co-mingling as husband & wife

[ladyinred 0]

Hi VJ friends,

Good day/evening to all!!As i sit here in my computer with a big confusion in my mind and i kept asking myself last night why is that and why is this!!i will share my question and confusion and thank you so much in advance for those who has any idea on how to solve my problem:INPUT,COMMENTS,ADVICE ARE VERY WELCOME:

1.I talked to my husband the other day about having a co-mingling asset like joint tax,joint bank account,joint lease,house,anything that shows bonafide married.(WE NEED IT FOR THE GREEN CARD APPLICATION/RENEWAL AND REMOVING THE CONDITION IN THE FUTURE)

HE said that,He cannot put my name on the house because if he cannot pay the house i will have a bad credit record and it will ruin my chance in the future...is this true??the fact that he is making pretty good money and he has a stable job

He said He don't want to put my name in his checking account,(but he said he will pull out some cash on his checking account and apply for joint savings account.

HE said he cannot file for joint tax for both of us because the requirement is both partner are employed??

But LAST week he did put my name on his tax as dependant spouse and he got bunches of money than usually he gets from last time.From my understanding, ADD up my name as dependant spouse it doesnt mean it is joint tax

"NOW I AM confused i don't know what to feel last night,but i surely feel now after reading vj's threads that my husband does not trust me with his money & everything he has,well I do not demand for anything to Him i'm not that kind of woman"buy me this buy me that"i would love to work and make some money and not depend myself to Him.hmmmmmmmmm I DONT know i am glad the immigration required this stuff(co-mingling) so you will figure out if your partner is trusting you or not.

thank you in advance:

LADYINRED

[Inky 1,110]

He lied about the taxes - I have filed every year with my husband married joint and no job. You do not have to have a job to file married joint with him.

[Adriene H 89]

HE said he cannot file for joint tax for both of us because the requirement is both partner are employed??

I don't think this is true. I also don't think a spouse can be considered as a dependent.

Sorry I don't have more experience with your other concerns to offer advice.

Good Luck!

[SF2007 48]

Sorry you have trusting issues. If your husband does not feel comfortable with some things, you can consider other options. Your name on the house (or mortgage) is not mandatory but nice. I know some times to add a name, you would need to refinance which can be a hassle. You can share other joint property: car, furniture, etc. If he doesn't want you on his current checking account, you can create another one that's joint. As for filing taxes, you and your husband have the choice to either file jointly or separately : http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=105098,00.html

Among other proofs of a bona fide marriage, you can have both your names on utility bills, same address on driver's license, he adds you as a beneficiary on his health insurance, you are both insured on your car(s), etc.

I believe those are all decisions that should be discussed in a couple and not decided entirely 100% by one or the other, but that's me

[easyriders2011 14]

Hi VJ friends,

Good day/evening to all!!As i sit here in my computer with a big confusion in my mind and i kept asking myself last night why is that and why is this!!i will share my question and confusion and thank you so much in advance for those who has any idea on how to solve my problem:INPUT,COMMENTS,ADVICE ARE VERY WELCOME:

1.I talked to my husband the other day about having a co-mingling asset like joint tax,joint bank account,joint lease,house,anything that shows bonafide married.(WE NEED IT FOR THE GREEN CARD APPLICATION/RENEWAL AND REMOVING THE CONDITION IN THE FUTURE)

HE said that,He cannot put my name on the house because if he cannot pay the house i will have a bad credit record and it will ruin my chance in the future...is this true??the fact that he is making pretty good money and he has a stable job

He said He don't want to put my name in his checking account,(but he said he will pull out some cash on his checking account and apply for joint savings account.

HE said he cannot file for joint tax for both of us because the requirement is both partner are employed??

But LAST week he did put my name on his tax as dependant spouse and he got bunches of money than usually he gets from last time.From my understanding, ADD up my name as dependant spouse it doesnt mean it is joint tax

"NOW I AM confused i don't know what to feel last night,but i surely feel now after reading vj's threads that my husband does not trust me with his money & everything he has,well I do not demand for anything to Him i'm not that kind of woman"buy me this buy me that"i would love to work and make some money and not depend myself to Him.hmmmmmmmmm I DONT know i am glad the immigration required this stuff(co-mingling) so you will figure out if your partner is trusting you or not.

thank you in advance:

LADYINRED

LadyInRed,

Sorry to say but he is BS'ing you.

As far as the mortgage is concerned, that is difficult to do and costly. But there are plenty of other things he could be doing to show co-mingling of assets.

Has he put you on his work health insurance? put you as a beneficiary on his life insurance? car insurance? utility bills?

Is he in trouble with making his mortgage? if so, then perhaps he has a point about damaging your credit, but if he has had zero problems with making his payments, then he is just giving you that reason as an excuse. He needs to start building your own credit history with either a secured credit card (set limit based on a pre-deposited amount) or by adding you to one of his credit cards.

