life in the usa

[habibi83 12]

My husband has arrived in the US two weeks ago; I had one week off where I showed him around the city and introduced him to my family. Also we applied for his ss #(he got in after one week). so now it's week two and my husband is studing "Rules of the road" to obtain his license and we just created his resume. I'm little worried because the process here is much different for him than in Egypt. I'm doing my best to explain to him how this country works but I feel sometimes its difficult for him to understand. It's only been two weeks and maybe I'm rushing it??? but we started to apply for different sales position (my husband did sales job in egypt) and few people called him back but I see that it's difficult for them to communicate with each other. In egypt I guess there's no job interview process...also studing from the rules of the road is little challenging. I'm just worried and feel hopeless I wish I could make this transition for him easier. I am rushing too fast for him to get a job and driver's license???? Can anyone tell me about their transition period after coming here please? Should I give my husband more time to adjust before getting a job? But at the same time, we live in the suburbs so it's very boring he sits home alone when i go to work. all my friends work and i haven't even talked with them much since he came because i always try to take him out after i come home from work.

[Jason-Sasha 1]

I think he just needs time out meeting your friends. He needs to build a social network and this will also help to better his communication comfort and understanding. It will definitely take time, but I wouldn't encourage him to stay home. He can get hands on studying if he dives into making new friends. My wife stayed home for the first year of our marriage and nearly half of the second. She was pregnant and he was born in that period. I regret not encouraging her to be more involved socially. Hope you won't make the same mistake.

[Joandjo 20]

My husband has arrived in the US two weeks ago; I had one week off where I showed him around the city and introduced him to my family. Also we applied for his ss #(he got in after one week). so now it's week two and my husband is studing "Rules of the road" to obtain his license and we just created his resume. I'm little worried because the process here is much different for him than in Egypt. I'm doing my best to explain to him how this country works but I feel sometimes its difficult for him to understand. It's only been two weeks and maybe I'm rushing it??? but we started to apply for different sales position (my husband did sales job in egypt) and few people called him back but I see that it's difficult for them to communicate with each other. In egypt I guess there's no job interview process...also studing from the rules of the road is little challenging. I'm just worried and feel hopeless I wish I could make this transition for him easier. I am rushing too fast for him to get a job and driver's license???? Can anyone tell me about their transition period after coming here please? Should I give my husband more time to adjust before getting a job? But at the same time, we live in the suburbs so it's very boring he sits home alone when i go to work. all my friends work and i haven't even talked with them much since he came because i always try to take him out after i come home from work.

That's exactly the way we went at it when my wife arrived. I think it's a matter of their personality, my wife's pretty sharp and I think would get bored if we weren't doing what we can to keep her challenged and moving forward. Also alot of the ability to get a DL and do name changes, applications go away when/if the I-94 expires.

[And_Sam 44]

my husband went crazy waiting on trying to find work!! He can't stand sitting around all day. So needless to say, he painted the house, the garage, the mailbox, the lawnmower...all the same color of paint!!!! I made sure he was able to go to the mosque on Fridays so at least he could start to make friends and also "networking" to line up jobs!! Good luck and have patience! I know mine wore thin more than once, but when I thought if the shoe was on the other foot, I just bit my tongue!!!

[NY_BX 397]

My husband has arrived in the US two weeks ago; I had one week off where I showed him around the city and introduced him to my family. Also we applied for his ss #(he got in after one week). so now it's week two and my husband is studing "Rules of the road" to obtain his license and we just created his resume. I'm little worried because the process here is much different for him than in Egypt. I'm doing my best to explain to him how this country works but I feel sometimes its difficult for him to understand. It's only been two weeks and maybe I'm rushing it??? but we started to apply for different sales position (my husband did sales job in egypt) and few people called him back but I see that it's difficult for them to communicate with each other. In egypt I guess there's no job interview process...also studing from the rules of the road is little challenging. I'm just worried and feel hopeless I wish I could make this transition for him easier. I am rushing too fast for him to get a job and driver's license???? Can anyone tell me about their transition period after coming here please? Should I give my husband more time to adjust before getting a job? But at the same time, we live in the suburbs so it's very boring he sits home alone when i go to work. all my friends work and i haven't even talked with them much since he came because i always try to take him out after i come home from work.

