interview proof of relationship

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I've seen photos from quite a few of my Vietnamese friends' engagement ceremonies, and no one has ever worn a Western-style wedding dress in any of them, hence my confusion. I guess the consulate there must really be different if the usual advice (not to have anything that looks like a wedding, for fear of being denied a K-1 due to being presumed already married) does not apply. I wish it were possible for me to take photos in my wedding dress with my fiancé's family in Uganda without having this worry: so jealous!

There are usually two events associated with a Dam Hoi. The first is the traditional engagement ceremony. This usually involves only family. The betrothed couple are usually in traditional Vietnamese dress, like me and my wife in my avatar. Later in the day there is usually a big party. Everyone is invited - family, friends, neighbors - sometimes the whole village! The couple often wear traditional wedding attire for the party. I wore a tux, and my wife (fiancee at the time) wore a wedding gown. We DID include pictures of both the ceremony and the party, and it wasn't a problem with the consulate. There is usually at least one big sign at the party venue that says "Lể Đính Hôn", which means "engagement". Aside from that, an engagement part and a wedding party DO look very similar, but the consulate won't suspect a wedding just from the party pictures, especially if they see "Lể Đính Hôn" signs in the pictures.

[baron555 934]

Yes to have an engagement party in Vietnam is considered a very big thing.

As stated, include a cover letter describing the timeline and evolution of your relationship and referring to specific evidence to back up your statements.....kind of like a road map one can read and follow the natural progression of your relationship.

Moscow asked for more evidence and I sent them tons more but with this road map cover letter, about three pages long, and sent that in advance of the additional evidence and were approved.

I believe your country recognizes and may even want to see these regional ceremonies have taken place....makes sense to me. Good luck.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

I did the K1, never heard the word Dam Hoi,granted my wife is Khmer, she was never questioned about the type of garb(different of what I see the Vietnamese wear) we wore at our engagement.I'm not totally aware if the Co cared or even knew she was of a different ethnic group of Vietnam.

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

**** Moved to Vietnam Regional forum for country specific answers *****

[luckytxn 2,264]

I did the K1, never heard the word Dam Hoi,granted my wife is Khmer, she was never questioned about the type of garb(different of what I see the Vietnamese wear) we wore at our engagement.I'm not totally aware if the Co cared or even knew she was of a different ethnic group of Vietnam.

I also had a very lax Dam Hoi and was good to go. Sayha, you have been here a long time such as I have, and we have heard where the Dam Hoi was very important. Also have heard where visas were denied for the lack of customs being one of the reasons. I have for a long time try to figure out what it is that they look for. Sometimes they are wanting to see a Dam Hoi sometimes they don't seem to care.

Edited February 28, 2012 by luckytxn

[Sayha or bust. 71]

I also had a very lax Dam Hoi and was good to go. Sayha, you have been here a long time such as I have, and we have heard where the Dam Hoi was very important. Also have heard where visas were denied for the lack of customs being one of the reasons. I have for a long time try to figure out what it is that they look for. Sometimes they are wanting to see a Dam Hoi sometimes they don't seem to care.

I totally agree with you. Sometimes I think it depends on the mood of the CO if the you get the Pink or blue. I'm not at all saying pictures of the Dam Hoi are not important,like we seen in people's post over the years it might make or break you. There are 54 ethnic groups through out Vietnam and their customs differ from one another. How can can a CO judge your clothes or if they don't see the words Dam Hoi in the pictures with so many diff cultures? I wore a blazer in mine, I was too big to wear the traditional clothes. If your clothes look like a wedding so be it, your filing the K1 not the Cr1. Jac's post was spot on, update those items and give them all you got, they will pick through the pics and might only look at a few. I can honestly say my experience was pretty painless dealing with the process, granted I had an attorney and a fiancee who would study English and prep 16 hours a day several weeks living in a hotel in Saigon. Do I think that helped? Maybe a little but once again I go back to the CO and had to say he probably was in a good mood,maybe amused a bit by my her English and her determination to talk with him. She said he laughed a few times, smiled a lot and then conducted the rest of the interview in Vietnamese though an interpreter.

Listen to most of the people in VJ's there some on here that know what there talking about. PS. I'm not one of them, what I wrote above is merely my opinion. Best of Luck! She will be with you soon!

[luckytxn 2,264]

I totally agree with you. Sometimes I think it depends on the mood of the CO if the you get the Pink or blue. I'm not at all saying pictures of the Dam Hoi are not important,like we seen in people's post over the years it might make or break you. There are 54 ethnic groups through out Vietnam and their customs differ from one another. How can can a CO judge your clothes or if they don't see the words Dam Hoi in the pictures with so many diff cultures? I wore a blazer in mine, I was too big to wear the traditional clothes. If your clothes look like a wedding so be it, your filing the K1 not the Cr1. Jac's post was spot on, update those items and give them all you got, they will pick through the pics and might only look at a few. I can honestly say my experience was pretty painless dealing with the process, granted I had an attorney and a fiancee who would study English and prep 16 hours a day several weeks living in a hotel in Saigon. Do I think that helped? Maybe a little but once again I go back to the CO and had to say he probably was in a good mood,maybe amused a bit by my her English and her determination to talk with him. She said he laughed a few times, smiled a lot and then conducted the rest of the interview in Vietnamese though an interpreter.

Listen to most of the people in VJ's there some on here that know what there talking about. PS. I'm not one of them, what I wrote above is merely my opinion. Best of Luck! She will be with you soon!

Exactly. We never know but a Dam Hoi is a custom and they may question why one wasn't done. The best thing is to be proactive and explain why a custom wasn't performed.

You know the process better than many so thanks for still coming and helping.

[tcTTct 37]

My Dam Hoi was not traditional. It was held poolside at a hotel and my fiancée was in a western style gown. But we made sure the signage says Le Dinh Hon and the same thing was on the cake. The hotel receipt said Wedding Package but we made them change it to Engagement Party.

My CO paid attention to both the photos and the receipts.

We didn't plan to have Dam Hoi but did so because of the collective experience here on VJ, and to me, it was definitely necessary.

[tcTTct 37]

I also believe that the COs have different standards for Caucasian/Vietnamese couples and Vietnamese/Vietnamese couples.

[luckytxn 2,264]

I also believe that the COs have different standards for Caucasian/Vietnamese couples and Vietnamese/Vietnamese couples.

I think you are right on this.

Our Dam Hoi was just a party and not even signage. Just eat and drink a lot with a ton of her family showing up hungry and thirsty. Took a lot of pics. The CO didn't even seem to care about this. My babe also had maybe the hardest CO there was back then. Best bet is to have a Dam Hoi of some type and if one hasn't been done then to explain why.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

My wife Co was more intrested in why there wern't more pics of me and her kids. She answered when we were on our little excursions together the kids were in school. It must of been a good answer. The cermony we had was the same as if the khmer people use when they marry,once again CO couldnt tell the difference between a Dam Hoi and the marriage.

[quann 26]

I also believe that the COs have different standards for Caucasian/Vietnamese couples and Vietnamese/Vietnamese couples.

there are definitely biases. i'm sure they break it down further with respect to age and economic situations.

[luckytxn 2,264]

there are definitely biases. i'm sure they break it down further with respect to age and economic situations.

I think so too.