More likely he is trying to protect that asset as his in case you marriage doesn't work out in the future. That's somewhat understandable, but NOT very nice. If he owned the house before you got married, then it is his property anyways under community property laws. But if he is still making payments on it, AND even if you are not on the title, AND in a community property state, THEN any equity that is acquired during your marriage will be rightfully half yours.

He already is filing jointly if he is adding you to his tax return. This should be listed as a spouse, and your name should appear on the top of the 1040 and you will be requried to sign it on the bottom as well. If he isn't doing that, then he is taking serious advantage of you and you may need to start thinking about yourself.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE EMPLOYED TO FILE JOINTLY. YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED. He is lying to you or he is mistaken, but I doubt that he is mistaken, if he is using any vendor's automated software to file his taxes or if he is using a professional tax preparer.

Are you working?

If you are working, then you are required to file your own tax return if HE ISN'T FILING JOINTLY.

Did he file MARRIED BUT FILING SEPARATELY?

I doubt this, because he is including you as a dependent.

How long have you been married?

What is your husband's marital history?

Is this his first marriage?

Did he have a heated/contested prior divorce?

( this is the way he seems to be acting, but at this point you haven't provided enough background information to make a clear determination).

He can set up a separate bank account with a joint account witg you with out any problems even if he wanted to maintain a separate account. Some couples do this but it isn't the norm. Most couples establish joint accounts.

If I were you I wouldn't lose hope, or bail out, but I would try to do some research and then I would have a serious talk with him and point out the inconsistencies he is telling you with the truth that you are learning. NEVER take just one person's advise, but research that advise and verify its accuracy so you don't start a fight over inaccurate advise. But having said that, once you know your facts are true, it is time to confront him in a nice manner(if possible), and find out why he is so distrusting of you. He may have previous marital trust issues, or he could just be a jerk.

But if you don't have trust, and if he is not willing to address those lack of trust issues, then your marriage will very likely have further problems down the road. You will have to gage his reactions to your questions an make observations upon any changes he states he will make to improve.

He may very well be a great guy and just misguided, or insecure, and he needs to be given a course correction and he will be fine.

Or, he maybe unsure of your marriage and he is trying to limit any entanglements, financially and emotionally, and he is delaying to see where the wind blows.

Take my advise with a grain of salt, and do your own research, but at least you have started asking the right questions.

Good Luck.

Don

Edited February 7, 2012 by easyriders2011

[kcoyclay1 98]

He filed taxes under the status married filing jointly. There's no such thing as dependent spouse. There's a possibility that he could be ignorant of the facts or he is being cautious.

There are other ways to prove relationships such as you being on his health insurance or being his health care proxy. However, USCIS needs to see viable proof and assets are the best way. If he has a trust issue, he can always have you sign a post-nuptial agreement. Ask him what does he have in mind that can prove to immigration that your marriage is real and what would he do if immigration denied you adjustment based on his excuses/reasons.

While I can understand his concern - being newly married - he also has to think about how it will affect the marriage. Remember, we cannot judge him based on a 5 line report. Talk to him again about it

Edited February 7, 2012 by kcoyclay1

[ladyinred 0]

hello dear friends,

thank you so much for those answers,,i really appreciate it i REALLY do..SUCH AN EYE OPENNER:)

FIRST off i will tell more background about him so maybe somebody have more words to say:)

1.he is married 3 times,first married been together for 8 to 9 years and the reason of divorce is the woman has mental illness

2.second marriage the reason of divorce is that she is iresponsible to the family and the kids and she has so many stuff to do and her priority is not the family.(THEY GOT divorce and they had 2 kids teenagers boy and girl)they had an issue about trusting and money matter.she should pay him for the half of the property that they has base on the court and she promise to pay him monthly but she did not pay him til not,they got divorce sometime by 2009 between 2010.He has parttime costudy for the kids.(third marriage is me)

3.we got married last year,we been dating for 2 years or so before married.

4.he is making a good money he makse 1800(he has a good credit record) $ per week and he is the only one who handle the bills and evertying.the only thing he make me to handle is cleaning,cooking,washing his clothes and his kids stuff.the money matter is he is the only one who keeps it.

5.he do not want me to work.(i agreed about it before i came over here)

6.we agreeed that we will try to have our own kids in the future but on our interview last week for my gc he told the IO OFFICE no we dont plan to have a kid in the future i was like what the ;'F"WHY did he lied even though he knows that we both agreed.hmmm

7.From my understanding and feel now that he is very careful about trusting me about what he has wealth,money,etc.grrrr

which i understand but sounds not nice to me.

