WANT A DIVORCE

[american Girl 2]

Yes, take a breath and take your time..... see what happens first before you contact the NVC..... you have time on your side now...

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now and my prayers are with you....

Thank you please keep me in your prayers. I'm just waiting on God right now. I know that he will work everything out. Its just so hard when you really love that special person and you think you have your soul mate and then the lies comes out. But everything will be ok.

[evoria 19]

Hello VJers.. Well me and my suppose to be husband case has closed with nVC. First let me start off by saying last week he told me that he was going to his home town for a 3yr old grandfather death celebration for a week unexpectly and told me the day before he was leaving. And said that he had to take a week off his job for that. But today I found out that he didn't tell me that he was on vacation. He told me this evening he was working when he called me. I just happen to call his employment and they told me that he has been on leave since January. So now I'm trying to call his phone and he's not picking up the phone. So I'm really suspecting that he's with someone in his country right now. And I feel very sad and like a misused fool. So I'm thinking on monday calling nVC and tell them to cancel my paperwork. I don't think I can stomach him coming to my country and making a better life for himself and his family and mistress back over in Ghana off my merit. He has just shown me that he is a big liar and he can not be trusted. So I am planning on going back to his country and divorcing him ASAP. Can someone tell on how I can handle the divorce situation?? tell me what you all think about this. Bringing him over and having the agreement with the government is a bit much for me.

Divorce is such a big step. I agree with others take your time. I wish I knew where he was I would go and investigate for you. I am not above it. I hate liars.

[american Girl 2]

Divorce is such a big step. I agree with others take your time. I wish I knew where he was I would go and investigate for you. I am not above it. I hate liars.

Hi Evoria you are right divorce is a big step and I really don't want to go thru it, but I'm just thinking about him coming here with me how will things be will he still be telling lies. So I'm in a rock and a hard place right now. I just can not believe this is really happening with us being so close. I'm just wondering is this my sign for God to find out now and leave him in his own country.

[american Girl 2]

Divorce is such a big step. I agree with others take your time. I wish I knew where he was I would go and investigate for you. I am not above it. I hate liars.

yes I wish you could investigate him to for me.

[wife2be. 7]

I feel so bad because i have sent him all my important documents over and he just received them last week to prepare him for his interview. My tax transcripts very important information. but hopefully he cannot do anything with them. I'm just very hurt right now i cannot believe this is happening, but I rather find out now then to bring him over and I have issues then. thanks for every1 response.

BE VERY SURE HES CHEATING BEFORE U MAKE HASTY DECISIONS.A SIMILAR THING HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND.UNKNOWN TO HER.HER HUSBAND IN GHANA .HAD LOST HIS PHONE AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL.SWEETHEART I KNOW I HURTS BUT PLEASE BE VERY SURE I MEAN 100 PERCENT SURE HES CHEATING BEFORE U TAKE ANY STEP.ALL THE BEST

yes I wish you could investigate him to for me.

THIS IS REALLY NONE OF MY BUSSINESS BUT I HATE LIARS TOO I CANT STAND THEM.ESP IF U ARE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP U NEED TO BE WITH A VERY HONEST AND GOD FEARING PERSON.I HOPE HES NOT A BLOODY LIAR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG THIS INFURIATES ME.SO SORRY

[thinkerlove0212 158]

<br />UPDATE: he finally called me back last nite, but his story didn't add up. So I called his job and the guy that answer the phone was very helpful he told me that he was on leave. So when I spoke to the husband he stated he was not on vacation. He was just busted. but I didn't let him know that i knew he was vacation. I asked him to mailed my package back he stated he would put it in the mail. Then I asked him to let me speak to one of his collegue at work but he couldn't do that. He was just full of ####### last nite. I'm very confused at this point, but I know that something is not right and he's doing something that is not right. But sister is telling me that I just can't go divorcing him because of that because a man will be a man so I will always be divorcing. So I'm really just hurt and confused right now don't know what to do even though I know he has lied to me and not being honest. I really love my husband alot but I don't know if I can go on with these lies. What's ur opinion????<br />

<br /><br /><br />

If i am your shoes, i definitely divorce him, You still lucky because you found out his true colors at early time rather than found out late. In the relation there is three important words, trust, honesty and love. only love left to you for him right now, he already broke up the trust in you. It takes time to gain trust. But its up to you what is your decision, just feel your heart. i feel sad about what happen to your marriage.

