the real work begins once your love is here

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

I havn't been on this website in so long. When I can remember going on this site mutiple times a day for a year while going through the k-1 process. I'm very thankful my husband Nattoy made it to this country and has been a better man for me than I could have ever imagined. He got a great job and mine is ok for now. We started out living with friends and now have our own apartment and continue to build our lives together. Things are not always easy as I had to be patient with him as he relied on me to show him the ropes. Sometimes I would get upset that he didn't know something. LOL Which is why I learned to be patient and understanding to someone in America for the first time. He is very smart and has come a long way. We even argued quit a bit after about 8 months of him being here, married life is a whole different ball game, but learning and growing in our relationship has brought us to a point where we treat each other respectfully for the most part. We have both givin each other many lessons and a richer life. I feel the love he has for me and am very greatful. Without this website I wouldn't have beable to do it. We will be married a year April 30th. I feel I've found a diamond in the rough:) Maybe some kids in a few years :)

For anyone affraid in the process,if your willing to do the work, and your motives are good and right, God will take care of the rest.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

I havn't been on this website in so long. When I can remember going on this site mutiple times a day for a year while going through the k-1 process. I'm very thankful my husband Nattoy made it to this country and has been a better man for me than I could have ever imagined. He got a great job and mine is ok for now. We started out living with friends and now have our own apartment and continue to build our lives together. Things are not always easy as I had to be patient with him as he relied on me to show him the ropes. Sometimes I would get upset that he didn't know something. LOL Which is why I learned to be patient and understanding to someone in America for the first time. He is very smart and has come a long way. We even argued quit a bit after about 8 months of him being here, married life is a whole different ball game, but learning and growing in our relationship has brought us to a point where we treat each other respectfully for the most part. We have both givin each other many lessons and a richer life. I feel the love he has for me and am very greatful. Without this website I wouldn't have beable to do it. We will be married a year April 30th. I feel I've found a diamond in the rough:) Maybe some kids in a few years :)

For anyone affraid in the process,if your willing to do the work, and your motives are good and right, God will take care of the rest.

I totally agree with the title of your topic!

People get caught up in the wedding and getting the visa they think coming here is the end of the hard work, rather than the start of it.

It sounds like you are building a solid foundation for your future.

Best of luck with everything and congratulations on your upcoming wedding anniversary!

Helen

[feli114 65]

Its nice to hear a happy story. It gives me hope!

[bigdog 376]

It is a major adjustment for both sides, one leaves home, friends, culture and a job, the other is already in USA, and has to share their life and major adjustment issues, been there done that. Thanks for sharing, it is good for everyone to see they are not alone in their journey to a new life together.

Edited February 18, 2012 by bigdog

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Nice to hear, come back and tell us where you'll are at 3 years from now. Marriage requires real work, most people aren't prepare or ready to work at it. Dating/talking on the phone long distance isn't marriage, visiting him/her in their home country isn't marriage. Living and sharing space, common goals and responsibilities are issues that bonds a marriage.

[rlogan 2,036]

We've been together four years now, with two children. Maybe adjustment is difficult for some people, but it certainly wasn't for us. Yes, of course I had to be patient with a girl 30 years younger than me from the Philippines. But some people made way too big a deal about moving from the most densely populated city on earth in tropical Philippines to the edge of the wilderness in a log cabin of interior Alaska. She had never seen snow of course. We drive snowmachines, four-wheelers, and track rigs every day but autos only once a month other than logging operations, which are off-road 4WD chain-saw-and-winch-your-way-through fun.

Seems to me that maliciously-minded people tried real hard to point out all of these differences in age, culture, education, language, ethnicity, weather, etc. instead of looking at what our common interests and values were. Some of them insisted I should have her spend a lot of time away from here meeting new friends and doing town activities, the Fil-Am society and whatever. Pffft. We went to town one time in the six weeks of deepest winter here, and both of us were REALLY glad to get back to the cabin where there is nobody but us and our kids.

We hear from some people the emphasis on all these sacrifices they made to get married and immigrate, or for me it would be giving up the international playboy gig and dropping all my money into modified bush airplanes and crazy expeditions - but neither one of us feels that way, not in the slightest. We're thrilled to be together and thank God we are not thousands of miles away talking on yahoo chat instead of deciding whether we are going to get another round of nooky in today. That life of waiting on immigration was WAY harder than being together for us.

[Larry&Betty 0]

We've been together four years now, with two children. Maybe adjustment is difficult for some people, but it certainly wasn't for us. Yes, of course I had to be patient with a girl 30 years younger than me from the Philippines. But some people made way too big a deal about moving from the most densely populated city on earth in tropical Philippines to the edge of the wilderness in a log cabin of interior Alaska. She had never seen snow of course. We drive snowmachines, four-wheelers, and track rigs every day but autos only once a month other than logging operations, which are off-road 4WD chain-saw-and-winch-your-way-through fun.

