HELP! COMPLETE change of personality.... :(

[Joandjo 20]

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Anyway...... so needless to say, she doesn't have a copy of the I-129F i made for her.... and she also doesn't have the original receipts i brought.... im THINKING of coming back here in May 10 to surprise her in time for her bday later in the month and as a last resort to fix our relationship as by that time maybe i would already receive notification of NOA2...

i need to know what i should do with her complete copy of all the i-129 papers, and also the original receipts that she should bring to interview, if ever... should i leave them with a trusted person here? or should i bring everything back home with me and play the waiting game.... :/

i even took many pics of us in our few times we hungout together as "ongoing proof of relationship" as required by the NOA2, but didn't make any copies of anything.... including the hotel receipts. I just dont wanna waste EVERYTHING which is why im trying to utilize all my options esp. while im still here.

PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....

Take the advice the other guys that have married Filipinas, ask more of them, ask other Filipina ladies. If you move on it will sting for a while but the right person is there waiting for a husband that will be good to her. When you go to the PI to meet her, she won't let you out of her sight, why? Because she will want to check out what you are up to just as much as you (should) want to know what she is about. I met someone who was deceitful before I met my wife. I don't know how, but this lady is deceiving you and more will be revealed if you move forward with this situation.

That's my 2 cents worth. Off line me if you want.

[Enigma11561 336]

Sounds like you're spending way too much energy on a person that doesn't deserve it (or want it)

:thumbs:

[NoneYa 73]

Education is never free. Just saying.

My fiasco marriage cost me 4 times more than my college education but was 4 times more valauable as a life lesson. I don't wish what I went through on this guy. It only takes a screwed up significant other to send your life into a tail spin.

People still marry troubled people because "Love Is Blind".

[LSnBigBear 61]

Well it's really really quite sad bec before this trip, she NEVER acted as bad like this... running away multiple times, EASILY getting upset over the smallest issues & unwilling to communicate/sacrifice at all for our relationship... as i'm older, i try to help her and tell her what's right and wrong in issues but when i do, she doesn't wanna listen and keeps on trying to contradict my advise..... again, if i didn't spend so much time, money and effort on her i wouldn't even think twice but to leave her but that's not the case.... she's completely unwilling to even TALK things out as she's hiding from not only me but her own family!! but maybe, just maybe in May things will be different....

Okay I am going to be the jerk of this topic and think outloud as you seem to be a straight up honest and loyal person. IMO and many many many experiences in the Philippines, her actions appear to ME that she has something in her closet that needs to be cleaned or discarded.... IE and once again I am being the JERK here and brutally honest, SHE HAS ANOTHER MAN.... I can only say this thru what I have read and her actions ignoring her family along with what I noticed living there myself 5 plus years. And most likely it is a Filipino. Okay I have said and let the others beat me up for thinking outloud. I would not waste anytime on her. This just does not smell right. And thank God I start my new job next week so I have only evenings to give bad advice lol.... I wish you the best of luck. I wish I were there to have a SML and at least give you bad advice in person. One of many reasons I say she has someone else is I have a friend from UK that was married for 10 years only to have his wife act odd the past 3 years (they live in Phils). Just last month he intercepted txts and cornered her. She has been seeing her former BF from her island. She moved out and left most of her personal belongings. Broke my Mates heart. Money is not everything to some women. Their Age difference not that it matters was 33-34 years. He 66, she 32. I believe from my experiences that when they hide from family it is very deep they have done something wrong.... Sorry but sounds like you are getting your mind right and can take the brutality of my words. I hate to say it as a few bad apples seem to make a culture not look so good in forums etc. I still believe there are many more good Filipinas that those that end up taking up negative forums..

Good luck and drink a SML for me. Feel free to spit in it first if I offended you

Shawn

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

one post removed

please offer the op some meaningful advice rather than a random youtube.

[Adriene H 89]

Move on. There are 3 billion more to choose from. I suggest...http://www.city-of-brides.com/profiles/ukrainian-wives/hot-ukrainian-wives.shtml There are about 10,000 or so there to get you started.

No need to tolerate any nonsense. Seriously, don't be making up stories about getting kidnapped. Have a little diginity, move on.

