He's Gone ;(

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I will definitely do something relaxing.

here's another empowerment song

[Samantha78 117]

here's another empowerment song

Lololol!! Thanks. I actually sang " I will survive" , outloud, after I finished doing everything !!!

[Trav&Shell 83]

Lololol!! Thanks. I actually sang " I will survive" , outloud, after I finished doing everything !!!

HAHA did you? That's awesome!!!

[C-ma'am 684]

Just wanted to wish you a great day!

Another song to cheer you up! While it doesn't necessarily apply to your case, well... it's catchy!

Clean version!

The explicit one, is right here!

[Samantha78 117]

Just wanted to wish you a great day!

Another song to cheer you up! While it doesn't necessarily apply to your case, well... it's catchy!

Clean version!

The explicit one, is right here!

HAHAHAHH!!!! So funny!! Thank you and I'm feeling a little explicit today....I'll go with that version!

[BocaChicaBabe 6]

I know it hurts, but eventually you'll be glad he left sooner rather than later, so he can no longer disrupt your household or cause any further emotional damage to you and your children. If he did indeed plan this from the beginning, he surely didn't plan very well since he left before he got his GC and SSN. That's more than likely the reason he was contacting you. Not because he truly loves you and wants to try to make it work, but because his family has let him know he messed up by leaving too soon. Has he still been calling? Have you received anymore messages from his family? Karma is doing it's thing already, because there's not a whole lot he can do here without those two things, even with the help of his family and friend. Since you mentioned both his parents and all of his siblings are here, I'm wondering why none of them did the work to get him here. I'm sure he never told the truth about that since he told you it was because he never wanted to come here. It just didn't make any sense for him to be the only one left behind. If it's a situation where they were unwilling or unable to bring him here, then I wonder how long they're going to put up with him being a burden to them now that he's here with no way of contributing or being independent. He set himself up for failure and he and his family are about to face a nice little struggle.

You're not crazy for still loving him, you're human. That's normal immediately following the end of a relationship. And in your case, everything was so sudden and unexpected. It doesn't matter how badly someone has hurt you and how much you wish you didn't still have feelings, you can't shut your emotions off just like that. It will take time for those feelings to fade. You made a huge emotional/fiancial investment in this guy, so I would imagine it's not easy for you to stop going over everything in your head. As long as you don't use your love for him as a reason to give him another chance to hurt you, then you'll be fine. I understand your desire to get answers to all of your questions, but even if you had a chance to ask him how can you believe anything he says? He's been lying to you since the beginning, so he has no reason to tell the truth now. The fact that you handled all of your business today and didn't let your love for him keep you from doing what needs to be done, also says you're not crazy. Good for you for having the strength to get through this!

Dear Sam I'm very sorry if I seemed a little harsh on you the other day but like you say sometimes people from the outside see things much clearer than us and every word you wrote made me absolutely certain about this mock of a man and I just got so angry . Love as they say makes us blind sometimes but we women are so strong that I know you will get through this and come out wiser. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you don't have to see his face ever again. God Bless you! and there is no need to say how beautiful you are.

I don't know if you see this but you can't believe a word him and his friends who clearly are scumbag tell you or do. Yes this type of men have a charm to them and you might see them with ten different women ( who also have self esteem issues ) fight for them and have twenty babies with them etc. But think about where this kid comes from and do not use it as an excuse use it as a clue of who he is NO 25 year old guy who had "past long distance" relationships and works sometimes could afford the lifestyle he wants HE was clearly receiving money from someone and instead of becoming a Lawyer he decided to spot women from here or Spain or wherever and yes these types of guy see a gringa either ugly beautiful or blind and think green card. That's why red flags are to be followed to the T... and We are all taking a risk but if we are our standards should be higher than normal. I don't know if you understand the difference but I wish you the best and won't try to persuade you from thinking otherwise because only time and spending time with yourself will help. If I were you I would sure stay away from all this drama too.

