HELP! COMPLETE change of personality.... :(

[Leatherneck 693]

Move on. There are 3 billion more to choose from. I suggest...http://www.city-of-brides.com/profiles/ukrainian-wives/hot-ukrainian-wives.shtml There are about 10,000 or so there to get you started.

No need to tolerate any nonsense. Seriously, don't be making up stories about getting kidnapped. Have a little diginity, move on.

In the Philippines, she could be replaced before dinner. There are at least a few million Filipinas that wake up each day wishing they had a good man to love.

[CristiFur 15]

Move on! Get back and save your money and time.

Edited February 17, 2012 by CristiFur

[Darnell 8,478]

OP? Yer still in the PI, right?

wei - walk two blocks, sit at a cafe, have a longish meal where the ladies can see you. within a few hours - some one will stroll by, her eye for you..

[pushbrk 12,898]

In the Philippines, she could be replaced before dinner. There are at least a few million Filipinas that wake up each day wishing they had a good man to love.

Maybe but I'll put my money with Darnell, meaning DURING dinner rather than before. But you MIGHT be right. It COULD be accomplished DURING a long lunch. It's just about lunchtime in the PI now.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

OP? Yer still in the PI, right?

wei - walk two blocks, sit at a cafe, have a longish meal where the ladies can see you. within a few hours - some one will stroll by, her eye for you..

Excellent technique.

Hours? Should be a few minutes. If you order a coke and the coke gets to your table before a couple good looking women, then wait until it is warm, go to Kiev, Odessa, Kharkov, Donetsk, etc. and try again.

There are plenty of extremely attractive, very nice women in the world who would love to have a good husband and father for their children, go get one. Have her for dessert.

Edited February 17, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Leatherneck 693]

Maybe but I'll put my money with Darnell, meaning DURING dinner rather than before. But you MIGHT be right. It COULD be accomplished DURING a long lunch. It's just about lunchtime in the PI now.

Ok, I'll spilt it with...sometime between lunch and dinner, and her replacement is found.

[LSnBigBear 61]

Well this saddens me as it brings back some memories of myself as well as other friends as I have lived in the RP different times. I do not know your financee but all you have told is she is Self-Centered and Selfish etc. So ask yourself do you want to put up with this when there are so many women that would cheerish you? I have personally been scarred many times by women of Asia. And in their defense sometimes I was the wrong one too. But in your case since you are early on in this process I suggest as many for you to cancel. This process is stressful enough with two partners that love and cheerish eachother. When one is acting the way she is now then time from my experiences will not improve. I have many friends that have and are going through this process. One friend stopped his wife's allowance as she would not finish her medical and papers for Canada. She told him she was affraid and did not want to move. Honest but he wasted 16 months of marriage and waiting (I attended his wedding Sept 2010 in Cebu) and she still is not with him in Canada. He reduced her money down while "she figured everything out" then poof she had a change a heart adn wants to go. She then went MIA for 8 days (hmmmm). Now IMO is she coming to Canada for love or money? I would not want to be in his shoes either as he loves her and spent thousands of dollars on a nice wedding as well as now 4 trips to Cebu. All I can say is I made a lot of bad decisions, marrying an American Filipina, engaged to one and broke it off. Now my fiancee is picking up the pieces from my past hurts. She was patient with me for one year while I figured all this out whether I wanted to do this again. We seldom fight and in my heart I feel I finally found my true one is the conclusion of this story. Met many wrong ones before. I know you will meet your true love as you appear to be patient and a good man. As Darrell mentioned, you are now in the perfect position to find your true love. YOU ARE STILL IN PARADISE! And yes I slept alone many nights when I was heart broken in Cebu. It helps sort our mind out and think clearly. Good Luck. Matters of the heart like this are never easy.

[pushbrk 12,898]

Ok, I'll spilt it with...sometime between lunch and dinner, and her replacement is found.

I smell my lunch on the stove now. Just thinking hypothetically, if it was me, I'd need to go to another neighborhood more than a couple blocks away. My face with my wife is pretty familiar in this little Chinese neighborhood we're visiting right now.

To the OP, I hope you're taking these comments in good humor. We all understand you're in a tough spot. Be wise.

[Leatherneck 693]

OP? Yer still in the PI, right?

wei - walk two blocks, sit at a cafe, have a longish meal where the ladies can see you. within a few hours - some one will stroll by, her eye for you..

He might not even make it to the cafe or get to walk the full two blocks.

[Leatherneck 693]

I smell my lunch on the stove now. Just thinking hypothetically, if it was me, I'd need to go to another neighborhood more than a couple blocks away. My face with my wife is pretty familiar in this little Chinese neighborhood we're visiting right now.

To the OP, I hope you're taking these comments in good humor. We all understand you're in a tough spot. Be wise.

Enjoy the lunch and have a great trip!

[BughouseMaster 3]

I am sadden to hear this man, but it is very good that you deal with this behavior now, but that does not make it hurt or suck any less.

Yeah man, I would keep the papers, you can always ship them back if needed.

I would disagree slightly with some other posters, there is a chance that she can use this opportunity to mature into a woman suitable for marriage. She sounds young and immature with her behavior, not ready to be married, not ready to immigrate to another country, but we were all there at some point in time, young and immature, she needs to mature, maybe she will mature by your side, maybe she won't.

