Father's permission for child to emigrate

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I am just beginning the process of applying for a K1 visa to bring my Ukrainian fiancee to the U.S. to marry. My fiancee has a child from a previous marriage, and of course I want to bring him to the U.S. also, on a K2 visa. However, my fiance fears that the biological father will refuse to give permission for the children to emigrate. The son lives with his mother, away from the father for 6 years now, the father has had NO contact at all with his son for over a year (the son is 8), he pays his child support (such a low amount, it's amazing!) sporadically, and is remarried with another child from his current wife. My fiancee reports that the legal system protects fathers, even if they have no contact with the child, and that she will not be able to get the court to grant her full custody. So my question is; are there other options available to me? Does anyone know how difficult it is in Ukraine for a mother to get full legal custody from the courts? And what exactly does the consular officer need to see at the interview in order to grant a K2 for a child? I would be soooo grateful for any advice or information!

Ukraine is very specific and very strict about this. Advice form other ocuntries is not usually applicable to Ukraine. We also had two sons that came with Alla.

1. Get this done NOW, before you file the petition

2. You need (MUST HAVE) a letter from the father specifically allowing the mother to take the child to THE UNITED STATES for PERMANENT RESIDENCY. No other wording is accepted. The letter must ne notarized and you must include a copy of the father's passport photo and signature page. No exceptions UNLESS you have a court order allowing her this and it is highly unlikely you would geta court order.

3. The letter should also state that it allows her to leaave Ukraine to the UNITED STATES with the children on future visits. You WILL need this letter each time you leave Ukraine until the children are age 16 or older. NO EXCEPTIONS Even AFTER they become US Residents with green cards.

4. Bribery usually works. Pay him for his signature. Fortunately bribes come pretty cheap in Ukraine. If he owes back child support then offer to trade him his back child support and all future support in return for his signature. Have an attorney prepare the letter ands the court order relieving him of child support. have them both go and sign at the same time.

the sooner you do this the easier it is. As soon as he knows she is leaving he will develop an interst in his child, you will be amazed. The more desparately you need his signature (closer to the interview) the more it will cost you.

I strongly recommend you DO NOT proceed with the visa process for your fiancee until this is settled. No woman in her right mind will leave her child behind and if that hurdle is not cleared firstit WILL be a problem down the road.

Ahh, a very interesting approach, I never thought of that. Hope the fiancee has the guts to try the bluff, though, and it would, in the end, be just a bluff for her. Thanks for the info!!

I would never recommend such a thing. This is a child, not a parrot. Do it right or DO NOT do it at all, I am not joking, this would be a major problem for you and your relationship

the RUB's are very proud people

Rightfully so!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Usually the threat of child support or the bribe of waiving child support plus some monetary consideration has been successful.

I would suggest you put off all visa plans UNTIL you have his notarized signature on a paper; without it, the child will not be allowed to leave. Period.

If they don't show up, find and contact Gary and Alla who posts in this forum; they have real life experience.

Thank you Phil. Phil is another man whose process was affected by a child, though somewhat differently and he knows as well as I that kids are number ONE. Do not ever make your fiancee feel her childwould not be included. The kid goes first!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I agree with Baron. This has been covered by several RUB members (I think Baron might be one), and Gary actually paid off the stepdad, if I recall.

Traded for child support actually. Child support we would never have received anyway.

Look around at the other threads in the RUB forum; Gary is everywhere. Look for the photo of the hot Ukraine lady; Gary's photo is not allowed!

Rightfully so!

[XMen1 0]

This is extremely helpful to me.

Thank you.

She was pursuing sole custody, but it seems highly unlikely.

It also seems sole custody is not enough anyway.

Thanks.

[spectec 12]

Gary and Alla have given you excellent advice on this as they did for me. Follow their instruction and get it done before you send the I-129F. I didn't and almost didn't get the letter from the father. It will result in a very bad feeling after you are approved and you don't have it. Forget court. Bribe or threaten back child support. If your inlaw agrees you are trying to give the child a better life then maybe she can persuade him some to do the right thing. This method ultimately worked for me. Good luck.

[visaveteran1 33]

Thank you Phil. Phil is another man whose process was affected by a child, though somewhat differently and he knows as well as I that kids are number ONE. Do not ever make your fiancee feel her childwould not be included. The kid goes first!

Hell, I know Russian women who won't leave their cat behind!

[baron555 934]

Gary and Alla have given you excellent advice on this as they did for me. Follow their instruction and get it done before you send the I-129F. I didn't and almost didn't get the letter from the father. It will result in a very bad feeling after you are approved and you don't have it. Forget court. Bribe or threaten back child support. If your inlaw agrees you are trying to give the child a better life then maybe she can persuade him some to do the right thing. This method ultimately worked for me. Good luck.

Follow Gary's advice to the letter......meaning, you need two letters I believe. Good luck....and yes the children's welfare are number one and you wrapping your arms around that and taking a leadership role will go far in your relationship with your future wife. Trust us, you will be so Golden. Then have your heart checked; it will get a workout.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hell, I know Russian women who won't leave their cat behind!