Seems to me that maliciously-minded people tried real hard to point out all of these differences in age, culture, education, language, ethnicity, weather, etc. instead of looking at what our common interests and values were. Some of them insisted I should have her spend a lot of time away from here meeting new friends and doing town activities, the Fil-Am society and whatever. Pffft. We went to town one time in the six weeks of deepest winter here, and both of us were REALLY glad to get back to the cabin where there is nobody but us and our kids.

We hear from some people the emphasis on all these sacrifices they made to get married and immigrate, or for me it would be giving up the international playboy gig and dropping all my money into modified bush airplanes and crazy expeditions - but neither one of us feels that way, not in the slightest. We're thrilled to be together and thank God we are not thousands of miles away talking on yahoo chat instead of deciding whether we are going to get another round of nooky in today. That life of waiting on immigration was WAY harder than being together for us.

Wow I read this and just instantly got teary eyed it made me feel so encouraged. Thx

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

We've been together four years now, with two children. Maybe adjustment is difficult for some people, but it certainly wasn't for us. Yes, of course I had to be patient with a girl 30 years younger than me from the Philippines. But some people made way too big a deal about moving from the most densely populated city on earth in tropical Philippines to the edge of the wilderness in a log cabin of interior Alaska. She had never seen snow of course. We drive snowmachines, four-wheelers, and track rigs every day but autos only once a month other than logging operations, which are off-road 4WD chain-saw-and-winch-your-way-through fun.

Seems to me that maliciously-minded people tried real hard to point out all of these differences in age, culture, education, language, ethnicity, weather, etc. instead of looking at what our common interests and values were. Some of them insisted I should have her spend a lot of time away from here meeting new friends and doing town activities, the Fil-Am society and whatever. Pffft. We went to town one time in the six weeks of deepest winter here, and both of us were REALLY glad to get back to the cabin where there is nobody but us and our kids.

We hear from some people the emphasis on all these sacrifices they made to get married and immigrate, or for me it would be giving up the international playboy gig and dropping all my money into modified bush airplanes and crazy expeditions - but neither one of us feels that way, not in the slightest. We're thrilled to be together and thank God we are not thousands of miles away talking on yahoo chat instead of deciding whether we are going to get another round of nooky in today. That life of waiting on immigration was WAY harder than being together for us.

My husband is from the interior also and I can understand finding it easy to fit in there. Almost everyone is a transplant from somewhere else!

My husband grew up there and his family are all still there, we own a cabin there and I imagine we'll move back some day. My question would be where does your wife meet people, friends? Does she work? It would also be interesting to hear what she thinks about it all. In some ways I think the interior would make the transition easy, in some ways hard. I've spent extended time there and I'd move back in a heartbeat. People were so friendly and Alaska truly is a special place.

Stay warm!

Edited February 19, 2012 by Helen Louise Pile

[Orando 57]

We've been together four years now, with two children. Maybe adjustment is difficult for some people, but it certainly wasn't for us. Yes, of course I had to be patient with a girl 30 years younger than me from the Philippines. But some people made way too big a deal about moving from the most densely populated city on earth in tropical Philippines to the edge of the wilderness in a log cabin of interior Alaska. She had never seen snow of course. We drive snowmachines, four-wheelers, and track rigs every day but autos only once a month other than logging operations, which are off-road 4WD chain-saw-and-winch-your-way-through fun.

Seems to me that maliciously-minded people tried real hard to point out all of these differences in age, culture, education, language, ethnicity, weather, etc. instead of looking at what our common interests and values were. Some of them insisted I should have her spend a lot of time away from here meeting new friends and doing town activities, the Fil-Am society and whatever. Pffft. We went to town one time in the six weeks of deepest winter here, and both of us were REALLY glad to get back to the cabin where there is nobody but us and our kids.

We hear from some people the emphasis on all these sacrifices they made to get married and immigrate, or for me it would be giving up the international playboy gig and dropping all my money into modified bush airplanes and crazy expeditions - but neither one of us feels that way, not in the slightest. We're thrilled to be together and thank God we are not thousands of miles away talking on yahoo chat instead of deciding whether we are going to get another round of nooky in today. That life of waiting on immigration was WAY harder than being together for us.

Amen, it is all about the two people involved in the relationship. I hope to have a similar adjustment experience as yours....

[rlogan 2,036]

My husband is from the interior also and I can understand finding it easy to fit in there. Almost everyone is a transplant from somewhere else!

