He's Gone ;(

[Golden Gate 530]

Sam -

So sorry for your heartbreak, but just know that your heart is being prepared

for a love that is that much greater.

Khalil Gibran - 'Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.'

[fantonledzepp 159]

I'm so sorry to read this. Some things in life aren't fair and I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I know everybody is saying that it will heal in time and I know it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but it will pass. Give it time.

[jojolicious 38]

While reading your last thread I was hoping things would have worked out for you. I'm sorry for the heartbreak you are experiencing right now but I know that time will heal these wounds.

You have a lot going for you. It's his loss and what goes around comes around. I wish you all the best.

[natstered 0]

I don't have too much evidence but according to the ICE officer, what I have is good. When they offered money I just responded that they were crazy. That this wasn't about money it was love and a future together. And then right at the end of the conversation with ICE, she says, oh yea, don't be surprised if you're offered money. Then I explained that I was and she documented that. I feel so foolish ;(

This guy might be a badstered but don't give up from love...

I am the one who met and has been married with american guy and we are honest and sincere couple so I would say it is not the end of the world... Someday you will find someone who really love you... Doens't mean that the love between differenct nationalities will always be fraud....

Cheer you up honey...

[Sandra G. 5,038]

I pray that you can understand first It’s not your fault, second It’s okay to have a broken heart for a little while and third there’s HOPE.You have your entire life ahead my dear. I know that it is so easy to dwell on all the good things we remember,and probably you are sad, sobbing into a pillow, but rhese feelings are normal and all part of the grief process. Please don't blame yourself for his behavior. Don't take a fall for his stupidity.Leave it all behind, and never look back!You need to understand that a man who disrespects you,who makes you sad and who makes you cry, is not worth it!!!!!This kind of man is toxic and remember that kinds of poison is deadly. Time heals all wounds, I know exactly how are you feeling because I was there before!. Take control of your life and repeat one million times "I DESERVE BETTER, I DESERVE BETTER"!!!!

I pray God will give you His grace and comfort. I pray the Lord God will help you get through this difficult time. May God bless you and give you a peace that passes all understanding, and I loooove this quote " Life is way too short to spend it in bad shoes, polyester clothes, and poor relationships".

[PatRhea 1]

Im so sorry to hear that Sam, but the good thing is you already knew what he wants, much better to know earlier thank to know later, you will be more hurt. :-(

[TBoneTX 44,673]

He has saved you a lot of time. This is the best damned thing that ever could have happened for you (and to you). I stand by the penultimate message posted in your earlier (now-locked) thread. Per that thread, this was essentially an engineered, or contrived, marriage, without a foundation. Hopefully, before you try this sort of thing again, you'll learn some criteria for how to pick a mate.

Count the very real blessings in the quick end to this fiasco. Best wishes to you from here.

[adiiann 163]

I just hope you will not give up on finding the right person. Let the time heal your wounds and move on to a better life. Yes, it hurts right now because you are still in love to him but don't let it put you down.

I know its easy for us here in visajourney to give advice and to fuel your desire to revenge because we're not in your situation. It seems you are calm and taking things in a right way, I salute you on that. Focus your energy making your life even better for yourself and your kid. Time fly so fast and soon enough you will feel hurt no more.

I hope that you will find someone, just right for you, he doesn't have to be perfect in the eyes of everyone, but perfect enough to be your better half.

Good luck in next chapter of your life.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Good idea. I'm going to check into this first thing monday morning. And yea, he's not too bright. They coached him but left out that one big important piece of info

The suggestion to burn his mail is illegal. Do NOT burn his mail. Instead put his GC in an envelope addressed to USCIS (someone might be able to tell you what address is best) together with a letter that your husband has left you, with no forwarding address after admitting that he married you for a GC and offering you money to keep quiet. Let them them know you have started a file with ICE. DO NOT destroy his mail. Again, this is mail fraud and is a FELONY. Return it to sender, person not at your address.

[StarGirl 13]

Thank so much for that info. I wasn't sure what to do. I want to burn his GC and SScard. I purchased a mailbox with a lock on it today so he cant take the mail out while I'm gone to work.

sorry to hear about your situation (((((( It's truly heartbreaking.. My two cents: backup all the evidence you have, print letters out and store them in a safe place. Chances are that he can hack you email and get his nasty little hands on your correspondence with his "lovely" family.

I can hardly imagine your pain, but please be strong!! HUGS!

