Wedding within 90 days?

[skiptex 225]

Please keep in mind that this is a major event in life. If you treat it like a fast-food dinner, then you are making a strong statement to its value in you life as well as the value of your beloved. I realize that civil ceremonies are popularly discussed here on VJ because of their ease, the tradition in the US is that if you have a quickie civil ceremony it is because there is something shameful about it--one of them is divorced, an unplanned pregnancy, an affair, or something that traditionally was not acceptable in society OR that you are military and there is a war.

unless Emintx is paying for your Marriage DAN70.. do it how you would like.. as long as you get the Legal Paper that says you are MARRIED.. you will be jus fine..

ooh.. EM is a female.. NOW HER STATEMENTS make sense..

ps.. thats a nice blog you have going on with your process.. best of luck!!

Edited February 8, 2012 by skiptex

[decocker 7,198]

And a marriage isn't defined by the wedding. It's defined by the love of the people involved, not society and certainly not you.

THIS!

also, just for my own personal satisfaction. i wasn't bragging about my wedding ceremony being cheap, i was providing an example of how the "cheapest, skankiest" ceremony is enough to satisfy the K1 visa requirements, if it occurs within the 90 day window.

good god -where to these people come from!?!

Edited February 8, 2012 by valerie78

[Operator 1,927]

THIS!

also, just for my own personal satisfaction. i wasn't bragging about my wedding ceremony being cheap, i was providing an example of how the "cheapest, skankiest" ceremony is enough to satisfy the K1 visa requirements, if it occurs within the 90 day window.

good god -where to these people come from!?!

Little towns with small minds that don't allow high school dances.

You know what else used to be more shameful than a divorce getting married?....an inter-racial marriage...imagine that?

[EminTX 131]

And a marriage isn't defined by the wedding. It's defined by the love of the people involved, not society and certainly not you.

Wow. I didn't realize that I had defined marriage anywhere here. Such hostility. Hhmmm...

Question to all you smart VJ members. If I bring my fiance it says I must have a wedding within 90 days, do I really have to do a wedding and a ceremony and spend all that money, or can I just get married in court without a ceremony, and If I do that will that be enough?

I tried in my replies to remind the OP that this is about him AND his fiance. I am concerned with "I really have to do a wedding", "I just get married" , "I do that". There is no mention of "we".

Again, please consider what your other half wants and then work together to do what is best to make this special day a memorable one. Good luck.

[skiptex 225]

Little towns with small minds that don't allow high school dances.

You know what else used to be more shameful than a divorce getting married?....an inter-racial marriage...imagine that?

when did THAT stop??..

:rofl:

[skiptex 225]

Wow. I didn't realize that I had defined marriage anywhere here. Such hostility. Hhmmm...

well you kind offended lots of people with your views on marriage ceremony in USA

[SweetheartSarah 3]

Question to all you smart VJ members. If I bring my fiance it says I must have a wedding within 90 days, do I really have to do a wedding and a ceremony and spend all that money, or can I just get married in court without a ceremony, and If I do that will that be enough?

Thanks all.

What we're going to do is a small courthouse ceremony, mostly to satisfy the legal requirements of marriage within the 90 days. After that, we will have a bigger ceremony and reception for the family and friends months after, so that we have time and money to spend on it properly, and make it the special day we want it to be! Since we'll already be married we don't need someone legally able to marry us, so we're using a good friend of ours to 'officiate' the wedding- saves money, and it's much more personal that way!

Good luck!

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Please keep in mind that this is a major event in life. If you treat it like a fast-food dinner, then you are making a strong statement to its value in you life as well as the value of your beloved.

My husband and I were married in fifteen minutes by a justice of the peace. This in NO WAY mean I do not value marriage, or that I do not value my husband. My relationship and my marriage holds just as much value as someone who spent tens of thousands of dollars on their ceremony. Your viewpoint is outdated and offensive.

I realize that civil ceremonies are popularly discussed here on VJ because of their ease, the tradition in the US is that if you have a quickie civil ceremony it is because there is something shameful about it--one of them is divorced, an unplanned pregnancy, an affair, or something that traditionally was not acceptable in society OR that you are military and there is a war.

Once again, outdated and offensive. A divorce is shameful? An unplanned pregnancy is shameful? No. These are common life events that happen. Judging someone on these facts is ridiculous. Who are YOU to say what's acceptable for other people? Live your life, mind your business, and get off your high horse.

We don't have the money or the time to plan a formal wedding, but you can bet your butt that I won't insult my spouse with a low-class legal "ceremony" that has nothing memorable about it whatsoever. (We'll be spending under 1000$ easy.) Low budget does not ever have to equal low-class.

