Heartbroken :(

[andrea y arturo 14]

hmmmm dont see why he needs to talk and see her behind your back...sounds fishy

[Leatherneck 693]

The reason men fall into affairs is because they listen to their johnsons before their brains. Whose fault is that? Their own. Who could have made a smart decision? Them. Men (and women) with no self control are the ones who cheat. It's very sad that some people in this day and age don't have the power to just say "no" to their genitals.

I don't think a past history of foolish men should be the reason that you avoid friendships with good looking women. Are you not able to control yourself? It is your body, it doesn't control you.

I'm going to assume that you're a young woman in her 20's-or early 30's. No offense intended, but you sound a little naive about men. It's the nature of the beast for men to "...listen to their johnsons before their brains" especially for younger men who are more likely to surrender in that constant battle between doing the right thing (using the brain) and pleasing the flesh by listening to their "johnsons."

I specially point out "young men" because they have yet to learn how to balance between a healthy level of testosterone, fidelity and character. All men come equipped with a "johnson," testosterone and a brain, the difference between those that cheat and those that don't is simply...character.

It's way more complex than a simplistic "...they listen to their johnsons before their brains"

Attraction and affairs have and always will be a real potential when men (or a man) and women (or a woman) associate with each other, it was that way 500 hundred years ago and it'll be that way 500 hundred years from now. So when you say, "It's very sad that some people in this day and age don't have the power to just say "no" to their gentials." basic human nature has not changed.

[heartbrokenagain 0]

So I just asked him and he said that she texted him because she hurt her ankle and wanted his help (he is the medical related field). He called her and they met up at the gym so he could treat her... he did not tell me cause he thought I was going to flip out (even though I nicely asked him after we had that fight to let me know if she contacted him).......... I dont buy that sh*t. Maybe its true but AGAIN, the lies are there!

[Moomin 292]

Right, she hurt her ankle but could go to the gym to meet? Requires a bit less to stay at home, call doctor and set up an appointment, all in the comfort of own home.

Maybe offer to go with your husband and give her a phone number for a family doctor, a taxi company, and a dating site for singles.

Even if your husband isn't cheating on you, he sure is enjoying the attention he's getting. That attention comes with a wife being hurt.

[Leatherneck 693]

Then why be friends with them? We have our male buddies to talk to and hang out with. The only time a guy would be hanging with a girl is the hope he can bang her and/or her hot friend. No other reason. Companionship: get a dog, confidant should only be your wife, a female perspective: mom, aunt, cousin and/or sister.

Watch the video I posted on the first page EVERY guy said no they can't be friends and would definitely bang the "friend." Every girl admitted that yes their guy friends would jump at the chance to hit that and knew that the guys were attracted to them. I believe it is the women who are disillusioned and living in an idealistic fantasy world. Having plenty of buddies, from being married(twice) and having sister's, we know that most women enjoy the attention of male friends; even though they know that the guy is only hanging with them and buying them things and taking them out, because the guy has an ulterior motive.

Most times once a guy puts the move on or expresses his feeling and the girl has absolutely 0 interest in him, the friendship either fades away or he will keep plugging along hoping she changes her mind. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss!

Yeah, you're right and there's a major disconnect between some women and men when it comes to the issue of friendship, as evidenced by the young ladies in that video. Most guys settle for friendship because that's all they can get at the moment, but many put the hopes of getting a woman's (his friend) pants off on the layaway plan...as evidenced by the response from the young whipper snappers in the video.

Just recently a married Filipina female friend (so young and naive) of mine was telling me that her married co-worker (friend) was putting the move on her, she asked me, "why are guys like that...always looking to get some on the side?" I replied, "why do dogs bark or why do birds fly? Their supposed to." I got a bewildered look, so I explained it to her later.

Where is Tom Leykis when you need him!

[Ugly_American 11]

deffinately can be worked out. he has to come clean and you guys need to trust each other. she may just be a close friend, but because she is a woman he hides her to keep you from being jealous. ask if he needs her as a friend and then give him space. if he sees you trust him still then it will likely make him realize how much you love and trust him. you both need to communicate alot.

[Leatherneck 693]

So I just asked him and he said that she texted him because she hurt her ankle and wanted his help (he is the medical related field). He called her and they met up at the gym so he could treat her... he did not tell me cause he thought I was going to flip out (even though I nicely asked him after we had that fight to let me know if she contacted him).......... I dont buy that sh*t. Maybe its true but AGAIN, the lies are there!

If you really want to call him out on his behavior that very unbecoming of a married man, tell him that your friends are his friends and his friends are now your friends. You want to meet that lady and you expect him to introduce the two of you. In fact, the three of you should have lunch together, soon.

The expression on his face and his demeanor should be interesting if he feels you have out maneuvered him and put him in the corner.

