HELP! COMPLETE change of personality.... :(

[Shenzhen 34]

Sounds like she has someone new she is spending time with.

[Shenzhen 34]

Thank you everyone for your prompt replies...

Out of all the replies yours I feel the most partial to. I've spent TOO MUCH on this girl, this is the 4th time in 2 yrs I've came to spend time with her, and obviously is HANDS DOWN the worst. From the entire time I've spent here, (since jan 6) you can almost count on 2 hands the # of days she's stayed with me. Not to mention that on my 2-year anniversary trip to Cebu, she left me there, along with all of her baggages and things in the hotel room, and absolutely FOOLISHLY paid P3300 (using her original return flight mind you for the next day should be) to rebook the flight. And NO she/her family dont have money either, so how stupid could she be to do that? Even a BAR GIRL wont do what she did.... i never physically hurt her, but this just goes to show you how PROUD and how ULTRA-STUBBORN a girl she is.... only reason why I didn't drop her right then and there is bec I'm a FIGHTER and have spent the most on her out of any girl i've been with and before this trip to Pinas everything was SO GOOD & we were even talking about marriage.... otherwise if she gave me ANY signs at all that this how she really is within the 1st few weeks (or even months!) of dating her i would've NEVER wasted any more time on her but.. it's diff. when you've lived together and done absolutely everything together as if husband/wife already but i've tried sooooo many things already and am near my end. Orando, that's why I'm thinking of coming here in early May ONLY IF i haven't already found a new one by then... bec she needs a DRASTIC CHANGE and 1 day she will realize that her actions were so wrong.

Btw, if anyone is in Metro-Manila (currently i'm in cubao) and wants to meet up with me in person to help me cope with this problem (or if you have a similar prob i'd love to talk to you). It would be much appreciated. Pls contact me on either of my #'s:

SMART: 0947.583.6992

GLOBE: 0906.260.3393

In psychology they have a name for this. I can't recall, but now you have devoted so much time and effort you can't let go now. We all know you should have let go along time ago. Anyhow your usually the last one to figure it out.

I was duped several times. Once bitten 2x shy but the 2nd time it takes much less time to learn your getting scammed. Good luck chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. IT SUCKS BELIEVE ME! But the sooner you get overthis the better.

[Shenzhen 34]

In psychology they have a name for this. I can't recall, but now you have devoted so much time and effort you can't let go now. We all know you should have let go along time ago. Anyhow your usually the last one to figure it out.

I was duped several times. Once bitten 2x shy but the 2nd time it takes much less time to learn your getting scammed. Good luck chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. IT SUCKS BELIEVE ME! But the sooner you get over this the better. I would say with out a doubt she has another man. The 2nd one I petitioned disappeared for a month 0 contact she showed up finally looking for money. Long story short she ended up pregnant.

[bestofboston 36]

Their are a lot of very good women in the Philippines that would be very happy to have you. Drop her and find a good woman.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

My friend there are red flags for everywhere in your relationship with this woman, what part of "the red flags" you didn't understand? . Run, do not walk!!

[Ayman___ 92]

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Everybody gets hurt. Sometimes a big hurt, sometimes a little hurt. But the person who's suffered a lot isn't especially strong. And the person who's been hurt a little isn't especially weak. What's important is being able to get over it Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you.Love yourself and read what you typed ...Many women will appreciate a good man to care for them.Your looking for years of misery.GOOD LUCK in your decision

[Courtney_Eddie 3]

I'm going to add my 2 cents, since everyone else is.

It's kind of hard for me to comprehend how you can be arguing all of the time and why she's being like this. Other people have mentioned that she could have a fella on the side, but for the sake not imagining the worst, we'll rule that out for now. You know, all of us are really learning the hard way "good things come to those who wait." I mean, whenever I get to see my fiance, I'm on top of the world. Our fiance's should make us feel like...like...everything is right in the world. Couples have their arguments, of course, but this just seems like too much. When you get to see each other, you should want to spend every waking moment together, since time on a visit is limited. It seems like she doesn't want that. Ask yourself, why this woman? What does she have that you can't find elsewhere. That you can't find in your own country? Having a fiance in a foreign country isn't ideal for any of us, so there must be something. I mean, your wife is going to be your life partner. Husband and wife, partners in crime, taking on the world by storm How can you do that when you're arguing every second. If your having these problems so early in the game, how are you going to get through anything else that comes along? It's great that you want to try to mend things, but sometimes they can't be fixed. Catch her at a time when she's calm and sit her down and ask her "why do you want to marry me?" and see what she says. I agree with everyone else who's saying "just pack up and go home" but no one knows your relationship better than you two. Someone already said before that you're answering your own questions. I think you know what the right answer is.

