He's Gone ;(

[Golden Gate 530]

Thank you and I hear everything you're saying. That stamp was like the best gift ever given to me other than having my children. I thought I'd be able to show him what a good wide I was and we'd have an awesome future together.

I'd love answers as to why he did this. Why he chose me to do this to. And I know I'll never get those answers which breaks my heart even more.

Someday, you won't care about him at all, and in fact, you will be so puzzled as to why you were ever attracted to him, because that is the day you will see him for who he really is, and then you won't waste another minute thinking about him. I've been through this, and I know you come out in the end so much better, you just can't believe it now. Now you have to go through the part about your heart healing and making you stronger, then you will be too busy being happy in your life to wonder about lost causes!! It hurts a lot because you have such a big heart. Take care of yourself, sweetie!

[dustingthestars 9]

I was very sad to read the thread your started the other day. I didn't contribute to it but I did read it through. Reading this thread today is also sad but I am glad that you have some resolution to the situation and you can now move forward with your life.

I wish you the very best of luck in the future and hope this situation doesn't leave you too jaded...

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Well, for those who saw my post earlier this week and all of the drama.....he decided last night that he wasn't in love with me anymore and didn't want to be with me. He left my house and returned today with police to get his things. There's a ton of ugliness in between last nght and now that happened but emotionally, I can't relive that right now so I'll omit that. But I will say that it was discovered he was in fact using me for the visa and this entire marriage was a lie, for him. My heart is broken but I know this is for the better. I called ICE and filed my fraud complaint and will follow through with the remaining steps.

I guess that the breaking point was when he had his friend confront me and tell me that I'm a crazy ###### if I thought any Dominican man would love an ugly gringa like me. And that he got what he wanted, the visa, so it was best to leave him alone now.

The rest of my day consisted of an overwhelming amount of messages and emails from his family offering money not to report him. Smh.

I know I'm crazy but I still love him. It absolutely kills me that he's done this and that I have to second guess all of the beautiful moments we had together. I may never get the answers I want but I'll have peace and that's most important.

I want to thank everyone so much for all of their advice while I've been on here. This is an amazing site.

My journey ends here ......

I am with a lot of people on here, good this happened now rather than later on in your marriage. You have kids and yourself to look out for. I know you are hurting, but in reality you just dodged a bullet. I'm sorry you had to go through this ####### for such a bad person. But time and Allah heals all wounds.

It's ok to still love as long as you know in your heart he isn't the man for you, you had good memories. But I'm not so sure if your journey is over. I'm fluent in the matters of the heart, but not so much on immigration. Since he played his hand so early(no GC, no ssn) this might bite him in the butt later on down the line. Unless he wants to be illegal for the rest of the time he is here, he needs those documents to stay here without incident. I don't know if you can halt those processes(ask the big Honchos on here, like T-Bone, Vanessa and Tony, Charles,) he might try to come back and smooth talk his way in. If this happens, remember what he said and how he treated you. He has made it clear he isn't in the marriage for love, don't ever forget that.

As for being ugly, we all agree he was talking pure BS. He's ugly on the inside, there is no cure for that. Take care and peace be with you.

[favored 31]

so sry to read it ends like this for u.. makes all this journey scary.. especially witout prayer.. i suggest u change ur locks on ur door too.. if ur kids gets picked up at school, let them knw only u shld be allowed to pick dem up or see them.. change ur pswrds.. be heads up dat he will try to come back once he realizes he needs da green card.. dnt buy his begging acts.. if he does cme back, secretly, calmly go to a room and call cops to come remove him.. dat way u hve a police rpt.. i think pickin ur mails at post office for a second while is gd idea.. dwnload a text program dat allows u to store/dwnload texts.. be alert, adjust ur routes and daily time if possible.. pray for strength

[Fernandez19 1]

Sam I'm sorry to read this! You've been such a help to all of us and you don't deserve this.

I pray that with time your wounds are healed and I will be praying for you

[Mark + Melissa 49]

Thank you and I hear everything you're saying. That stamp was like the best gift ever given to me other than having my children. I thought I'd be able to show him what a good wide I was and we'd have an awesome future together.

I'd love answers as to why he did this. Why he chose me to do this to. And I know I'll never get those answers which breaks my heart even more.

Do NOT fall into that trap of second-guessing. It leads nowhere. He chose you for whatever reasons flicked across his mind. There's no figure out why. It was nothing that YOU did. Stay strong! Do not let him back into your life. If he shows up, call the police and claim fear. Document everything, but do not speak or contact him in any way. Let your divorce lawyer or ICE do that. If your kids are like mine, they are going to be very protective and are also going to need to be told not to interact with him in any way.

Mark and I are so sorry for what you are going through. I've watched your story as I was a July k-1 filer, and was so pleased to see when your petition went through, and how strong you stayed throughout the process and the hurdles tossed your way. Do not second-guess your memories or his thoughts as you will only hurt yourself. Believe in yourself. Let the wonderful memories remain nice, but faded. Don't let him taint everything about the last 2 years of your life!

