Married in Vietnam

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

You missed one or the bait posts ! (Right Above Yours)

got it now.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I spoke with thw officer yesterday, and she said if I was a perminate resident in Vietnam, and she said I could hand the petiton in at their office, wheater or not it was callled a DCF I do not know

yes

What "officer"? What "office"?

The consulate in HCMC does not accept I-130 petitions anymore. They haven't been accepting them since last August.

http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/iv/i-130/announcement.html

You can ask for an exception, but you have to convince them there's a darn good reason why you can't send your petition to the Chicago lockbox, like everyone else. That's a catch 22. The only valid reason would be because you can't return to the US. If you can't return to the US then it wouldn't serve the purpose of family reunification to issue an immigrant visa to your wife, not to mention that a sponsor must be domiciled in the US.

[chippo 2]

Is it aways about money? You wife will want you to be there, especially for the first few years when she will struggle adapting to a complete different culture and being away from her family. She would rather have you poor and flipping burgers as long as you are THERE with her. Your a guy and thinking about your family which is commendable and a normal guy thing, but sometimes we have to think about the female perspective as she will be equally effected by your decision.

I am just trying to save you the heartbreak that happened to me. I was in a similar situation with my first wife; career military, married in Europe, DCF, and then being deployed shortly after arriving in the US. I thought I was doing a good thing, making extra pay to send home and convinced myself that she would be 'fine'. Well. in reality she had trouble adapting, was homesick, and felt abandoned to some degree (and with justification). Keep in mind she was from Western Europe in which the culture is not all that different. Asian, and particularly Vietnamese are EXTREMLY family centric, and their culture is radically different from the West as I'm sure you are aware. Unless you plan on living in Westminster, Ca or Sugarland, Tx your wife is going to feel like she landed on Mars and will NEED you THERE to provide that love and support for a few years until she can adapt.

Yes, maybe I am sounding like your dad, but your situation rang a familiar bell and brought back some circumstances I don't plan on repeating this time. I apologize if I sounded blunt, but am trying to prevent you from following in my old and mistaken path.

all valid points, and yes I am thinking like a guy, and I should now and always remember why I am doing this, and that she is the most important thing in my life, that thought itself drives me to do all that I can, but if I am not there I am really not doing all that I can. The time period I was considering being absent was for 6 months, and I should be working during the petition process, and was concerned of overlaps of time working and her coming to the US. Like yourself I just dont want to mess up the best thing in my life. I have not been married before, but waited, and now that I have my expectations over filled, I just wanted the best for her and our future family. but I am also tring to buy a house here in VN, for our retirement and also for her mom to live in now, currently their house is smaller and in a village, as I wanted something larger and nicer, near the market so Ma can have a business, there at the house. That is also in my mindset to try to have extra money. But her by my side, is the most important thing

thank you for reminding me of her perspective,

[quann 26]

all valid points, and yes I am thinking like a guy, and I should now and always remember why I am doing this, and that she is the most important thing in my life, that thought itself drives me to do all that I can, but if I am not there I am really not doing all that I can. The time period I was considering being absent was for 6 months, and I should be working during the petition process, and was concerned of overlaps of time working and her coming to the US. Like yourself I just dont want to mess up the best thing in my life. I have not been married before, but waited, and now that I have my expectations over filled, I just wanted the best for her and our future family. but I am also tring to buy a house here in VN, for our retirement and also for her mom to live in now, currently their house is smaller and in a village, as I wanted something larger and nicer, near the market so Ma can have a business, there at the house. That is also in my mindset to try to have extra money. But her by my side, is the most important thing

thank you for reminding me of her perspective,

lol you should slow down and take a breath, and stop being so defensive. don't really know the full details of your situation but working your #### off right now so you can buy that "retirement" home for her family to live in is bad thinking.