He's Gone ;(

[Samantha78 117]

Thanks hun........I'm asking God to give me the strength I need right now. Like, you guys watched my journey......you know I love him and how hard I tried.....how could he do this????? Its so unfair and inhumane. I waited all my life to get married...I thought he was the one....and look at what a friggin fool I look like in the end. I have no idea what to tell my judgemental coworkers tomorrow....or friends that were expecting the failure. What a completely humiliating thing to happen to me, and anyone.

[NoneYa 73]

;(((( thank u. I appreciate that. I'm trying to figure out how I can get to sleep tonight knowing I'll never wake up to him again.

He couldn't care less about you.

Edited February 26, 2012 by NoneYa

[Scafidi454 22]

He was hesitant and rebellious. He woudl tell me that he was reluctant to give up his life in his country because he has everything there and nothing here. And no matter how much I tried to reassure him, he was not convinced. He first started to talk to me horribly and go out all the time. Then, in October, before the interview in November he completely changed. He was home all the time and making arrangents to sell his car and finalze things there so he could come here. I thought everything was getting better and it was nerves or normal doubt. Occassionally he would have these mood swings of happiness to anger and I was worried....but people told me I was over reacting so I blew it off. In the back of my mind I knew something wasn't right though...but not enough to think he'd do this. The big thing that struck me as odd was that we had waited almost 3 months for his visa to be issued and delivered and I he told me that as soon as it arrived he'd leave immediately because he was dying to see me. Then it arrived, and weeks passed....with very poor excuses as to why he wasnt coming. I was in the dark...no idea what to think. It was a confusing time. There were many signs, looking back, but I didn't see them because I wanted him here, I loved him, I love him.....so I played blind. And now I'm paying for it.

Well, my fiancee and I have had a couple of rough patches, but not so bad that we talked to each other horribly or threatened not to go through with everything. We've both talked about the pros and cons of the marriage and her coming here versus me coming there. I've even tried to spook her about how bad it can be here, because I don't want to expect a perfect life when she get's here and I wouldn't want to dupe anyone into thinking that, especially if they're giving up everything in their homeland to come to me.

However, every time I ask her if she's sure, or tell her that I'd understand if she changed her mind, she gets very angry and tells me that she already made up her mind and she still feels the same way and if I ask her again she will not come. I told her not to threaten me that way, because I am only make sure because I know that she's giving up a lot and it's going to be scary. She understands why I have asked, but I don't do it anymore. She and I are pretty honest with each other (I'm sometimes too honest). So, I really believe that if she were to change her mind she'd tell me before letting me go through all of this.

Ultimately, I'm going to purchase a round trip ticket once she's approved (for return at the 90 day k1 expiry date). First, it's about 2k less expensive, and it will give her the option to change her mind after spending a few months here. We first met here in the US, and she lived with me for about 3 months. So, she won't be completely oblivious to life here, but that was in 2010. We've been apart since October 2010, and it's going to take a while to learn each other again, but I believe we'll do it.

In your case, I believe that you are correct to say you were blinded by love. It's not your fault, and it's not necessarily his fault. He was a POS for doing what he did, but maybe he had better intentions. I mean, if you both had good intentions and it just can't work out, then it's not really anyone's fault. That won't get your money back or keep you from feeling ashamed, betrayed, and lonely, but it can help you to forgive later on. I can forsee that you'll hold a grudge against DR men in the future, and probably towards any foreign fiance(e) or spouse in the future. However, I ask that you not let it control you. Not everyone is like him, and you can find better.

I wasn't ever looking for a relationship, "Russian wife", or any other foreign wife; it just found me. I suggest you live your life and let your love life come to you.

Edited February 26, 2012 by Scafidi454

[V & A 0]

Dear Sam I'm very sorry if I seemed a little harsh on you the other day but like you say sometimes people from the outside see things much clearer than us and every word you wrote made me absolutely certain about this mock of a man and I just got so angry . Love as they say makes us blind sometimes but we women are so strong that I know you will get through this and come out wiser. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you don't have to see his face ever again. God Bless you! and there is no need to say how beautiful you are.