My fiance went to several interviews in Egypt, so yes, they do interviews as part of the hiring process. I think you're both rushing. It's important to study and adjust with time and within a person's natural adaptation process. My fiance took the subway all by himself the 2nd day he was here. I wanted to faint just by the thought, but that's what he wanted to do, so I got him a metro card and off he went. Everyday after that he went to the gym all by himself; he's in the gym right now! That little moment of independence worked wonders. It opened the door for him to explore more independence on his own. He found a mosque all by himself, I didn't even know existed and its right by our building! So the adaptation process is for me too. I need to learn to have room for independence within ourselves. We are drawn to lead the way because we live in the US and, of course, we want to help. All this said, he must understand he needs to follow the rules under this umbrella and not the umbrella of his former country. He must be open to learn, so the adaptation process is less painful if not seamless.

Good luck and I wish he finds a job real soon!

[queenofthenile 2]

we can not say if or not you are rushing things.. that all depends on your husband and if he feels overwhelmed.. yes.. here in egypt there are some interviews.. but most positions are filled by who you know rather than a formal interview and a resume/c.v. so it may be different for him...and i can imagine cause him to feel a little discouraged as this is a different process than he is used to... Absolutely he needs to build his social network..and most likely will feel more comfortable with some native arab speakers... If you have not yet.. find the nearest mosque/masjid...as well as any arab food places, anything to help him feel a little more at home in this foreign place... I can't speak for the masjid where you are, but I know mine...and I look forward to taking my husband there...as I know that the guys will take him under their wing and help him...to help with something to do while you are at work..help him adjust..and possibly help him to find a suitable job..

I am not speaking from experience, my own living in Egypt, the worst feeling is isolation and lonelyness...and everyone will say your spouse should be enough..i disagree..they are never enough..which is why we have friends and family..you are in a foreign place because you want to be with the one you love, but when life feels hard and not normal, you begin to dream of just being normal...and you don't want to say anything to your spouse to make them feel bad so you keep these feelings inside..I am not one to keep it inside so I spoke out..and I got a job and meet other Americans here and they have helped me find things to help me feel normal in this foreign place... and as said before.. Independence.... doing something on your own.. gives you a feeling of ownership in the foreign place...the 1st time I took the metro alone here...was sooooooooooooo exciting.. the 1st time I took the micro bus alone...even better.. my husband was paranoid...as he didn't want me to..scared of the "what if" but being able to be me.. and do things on my own..was comforting.. so i would imagine.. if he drove in cairo...being able to get his DL and drive with be an incredible step for him to begin to feel normal and not stuck.... Inshallah this will help you.. May Allah bless your husband in this new journey!

[sailormoon01 41]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm also in Chicago and I always feel my husband is bored and he hates the weather. I live in the city, but kind of on the border of the suburbs, so it is extremely boring here too. I also try to take him out. Unfortunately, I don't have a car now and I have to rely on using my mom's car and us just going places with her.

[msheesha 548]

Here are some things that helped with my husband's adjustment --

-- having an international drivers license so he could drive right away.

-- him buying his own car within the first month so he had a sense of independence and

freedom

-- GPS was crucial

-- English classes, so he could get out of the house & socialize with others in his same

boat

-- volunteering - gets new arrival out of the house, having a purpose, helping others,

& builds US resume and references

-- patience, patience, and more patience. It's tough on both parties and takes a lot of

patience and compromise

[habibi83 12]

Here are some things that helped with my husband's adjustment --

-- having an international drivers license so he could drive right away.

-- him buying his own car within the first month so he had a sense of independence and

freedom

-- GPS was crucial

-- English classes, so he could get out of the house & socialize with others in his same

boat

-- volunteering - gets new arrival out of the house, having a purpose, helping others,

& builds US resume and references

-- patience, patience, and more patience. It's tough on both parties and takes a lot of

patience and compromise

Thank you everyone for replying and giving me all this positive feedback:) I really appreciate it all.

