Honest opinions please

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I have a friend... (just go with this)

His fiancee recently went to a high school reunion (class of 94). The event went well and now they want to organize a beach party this coming Sunday. At least, that's how it started but now it's become an overnight event from Saturday night thru Sunday.

My friend is uncomfortable about it to say the least - given the fact that they are separated by long distance and haven't seen each other in months. At the reunion things got a little crazy - people were drinking and partying until 2am.

How would you handle this?

[Carol&Marc 0]

I would say you got a problem!

[jordanianprincess 0]

If it were my fiance and he wanted to go then I would not have a problem with it. I know what his intentions are and I don't doubt them one bit.

Your friend doesn't need to attend a reunion to get drunk and party and the distance is there everyday. If that person wanted to take advantage of the distance thing they could have done so already and they didn't even need to mention that there is a reunion or beach party.

[Carol&Marc 0]

yeah, you gotta watch the drinkin and partyin thing!

[Leafgal 3]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

Ding Ding Ding! Exactly.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

[Jenn! 918]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

I definitely do. It all depends on the person and how they handle their liquor. Those who have not had a bad experience tend to not believe that people could honestly do things that they do not want to do.

I don't blame your friend for being hesitant, but hopefully he knows his fiancee well enough to know whether this is a bad idea.

[ChristinaM 0]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

I agree - alcohol can do funny things.

I'd be concerned too - it's not so much about not trusting your loved one, but not trusting the other people at the party. An overnight thing would worry me, whether it had cause to or not.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

I agree - alcohol can do funny things.

I'd be concerned too - it's not so much about not trusting your loved one, but not trusting the other people at the party. An overnight thing would worry me, whether it had cause to or not.

Yes

[Savanphil 3]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

I would not want my husband to go...call me what you want....why set them up for failure? Nobody's perfect and if you think anybody is then....

Hubby has a saying it goes a little something like this: "don't fatten up fowl for a mongoose"

If I was in this situation I would talk to him and express my feelings.....usually he will decline and not go...my honey loves me and my comfort means more than a party

Edited October 3, 2006 by Savanphil

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

I definitely do. It all depends on the person and how they handle their liquor. Those who have not had a bad experience tend to not believe that people could honestly do things that they do not want to do.

I don't blame your friend for being hesitant, but hopefully he knows his fiancee well enough to know whether this is a bad idea.

His fiancee doesn't normally drink, but about a month ago she was at a house warming party drinking vodka shots because she said she felt obliged to the host, then drove home. Luckily she made it home in one piece.

[Leafgal 3]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

Yes Steven I so agree that alcohol can make good people do things that they wouldn't do. I guess for me it would be worrisome with alcohol and old friends sure but I think if you want something really bad you will not make the mistake, and if you do that you can recover from it. Hey I know I have made bad decisions in my life not necessarily alcohol induced, but that can contribute is all I meant, because good people aren't perfect.

I personally wouldn't worry about it because I have a friend who is living in Ontario and her husband has moved to another province and they are having issues with trust. It can eat you alive, so you just have to tell your friend that you have to trust in the other person.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I didn't say that alcohol doesn't affect peoples decisions, it most certainly does. However if it was me going to that party then most definitly would not get completly wasted. I'm an adult and I don't drink to end up leaning over the porcelin all night. Having a drink or two and pacing yourself is the adult way to handle it. I have seen my fiance drink and I know exactly how he gets and that is one that keeps my mind at ease, he can definitly handle his drinking.

Trusting the other people at the party shouldn't be a problem, we are surrounded by people everyday and anythng can happen. You don't need to worry about others, you only need to worry about how your fiance will deal with that situation.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I agree, the distance is there everyday so if one person was going to do something they shouldn't that can happen at any time. I know alcohol can make things happen, but I don't think they happen unless the person wants them to happen, just my opinion though.

You don't think that good people with the best of intentions under certain circumstances are capable of making decisions they will later regret?

Yes Steven I so agree that alcohol can make good people do things that they wouldn't do. I guess for me it would be worrisome with alcohol and old friends sure but I think if you want something really bad you will not make the mistake, and if you do that you can recover from it. Hey I know I have made bad decisions in my life not necessarily alcohol induced, but that can contribute is all I meant, because good people aren't perfect.

I personally wouldn't worry about it because I have a friend who is living in Ontario and her husband has moved to another province and they are having issues with trust. It can eat you alive, so you just have to tell your friend that you have to trust in the other person.

I agree about trust and it's tearing him up inside because he wishes he could just be peaceful about her going, but he can't find any peace in it. He's really concerned about the other people there drinking and how they might behave.