[jaycali 415]

I have followed your posts and can only say I'm truly sorry for what has happened. What he did was cruel, intentional, and the fact that he knew this all along makes it so much worse.

Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon thing to happen, and it makes it all the more important that you don't let him get away with it.

There are some very important reasons that this needs to end with a fraud charge against him:

1. He's a fraudster, people like that don't deserve to know they «did what they had to do, and it worked.»

2. If you signed the affidavit, or you had a Co-signer, you/they are responsible for him financially, potentially up to 10 years. Even if you divorce. Not having him charged and removed could potentially be financially devastating to the person who signed.

3. It's people like him who are the reason that so many of us wait 5, 6, even 7 months just for an NOA2. And even go through hell at the embassy.

4. What he did to you was just cruel and evil. Even if you still may love him, don't ever forget that he took full advantage of that love. He knew you loved him, and he knew how to play you.

Apparently, he didn't know that he's still on a conditional GC for two years. If he knows, he'll try to say you abused him. I'm guessing that might be why he brought police when getting his things. Am abused spouse of a USC doesn't need to be married to you for 2 years to lift conditions. Like other posters have said. Try to get everything you possibly can on him. Make backups of this. Return his GC and SSN to sender with a note saying he vanished a week after arriving, and is no longer available at your address. If more of his relatives contact you, this is the time to get statements from them in writing that he played you for a GC.

Good luck to you. Remember, one person doing this can get you down and make life miserable, but you'll find the right person one day.

Keep us posted. I think I speak for all of us here on VJ when I say we care, and feel for you.

[jaycali 415]

I'd love answers as to why he did this. Why he chose me to do this to. And I know I'll never get those answers which breaks my heart even more.

Why he did it? He saw it as an easy, fool-proof way to get a GC. He probably got some coaching along the way.

Why he choose you? You're a US citizen, and you loved him. YOU did nothing wrong. YOU used your legal right to petition to have your loved one live in the US with you. HE took full and complete advantage of you, your feelings, the institution of marriage and US immigration law. He used a provision of law designed to reunite families for his own personal benefit, and didn't care about anyone but himself in the process. On top of that, whoever signed your affidavit of support may now be financially responsible for him for the next 10 + years if he isn't removed.

Don't ever feel like this was somehow your fault. That's exactly what fraudsters and con artists prey on.

Edited February 26, 2012 by jhsm85

[Samantha78 117]

I was very sad to read the thread your started the other day. I didn't contribute to it but I did read it through. Reading this thread today is also sad but I am glad that you have some resolution to the situation and you can now move forward with your life.

I wish you the very best of luck in the future and hope this situation doesn't leave you too jaded...

Thanks....I appreciate your kind words :/

[Samantha78 117]

I have followed your posts and can only say I'm truly sorry for what has happened. What he did was cruel, intentional, and the fact that he knew this all along makes it so much worse.

Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon thing to happen, and it makes it all the more important that you don't let him get away with it.

There are some very important reasons that this needs to end with a fraud charge against him:

1. He's a fraudster, people like that don't deserve to know they «did what they had to do, and it worked.»

2. If you signed the affidavit, or you had a Co-signer, you/they are responsible for him financially, potentially up to 10 years. Even if you divorce. Not having him charged and removed could potentially be financially devastating to the person who signed.

3. It's people like him who are the reason that so many of us wait 5, 6, even 7 months just for an NOA2. And even go through hell at the embassy.

4. What he did to you was just cruel and evil. Even if you still may love him, don't ever forget that he took full advantage of that love. He knew you loved him, and he knew how to play you.

Apparently, he didn't know that he's still on a conditional GC for two years. If he knows, he'll try to say you abused him. I'm guessing that might be why he brought police when getting his things. Am abused spouse of a USC doesn't need to be married to you for 2 years to lift conditions. Like other posters have said. Try to get everything you possibly can on him. Make backups of this. Return his GC and SSN to sender with a note saying he vanished a week after arriving, and is no longer available at your address. If more of his relatives contact you, this is the time to get statements from them in writing that he played you for a GC.

Good luck to you. Remember, one person doing this can get you down and make life miserable, but you'll find the right person one day.

Keep us posted. I think I speak for all of us here on VJ when I say we care, and feel for you.

I am extremely hurt...and I know there will be many more morings or waking up crying and nights as well. But the one thing that is going to push me to go forward with complete filing of this fraud complaint is the saem reason you had stated. People, you, me, my friends, have and are still waiting for their approvals and getting denied visas because of people like him. I'm not going to let him get away with this. I will do everything I can and submit everything I can but then it will be up to USCIS to make the best decision. I hope they can see through this as much as the rest of us do.

Sam I'm sorry to read this! You've been such a help to all of us and you don't deserve this.

I pray that with time your wounds are healed and I will be praying for you

Thanks luv.....my heart is hurting but I know my love was real. I was real. I tried my best.

[Samantha78 117]

Do NOT fall into that trap of second-guessing. It leads nowhere. He chose you for whatever reasons flicked across his mind. There's no figure out why. It was nothing that YOU did. Stay strong! Do not let him back into your life. If he shows up, call the police and claim fear. Document everything, but do not speak or contact him in any way. Let your divorce lawyer or ICE do that. If your kids are like mine, they are going to be very protective and are also going to need to be told not to interact with him in any way.