[habibi83 12]

My fiance went to several interviews in Egypt, so yes, they do interviews as part of the hiring process. I think you're both rushing. It's important to study and adjust with time and within a person's natural adaptation process. My fiance took the subway all by himself the 2nd day he was here. I wanted to faint just by the thought, but that's what he wanted to do, so I got him a metro card and off he went. Everyday after that he went to the gym all by himself; he's in the gym right now! That little moment of independence worked wonders. It opened the door for him to explore more independence on his own. He found a mosque all by himself, I didn't even know existed and its right by our building! So the adaptation process is for me too. I need to learn to have room for independence within ourselves. We are drawn to lead the way because we live in the US and, of course, we want to help. All this said, he must understand he needs to follow the rules under this umbrella and not the umbrella of his former country. He must be open to learn, so the adaptation process is less painful if not seamless.

Good luck and I wish he finds a job real soon!

we live in the suburbs of Chicago, so it's little bit different ...no buses only one metra in the area; car is a must however, at this time with him not working yet we can not afford two cars; I take my car to work everyday; the suburbs are really quite with nothing much to do; my husband is coming up with house projects on his own lol; also, he is spending time studing for DL test:) which will be such a plus then he can at least take the car; also he is cooking and cleaning the house while i'm at work:)))

We did his resume and it looks great; he already has employers contacting him however, one problem is the AMerican English accents...he speaks english and understands it very well however, it might take time for him to get use to the AMERICAN accent and fast speach:)

I signed him up for some ESL courses that will start next month so hopefully it will help him.

[msheesha 548]

Whenever possible, he should meet in person with prospective employers. I've found that accents/communication difficulties are always worse on the phone than in person.

[nejma 3]

FYI, an International Drivers License isn't valid in Illinois. An out of country one is valid for 3 months,(if he has one from Egypt) but the standard "International" one that some states accept isn't accepted here.

http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/departments/drivers/drivers_license/dlfaq.html

I was also going to mention ESL classes, almost all of the Community Colleges offer them and they're often hosted at off campus locations such as libraries, high schools.

Does he go to a local mosque? That might be a good way to meet others. Maybe once he's driving, he can take you to and from work so he has a car during the day,go grocery shopping, etc.

There's lots to do in Chicago (and suburbs)

[habibi83 12]

FYI, an International Drivers License isn't valid in Illinois. An out of country one is valid for 3 months,(if he has one from Egypt) but the standard "International" one that some states accept isn't accepted here.

http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/departments/drivers/drivers_license/dlfaq.html

I was also going to mention ESL classes, almost all of the Community Colleges offer them and they're often hosted at off campus locations such as libraries, high schools.

Does he go to a local mosque? That might be a good way to meet others. Maybe once he's driving, he can take you to and from work so he has a car during the day,go grocery shopping, etc.

There's lots to do in Chicago (and suburbs)

we thought about all these things already:) my husband doesn't have international dl so im not too concern about it; yes he has been to the mosque here it's not too far from the house but still car is needed to get there (not a walking distance) so again i can only take him if i have a day off on fridays; Once he gets his license, things will get a lot easier because he can take me to work and have the car for a whole day to go to mosque, shopping and focus on going to the interviews! Getting a job is the second most important thing:)

...not much going out on one income and a mortgage payment:(

(i'm not trying to go bankrupt, he's the man... lol! )

[habibi83 12]

Whenever possible, he should meet in person with prospective employers. I've found that accents/communication difficulties are always worse on the phone than in person.

Thanks:)

[samer 1]

Its hard to start.... for me I am Jordanian and my wife is american we have moved from Jordan to America 6 months ago it was hard for me cause my wife is from Idaho American falls, it is a small town but when I came after one month I applied for a job and i got it as an assistant manager so it kept me busy.....

If your husband feels bored and he feels homesick or something he is more than welcome to talk to me cause I know it is hard....