA warning - when I look at my friends who are married to MENA dudes, the only ones that seemed to have worked out are the ones where the couples are similar in age and are able to bear children. I only know of one couple on here that had an age difference but are still together. I remember Debbie and her posts, I thought she and her husband would make it - and here we are, another scammer.

And yes, Americans get divorced all the time, however, some poor chick doesn't have to spend thousands of dollars on the front end to bring her dude over here.

Please know, I'm not against immigration and foreign relationships. I have many friends with great relationships with their MENA dudes, but they are in an exclusive group. So yes, when it comes to those red flags take them seriously. Not every guy is an azzhole, but ask yourself this question: if you don't have men beating down your doors in the US, what makes you think they're going to beat down your doors from afar without something to benefit them?

Hey Staashi. Did you ever see the show WHO THE BLEEP DID I MARRY? Dont you think after reading these boards for the last several years that we could have several episodes from around here?

Everything from I caught him on my couch with a 20 year old to he was sleeping with my sister to he hit on my cousin.

Sounds like a series

WHO THE BLEEP DID I MARRY