I was going to agree with V & A in your other post, but it was closed. She's apologizing for being abrasive with her approach, but I didn't sense she was trying to be nasty with what she was saying. I felt her post was coming from a place of deep concern. Only someone that cares would even bother to be as honest and try to make someone be more realistic about their situation. Sam, I was also going to agree with your statement about people on the outside seeing things much clearer than the individual(s) involved. Love often times makes people blind and makes them overlook a lot of things that should be addressed early on. I'm sure everyone has been in a relationship and once it ended started thinking about all the things they didn't like about that person, but accepted it only because they loved them. Too many people take offense to the outsider's observations and view it as jealousy or wanting to see someone fail. People can never handle the truth and it's always easier to say someone is jealous and doesn't want anyone else to be happy than it is to admit to possibly having been wrong and being taken advantage of. The unfortunate thing is, as V & A said, DR is a high fraud country and for that reason a lot of people are going to end up with one of the bad ones. Everyone complains about how long the wait is and how intense and invasive the interview can be, but it's that way for this very reason. It is extremely important to pay close attention to the behavior of the beneficiary from the very beginning because there are usually signs. When the outsider is speaking, it's because they know the culture and they know some people will say/do just about anything to get here. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how well you treat them, the only thing they care about is getting out of their country. Clearly, they don't care who they hurt in the process. All relationships are a gamble, but when your significant other is from a country that's high in fraud, the worst thing you can do is shut yourself off to the possibility of fraud and convince yourself that it will never happen to you. Remain aware and be cautious.

[Samantha78 117]

I know it hurts, but eventually you'll be glad he left sooner rather than later, so he can no longer disrupt your household or cause any further emotional damage to you and your children. If he did indeed plan this from the beginning, he surely didn't plan very well since he left before he got his GC and SSN. That's more than likely the reason he was contacting you. Not because he truly loves you and wants to try to make it work, but because his family has let him know he messed up by leaving too soon. Has he still been calling? No, not since yesterday - thank God Have you received anymore messages from his family? Not one....I blocked them from FB but they haven't contacted me any other way either Karma is doing it's thing already, because there's not a whole lot he can do here without those two things, even with the help of his family and friend. Since you mentioned both his parents and all of his siblings are here, I'm wondering why none of them did the work to get him here. NOW i think it was because his mother was not a citizen yet - she just received her GC one month ago, and I think the father did not because he had petitioned for his wife and there were problems so he was unable to petition more. This I found out either this week or right before he came I'm sure he never told the truth about that since he told you it was because he never wanted to come here. It just didn't make any sense for him to be the only one left behind. If it's a situation where they were unwilling or unable to bring him here, then I wonder how long they're going to put up with him being a burden to them now that he's here with no way of contributing or being independent. He set himself up for failure and he and his family are about to face a nice little struggle. Yea, that's another reason...he's very needy and greey and they didn't want to deal with that.

You're not crazy for still loving him, you're human. That's normal immediately following the end of a relationship. And in your case, everything was so sudden and unexpected. It doesn't matter how badly someone has hurt you and how much you wish you didn't still have feelings, you can't shut your emotions off just like that. It will take time for those feelings to fade. You made a huge emotional/fiancial investment in this guy, so I would imagine it's not easy for you to stop going over everything in your head. As long as you don't use your love for him as a reason to give him another chance to hurt you, then you'll be fine. I understand your desire to get answers to all of your questions, but even if you had a chance to ask him how can you believe anything he says? No, you're right....if he lied this entire time then why would he start telling the truth now He's been lying to you since the beginning, so he has no reason to tell the truth now. The fact that you handled all of your business today and didn't let your love for him keep you from doing what needs to be done, also says you're not crazy. Good for you for having the strength to get through this!