My husband grew up there and his family are all still there, we own a cabin there and I imagine we'll move back some day. My question would be where does your wife meet people, friends? Does she work? It would also be interesting to hear what she thinks about it all. In some ways I think the interior would make the transition easy, in some ways hard. I've spent extended time there and I'd move back in a heartbeat. People were so friendly and Alaska truly is a special place.

Stay warm!

We don't really meet people. Howard and Florence came out once - they're on this site - and one other person in the last year. That was double the visits than we had the year before. We left to see my family and old friends in the lower '48 for five weeks in early winter. We see people when we go town on a supply run, or if we get gas for the snowmachines or four-wheelers at a little store down the road. There's no feeling like being alone in the woods. It never gets old. Money has absolutely no meaning, and you don't wear make-up or worry about how your clothes look. There's moose in the yard and a bear occasionally - I've had to shoot five of them in 25 years for capital offenses like trying to kill me or insisting on breaking into the cabin. Wolves are very, very rare on the property and way too smart to tangle with humans, but they did kill a dog of mine once. She's only seen one wolf, a little ways up the valley.

Lira does not talk on discussion boards. Too many nasty people. She doesn't work outside the home, but this is a lot of work just to live here, especially heating with wood and having two little children. She talks to her family every day on yahoo chat if the internet is working, which is not all the time! I do consulting on the internet, mostly feasibility studies and capital project/time value of money problems. But I own heavy equipment too and do construction if I feel like it. Remote stuff, alone.

Thanks Larry and Betty, and orando. When I met her in the Philippines she got mad at me once, and pulled a teenage stunt to try upsetting me. I walked up to her smiling, when she fully expected my anger, and I told her that she had a very simple decision to make: she could decide to be happy for the rest of the day, or she could decide to be angry. I promised her that if she just made the right decision that the day would be wonderful and that's exactly what happened. So that's the way it has always been for us: we just choose to be happy and have a relentless focus on being a team. S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is a serious problem in the far north, and you have to keep focus or it will beat you. Alcoholism, domestic abuse, and suicide is the highest in the nation here, and if we were drama queens we'd be saying boo hoo hoo, life is so miserable, but it's a lot more fun to stay positive and enjoy life.

[Therealworld 90]

Congrats. I will be married a year on April 30th as well. Unfortunately my husband is still in Jamaica. Cant wait till the day we are finally living together in one household. It is nice to know that all is working out. Yes please be patient, he sounds like a wonderful man. One day at a time as you both come from two different cultural backgrounds. Continue to learn his as he continues to learn yours. You both have a lot to teach each other. Again Congrats and best of luck, but then again it seems like you already have it. Take care!

[Afrikan Queen 11]

I feel I've found a diamond in the rough:)

Awww...... it's nice to hear from you again. I know what it's like. I've heard it said that the first year is the hardest. Your growing on each other and as each day goes by your love grows even more for each other. Wish you the best.

[DarlingNikki 7]

I havn't been on this website in so long. When I can remember going on this site mutiple times a day for a year while going through the k-1 process. I'm very thankful my husband Nattoy made it to this country and has been a better man for me than I could have ever imagined. He got a great job and mine is ok for now. We started out living with friends and now have our own apartment and continue to build our lives together. Things are not always easy as I had to be patient with him as he relied on me to show him the ropes. Sometimes I would get upset that he didn't know something. LOL Which is why I learned to be patient and understanding to someone in America for the first time. He is very smart and has come a long way. We even argued quit a bit after about 8 months of him being here, married life is a whole different ball game, but learning and growing in our relationship has brought us to a point where we treat each other respectfully for the most part. We have both givin each other many lessons and a richer life. I feel the love he has for me and am very greatful. Without this website I wouldn't have beable to do it. We will be married a year April 30th. I feel I've found a diamond in the rough:) Maybe some kids in a few years :)

For anyone affraid in the process,if your willing to do the work, and your motives are good and right, God will take care of the rest.

Hello my FL friend! I am so thrilled to see that you two are learning and growing on each other every day. Although we have only been married a couple of months that is the same substance I try and instill in our relationship. It is so easy to get annoyed and aggravated with the changes that have occurred in your life since your spouse has been here with you. For me, it is sometimes a real shock! But I have learned to center myself and remember that we are coming from two different worlds and have our own individual habits that we are trying to merge into one household! It is a learning game. But as you said... if its important enough, you learn to work through it. That's the real test!

Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary! I'm so thrilled to see you tow going strong! TTYS

[X Factor 1,112]

Yes marriage you have to work at it but it doesn't have to be work. Communication is very important so that each partner understands the needs of each. Then showing love and respect for each other needs. A whole lot of compromise also helps.

[mo&sain 0]

This was DEAD ON THE MONEY! Thank you for this posting and I wish you both continued success in your marriage. xo