Thank you everyone for your prompt replies...

Out of all the replies yours I feel the most partial to. I've spent TOO MUCH on this girl, this is the 4th time in 2 yrs I've came to spend time with her, and obviously is HANDS DOWN the worst. From the entire time I've spent here, (since jan 6) you can almost count on 2 hands the # of days she's stayed with me. Not to mention that on my 2-year anniversary trip to Cebu, she left me there, along with all of her baggages and things in the hotel room, and absolutely FOOLISHLY paid P3300 (using her original return flight mind you for the next day should be) to rebook the flight. And NO she/her family dont have money either, so how stupid could she be to do that? Even a BAR GIRL wont do what she did.... i never physically hurt her, but this just goes to show you how PROUD and how ULTRA-STUBBORN a girl she is.... only reason why I didn't drop her right then and there is bec I'm a FIGHTER and have spent the most on her out of any girl i've been with and before this trip to Pinas everything was SO GOOD & we were even talking about marriage.... otherwise if she gave me ANY signs at all that this how she really is within the 1st few weeks (or even months!) of dating her i would've NEVER wasted any more time on her but.. it's diff. when you've lived together and done absolutely everything together as if husband/wife already but i've tried sooooo many things already and am near my end. Orando, that's why I'm thinking of coming here in early May ONLY IF i haven't already found a new one by then... bec she needs a DRASTIC CHANGE and 1 day she will realize that her actions were so wrong.

Btw, if anyone is in Metro-Manila (currently i'm in cubao) and wants to meet up with me in person to help me cope with this problem (or if you have a similar prob i'd love to talk to you). It would be much appreciated. Pls contact me on either of my #'s:

SMART: 0947.583.6992

GLOBE: 0906.260.3393

[InHisTime 110]

Hello ! I think she is not worth keeping. A relationship should be two-way. She may change for a while, but might go back to her old self. You have to be very careful -- what is really her intention of you ? Is it true love? Please get to know her better first before you finally decide to marry her. Thank God that you discovered her true self now than later. You will be fine -- MOVE ON ! Upon reading your concerns, she doesn't deserve your best love and efforts. I know it is painful-- it hurts, but -- in time you will find a good woman who truly deserves your loving and sincere heart. God loves you and I'm sure he has someone better for you. Have a safe flight back to the US and may God bless you!

[BughouseMaster 3]

Well this saddens me as it brings back some memories of myself as well as other friends as I have lived in the RP different times. I do not know your financee but all you have told is she is Self-Centered and Selfish etc. So ask yourself do you want to put up with this when there are so many women that would cheerish you? I have personally been scarred many times by women of Asia. And in their defense sometimes I was the wrong one too. But in your case since you are early on in this process I suggest as many for you to cancel. This process is stressful enough with two partners that love and cheerish eachother. When one is acting the way she is now then time from my experiences will not improve. I have many friends that have and are going through this process. One friend stopped his wife's allowance as she would not finish her medical and papers for Canada. She told him she was affraid and did not want to move. Honest but he wasted 16 months of marriage and waiting (I attended his wedding Sept 2010 in Cebu) and she still is not with him in Canada. He reduced her money down while "she figured everything out" then poof she had a change a heart adn wants to go. She then went MIA for 8 days (hmmmm). Now IMO is she coming to Canada for love or money? I would not want to be in his shoes either as he loves her and spent thousands of dollars on a nice wedding as well as now 4 trips to Cebu. All I can say is I made a lot of bad decisions, marrying an American Filipina, engaged to one and broke it off. Now my fiancee is picking up the pieces from my past hurts. She was patient with me for one year while I figured all this out whether I wanted to do this again. We seldom fight and in my heart I feel I finally found my true one is the conclusion of this story. Met many wrong ones before. I know you will meet your true love as you appear to be patient and a good man. As Darrell mentioned, you are now in the perfect position to find your true love. YOU ARE STILL IN PARADISE! And yes I slept alone many nights when I was heart broken in Cebu. It helps sort our mind out and think clearly. Good Luck. Matters of the heart like this are never easy.

Well it's really really quite sad bec before this trip, she NEVER acted as bad like this... running away multiple times, EASILY getting upset over the smallest issues & unwilling to communicate/sacrifice at all for our relationship... as i'm older, i try to help her and tell her what's right and wrong in issues but when i do, she doesn't wanna listen and keeps on trying to contradict my advise..... again, if i didn't spend so much time, money and effort on her i wouldn't even think twice but to leave her but that's not the case.... she's completely unwilling to even TALK things out as she's hiding from not only me but her own family!! but maybe, just maybe in May things will be different....

[C-ma'am 684]

Save yourself the pain and suffering, and put all that effort in someone who will appreciate it... regardless of nationality.

The behavior you describe, is one of a person who <sorry for this> Is not that into you.... as screwed up as this is (and sounds); if I were you, I wouldn't even waste a penny visiting her for her birthday, when she can't, evidently, appreciate YOU.

Love yourself, first and foremost

[rootbeer 0]

cancel the petition and move on while it's still early. don't wait till you have kids and get into divorce court and get police involved years down the road. things generally can only get worse after you get married so if this is how things are during the honeymoon period, what more later? there are A LOT of nice Filipinas around.