Take care and God bless you.

[Sapphire Moon 25]

I'm so sorry you are going through this

[Adriene H 89]

UPDATE: he finally called me back last nite, but his story didn't add up. So I called his job and the guy that answer the phone was very helpful he told me that he was on leave. So when I spoke to the husband he stated he was not on vacation. He was just busted. but I didn't let him know that i knew he was vacation. I asked him to mailed my package back he stated he would put it in the mail. Then I asked him to let me speak to one of his collegue at work but he couldn't do that. He was just full of ####### last nite. I'm very confused at this point, but I know that something is not right and he's doing something that is not right. But sister is telling me that I just can't go divorcing him because of that because a man will be a man so I will always be divorcing. So I'm really just hurt and confused right now don't know what to do even though I know he has lied to me and not being honest. I really love my husband alot but I don't know if I can go on with these lies. What's ur opinion????

Men will be men ... true that. And there are men that won't lie to you.

You deserve a good man

[kmer 1]

hi,

first at all calm down and wait until he pick up his phone. may be something happen who knows?

second, have you trust in your husband? because is sounds like ,you never do.

thirdly, in marriage no one never know what will happen so never take active decision

god luck for you and your husband stop thinking bad

that's my point.

[sadman 1]

you wll just live in pain.my visa has refused but am not thinking of leaving my wife.yes sometimes we have a hardtimes and we fought but we fix things and we talk.i hope you get a solution . My prayers are for you .

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If he is the type of man that plays around on the excuse of work or family troubles he will not change. He feels that it is his right and he is used to dealing with stupid women that enable him in that. Living that life is not something any human should even think of enduring. You as a woman deserve a man that loves you and wouldn't even think of leaving you worried about him being dead in a ditch or bring home sexually transmitted issues ( the type of man isn't covering up his thing when he is dipping it in strange holes ) Run as fast as you can and make sure to slam the door right in his face. Do the rest of us a favor and report him to USCIS as a green card scammer so that he doesn't make it here on the back of some less observant woman.

[Orando 57]

Hi: Is there a difference between leave and vacation at his job? At my job, leave usually means medical leave, disability leave, maternity leave, paternity leave, etc. Vacation is a separate type of being away from work. His job says he was on leave, he says he was not on "vacation", so maybe in his mind he does not think he is lying to you about that. This may be semantics and much to about nothing with what I am saying. Just saying, there may be something up at his job, they are telling you he is on leave, for all of January it appears, is that normal for his job to take leave for a month? There may be the possibility that there is something happening with his job that he does not want to tell you about. His job could be telling you he is on leave and not really telling you what is up, the fact that the job would discuss his work situation with you would cause me not to trust the associate at his job. If he was having an affair, you would think he would come up with a better lie, or he is just a bad liar and good thing you caught this red flag now. Has he taken this kind of leave before, if he does have a mistress, you may have observed some hints of this behavior before if you all have been together for a while? Just a thought, I do not know your situation or what you are going through. Orando

[bdawn 66]

Hello VJers.. Well me and my suppose to be husband case has closed with nVC. First let me start off by saying last week he told me that he was going to his home town for a 3yr old grandfather death celebration for a week unexpectly and told me the day before he was leaving. And said that he had to take a week off his job for that. But today I found out that he didn't tell me that he was on vacation. He told me this evening he was working when he called me. I just happen to call his employment and they told me that he has been on leave since January. So now I'm trying to call his phone and he's not picking up the phone. So I'm really suspecting that he's with someone in his country right now. And I feel very sad and like a misused fool. So I'm thinking on monday calling nVC and tell them to cancel my paperwork. I don't think I can stomach him coming to my country and making a better life for himself and his family and mistress back over in Ghana off my merit. He has just shown me that he is a big liar and he can not be trusted. So I am planning on going back to his country and divorcing him ASAP. Can someone tell on how I can handle the divorce situation?? tell me what you all think about this. Bringing him over and having the agreement with the government is a bit much for me.

