HELP! COMPLETE change of personality.... :(

[BughouseMaster 3]

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Anyway...... so needless to say, she doesn't have a copy of the I-129F i made for her.... and she also doesn't have the original receipts i brought.... im THINKING of coming back here in May 10 to surprise her in time for her bday later in the month and as a last resort to fix our relationship as by that time maybe i would already receive notification of NOA2...

i need to know what i should do with her complete copy of all the i-129 papers, and also the original receipts that she should bring to interview, if ever... should i leave them with a trusted person here? or should i bring everything back home with me and play the waiting game.... :/

i even took many pics of us in our few times we hungout together as "ongoing proof of relationship" as required by the NOA2, but didn't make any copies of anything.... including the hotel receipts. I just dont wanna waste EVERYTHING which is why im trying to utilize all my options esp. while im still here.

PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....

[together4evr 360]

If she wanted and appreciated you then you would never have to chase her... She would be available to you always. Give up and go home. Take all your papers with you.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Sorry for your troubles. Sometimes weird behavior is just about nerves, but sometimes it shows a lack of sincerity on the beneficiary's part. You might post this over on the PI sub-forum. Folks there might be able to give some advice in a cultural context, or from similar experience. Good luck.

[pushbrk 12,898]

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Anyway...... so needless to say, she doesn't have a copy of the I-129F i made for her.... and she also doesn't have the original receipts i brought.... im THINKING of coming back here in May 10 to surprise her in time for her bday later in the month and as a last resort to fix our relationship as by that time maybe i would already receive notification of NOA2...

i need to know what i should do with her complete copy of all the i-129 papers, and also the original receipts that she should bring to interview, if ever... should i leave them with a trusted person here? or should i bring everything back home with me and play the waiting game.... :/

i even took many pics of us in our few times we hungout together as "ongoing proof of relationship" as required by the NOA2, but didn't make any copies of anything.... including the hotel receipts. I just dont wanna waste EVERYTHING which is why im trying to utilize all my options esp. while im still here.

PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....

All indications are that you are an adult. My advise is to make an adult decision. Changing the location of papers is easily accomplished in a matter of days, if needed.

[mjkj 14]

If she acted like that now, that it's like she doesn't care, whats the use of continuing the process, its a waste of time, give your time for someone whose worth for your love and attention.

Sorry to hear about your experience.

[Tim/Mav 305]

If she wanted and appreciated you then you would never have to chase her... She would be available to you always. Give up and go home. Take all your papers with you.

Agreed. And Cancel the Petition if your hopes are to find a true Pinay.

[scott76 22]

Sounds like you're spending way too much energy on a person that doesn't deserve it (or want it)

[Leatherneck 693]

Do you think her behavior will improve or do a 180 after you marry her?

"...she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED."

You said it yourself, so Is that what you want in a wife?

[Conchale Vale 5]

RUN don't walk. This has nothing to do with culture, nerves nothing. What is your Age difference, how long have you actully been to gether in person, how did you meet? If the relationship is bad in the honeymoon period odds are it will not get better over time!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Anyway...... so needless to say, she doesn't have a copy of the I-129F i made for her.... and she also doesn't have the original receipts i brought.... im THINKING of coming back here in May 10 to surprise her in time for her bday later in the month and as a last resort to fix our relationship as by that time maybe i would already receive notification of NOA2...

i need to know what i should do with her complete copy of all the i-129 papers, and also the original receipts that she should bring to interview, if ever... should i leave them with a trusted person here? or should i bring everything back home with me and play the waiting game.... :/

i even took many pics of us in our few times we hungout together as "ongoing proof of relationship" as required by the NOA2, but didn't make any copies of anything.... including the hotel receipts. I just dont wanna waste EVERYTHING which is why im trying to utilize all my options esp. while im still here.

PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....

Move on. There are 3 billion more to choose from. I suggest...http://www.city-of-brides.com/profiles/ukrainian-wives/hot-ukrainian-wives.shtml There are about 10,000 or so there to get you started.

No need to tolerate any nonsense. Seriously, don't be making up stories about getting kidnapped. Have a little diginity, move on.

