He's Gone ;(

[Orando 57]

I forgot to mention, from your writings, I think you will make a fine wife, you are not a feminist, you are not a pushover either, you hold your own in a relationship and can serve your husband as an equal partner, you seem to have good balance, you give everything you have to your relationship, you trust and you love genuinely and you are a good looking woman, I have found this to be a rare combination of qualities to find in a woman these days, you need these same qualities in your husband, someone who will give you the same and serve you the same. When I was 25 years old, I could not recognize a good woman like yourself, I was chasing something else, not wife material. Now he is on his own, without a strong woman beside him and he has committed immigration fraud, not looking good for him.

[Chicagoguy 2 27]

Sam, I dont even know what to say. I know you have fought with everything you have to bring the two of you together. Its a damn shame that people can be so cruel and ungrateful. But God is watching...and God dont like ugly. I know you must be in so much pain, but my dear pick yourself up and try with everything you have to keep it moving and remember that time heals all wounds. Im praying for you and I send to you BIG HUGS!!! xoxoxoxoxo

Time wounds all heals.

[Mike X Man 37]

Sorry to hear...and you are a beautiful woman. Don't let any #### make you feel any different. You were in love. You probably still are, but you gave it the ultimate try. Wish you the best and stay strong.

[Samantha78 117]

I'm just saying, I would have never guessed you were old enough to have a 17 year old!

For his friend to call you an ugly gringa sounds childish and makes me think this wasn't very thought through from his/their part.

I'm curious, did you meet his family in DR before this all happened? If so, how did they treat you?

I'm the foreigner btw, and my wife is the USC, what especially irks me about these situations is that it puts all of us in a bad light. My wife even asked me before we got married «we're doing this for real reasons right?» At that time I was speechless, but now I understand why the question came up.. Thankfully, it has never been a topic since.

I did meet his family. Every single person possible to meet. All friends, everyone. I thought his family loved me very much but I know they must have had an idea he was using me. Im angry at them very much right now.

I asked him the same thing before getting married. It was a necessary question that had to be asked in order to confirm we were on the same page....not a personal or doubtful reason.

[Samantha78 117]

I forgot to mention, from your writings, I think you will make a fine wife, you are not a feminist, you are not a pushover either, you hold your own in a relationship and can serve your husband as an equal partner, you seem to have good balance, you give everything you have to your relationship, you trust and you love genuinely and you are a good looking woman, I have found this to be a rare combination of qualities to find in a woman these days, you need these same qualities in your husband, someone who will give you the same and serve you the same. When I was 25 years old, I could not recognize a good woman like yourself, I was chasing something else, not wife material. Now he is on his own, without a strong woman beside him and he has committed immigration fraud, not looking good for him.

Thanks for making that point .... About being 25 and not looking for wife material. I thought about this many times with him and asked him dozens of times. His response each time was that he was ready, that he had already lived a life of being with women that he had no feelings for and that God blessed him with me....that he knew it was a gift and he must cherish me forever.

He stole my heart with that. And then broke it.

Sorry to hear...and you are a beautiful woman. Don't let any #### make you feel any different. You were in love. You probably still are, but you gave it the ultimate try. Wish you the best and stay strong.

Thank you :/

[Samantha78 117]

I left out one important vehicle I'm sure your aware of in my post. When I said : They will return most of the time. It does'nt mean the intention is the same. WINK

Your first post shocked me alittle about being a unattractive Gringa. LOL I think, and other Members as well. Your very pretty. All of Us......

I think I get the WINK. Lol.

And thank you. It's crazy how one harsh comment from a stranger can break you. That's unlike me to let something like "ugly gringa" phase me. But it did.

[And_Sam 44]

Sam,

First of all I want to say I'm so sorry this man did this to you. Right now you are reeling from the cruel words he said to you and his actions. I know if something ever happen to me and my husband, I would be horrified for him to show up with the cops to gather his stuff. You know in a way, it sounds like he may have someone feeding him information about leaving/separating from you. I mean, my husband would be clueless about getting the cops to come with him to get his stuff, but then he knows I'm not the type of person to do something that would require having the police there.

Just remember this, right now you are feeling the painful hurt he has done for you, but soon, that will pass and the anger will set in. He will come back to you. He is doing things that apparently others are saying to him. Soon, he will realize you were the reason he came over to the US. He will see it was you that gave him this life. Nobody else will do that for him.

Think past the hurt and look at his actions. Who he is/was hanging out with. This will explain alot to you.

Don't let this man ruin your life or your kid's lives. Let your kids see how strong you are and you aren't going to take this kind of abuse. (yes, it is abuse!)

Remind them that when someone says something negative or talks "down" to someone else, they are hiding the fact that either they have a very low self esteem about themselves or they realize their actions are very low down and they are trying to make themselves feel more "superior" over the other person. Stand your ground and tell them that you aren't going to allow this man to do this to you. That he made the decision to leave your family and home and one day he will regret it, because what has been done can be forgiven but never forgotten!

Take care of yourself and your kids. Like someone has pointed out before "karma will bite him in the azz!!!"

Edited February 27, 2012 by And_Sam

[alebella 3]

Im really sorry about that. time heals all wounds he will pay for what he did

[Orando 57]

Thanks for making that point .... About being 25 and not looking for wife material. I thought about this many times with him and asked him dozens of times. His response each time was that he was ready, that he had already lived a life of being with women that he had no feelings for and that God blessed him with me....that he knew it was a gift and he must cherish me forever.

He stole my heart with that. And then broke it.

Thank you :/

That is terrible, he did steal your heart, that is a twisted and corrupt conscious your man has to do something like this, to say all those things to you, terrible.