8.last week he kept me pushing to apply for the ssn so he said he will add my name as a dependant spouse,and he'll get more money than use to. i dont not understand this i told him that we need to file joint tax for my immigration stuff and he kept telling me no i cannot put ur name as joint tax coz you are not working..

GUYS,thank you so much for the comments. and i will keep searching about this answer like:)if I WILL figure that my hubby is just fooling me around and not trusting me i dunno i just being devastated today...i gotta talk to him after i get done searching ..thank you and god bless ya'll

Edited February 7, 2012 by ladyinred

[ladyinred 0]

hello dear friends,

thank you so much for those answers,,i really appreciate it i REALLY do..SUCH AN EYE OPENNER:)

FIRST off i will tell more background about him so maybe somebody have more words to say:)

1.he is married 3 times,first married been together for 8 to 9 years and the reason of divorce is the woman has mental illness

2.second marriage the reason of divorce is that she is iresponsible to the family and the kids and she has so many stuff to do and her priority is not the family.(THEY GOT divorce and they had 2 kids teenagers boy and girl)they had an issue about trusting and money matter.she should pay him for the half of the property that they has base on the court and she promise to pay him monthly but she did not pay him til not,they got divorce sometime by 2009 between 2010.He has parttime costudy for the kids.(third marriage is me)

3.we got married last year,we been dating for 2 years or so before married.

4.he is making a good money he makse 1800(he has a good credit record) $ per week and he is the only one who handle the bills and evertying.the only thing he make me to handle is cleaning,cooking,washing his clothes and his kids stuff.the money matter is he is the only one who keeps it.

5.he do not want me to work.(i agreed about it before i came over here)

6.we agreeed that we will try to have our own kids in the future but on our interview last week for my gc he told the IO OFFICEr "no" we dont plan to have a kid in the future i was like what the ;'F"WHY did he lied even though he knows that we both agreed.hmmm

7.From my understanding and feel now that he is very careful about trusting me about what he has money,etc.

which i understand but sounds not nice to me.

8.last week he kept me pushing to apply for the ssn so he said he will add my name as a dependant spouse,and he'll get more money than use to. i dont not understand this i told him that we need to file joint tax for my immigration stuff and he kept telling me no i cannot put ur name as joint tax coz you are not working..

9.yes he put me on his health insurance that was the idea from his mom (and i am not wrking right now.)coz he dont want me to.

GUYS,thank you so much for the comments. and i will keep searching about this answer like:)if I WILL figure that my hubby is just fooling me around and not trusting me i dunno i just being devastated today...i gotta talk to him after i get done searching ..thank you and god bless ya'll

Edited February 7, 2012 by ladyinred

[skiptex 225]

:blink: :blink:

[kcoyclay1 98]

hello dear friends,

thank you so much for those answers,,i really appreciate it i REALLY do..SUCH AN EYE OPENNER:)

FIRST off i will tell more background about him so maybe somebody have more words to say:)

1.he is married 3 times,first married been together for 8 to 9 years and the reason of divorce is the woman has mental illness

2.second marriage the reason of divorce is that she is iresponsible to the family and the kids and she has so many stuff to do and her priority is not the family.(THEY GOT divorce and they had 2 kids teenagers boy and girl)they had an issue about trusting and money matter.she should pay him for the half of the property that they has base on the court and she promise to pay him monthly but she did not pay him til not,they got divorce sometime by 2009 between 2010.He has parttime costudy for the kids.(third marriage is me)

3.we got married last year,we been dating for 2 years or so before married.

4.he is making a good money he makse 1800(he has a good credit record) $ per week and he is the only one who handle the bills and evertying.the only thing he make me to handle is cleaning,cooking,washing his clothes and his kids stuff.the money matter is he is the only one who keeps it.

5.he do not want me to work.(i agreed about it before i came over here)

6.we agreeed that we will try to have our own kids in the future but on our interview last week for my gc he told the IO OFFICE no we dont plan to have a kid in the future i was like what the ;'F"WHY did he lied even though he knows that we both agreed.hmmm

7.From my understanding and feel now that he is very careful about trusting me about what he has wealth,money,etc.grrrr

which i understand but sounds not nice to me.

8.last week he kept me pushing to apply for the ssn so he said he will add my name as a dependant spouse,and he'll get more money than use to. i dont not understand this i told him that we need to file joint tax for my immigration stuff and he kept telling me no i cannot put ur name as joint tax coz you are not working..

