I feel so embarassed and hurt

[GVMack 9]

Thank you very much for your answers and support, it really means a lot to me to know that I can get some honest thoughts and great advice from the VJ community. Again Thank you!

At this piont all I can do is Pray, wait, wait and wait patiently.

[suganspyce42 5]

Hi everyone, first let me tell you how embarrassed I am to be in this situation and post it up like this.

I'm very upset, hurt and confused.

I thought finally we can finally process out paperwork.

My husband and I have been married since April 2011.(I thought until December)

We're ready to process our immigration papers when I asked him for his divorce decree.

So here he is looking for it and could not find it.

I then asked him to just call his ex and maybe she has a copy.

He says they've been divorced since 1996.

He finally gets a hold of her and asks her for a copy.

She tells him she did not get one.

She now tells him that she called and spoke to someone at the court house she worked at.

They said that the judge did sign on the divorce, but it has not yet been processed.

So what the heck, now what? Then she says to him, you know what this means right, you'll have to remarry.

She knew all this time, and I am the FOOL.

She told him that it is now being processed and that he will be getting the divorce certificate in the mail. (How the hell long does that take??)

Umm, so this means that we ARE NOT married and he is still married to her then correct?

I live in Canada, I already changed my legal documents and passport with my married last name in June.

(because I got the marriage certificate from California)

Why would they issue us a marriage certificate if he is already married?

Don't they look into things like this???

My question now is what do we do now, obviously we are not married.

We now have to wait for his divorce, then file K1?

How to explain this to the immigration people???

How can he trust her so much, to not follow up is beyond me.

I feel like my heart has been pulled outta my chest.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd wake up to this!

Any answers would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance!

Hello, I am not sure how all of this happened because when I married my husband in Malaysia in August 2011, we had to show proof by providing a single status document from our emabassy. I am so sorry to hear of this but I think this matter needs to be investigated deeply. I was married the first time in 1997 and filed for my divorce in March of 2002 and it was granted in May of 2002. I know that rules and regulations depend on the city, state, and country, however it shouldn't take years for a divorce to finalize.

[Dan and Judy 614]

I think she is just pulling his chain. He can probably go to the courthouse and get the divorce record in one day.

[Tyeger87 10]

Hi everyone, first let me tell you how embarrassed I am to be in this situation and post it up like this.

I'm very upset, hurt and confused.

I thought finally we can finally process out paperwork.

My husband and I have been married since April 2011.(I thought until December)

We're ready to process our immigration papers when I asked him for his divorce decree.

So here he is looking for it and could not find it.

I then asked him to just call his ex and maybe she has a copy.

He says they've been divorced since 1996.

He finally gets a hold of her and asks her for a copy.

She tells him she did not get one.

She now tells him that she called and spoke to someone at the court house she worked at.

They said that the judge did sign on the divorce, but it has not yet been processed.

So what the heck, now what? Then she says to him, you know what this means right, you'll have to remarry.

She knew all this time, and I am the FOOL.

She told him that it is now being processed and that he will be getting the divorce certificate in the mail. (How the hell long does that take??)

Umm, so this means that we ARE NOT married and he is still married to her then correct?

I live in Canada, I already changed my legal documents and passport with my married last name in June.

(because I got the marriage certificate from California)

Why would they issue us a marriage certificate if he is already married?

Don't they look into things like this???

My question now is what do we do now, obviously we are not married.

We now have to wait for his divorce, then file K1?

How to explain this to the immigration people???

How can he trust her so much, to not follow up is beyond me.

I feel like my heart has been pulled outta my chest.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd wake up to this!

Any answers would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance!

technically, if the judge signed the final judgment and decree of divorce then it is finalized. call the court with the case number to make sure the decree has been filed with court and request a certified copy.

[Love's JAA 100]

I just ordered two certified copies of my divorce decree from the court clerk in the county i divorced in. I need for the I-129f as well as for the Catholic Church investigation so I can be cleared to marry in the Church. I didn't even bother to call my ex about that - she doesn't need to know my business. I did however already have a non-certified copy in my possession. It just seems strange that your husband would not have been more on top of that. I know I was sure eager to have a copy of the signed judgement in my hand! As expensive as it all was, the freedom I got was priceless! LOL Anyway, the cost from my court was $2 for the first page and $.50/page after that and a $6 certification fee. I mailed in the request and I had it back in less than a week.

[Darnell 8,478]

can your husband get into the county clerk's office on Monday, and ask for a certified copy of the divorce decree?