Bottomline is, while there are many 'marriage-in-good-faith' through long-distance relationships, there are also a bunch of 'greencard-based' marriages. You're the only one who can tell as to whether or not he's trying to use you to get to the States. You have to be sensitive to your heart and feelings. That's the way God leads us. Whether or not you feel secured with him is for you to judge. Come hell or high water nobody knows anybody's head. God allows certain circumstances to help us make decisions. I will tell the truth even at the point of a breaking engagement than to lie and run a definite risk of marital disharmony so if my partner lies to me, it's a big deal. It will be more painful to bring him over only to realize your suspicion was right that he has a Mrs back home. You can ignore your heart, reasoning, and feelings and move on with him. But, whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

[american Girl 2]

Hi: Is there a difference between leave and vacation at his job? At my job, leave usually means medical leave, disability leave, maternity leave, paternity leave, etc. Vacation is a separate type of being away from work. His job says he was on leave, he says he was not on "vacation", so maybe in his mind he does not think he is lying to you about that. This may be semantics and much to about nothing with what I am saying. Just saying, there may be something up at his job, they are telling you he is on leave, for all of January it appears, is that normal for his job to take leave for a month? There may be the possibility that there is something happening with his job that he does not want to tell you about. His job could be telling you he is on leave and not really telling you what is up, the fact that the job would discuss his work situation with you would cause me not to trust the associate at his job. If he was having an affair, you would think he would come up with a better lie, or he is just a bad liar and good thing you caught this red flag now. Has he taken this kind of leave before, if he does have a mistress, you may have observed some hints of this behavior before if you all have been together for a while? Just a thought, I do not know your situation or what you are going through. Orando

Hello yes at his job they take a month off for vacation every year. but he told me about a month ago maybe that the managers would have to tell them on when they could take there vacation time starting this year. So when i called his job last nite one of his coworkers told me that he was on leave as they say since jan and want return until March. We have been talking for almost 2 yrs now. I've been over there 2 times. and he is a bad liar. He can not tell a good lie. when I was in his country I caught him in a lie and he confessed and told the truth. so i an always tell when he's lieing he's not a professional!! he start stumbling over his words... but when I was with him he showed me the best time, he was very sweet,gentle and caring. He never made feel like he was really hiding something when I was there and each time i stayed about 16days. i really enjoyed myself with him. this behavior here that he protrayed last nite was just out of character he has never done this before so I don't know what is going on. but i definely feel that he was with some1 last nite. because he always take my phone call or he will immediately call me back. but something was just different last nite. So today i'm a little calmer then last nite so i will talk with him today when calls me back. I think i will let him know that I know that he is on vacation or leave or what ever they call it over there.

[american Girl 2]

Bottomline is, while there are many 'marriage-in-good-faith' through long-distance relationships, there are also a bunch of 'greencard-based' marriages. You're the only one who can tell as to whether or not he's trying to use you to get to the States. You have to be sensitive to your heart and feelings. That's the way God leads us. Whether or not you feel secured with him is for you to judge. Come hell or high water nobody knows anybody's head. God allows certain circumstances to help us make decisions. I will tell the truth even at the point of a breaking engagement than to lie and run a definite risk of marital disharmony so if my partner lies to me, it's a big deal. It will be more painful to bring him over only to realize your suspicion was right that he has a Mrs back home. You can ignore your heart, reasoning, and feelings and move on with him. But, whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

I feel secured with him when we are together and when we are not, but last nite was the bomber. I feel deep down that he loves me, but who knows about people they will show you one thing and do another. I'm worried about if he does come here and getting settle and situated what then. and if he does have a Mrs back home I'm wondering where or what was she doing while I was there with him. hmmmm could he just be trying to get here on my merit to bring her later?????? that's a good question...then i will be really be pissed. its a gamble in a relationship you never no how its going to play out.