[normz-shane 7]

My advise is cancel the petition and find someone. You can easily find a new one / better one who will take care of you and treat you nice.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Move on. There are 3 billion more to choose from. I suggest...http://www.city-of-brides.com/profiles/ukrainian-wives/hot-ukrainian-wives.shtml There are about 10,000 or so there to get you started.

No need to tolerate any nonsense. Seriously, don't be making up stories about getting kidnapped. Have a little diginity, move on.

Good words Gary. The last 6 letters. Move On There are many women in the World and why put your time and effort into One that don't appreciate you.

[jen1217 5]

sorry to hear that but you mentioned that she is SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED now you can answer your own question, do you think her attitude will change just like that and do you want to live with someone who seems dont care for you at all? I am a Filipina too but reading her behavior shame on her,if meeting you for the first time and she thinks she dont like you or it will not work out she should have told you right away it's too unfair for you if she continue being like that, there are a lot Pinay's out there deserving of your love... move on buddy im sure you will find the right one. Good luck!

[Orando 57]

I am sadden to hear this man, but it is very good that you deal with this behavior now, but that does not make it hurt or suck any less.

Yeah man, I would keep the papers, you can always ship them back if needed.

I would disagree slightly with some other posters, there is a chance that she can use this opportunity to mature into a woman suitable for marriage. She sounds young and immature with her behavior, not ready to be married, not ready to immigrate to another country, but we were all there at some point in time, young and immature, she needs to mature, maybe she will mature by your side, maybe she won't.

[L+T 71]

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Anyway...... so needless to say, she doesn't have a copy of the I-129F i made for her.... and she also doesn't have the original receipts i brought.... im THINKING of coming back here in May 10 to surprise her in time for her bday later in the month and as a last resort to fix our relationship as by that time maybe i would already receive notification of NOA2...

i need to know what i should do with her complete copy of all the i-129 papers, and also the original receipts that she should bring to interview, if ever... should i leave them with a trusted person here? or should i bring everything back home with me and play the waiting game.... :/

i even took many pics of us in our few times we hungout together as "ongoing proof of relationship" as required by the NOA2, but didn't make any copies of anything.... including the hotel receipts. I just dont wanna waste EVERYTHING which is why im trying to utilize all my options esp. while im still here.

PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....

And here is how the story will end. You will be married. Things will be so bad, that you both think a baby will fix it. After the child is about 1.5 years old, she will be demeaning you in front of your child, calling you a loser. You will take expensive vacation to try and work things out, and leave the child with grandparents. During the vacation things are so bad, she is throwing things at you in the hotel room. Finally she calls security on you because you raise your voice and stick up for your self for the first time. Originally the security wants to remove you from the room, but after talking to both parties, they remove her. You can't sleep. You are up all night. in the morning you take first flight home and plea with the police for help. It is sunday, so the officer calls a judge and he issues you a 24 hour restraining order. The police pick her up on the way home and take her to hotel. The next day you meet in court. The judge orders a 1 year restraining order against her, and grants you custody of the child... The judge also awards her a retaliatory restraining order against you. After 2 months you are finally served to appear in probate court to answer her complaint... move out of the house, grant her custody, pay the mortgage, pay her child support, and pay her alimony, as well as her legal fees. Now it's time for a visit to the doctor for some Anxiety medication. The Department of Social Services is already all over your case based on the mandatory reporting of the police officer. She is granted a neglect charge from DSS based on interviews with the child's daycare. The probate awards her supervised visits. At the supervision center, she curses out the staff in front of the child... This is actually good because they call the police and permanently evict her from using the center. Finally a bit of relief the you may win custody of the child to protect him... Later you both meet with the court appointed GAL (guardian ad litem). She is so out of control in his office, he must notify her lawyer to appear with her next time to either witness her behavior or try to control her. After paying $325 a weel in alimony and receiving no child support you finally divorce, granting her 2 hours unsupervised visits just to make the deal go through. She uses these visits to continue to demean you and curse at you in front of the child.......................... best of luck to you!!