I was going to agree with V & A in your other post, but it was closed. She's apologizing for being abrasive with her approach, but I didn't sense she was trying to be nasty with what she was saying. I felt her post was coming from a place of deep concern. Only someone that cares would even bother to be as honest and try to make someone be more realistic about their situation. Sam, I was also going to agree with your statement about people on the outside seeing things much clearer than the individual(s) involved. Love often times makes people blind and makes them overlook a lot of things that should be addressed early on. I'm sure everyone has been in a relationship and once it ended started thinking about all the things they didn't like about that person, but accepted it only because they loved them. Too many people take offense to the outsider's observations and view it as jealousy or wanting to see someone fail. People can never handle the truth and it's always easier to say someone is jealous and doesn't want anyone else to be happy than it is to admit to possibly having been wrong and being taken advantage of. The unfortunate thing is, as V & A said, DR is a high fraud country and for that reason a lot of people are going to end up with one of the bad ones. Everyone complains about how long the wait is and how intense and invasive the interview can be, but it's that way for this very reason. It is extremely important to pay close attention to the behavior of the beneficiary from the very beginning because there are usually signs. When the outsider is speaking, it's because they know the culture and they know some people will say/do just about anything to get here. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how well you treat them, the only thing they care about is getting out of their country. Clearly, they don't care who they hurt in the process. All relationships are a gamble, but when your significant other is from a country that's high in fraud, the worst thing you can do is shut yourself off to the possibility of fraud and convince yourself that it will never happen to you. Remain aware and be cautious. i never thought it wouldn't happen to me....I was worried just for the simple fact I'm a cautious person in general. But, many people have accused me of judging men from past experiences and this was one scenario that I chose not to be biased. I wish I had been because I would have ended this a long time ago.

[C-ma'am 684]

Explicit works!

[Speeds03 16]

I'm at a loss of words bestie. It is too shocking to even think about it. But i hope you know damn well that you're an amazing person, and extremely lovely. You go out of your way to help people. And like me, i'm sure there are lost more you have helped. I wish i could say something that would help mend the situation, but it wont.

Be glad that you found out sooner rather than later. Look at this as an experience, something to be learned from, not put down from. This will get better for you, and only worse for him, since he is do one who truely lost his chance at true love. Do what you have to do, and do it with your head held high in the sky, and never look back!

Edited February 27, 2012 by Speeds03

[Samantha78 117]

I'm at a loss of words bestie. It is too shocking to even think about it. But i hope you know damn well that your are an amazing person, and extremely lovely. You go out of your way to help people. And like me, i'm sure there are lost more you have helped. I wish i could say something that would help mend the situation, but it wont.

Be glad that you found out sooner rather than later. Look at this as an experience, something to be learned from, not put down from. This will get better for you, and only worse for him, since he is do one who truely lost his chance at true love. Do what you have to do, and do it with your head held high in the sky, and never look back!

Never looking back hun...Never!

Edited February 27, 2012 by sam&jensi

[BocaChicaBabe 6]

I was going to agree with V & A in your other post, but it was closed. She's apologizing for being abrasive with her approach, but I didn't sense she was trying to be nasty with what she was saying. I felt her post was coming from a place of deep concern. Only someone that cares would even bother to be as honest and try to make someone be more realistic about their situation. Sam, I was also going to agree with your statement about people on the outside seeing things much clearer than the individual(s) involved. Love often times makes people blind and makes them overlook a lot of things that should be addressed early on. I'm sure everyone has been in a relationship and once it ended started thinking about all the things they didn't like about that person, but accepted it only because they loved them. Too many people take offense to the outsider's observations and view it as jealousy or wanting to see someone fail. People can never handle the truth and it's always easier to say someone is jealous and doesn't want anyone else to be happy than it is to admit to possibly having been wrong and being taken advantage of. The unfortunate thing is, as V & A said, DR is a high fraud country and for that reason a lot of people are going to end up with one of the bad ones. Everyone complains about how long the wait is and how intense and invasive the interview can be, but it's that way for this very reason. It is extremely important to pay close attention to the behavior of the beneficiary from the very beginning because there are usually signs. When the outsider is speaking, it's because they know the culture and they know some people will say/do just about anything to get here. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how well you treat them, the only thing they care about is getting out of their country. Clearly, they don't care who they hurt in the process. All relationships are a gamble, but when your significant other is from a country that's high in fraud, the worst thing you can do is shut yourself off to the possibility of fraud and convince yourself that it will never happen to you. Remain aware and be cautious.

i never thought it wouldn't happen to me....I was worried just for the simple fact I'm a cautious person in general. But, many people have accused me of judging men from past experiences and this was one scenario that I chose not to be biased. I wish I had been because I would have ended this a long time ago.