[Fishguy 1]

It is possible that she is just anxious about moving away from everything and everyone she has ever known. It is a big step for her. That said, I would proceed with caution. Without giving a hint of your possible future intentions if she doesn't straiten out, ask her if she's nervous, scared etc. If you find that she's just not sincere, or you're having second thoughts yourself, move on. It's really important to remember that the sponsor is taking on a HUGE responsibility. You are financially responsible for the person you sponsor, even if she dumps you after passing the two year probationary period. It is a part of the government contract you sign. It is also not a bad idea to do a prenup agreement. This will protect the sponsor from losing half of everything they own in the case that their "beloved" is not so sincere and decides to bail early. There is no shame in protecting yourself.

[Brian75 0]

I'm too tired to read the last two pages of this thread, so forgive me if I'm kicking a dead horse when I say...

I have been in a lot of relationships, foreign and domestic and I can tell you with great personal certainty that people do not "grow up" or mature very quickly when in a relationship. Its in the down time between relationships that the maturing is done. If a girl is walking all over you, break it off on the spot. That type of person has a long way to go before she will become the respectful person you expect her to be. If shes really hot, she might not get there until her beauty fades from age. Those really hot girls haven't had any down time since they were old enough to be dating and that is why they still act like they are the popular girl in Jr High.

Of course, being hot doesn't mean they are always immature, I'm just saying that if they are hot and immature, they won't be getting mature any time soon.

And as a general rule of thumb, once you have been with someone for a couple of years, the relationship better be stellar, because its really not going to get any better than it is at that point. Only in the movies.

George Carlin famously said (paraphrasing): Love is found in an easy relationship. If you have to work hard to be happy with someone, its not love.

[RickJovi 81]

Well said.. :star:

:thumbs:

Get rid of her before it is too late and you become a victim. There are millions of women in the Philippines that probably look better than her, brought up better than her and lack the attitude. Where is she from? The women in Dumaguete City, the City of Gentle People seem to be really nice. A coworkers nephew is married to one here in the U.S. and I can tell you she is a true Filipina and takes care of her husband and loves him even though he is a jerk at times. I am engaged to her sisters best friend and I have never been happier. I was used by a FIlipina on my first K1 and she left me after 10 months here in the U.S. She was from Zamboanga City and lived in Makati City, Manila. Stay away from the really big cities or you are asking for problems. Get over her, she is not worth the heartache and you can find one who truly respects and appreicates and doesn't put on a fake face. Best to meet people that are a referral and not from a dating site if possible. Good Luck.

Edited February 17, 2012 by RickJovi

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Get rid of her before it is too late and you become a victim. There are millions of women in the Philippines that probably look better than her, brought up better than her and lack the attitude. Where is she from? The women in Dumaguete City, the City of Gentle People seem to be really nice. A coworkers nephew is married to one here in the U.S. and I can tell you she is a true Filipina and takes care of her husband and loves him even though he is a jerk at times. I am engaged to her sisters best friend and I have never been happier. I was used by a FIlipina on my first K1 and she left me after 10 months here in the U.S. She was from Zamboanga City and lived in Makati City, Manila. Stay away from the really big cities or you are asking for problems. Get over her, she is not worth the heartache and you can find one who truly respects and appreicates and doesn't put on a fake face. Best to meet people that are a referral and not from a dating site if possible. Good Luck.

IOW, marry a 'simple girl'..a housemaid? My woman is from Manila, intelligent, articulate, funny, adventurous, with a degree, loving and caring. She told me right fromt the jump, 'I am not a simple girl and I am not a maid'...I said, 'perfect, I am looking for neither of those qualities in a woman'.....

[Brian75 0]

Agreed.

Big city girls are more likely to have big city expectations, and when you can't live up to them, you're in the dog house for the rest of the relationship, being punished for screwing up "her life".

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Hey Brian...can you elaborate?

Agreed.

Big city girls are more likely to have big city expectations, and when you can't live up to them, you're in the dog house for the rest of the relationship, being punished for screwing up "her life".

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Trying to figure out what, 'big city expectations' are, haha.

[Nikita2Charles 32]

Cut your losses it's not worth it, consider yourself lucky all of that is happening now rather than after you guys are married, maybe she's having second thought about the relationship and doesn't want to fess up, what else she has to do for you to get the hints. it's clearly written, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and GO HOME.