[ThisTooShallPass 1]

i am so sorry hun. No one deserves that and is he crazy..you are absolutely gorgeous. this makes me really upset because the emotional toil and probably spent to get him there was probably a lot. I really hope you find love and definitely report him! You cant treat people anyhow and get away with. so sorry. it might not help but i thinks its better you found out now than later

[Miss M 54]

Thanks hun........I'm asking God to give me the strength I need right now. Like, you guys watched my journey......you know I love him and how hard I tried.....how could he do this????? Its so unfair and inhumane. I waited all my life to get married...I thought he was the one....and look at what a friggin fool I look like in the end. I have no idea what to tell my judgemental coworkers tomorrow....or friends that were expecting the failure. What a completely humiliating thing to happen to me, and anyone.

Don't worry about what anyone thinks. It's humiliating yes, but who hasn't made a mistake before? It's very easy to judge and mock, but if anything, you should be proud of yourself for having put yourself out there and taken the risk. Take pride in your courage because YOU haven't done anything shameful. Keep your head up up and keep telling yourself, 'this too shall pass.'

[Samantha78 117]

Well, my fiancee and I have had a couple of rough patches, but not so bad that we talked to each other horribly or threatened not to go through with everything. We've both talked about the pros and cons of the marriage and her coming here versus me coming there. I've even tried to spook her about how bad it can be here, because I don't want to expect a perfect life when she get's here and I wouldn't want to dupe anyone into thinking that, especially if they're giving up everything in their homeland to come to me.

However, every time I ask her if she's sure, or tell her that I'd understand if she changed her mind, she gets very angry and tells me that she already made up her mind and she still feels the same way and if I ask her again she will not come. I told her not to threaten me that way, because I am only make sure because I know that she's giving up a lot and it's going to be scary. She understands why I have asked, but I don't do it anymore. She and I are pretty honest with each other (I'm sometimes too honest). So, I really believe that if she were to change her mind she'd tell me before letting me go through all of this.

Ultimately, I'm going to purchase a round trip ticket once she's approved (for return at the 90 day k1 expiry date). First, it's about 2k less expensive, and it will give her the option to change her mind after spending a few months here. We first met here in the US, and she lived with me for about 3 months. So, she won't be completely oblivious to life here, but that was in 2010. We've been apart since October 2010, and it's going to take a while to learn each other again, but I believe we'll do it.

In your case, I believe that you are correct to say you were blinded by love. It's not your fault, and it's not necessarily his fault. He was a POS for doing what he did, but maybe he had better intentions. I mean, if you both had good intentions and it just can't work out, then it's not really anyone's fault. That won't get your money back or keep you from feeling ashamed, betrayed, and lonely, but it can help you to forgive later on. I can forsee that you'll hold a grudge against DR men in the future, and probably towards any foreign fiance(e) or spouse in the future. However, I ask that you not let it control you. Not everyone is like him, and you can find better.

I wasn't ever looking for a relationship, "Russian wife", or any other foreign wife; it just found me. I suggest you live your life and let your love life come to you.

The same exact way she responds to your questions about not wanting to come or changin her mind is how he responded to me. He said he was coming because he loved me and needed to see me. I also stopped asking because he began to think it was because I had doubts.

I may hold a grudge...I cant say I wont.....but I know the person who did this was him, and it would be ignorant to blame others for his mistakes and hurt he caused me

[NoneYa 73]

Don't worry about what anyone thinks. It's humiliating yes, but who hasn't made a mistake before? It's very easy to judge and mock, but if anything, you should be proud of yourself for having put yourself out there and taken the risk. Take pride in your courage because YOU haven't done anything shameful. Keep your head up up and keep telling yourself, 'this too shall pass.'

A lot of people make the mistake. I have too. I was taken for a ride once worse but when the light was shed upon them, I moved out and got distance from them and cut them off. The problem with the OP is she still cares for him. That is dysfunctional and dangerous.

Fool me once, shame on you ! Fool me twice, shame on me !

[Samantha78 117]

Dear Sam I'm very sorry if I seemed a little harsh on you the other day but like you say sometimes people from the outside see things much clearer than us and every word you wrote made me absolutely certain about this mock of a man and I just got so angry . Love as they say makes us blind sometimes but we women are so strong that I know you will get through this and come out wiser. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you don't have to see his face ever again. God Bless you! and there is no need to say how beautiful you are.

Thanks....and I actually thought about your responses to my last post when his friend was humiliating me, telling me that NO DOMINICAN MAN WOULD EVER WANT TO BE WITH AN UGLY GRINGA LIKE ME. I said, wow......I have a DR man I dont know at all telling me something my husband obviously had told him, and he is speaking for the whole group of DR men. Maybe they aren't all the same but some of them, this guy, sure do a hell of a job making me think otherwise.