Maybe 'snatched' is another word for getting hit on, flirted

with or something rather than kidnapped

[Adriene H 89]

Okay I am going to be the jerk of this topic and think outloud as you seem to be a straight up honest and loyal person. IMO and many many many experiences in the Philippines, her actions appear to ME that she has something in her closet that needs to be cleaned or discarded.... IE and once again I am being the JERK here and brutally honest, SHE HAS ANOTHER MAN.... I can only say this thru what I have read and her actions ignoring her family along with what I noticed living there myself 5 plus years. And most likely it is a Filipino. Okay I have said and let the others beat me up for thinking outloud. I would not waste anytime on her. This just does not smell right. And thank God I start my new job next week so I have only evenings to give bad advice lol.... I wish you the best of luck. I wish I were there to have a SML and at least give you bad advice in person. One of many reasons I say she has someone else is I have a friend from UK that was married for 10 years only to have his wife act odd the past 3 years (they live in Phils). Just last month he intercepted txts and cornered her. She has been seeing her former BF from her island. She moved out and left most of her personal belongings. Broke my Mates heart. Money is not everything to some women. Their Age difference not that it matters was 33-34 years. He 66, she 32. I believe from my experiences that when they hide from family it is very deep they have done something wrong.... Sorry but sounds like you are getting your mind right and can take the brutality of my words. I hate to say it as a few bad apples seem to make a culture not look so good in forums etc. I still believe there are many more good Filipinas that those that end up taking up negative forums..

Good luck and drink a SML for me. Feel free to spit in it first if I offended you

Shawn

I like the way you write. I don't think it's bad advice. I totally

respect people who say it like is without worrying about being

politically correct or sensitive. I would hope my best

friends would flat out say I'm being an idiot than trying to

gloss it over with sugary frosting when necessary.

[Carito_ 5]

I am very sorry to hear about your story, there is a lot of great advice here so at the risk of being redundant, here are my 2 cents... By what you wrote, it seems like you already know the answer... You know deep inside that this girl's heart is no longer in this relationship. I know it is scary because after all, this is the woman you had chosen to marry and spend the rest of your life with; it is overwhelming to think about the future, as you had made so many plans with her in it. I was in a similar situation and let me tell you: it does seem like she has another man. There are so many red flags here. I know it hurts and your heart is broken, but I give you my word YOU WILL BE FINE. After you heal from this heart break, this experience will help you to build a better and more mature relationship with someone that truly appreciates and loves you.

Don't think that just because you have invested all that money or time, you need to go through with it. Realize how you are feeling right now, if you continue in this relationship the feeling will be perpetual. If you move on, you will feel hurt for a bit, but you will start feeling better with time.

I don't agree that you should find someone right away, I think you need to heal and be with yourself for some time to complete the learning experience. Please move on, stop hurting yourself and start healing.

Best of luck!

[rozi 0]

If she acted like that now, that it's like she doesn't care, whats the use of continuing the process, its a waste of time, give your time for someone whose worth for your love and attention.

Sorry to hear about your experience.

i agreed with them totally.. if she doesnt care about ur love rght now.. dont be so sure she will care later on..

[Hank_ 9,174]

Still lots of good advice coming at you...

I think the comment about her having someone else is for sure a high possibility as I read the posts here.

Like said... stop trying to push water up hill!!

Life doesn't suck.... life just IS! Accept the reality move on and find happiness its out there waiting.

[andrea y arturo 14]

end it.

[Grant PDX 183]

Is the OP even still reading? Haven't seen him post for awhile.

If you are still reading, please take all the advice here and move on. Cut your losses. We are supportive of YOU, but not supportive of her behavior or of you continuing to chase a lost cause. There are women in the world who will treat you as well as you treat them. It's not that hard, especially in the Philippines.

Find one. Then post your success story! Can't wait to read it.

[Stu4Lee 66]

i even made up a story that i got snatched

I'm thinking of coming here in early May ONLY IF i haven't already found a new one by then...

Whatever is the girl thinking??

That she has a good headstart maybe??

[Brian121957 43]

Get away from her. There are a lot of nice women in the Philippines.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Sounds like you're spending way too much energy on a person that doesn't deserve it (or want it)

Second that. If you are making all the efforts and you are not even yet stateside, then I think you know what you want to do and you are asking only for re-assurance that your next step is the right one. You don't need approval from anyone here.