Mark and I are so sorry for what you are going through. I've watched your story as I was a July k-1 filer, and was so pleased to see when your petition went through, and how strong you stayed throughout the process and the hurdles tossed your way. Do not second-guess your memories or his thoughts as you will only hurt yourself. Believe in yourself. Let the wonderful memories remain nice, but faded. Don't let him taint everything about the last 2 years of your life!

((((( I'll admit, if he hadn't brought the police to my house yesterday to get his clothes, I may just have fallen into his trap again. So although it was embarrasing, I now know it was the best thing that could have happened. I want to say I doubt he'd call or come by but then again, I never thought he'd do this. Nonetheless, I will NEVER all him into my life ever again.

[Scafidi454 22]

Again, I ask what sort of signs were there prior to his arrival here?

[Samantha78 117]

Again, I ask what sort of signs were there prior to his arrival here?

He was hesitant and rebellious. He woudl tell me that he was reluctant to give up his life in his country because he has everything there and nothing here. And no matter how much I tried to reassure him, he was not convinced. He first started to talk to me horribly and go out all the time. Then, in October, before the interview in November he completely changed. He was home all the time and making arrangents to sell his car and finalze things there so he could come here. I thought everything was getting better and it was nerves or normal doubt. Occassionally he would have these mood swings of happiness to anger and I was worried....but people told me I was over reacting so I blew it off. In the back of my mind I knew something wasn't right though...but not enough to think he'd do this. The big thing that struck me as odd was that we had waited almost 3 months for his visa to be issued and delivered and I he told me that as soon as it arrived he'd leave immediately because he was dying to see me. Then it arrived, and weeks passed....with very poor excuses as to why he wasnt coming. I was in the dark...no idea what to think. It was a confusing time. There were many signs, looking back, but I didn't see them because I wanted him here, I loved him, I love him.....so I played blind. And now I'm paying for it.

[no more 16]

He was hesitant and rebellious. He woudl tell me that he was reluctant to give up his life in his country because he has everything there and nothing here. And no matter how much I tried to reassure him, he was not convinced. He first started to talk to me horribly and go out all the time. Then, in October, before the interview in November he completely changed. He was home all the time and making arrangents to sell his car and finalze things there so he could come here. I thought everything was getting better and it was nerves or normal doubt. Occassionally he would have these mood swings of happiness to anger and I was worried....but people told me I was over reacting so I blew it off. In the back of my mind I knew something wasn't right though...but not enough to think he'd do this. The big thing that struck me as odd was that we had waited almost 3 months for his visa to be issued and delivered and I he told me that as soon as it arrived he'd leave immediately because he was dying to see me. Then it arrived, and weeks passed....with very poor excuses as to why he wasnt coming. I was in the dark...no idea what to think. It was a confusing time. There were many signs, looking back, but I didn't see them because I wanted him here, I loved him, I love him.....so I played blind. And now I'm paying for it.

Very Sorry to hear you are going through this. We all give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt...we all know when we go through this process its very stressful sometimes brings the crazy in us out so we accept these actions. You did nothing wrong you were being supportive of him. I hope you can find peace soon. I am sending you positive thoughts....

[OneLove <3 6]

Well, for those who saw my post earlier this week and all of the drama.....he decided last night that he wasn't in love with me anymore and didn't want to be with me. He left my house and returned today with police to get his things. There's a ton of ugliness in between last nght and now that happened but emotionally, I can't relive that right now so I'll omit that. But I will say that it was discovered he was in fact using me for the visa and this entire marriage was a lie, for him. My heart is broken but I know this is for the better. I called ICE and filed my fraud complaint and will follow through with the remaining steps.

I guess that the breaking point was when he had his friend confront me and tell me that I'm a crazy ###### if I thought any Dominican man would love an ugly gringa like me. And that he got what he wanted, the visa, so it was best to leave him alone now.

The rest of my day consisted of an overwhelming amount of messages and emails from his family offering money not to report him. Smh.

I know I'm crazy but I still love him. It absolutely kills me that he's done this and that I have to second guess all of the beautiful moments we had together. I may never get the answers I want but I'll have peace and that's most important.

I want to thank everyone so much for all of their advice while I've been on here. This is an amazing site.

My journey ends here ......

OMFG Sam I'm so sorry I just read your post I'm in tears reading this and can only imagine what you must be feeling right now. I can't believe people have the F****ing balls to do the s***t they do and then once they are here just say thats it, its done and over with once they are here.

Of course your feelings for him are still present because you did enter this relationship in good faith and believed it was very real. I can't believe now his family is trying to bribe you don't they understand how F**KED up this is and that he was just using you.

And to his friend you are one sexy gringa y ay muchoossss que desearian estar contigo. Like they say in DR ese lo que es e un AQUEROSO...

Even though I haven't met you in person I know you are such an amazing, beautiful, and intelligent woman and you deserve only the best for you. I know you are a very brave and courageous girl and will get through this. I am here for you if you ever need someone to talk or just listen..