I wont judge them all. I know that the US had a ton of pieces of ####### too....it is what is it. I was just the unlucky one to get the @sshole and have to watch my love and hard work drown.

[Ryan H 3,812]

I'm sorry this has happened to you and I wish you the best for the future.

[OneLove <3 6]

Thanks hun........I'm asking God to give me the strength I need right now. Like, you guys watched my journey......you know I love him and how hard I tried.....how could he do this????? Its so unfair and inhumane. I waited all my life to get married...I thought he was the one....and look at what a friggin fool I look like in the end. I have no idea what to tell my judgemental coworkers tomorrow....or friends that were expecting the failure. What a completely humiliating thing to happen to me, and anyone.

You are a very strong woman and I know God is with you and will give you all the strength you need to overcome this and follow through with your plan. No one deserves to go through this....

What I could tell you is that you can't blame yourself for this, you did the best you could and regardless of what you did he already had this all planned out. Don't be so hard on yourself we all make mistakes that is what makes us human. You don't have to tell your co workers or friends take your time. You do not need to hear no one's BS right now. If you can take a few days off to get it together and focus your time and effort into doing what you need to do alert all the agencies USCIS, ICE, NVC, whatever it takes but get this done. Get in contact with a lawyer and file for a divorce and like many have said a restraining order. Also if he texts, or calls or emails you record them but don't insult and say anything that can be used against you.

Remember although it doesn't look like it now better that it happened now and not later. Better to see his true colors now before its too late. I also agree like someone said to hold your mail so that you have to pick it up at the post office and also mail his GC and SS when you receive it back to USCIS with a letter explaining circumstances and that you have reported it to ICE and if at that point you have filed for divorce a letter stating that.

[Scafidi454 22]

The same exact way she responds to your questions about not wanting to come or changin her mind is how he responded to me. He said he was coming because he loved me and needed to see me. I also stopped asking because he began to think it was because I had doubts.

I may hold a grudge...I cant say I wont.....but I know the person who did this was him, and it would be ignorant to blame others for his mistakes and hurt he caused me

Maybe this will happen to me to. We can only wait and see.

[Samantha78 117]

I'm sorry this has happened to you and I wish you the best for the future.

Thanks Ryan (((

[Samantha78 117]

You are a very strong woman and I know God is with you and will give you all the strength you need to overcome this and follow through with your plan. No one deserves to go through this....

What I could tell you is that you can't blame yourself for this, you did the best you could and regardless of what you did he already had this all planned out. Don't be so hard on yourself we all make mistakes that is what makes us human. You don't have to tell your co workers or friends take your time. You do not need to hear no one's BS right now. If you can take a few days off to get it together and focus your time and effort into doing what you need to do alert all the agencies USCIS, ICE, NVC, whatever it takes but get this done. Get in contact with a lawyer and file for a divorce and like many have said a restraining order. Also if he texts, or calls or emails you record them but don't insult and say anything that can be used against you.

Remember although it doesn't look like it now better that it happened now and not later. Better to see his true colors now before its too late. I also agree like someone said to hold your mail so that you have to pick it up at the post office and also mail his GC and SS when you receive it back to USCIS with a letter explaining circumstances and that you have reported it to ICE and if at that point you have filed for divorce a letter stating that.

Im staying out of work tomorrow to take care of everything. I wish someone would do it for me so I dont have to suffer more ...ugggggggggg

[Laure&Colin 558]

Thanks hun........I'm asking God to give me the strength I need right now. Like, you guys watched my journey......you know I love him and how hard I tried.....how could he do this????? Its so unfair and inhumane. I waited all my life to get married...I thought he was the one....and look at what a friggin fool I look like in the end. I have no idea what to tell my judgemental coworkers tomorrow....or friends that were expecting the failure. What a completely humiliating thing to happen to me, and anyone.

You don't give a sh*t what they think. They know better? Yeah? Have they never made any mistake? Do they have perfect lives? I doubt it.

Turn to people in your life who can be supportive. Forget the other ones, they don't deserve your attention.

Right now think of yourself and your kids first, focus on recovering.

You're asking why he did that? Well, obviously, because he's full of sh*t. Don't lose time and energy trying to understand what went through his mind, you'll never be able to really know, and in the end, it doesn't really matter at all.