Edited February 26, 2012 by StarGirl

[VanessaTony 3,567]

No, not 100% normal. There were some signs but they were things that anyone making the transtion would do or say. The hesitation or fear. We've had rough patches....but he always made it better and proved his love for me. When he came with the cops today - I knew that love never existed.

This is concerning. This means he has most likely made some sort of report. There is no way to know what except if you were to go to the police and ask under what grounds would police escort you to a residence you were sharing with a partner to remove your belongings.

Do not call or message him excessively (accuse you of harassment). File for divorce immediately with a restraining order (he arrived with the cops and his stuff is gone, the fight you had, and you have kids to worry about). Update ICE and USCIS letting them know that you have filed for divorce. I would suggest you try filing under grounds of "fraud" is possible. He may fight it if you do though.

**Edit - I'm not sure what the texts say... they aren't from him are they? They're from his family asking you not to report him for fraud.. do they suggest they KNOW it's fraud or only suggesting that they're trying to reason with you for "irrationally accusing him of fraud"? Hopefully they are good enough that they take it as proof of HIS fraud, rather than just his family's fraud.

Edited February 26, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[Peter_Pan 661]

Don't burn his mail/GC, that would leave you in a sea of legal trouble.

Best wishes otherwise!

[MaggieT 4]

Well, for those who saw my post earlier this week and all of the drama.....he decided last night that he wasn't in love with me anymore and didn't want to be with me. He left my house and returned today with police to get his things. There's a ton of ugliness in between last nght and now that happened but emotionally, I can't relive that right now so I'll omit that. But I will say that it was discovered he was in fact using me for the visa and this entire marriage was a lie, for him. My heart is broken but I know this is for the better. I called ICE and filed my fraud complaint and will follow through with the remaining steps.

I guess that the breaking point was when he had his friend confront me and tell me that I'm a crazy ###### if I thought any Dominican man would love an ugly gringa like me. And that he got what he wanted, the visa, so it was best to leave him alone now.

The rest of my day consisted of an overwhelming amount of messages and emails from his family offering money not to report him. Smh.

I know I'm crazy but I still love him. It absolutely kills me that he's done this and that I have to second guess all of the beautiful moments we had together. I may never get the answers I want but I'll have peace and that's most important.

I want to thank everyone so much for all of their advice while I've been on here. This is an amazing site.

My journey ends here ......

OMG -DO NOT let him get away with this. I hope they will deport his stupid ####. I followed your story about how "home-sick" he was after 5 days, him going out with his friend all the time, him wanting the newest i-phone - it all made me sick to my stomach - and now its even worst - I am really sorry, YOU deserve better - I would follow through with the fraud thing, PLUS make him repay all the fees you had to pay, plus punitive damages - you are worth much more than that - what the hell was he thinking? does he really think that he can stay here after doing all that to you and admitting to fraud??? and what on earth was his friend thinking - so not cool... no class...

I know nothing we will say will make you feel better, but what should make you feel better - is that you have a WHOLE ARMY of VJ friends that are there for you - whenever you need to talk - not everybody has that.

Be strong, be optimistic, be you - and when enough time passes - you will be in love again and all this will not matter.

Maggie

[Kazulie 132]

While I don't know you, my heart hurts for you.

I posted in your other thread, something about leaving him now as to not waste another second of your life on him. While I sincerely feel sorry for you, I am secretively happy that this happened. I know you are too much like me and you would have given him chance after chance and because you loved him so much you would have kept talking yourself into the idea that he loved you back. You would have made excuse after excuse for him and this would have gone on for as long as he let it go on. I know because I've been there before. I'm sure a lot of us have (maybe not with immigration involved, but still). I am so happy that he couldn't wait another second to show his true colors.

I hope you don't take this the post the wrong way. I'm just so relieved that you are now in the healing stage, instead of it being 5 years from now. I pray for you and give you an e-hug. You will be wonderful without him as you were wonderful before him.

[Rufus2012 175]

I guess that the breaking point was when he had his friend confront me and tell me that I'm a crazy ###### if I thought any Dominican man would love an ugly gringa like me.

Ugly gringa? If those are your photos, you're no ugly gringa my dear, you're quite the opposite.

Rat the SOB out and then get on with your life. Life's too short to fret about a-holes like this. Learn from it, and look forward to the future, the world is yours, you gorgeous gringa.