How is it an insult? Why are your preferences about marriage ceremonies the way it has to be for every couple? I don't like weddings and I never wanted one. Had nothing to do with my visa. I didn't care about where it was, I cared about who I was there with. I can't believe how offensive you're being in this post with your attempts to put down all the couples who didn't do things your way.

Do something special. Really, it doesn't take that much effort. If you are too lazy to come up with your own idea, copy off someone on youtube or the internet.

For some people, just getting married to the person they love is special enough.

[Hank_ 9,174]

People should spend their time planning a great marriage instead of a wedding, The wedding is a moment in time, the marriage is forever... which is more important.

[skiptex 225]

People should spend their time planning a great marriage instead of a wedding, The wedding is a moment in time, the marriage is forever... which is more important.

thats what i am thinking.. my fiance wants to go to VEGAS.. i figure that will be like 15 min for ceremony...

i am looking forward to having a few days with friends and family in celebration our marriage!!

Edited February 8, 2012 by skiptex

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Some people believe that a wedding should be a modest affair - to highlight the commitment that is being made, not the amount of money spent to show-off. Weddings used to be more low-key, but now we have so much pressure with a whole industry telling us to coordinate the stationary with ribbons around the chair, and a whole television show about spending more money than you have for a ballroom gown. Women used to buy a practical wedding dress that they could wear again at other occasions.

My friend's grandmother eloped and got married in a small town somewhere in the southwest while they were driving around. That marriage lasted 50+ years and that couple was the foundation of a whole family for generations. She used to tell my friend about marriage, "It doesn't matter how it starts, it matters what you do with it."

What other people have done might not work for you, but you shouldn't belittle their precious memories and call it shameful or skanky: that attitude is atrocious. If you are going to be in an international marriage, you will have to learn to be more considerate of other people's opinions.

Edited February 8, 2012 by Harpa Timsah

[JnB 6]

Question to all you smart VJ members. If I bring my fiance it says I must have a wedding within 90 days, do I really have to do a wedding and a ceremony and spend all that money, or can I just get married in court without a ceremony, and If I do that will that be enough?

Thanks all.

YES. That will be enough. As long as you have the marriage certificate indicating that you two are married. A wedding ceremony itself doesn't show a bonafide relationship. If you two really have a bonafide and genuine relationship and love for each other then you two are the only one can decide what is best for you.

And yes I agree, marriage and wedding are completely different thing.

Good Luck and Have a Happy Married Life together. . LOVE is what matters.

[HannahP 119]

I was twenty and my husband twenty-one when we get married. I was struggling to make rent, food, and utilities and supporting him while working at WalMart as a cashier.

We would have gone into debt to have anything other than the bare bones wedding.

Five years later, we have two new cars, a house, and are finally planning to spend a few weeks in Europe as a belated honeymoon. All without that nasty wedding debt looming over us.

[KTandTommy 31]

What we're going to do is a small courthouse ceremony, mostly to satisfy the legal requirements of marriage within the 90 days. After that, we will have a bigger ceremony and reception for the family and friends months after, so that we have time and money to spend on it properly, and make it the special day we want it to be! Since we'll already be married we don't need someone legally able to marry us, so we're using a good friend of ours to 'officiate' the wedding- saves money, and it's much more personal that way!

Good luck!

We're going to be doing the same thing

Our plan is for me to go over within a few days of receiving the K1 Visa and get married, and we're planning our big wedding for May of 2013 (hoping that we've given it enough time!) The plan is that we'll already be married by then, legally, but have a few months together to plan our official "friends and family" celebration, which we will consider our actual anniversary (and that way, we won't be planning an entire huge wedding while I'm in a different country - we'll have the last little while together for all the final details to make it perfect!)

[KemalTuanaYalcin 16]

Question to all you smart VJ members. If I bring my fiance it says I must have a wedding within 90 days, do I really have to do a wedding and a ceremony and spend all that money, or can I just get married in court without a ceremony, and If I do that will that be enough?

Thanks all.

As long as it is a legal wedding/marriage however you choose to go about it is up to you. I have heard of many people doing just a civil ceremony initially to stay within guidelines then plan the more festive ceremony and reception for a later date wherein you both can plan together. I found it very difficult to try and plan a formal wedding and reception when there were so many uncertainties such as, date of arrival etc. Additionally, this would provide you with time to save money and too, if you'd ever want to do a honeymoon outside of the U.S this would afford you time to get the appropriate documents you would need in order to do so. However, as a word of advice. In that after the wedding you will have other steps in the immigration process to complete, having a few family members or close friends at the initial ceremony to serve as witnesses and to be included in pictures you may find helpful. So, even if you proceed with a simple civil ceremony or the like, I would try and include a few people important in your lives if for nothing more than support. Have fun and best wishes!