IMO, that'd either remove all this silliness (cause he'd see the document, so would you) or the clerk would mention it's not finalized yet.

I'm sorry, don't take his ex at her word, on this one .

[GVMack 9]

Good evening, I agree with all of you.

I've already shown my anger and frustrations and maybe even went a lil out of line, but I was hurt.

I too would want to have the decree in my hands to know that its finally over.

From what I gathered, you can't just phone and request a copy of the decree. He will just have to go to Los Angeles County Record center and try to look it up.

Yes the fee is reasonable.

[easyriders2011 14]

You can try to call them using the numbers provided below: Their online link is broken (you might tell them that too when you talk to them).

Copies of court documents - including orders regarding dissolutions of marriage and judgments of dissolutions, probate, wills, name changes, criminal and civil cases - are available at a district headquarters courthouse in which the matter was handled, or if it is an older record at the Los Angeles County Superior Court Archives. Check at a district headquarters courthouse - see "Superior Courts" for a listing of the district courts or go to lasuperiorcourt.org to determine where the file is stored. (No phone orders will be accepted).

Some post-1999 civil case documents may be online at http://lasuperiorcourt.org/Online/CivilImages.

For the Central District Court, you may visit or write the certification section in Rm. 112 at the Stanley Mosk Courthouse, 111 N. Hill St., Los Angeles or call (213) 974-5191 for information. (No phone orders will be accepted.)

To order documents from the Archives requires having a case number, names of the parties and what document you want copied. If you have the names of the parties and the year the case was filed, but no case number, and it was filed in 1965 or earlier, you may request the case number by calling the civil index clerk at (213) 974-1378. If the case was filed after 1965, call the civil index clerk at (213) 974-5171.

--Purchase case document copies in person at the Archives, 222 N. Hill St., Los Angeles, between 8:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. weekdays, except holidays. Phone (213) 974-5191.

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_I_obtain_a_certified_copy_of_a_divorce_decree_from_Los_Angeles_Superior_Court#ixzz1kpAr9OVN

[GVMack 9]

Hey members, thank you for your replies and suggestions.

This past week I found out that my marriage is not valid unless we file a motion to get his divorce back dated.

(Our marriage may not be valid right now but in our hearts we are and we still honour our vows that we took)

Here's a recap:

My husbands ex told him that she would file for divorce(because she worked in the court house)

She files in 2007.

In 2008 she told him that the divorce was final.

April 4 2011 we get married.

Sept 2011 she finds out we are married.

Oct 2011 she files for something.

Nov 2011 My husband asked her why he never got a divorce decree.

She tells him that she did not get one either. But not to worry because she has taken care of it.(obviously referring to Oct 2011)Thats when the last activity was on the case.

She then tells him that the judge did sign for the divorce.

And now she is asking the courts to send him a decree.

At this piont I am upset and believe she's lying about the divorce being done.

Feb 2012 Finally get the case number and look up to see whats up

I see that there is NO judgement!!!

I told my husband, if she worked for a judge at the time don't you think this would be done right from the beginning?

Anyone can do a divorce themselves and have the right mind to finish up the process. I did!

And why would you have it sit for 4 years is beyond me. Especially if you've had relationships after and a kid with someone else other than your husband. During all this she is still NOT divorced!

That's not even right.

All this time he thought he was divorced (I still blame him for not following up)

I know he would not marry me if he was married to someone else. Plus they've been separated since 1996!

I've been so mad and upset for the past few days I just want to explode!

And I knew there was no point in fighting with him about it because I know deep inside he was angry too.

Now we will just have to hire a Lawyer to help us with this.

I did my own divorce a couple of years ago, and I did EVERYTHING that I needed to do to make sure I did it correct and finished the process no problem. I got my decree

And it didn't cost me much.

After all this is over, we can finally apply for CR1...another stress...

I just want to be with my hubby.

Once again everyone thank you for your input, bless you all!

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

That is what my ex had done. He had to claim that he thought we were divorced. it cost a bit of money but might be less money than getting remarried and all.

[Love's JAA 100]

That is what my ex had done. He had to claim that he thought we were divorced. it cost a bit of money but might be less money than getting remarried and all.

So I guess he's been filing single tax returns, while he's been married all of these years.

Are there any other ramifications, like since they aren't actually divorced, are there any possible claims against him, as a result of his still being married?

It's important to know whether you are indeed divorced or not. Something seems not right, it just doesn't compute that he goes by what his wife told him regarding the outcome of a significant legal matter.