[Samantha78 117]

Sam,

First of all I want to say I'm so sorry this man did this to you. Right now you are reeling from the cruel words he said to you and his actions. I know if something ever happen to me and my husband, I would be horrified for him to show up with the cops to gather his stuff. You know in a way, it sounds like he may have someone feeding him information about leaving/separating from you. I mean, my husband would be clueless about getting the cops to come with him to get his stuff, but then he knows I'm not the type of person to do something that would require having the police there.

Just remember this, right now you are feeling the painful hurt he has done for you, but soon, that will pass and the anger will set in. He will come back to you. He is doing things that apparently others are saying to him. Soon, he will realize you were the reason he came over to the US. He will see it was you that gave him this life. Nobody else will do that for him.

Think past the hurt and look at his actions. Who he is/was hanging out with. This will explain alot to you.

Don't let this man ruin your life or your kid's lives. Let your kids see how strong you are and you aren't going to take this kind of abuse. (yes, it is abuse!)

Remind them that when someone says something negative or talks "down" to someone else, they are hiding the fact that either they have a very low self esteem about themselves or they realize their actions are very low down and they are trying to make themselves feel more "superior" over the other person. Stand your ground and tell them that you aren't going to allow this man to do this to you. That he made the decision to leave your family and home and one day he will regret it, because what has been done can be forgiven but never forgotten!

Take care of yourself and your kids. Like someone has pointed out before "karma will bite him in the azz!!!"

I also believe he's being coached in some things. Everyone is telling me there's no way he would have known he could bring the police to my home to get his things. But he also didn't know if I would get in trouble and he did it anyway. He didn't care about the outcome. He didn't talk much while he was here with the cops but he did say " you and me cant be together anymore". So, that was that.

I told my kids we would bounce back from this and that everything would be ok. I said, he didn't want to be here and didn't appreciate US so he's gone. I apologized to them for doing this. I'm dealing with a lot of guilt right now about that.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I think I get the WINK. Lol.

And thank you. It's crazy how one harsh comment from a stranger can break you. That's unlike me to let something like "ugly gringa" phase me. But it did.

I don't think it was what this stranger said that hurt you really... I think it's the fact that you start thinking about WHY he said that when he didn't know you so you figure your (ex)husband has been saying stuff and you wonder what and you feel betrayed and violated. You were weak and this stranger "hit" you when you were down. First your (ex)husband made you feel down with the way he treated you making you wonder what you did wrong, then some deadbeat stranger came in to tell you you were the reason it all failed while your brain was looking for answers.

When you're feeling stronger (and probably even now) you know that nothing you do or don't do can change other people. It was not your fault he turned out to be a deadbeat. He made the choice to behave the way he did. He could have chosen other paths but he didn't. That makes him the bad person, not you. I'm not saying you're perfect, no-one is, but in a situation like this it's obvious he had it planned... you can't play the game if he changes the rules...

You will be okay. You will be stronger for it. Karma will hurt him and that should make you feel better (as should his stupidity at leaving without the GC lol)

[Samantha78 117]

I don't think it was what this stranger said that hurt you really... I think it's the fact that you start thinking about WHY he said that when he didn't know you so you figure your (ex)husband has been saying stuff and you wonder what and you feel betrayed and violated. You were weak and this stranger "hit" you when you were down. First your (ex)husband made you feel down with the way he treated you making you wonder what you did wrong, then some deadbeat stranger came in to tell you you were the reason it all failed while your brain was looking for answers.

When you're feeling stronger (and probably even now) you know that nothing you do or don't do can change other people. It was not your fault he turned out to be a deadbeat. He made the choice to behave the way he did. He could have chosen other paths but he didn't. That makes him the bad person, not you. I'm not saying you're perfect, no-one is, but in a situation like this it's obvious he had it planned... you can't play the game if he changes the rules...

You will be okay. You will be stronger for it. Karma will hurt him and that should make you feel better (as should his stupidity at leaving without the GC lol)

Amen to this entire post!! You are completely correct on everything.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

So Sam, what are your plans for tomorrow? What do you need to do to protect yourself and your kids. What procedure do you want to start putting in place. You need to start thinking about tomorrow and let go of yesterday.

So what's the plan for tomorrow?

You are moving on and leaving his bull SSSS at the door. Let his mama or aunt clean up behind him, they created this mess so they should clean it up. Mess(him)

Edited February 27, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Samantha78 117]

So Sam, what are your plans for tomorrow? What do you need to do to protect yourself and your kids. What procedure do you want to start putting in place. You need to start thinking about tomorrow and let go of yesterday.

So what's the plan for tomorrow?

Tomorrows agenda:

Write letter to USCIS and mail

Get a po box to have mail forwarded

Go to the court to inquire/file for divorce and restraining order

Throw any memory of him out

And hopefully go to work late instead of staying out completely.

Other than the gossip girls at work, I feel needed and appreciated there and I'd love to work at least half the day to occupy my mind.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Tomorrows agenda:

Write letter to USCIS and mail

Get a po box to have mail forwarded

Go to the court to inquire/file for divorce and restraining order

Throw any memory of him out

And hopefully go to work late instead of staying out completely.

Other than the gossip girls at work, I feel needed and appreciated there and I'd love to work at least half the day to occupy my mind.

Don't worry about the office gossip, put on your shortest dress with your go to hell shoes walk with your head held high. Smile all day long as if you have just hit the lottery, he is history.

Remember you are walking tomorrow for every woman who have had to endure a situation such as this. You survived. :dance:

Edited February 27, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY