WANT A DIVORCE

[american Girl 2]

Hello VJers.. Well me and my suppose to be husband case has closed with nVC. First let me start off by saying last week he told me that he was going to his home town for a 3yr old grandfather death celebration for a week unexpectly and told me the day before he was leaving. And said that he had to take a week off his job for that. But today I found out that he didn't tell me that he was on vacation. He told me this evening he was working when he called me. I just happen to call his employment and they told me that he has been on leave since January. So now I'm trying to call his phone and he's not picking up the phone. So I'm really suspecting that he's with someone in his country right now. And I feel very sad and like a misused fool. So I'm thinking on monday calling nVC and tell them to cancel my paperwork. I don't think I can stomach him coming to my country and making a better life for himself and his family and mistress back over in Ghana off my merit. He has just shown me that he is a big liar and he can not be trusted. So I am planning on going back to his country and divorcing him ASAP. Can someone tell on how I can handle the divorce situation?? tell me what you all think about this. Bringing him over and having the agreement with the government is a bit much for me.

[pushbrk 12,910]

Hello VJers.. Well me and my suppose to be husband case has closed with nVC. First let me start off by saying last week he told me that he was going to his home town for a 3yr old grandfather death celebration for a week unexpectly and told me the day before he was leaving. And said that he had to take a week off his job for that. But today I found out that he didn't tell me that he was on vacation. He told me this evening he was working when he called me. I just happen to call his employment and they told me that he has been on leave since January. So now I'm trying to call his phone and he's not picking up the phone. So I'm really suspecting that he's with someone in his country right now. And I feel very sad and like a misused fool. So I'm thinking on monday calling nVC and tell them to cancel my paperwork. I don't think I can stomach him coming to my country and making a better life for himself and his family and mistress back over in Ghana off my merit. He has just shown me that he is a big liar and he can not be trusted. So I am planning on going back to his country and divorcing him ASAP. Can someone tell on how I can handle the divorce situation?? tell me what you all think about this. Bringing him over and having the agreement with the government is a bit much for me.

You do not need to divorce him in his country. You can divorce from the USA. You might want to give this a little time but when ready, simply contact a family lawyer here for how to obtain a divorce from a foreign resident where YOU live.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Well, if you are thinking about DIV, then don't bring him over. You can divorce him here in the US, you do not need to fly half around the world to get a divorce.

[GVMack 9]

Awe, I`m sorry your going through this.

I can understand your pain. I don`t think you should have to spend all that money to go over to his Country to file for divorce. Its also a good idea call NVC as soon as you can and let them know before it goes any further.

Hopefully you won`t be on the hook for him in the long run.

[american Girl 2]

You do not need to divorce him in his country. You can divorce from the USA. You might want to give this a little time but when ready, simply contact a family lawyer here for how to obtain a divorce from a foreign resident where YOU live.

thanks for that information. I thought I had to go back to his country and divorce him.

[american Girl 2]

thanks for that information. I thought I had to go back to his country and divorce him.

I feel so bad because i have sent him all my important documents over and he just received them last week to prepare him for his interview. My tax transcripts very important information. but hopefully he cannot do anything with them. I'm just very hurt right now i cannot believe this is happening, but I rather find out now then to bring him over and I have issues then. thanks for every1 response.

[pushbrk 12,910]

Awe, I`m sorry your going through this.

I can understand your pain. I don`t think you should have to spend all that money to go over to his Country to file for divorce. Its also a good idea call NVC as soon as you can and let them know before it goes any further.

Hopefully you won`t be on the hook for him in the long run.

There is no rush to contact NVC. If the last package has not been sent, nothing is moving forward. If it HAS been sent, she can contact he Immigrant Visa Unit in Accra, before the interview. With the backlog, that still allows several months to be certain her suspicions are true and that her decision is final.

[God fearing 13]

I feel so bad because i have sent him all my important documents over and he just received them last week to prepare him for his interview. My tax transcripts very important information. but hopefully he cannot do anything with them. I'm just very hurt right now i cannot believe this is happening, but I rather find out now then to bring him over and I have issues then. thanks for every1 response.

I think you need to breath and wait. Don't just jump to conclusions as you don't know where he is! Be smooth...ask questions and get him to mail back your stuff first before you just cut him off!

[Rob n Tess 5]

I think you need to breath and wait. Don't just jump to conclusions as you don't know where he is! Be smooth...ask questions and get him to mail back your stuff first before you just cut him off!

Yes, take a breath and take your time..... see what happens first before you contact the NVC..... you have time on your side now...

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now and my prayers are with you....

[rgfox 10]

Don't listen to relationship advice, including mine! Listen to your heart and common sense. He lied to you about where he was and that is a no-no in my book. People who lie well are super-smooth, you have to be a freaking psychologist to tell. So he might be able to convince you that there is a reasonable explanation- like he was working from home, and then his phone battery died. Don't believe any of that BS! The idea of getting him to mail your stuff back might tip him off. Hopefully you made copies? Don't feel stupid about falling for a creep- look at Dexter's sister.

[tony'sgirl 0]

I'm so sorry

[together4evr 360]

I m very angry at him too! How dare he lie and deceive and not tell his wife where he is truly going!!

But, do NOT ever PULL those papers until you have time to discuss this in person. You will have time before the interview to pull your 864 and without it he cannot sponsor himself so he will not come to you.

Give this some time please. Do not act out of hurt or anger. Talk with him and see if his answers or good enough. I do not think they would be for me but he might have good reasons and he deserves to have you hear them

Good Luck

[american Girl 2]

UPDATE: he finally called me back last nite, but his story didn't add up. So I called his job and the guy that answer the phone was very helpful he told me that he was on leave. So when I spoke to the husband he stated he was not on vacation. He was just busted. but I didn't let him know that i knew he was vacation. I asked him to mailed my package back he stated he would put it in the mail. Then I asked him to let me speak to one of his collegue at work but he couldn't do that. He was just full of ####### last nite. I'm very confused at this point, but I know that something is not right and he's doing something that is not right. But sister is telling me that I just can't go divorcing him because of that because a man will be a man so I will always be divorcing. So I'm really just hurt and confused right now don't know what to do even though I know he has lied to me and not being honest. I really love my husband alot but I don't know if I can go on with these lies. What's ur opinion????

[mike411 15]

Your sister is stupid, so don't listen to her. Listen to yourself! If you don't believe him and don't think you can live with his lies, then cut him off before it's too late.

After you receive your package. Call him and tell him you don't believe him. Get to the truth! Tell him this marriage is not going to work if he is not honest with you.

I personally would drop him because of the web of lies. I don't even care what the real reason was or what he did on his vacation. Without trust there is no relationship.

[Moomin 292]

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. it's hard to solve issues through a phone.

I don't know how you normally communicate. If it's normal within your relationship that he isn't answering his phone like now, then be careful putting too much into that combines with the rest. If it's out of the ordinary, that's about the time I'd start reacting regardless of the situation. Some guys are not great with talking about being burnt out and drained. I'm far from defending your husband but I think the last thing you need is someone telling you how the situation is when we don't know your unique relationship other than what you've told.

Being and staying loyal is that one feature I admire most in people, and what made my heart and still continues to make my heart want to be with my husband. The minute he stops being honest is the minute he chose to push me away. I understand that your husband might need some time(guy time whatever it's called) but had it been my husband, it would be stretching the truth to say one thing and later on changing the story. That's to me hurting someone on purpose and no-one deserves that in a marriage.

It's easy for me to say(and echo other members) that you have enough time to pull the affidavit of support when it's right now you need answers but you're not going to get the answers you need by just putting a stop to the petition, at least not right now. He probably already knows something is off by you asking to speak to his co-worker. Take some time to calm down. If possible, then skype with him to get reactions other than just on a phone if that's too hard on you.