Yeah...Alla! Who also brought a cat and a dog! Tney are easier and do not require parent permission, just a rabies shot.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Follow Gary's advice to the letter......meaning, you need two letters I believe. Good luck....and yes the children's welfare are number one and you wrapping your arms around that and taking a leadership role will go far in your relationship with your future wife. Trust us, you will be so Golden. Then have your heart checked; it will get a workout.

we did it with ONE letter which listed both boys. However, Sergey was over 16 when we got the visas so technically he did not need the letter. Either will work, but if you use one letter, make sure it specifically lists BOTH children and their birthdates and address. It must be very specific for the children.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

This is extremely helpful to me.

Thank you.

She was pursuing sole custody, but it seems highly unlikely.

It also seems sole custody is not enough anyway.

Thanks.

The court order of sole custody would also have to specifically allow her to relocate the children to the USA, permanently. That ain't happening unless the father is some sort of dangerous criminal. Ukraine is very protective of father's rights. Until a few years ago your fiancee would have needed a letter of permission fromhim to enroll them in school, go to the doctor, or any other parental duty. Alla has a letter her mother obtained which is a "certificate of no father" as her father was not listed on her birth certificate and her mother needed this to do anything for her own daughter. (USSR) They stil lhave such a letter, though the need is not the same.

Be aware that in Ukraine, like here, there are attorneys that will TELL you they can get the court order, for a fee of course. They can't. Better to give the money to the father and pay him off.

These rules are not set by the Kiev consulate, they are Ukrainian (or international) laws and the US is not going to be involved in "kidnapping" so you have to do what is required by Ukraine law and it is a pretty strict one.

[AmericanRi 0]

Ukraine is very specific and very strict about this. Advice form other ocuntries is not usually applicable to Ukraine. We also had two sons that came with Alla.

1. Get this done NOW, before you file the petition

2. You need (MUST HAVE) a letter from the father specifically allowing the mother to take the child to THE UNITED STATES for PERMANENT RESIDENCY. No other wording is accepted. The letter must ne notarized and you must include a copy of the father's passport photo and signature page. No exceptions UNLESS you have a court order allowing her this and it is highly unlikely you would geta court order.

3. The letter should also state that it allows her to leaave Ukraine to the UNITED STATES with the children on future visits. You WILL need this letter each time you leave Ukraine until the children are age 16 or older. NO EXCEPTIONS Even AFTER they become US Residents with green cards.

4. Bribery usually works. Pay him for his signature. Fortunately bribes come pretty cheap in Ukraine. If he owes back child support then offer to trade him his back child support and all future support in return for his signature. Have an attorney prepare the letter ands the court order relieving him of child support. have them both go and sign at the same time.

the sooner you do this the easier it is. As soon as he knows she is leaving he will develop an interst in his child, you will be amazed. The more desparately you need his signature (closer to the interview) the more it will cost you.

I strongly recommend you DO NOT proceed with the visa process for your fiancee until this is settled. No woman in her right mind will leave her child behind and if that hurdle is not cleared firstit WILL be a problem down the road.

I would never recommend such a thing. This is a child, not a parrot. Do it right or DO NOT do it at all, I am not joking, this would be a major problem for you and your relationship

Rightfully so!

Outstanding, thank you so much. Time to put the app on hold and pull out the wallet.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Outstanding, thank you so much. Time to put the app on hold and pull out the wallet.

FWIW and I am supremely ####### retentive about anything which could harm children, we actually did up FOUR letters. One allowing permanent residency in the United States, one allowing indefinite furure travel to Russia, one for Turkey and one to "European Union" countries. When you go through passport control in Ukraine with a child you need this permission letter to allow you toleave to the specific country you are going to. We also travel to Russia, Turkey (great beaches) and planned on EU countries but never did and now they are citizens and do not need the letter(due to age) and do not need visas for EU countries anymore...

Since this can be an adversarial negotiation, it is best to get all you can up front and not have to go back for another bite of that apple.

The problem with children is that unscrupulous people will use them as a very powerful nuclear weapon against you and you will be royally screwed. You just need to negotiate that once and get it over with.

[mox 298]

Three words: MONEY MONEY MONEY. Even the worst SOB will take money unless they're truly crazy. The question is what is the magic number?

This is an incredibly bad idea, no matter the price. It's insulting and humiliating to the father, and it treats the child like a commodity that can be bought and sold. Even worse, it's going to have to be explained to the child someday.

As Gary says, do it right, or don't do it. Don't play games with the father or the child.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

This is an incredibly bad idea, no matter the price. It's insulting and humiliating to the father, and it treats the child like a commodity that can be bought and sold. Even worse, it's going to have to be explained to the child someday.

As Gary says, do it right, or don't do it. Don't play games with the father or the child.

Actually, we used money. Specifically, relieving him of child support obligations. I have also specifically suggested the OP use money

what I object to is "bluffing". "If you don't sign this I will leave the kids with you and go" You better be prepared to follow through on that and I don't think most women will. Any woman that WOULD is not suitable wife material in my opinion. Any woman that would leave behind the children she birthed for the guy she met online 3 months ago is a whack job...RUN!

[mox 298]

Actually, we used money. Specifically, relieving him of child support obligations. I have also specifically suggested the OP use money

what I object to is "bluffing". "If you don't sign this I will leave the kids with you and go" You better be prepared to follow through on that and I don't think most women will. Any woman that WOULD is not suitable wife material in my opinion. Any woman that would leave behind the children she birthed for the guy she met online 3 months ago is a whack job...RUN!

The only real situation I could see this being a viable option in, is if the father is nothing more than a sperm donor, and he brings it up first. Otherwise, it's despicable.