[brandonbeth 2]

a lot of men have difficulties letting their exes be part of the past. They feel the urge to keep in touch, and because they don't want to hurt anyone, they lie about it or trivialize the issue.

there is truth in this.

[Laure&Colin 558]

So I just asked him and he said that she texted him because she hurt her ankle and wanted his help (he is the medical related field). He called her and they met up at the gym so he could treat her... he did not tell me cause he thought I was going to flip out (even though I nicely asked him after we had that fight to let me know if she contacted him).......... I dont buy that sh*t. Maybe its true but AGAIN, the lies are there!

It doesn't make any sense to me. She hurt her ankle so they decide to meet at the GYM?? #######?

You should really have an in depth conversation with him. He's not being honest.

[God fearing 13]

1328602450[/url]' post='5143798']

I would call her. Say hey.

I bet if you two started hanging out he would be totally turned off by her texts

Yeh call her but wait till your interview is over and approved

[kytwell 179]

It doesn't make any sense to me. She hurt her ankle so they decide to meet at the GYM?? #######?

He was just being a friend. Gyms have sturdy tables and benches for ankle therapy. I've heard many times in this thread from women that men and women can be friends. In fact I bet she has lots of male friends willing to meet her anywhere at anytime. The poor girl hurt her ankle, this guy being a renowned expert in ankle injuries and one of her many best male friends offered to assist her while he was at the gym after hours, getting his swell on. Seems innocent enough to me, I mean even if the OP met this girl, he'd still have done this. I mean come on they're just friends and he's one of THE rarest finds and can be just friends with a smoking hot, sexy woman with no alternative agenda at all.

Put yourself in the OP's husband's shoes. Suppose your a masseuse who was lounging around in your bikini all day and the hottest of your many, bestest male friends was having upper thigh and lower abdominal, uh, spasms...wouldn't you offer to go straight to his house and remove his clothes so you could rub him the right way, while his gf or wife isn't there?

Disclaimer: The above statement is dripping in sarcasm.

OP you know what's going on. My advice: run, don't walk away.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I've always felt more comfortable in the company of men rather than women. So much so that the majority of my close friends are male. Have I slept with some of them? Yes -- BEFORE we moved to the friend zone. I dated some of them, but for whatever reason it didn't work out. They stick around because they enjoy my friendship and, dare I say it, companionship. Those I haven't dated have never professed any desire to steal me away from my man.

When I met my boyfriend, I explained to him that I have a significant number of exes as good friends, and he was just going to have to deal with it if he wanted to date me. He couldn't see why it would be a problem if there was only friendship involved, nor could he ever "forbid" me to see anyone. We're both grown ups, we love and trust each other, so why make an issue of it?

In fact I have a weekly "date" with one of my best guy friends that I always look forward to. If my boyfriend tried to stop me, he'd be in for the high jump.

[SunnySanDiego 17]

The difference is that you were up front with your BF. The posters BF has been lying and sneaking behind her back.

[Fandango 1,440]

IMO, when there's doubt, there's no doubt.

[rlogan 2,036]

He's lying to both of you. The lie to his "friend" was not admitting he was marrying you. That won't be the only lie he has told to her. Manipulators keep their victims from talking to each other so the victims can't compare notes and catch them in their lies. So remember that he isn't just keeping you from talking to her: he is keeping her from talking to you as well. Who knows what he's telling her about you, but it is to manipulate her into getting what he wants.

One of the cruelist things manipulators do is blame the victim. He says he isn't being honest with you because you will be upset. So he blames his lies on you. That is an additional lie, but one that is especially demonstrative of how dirty he is fighting. He cannot be trusted to tell you the truth. You have a lot of options to establish what the truth is.

I'm inclined in this case to say call the girl with straightforward honest intentions and friendly tone: you have every right to tell her exactly what is going on: the husband is concealing whatever their relationship is and it is hurting you. Don't be demanding and accusatory - Approach more as a friend, not as an enemy. If there is nothing going on, speaking with a husband's circle of friends is nothing out of the ordinary. You'd call them for a recipe or directions to a store they know about, or whatever. It is only because of your husbands actions that such a call from you could be interpreted as a threat to her.

But you can bank on your husband having told this woman about how volatile and unreasonable you are, so it is going to be a surprise to her how calm and reasonable you sound, which is going to help a great deal in getting to the bottom of this. She is going to respect you for it if she has any scruples at all, and if she doesn't you will find out soon enough. I am betting though that both of you will come to an understanding of how manipulative he has been to both of you. All his power has rested upon keeping the two of you apart. When that power has been removed, you just watch this guy go from Mr. Calm and Arrogant to Mr. Something Else.

You don't reason with a manipulator. You give them choices. Those choices have to be enforceable. Never make empty threats. If you aren't prepared to follow through, don't say it. But don't waste your breath arguing, pleading, or trying to convince them. Set the condition and shut up. No matter how much effort they put into trying to wear you down - the conversation is closed. The only thing a manipulator understands is consequences.