GUYS,thank you so much for the comments. and i will keep searching about this answer like:)if I WILL figure that my hubby is just fooling me around and not trusting me i dunno i just being devastated today...i gotta talk to him after i get done searching ..thank you and god bless ya'll

Okay. Now it's a bit clearer. Hubby wants helper, wife, mother for kids. You agreed not to work? Did you apply for an EAD card? That's a great way to control someone. He has trust issues. He told you he didn't file jointly but he did. No-one can file for another without a SS#. I can hear your distress and unhappiness. Even if he were a multi-millionaire, you need to have some form of income. It seems as if he's bitter from the past. I hope things change. All the best

[ladyinred 0]

Okay. Now it's a bit clearer. Hubby wants helper, wife, mother for kids. You agreed not to work? Did you apply for an EAD card? That's a great way to control someone. He has trust issues. He told you he didn't file jointly but he did. No-one can file for another without a SS#. I can hear your distress and unhappiness. Even if he were a multi-millionaire, you need to have some form of income. It seems as if he's bitter from the past. I hope things change. All the best

Hi,

THANK you so much for the reply.Yes I agreed not to work but when i get here he changed his mind he said economy is bad and i need to find a job,then he was reading some forums online about filipina run away after gets a green card then he stopped me from finding a job he said i can work thru homebase only and he dont want me to find a job in the field like targets etc...i AM very devastating OF his behaviour lately.

Last night i talked to him about the this co-mingling stuff and i am not even done asking about this joint tax he already got mad at me,i think that was defense mechanism so i wont ask him further question,i told him i am your wife and i have the right to ask about what is going on.i am just asking but not in hurry,so i just shut my mouth but i gotta tell him whats in my gut..i feel sad..but hope that he'll change.I keep searching more info maybe when due time i'll talk to him what is really bothers me.But for sure i want to have my own money,coz everytime i go out with filipina friends he always control me for whatever i buy.sometimes he gave me 50 or 100$( i got out once a month or once in two months) and he asked for the change and the receipt this is sounds funny but thats true,its just freaken unreal his not been that way when we were started dating:(

ladyinred.

LadyInRed,

Sorry to say but he is BS'ing you.

As far as the mortgage is concerned, that is difficult to do and costly. But there are plenty of other things he could be doing to show co-mingling of assets.

Has he put you on his work health insurance? put you as a beneficiary on his life insurance? car insurance? utility bills?

Is he in trouble with making his mortgage? if so, then perhaps he has a point about damaging your credit, but if he has had zero problems with making his payments, then he is just giving you that reason as an excuse. He needs to start building your own credit history with either a secured credit card (set limit based on a pre-deposited amount) or by adding you to one of his credit cards.

More likely he is trying to protect that asset as his in case you marriage doesn't work out in the future. That's somewhat understandable, but NOT very nice. If he owned the house before you got married, then it is his property anyways under community property laws. But if he is still making payments on it, AND even if you are not on the title, AND in a community property state, THEN any equity that is acquired during your marriage will be rightfully half yours.

He already is filing jointly if he is adding you to his tax return. This should be listed as a spouse, and your name should appear on the top of the 1040 and you will be requried to sign it on the bottom as well. If he isn't doing that, then he is taking serious advantage of you and you may need to start thinking about yourself.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE EMPLOYED TO FILE JOINTLY. YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED. He is lying to you or he is mistaken, but I doubt that he is mistaken, if he is using any vendor's automated software to file his taxes or if he is using a professional tax preparer.

Are you working?

If you are working, then you are required to file your own tax return if HE ISN'T FILING JOINTLY.

Did he file MARRIED BUT FILING SEPARATELY?

I doubt this, because he is including you as a dependent.

How long have you been married?

What is your husband's marital history?

Is this his first marriage?

Did he have a heated/contested prior divorce?

( this is the way he seems to be acting, but at this point you haven't provided enough background information to make a clear determination).

He can set up a separate bank account with a joint account witg you with out any problems even if he wanted to maintain a separate account. Some couples do this but it isn't the norm. Most couples establish joint accounts.

If I were you I wouldn't lose hope, or bail out, but I would try to do some research and then I would have a serious talk with him and point out the inconsistencies he is telling you with the truth that you are learning. NEVER take just one person's advise, but research that advise and verify its accuracy so you don't start a fight over inaccurate advise. But having said that, once you know your facts are true, it is time to confront him in a nice manner(if possible), and find out why he is so distrusting of you. He may have previous marital trust issues, or he could just be a jerk.

But if you don't have trust, and if he is not willing to address those lack of trust issues, then your marriage will very likely have further problems down the road. You will have to gage his reactions to your questions an make observations upon any changes he states he will make to improve.

He may very well be a great guy and just misguided, or insecure, and he needs to be given a course correction and he will be fine.

Or, he maybe unsure of your marriage and he is trying to limit any entanglements, financially and emotionally, and he is delaying to see where the wind blows.

Take my advise with a grain of salt, and do your own research, but at least you have started asking the right questions.

Good Luck.

Don

thank you for your post i really appreciate it..i realized many things lately,and you were right i will do a lot of research God Bless you and your family:)