I should have made it clear that I wasn't necessarily speaking about you and your situation. I just thought it was a good idea to reiterate the importance of keeping ones eyes/ears open. It was more so for anyone who may read this and wasn't already aware of what they could be getting themselves into. My purpose was to hopefully help someone take a step back, stop automatically dismissing super shady behavior as being normal due to the distance, and possibly avoid this. I've known people that have made a million excuses and refused to take the red flags in their relationship seriously. It's such a shame to know someone's being manipulated/used and they don't want to believe it.

I understand what you're saying. You're cautious (as you should be) and you learned from your past experiences and tried to avoid the same mistakes. This time you listened to others and let your guard down against your better judgement, and BAM! I've been there too and have been extremely angry with myself for not listening to ME. You have to be careful sometimes with what certain people say/think. Most people can't accept the idea of you being alright with not having a man if it means putting up with BS, because they're not alright with not having a man. So they try to convince you that you're being too hard on men and you should lower your standards and be alright with whatever comes along, just because that's what they do. I've been in that same position, but stood firm with my beliefs. I left a man I was with for several years, which wasn't easy because of the history and emotions involved. He is a great guy (we're still friends), but we met young and I matured long before he did. There were several other things I didn't like about him that constantly bothered me during the relationship, but I overlooked them because I loved him. I finally looked at my situation as an outsider and decide that no amount of love was going to change the fact that I was unhappy with this guy. He ended up proposing once he realized I was ready to move on, but I declined. My friend was higly upset with my decision to move on rather than marry a guy that clearly only proposed because he felt pressured to do so. Even though I was unhappy with my relationship, all that mattered to her was that I would have been engaged. Her goal was to be married with kids and it didn't seem to matter who she married. She ended up marrying a guy that she constantly complained about and made excuses for. That's not my style. I have friends that deal with their men cheating just so they can have that companionship. Again, not my style. I've always said I'd rather be alone than be miserable with a man around just to be able to say I have a man. It takes a certain level of strength to be able to say I deserve more and I will not settle for trash even if it means me being alone for the rest of my life. Looks like you had that strength since you said you would have left a long time ago, but you stopped listening to YOU and allowed other people to sway your decision. The good thing is you're still that strong person and you're fully aware of what you need to do. This is just another learning experience and you will get through this.

[Nica_In_Love 98]

Reading this makes me want to punch that guy in the face! I'm so very sorry and I just wish we could go out for drinks or something, help you take your mind off of all this BS.

However, I'm glad the VJ peeps have helped you and you have taken the important steps to *hopefully* send his behind back to the DR. Stay strong, beautiful!!

[OneLove <3 6]

Restraint order - check

USCIS letter with evidence, sent - check

Divorce filed and sent for signature - check

Now I wait. It's in Gods hands from here.

I couldn't have done this without you guys. I've never had so much support in my entire life.

I owe you the world.

Remember to keep copies of EVERYTHING you send and/or receive

[Know_Ledge 6]

I don't know you but I feel like I do from reading all your posts. I'm so sorry this SOB did this to you and I can only imagine how you're feeling. Keep your head up mama...GOD LOVES YOU and will never leave in your time of need....

This too shall pass.. :star:

BTW..you're a beautiful a person, so you can tell that person who called you ugly, to kiss (you know what )

[Samantha78 117]

I don't know you but I feel like I do from reading all your posts. I'm so sorry this SOB did this to you and I can only imagine how you're feeling. Keep your head up mama...GOD LOVES YOU and will never leave in your time of need....

This too shall pass.. :star:

BTW..you're a beautiful a person, so you can tell that person who called you ugly, to kiss (you know what )

Thank you :/ I feel really hopeless today for some reason....emotional rollercoaster ride from hell. But I know I'm better off.