Talk about things now, not later. Dont point fingers!

[m&her 0]

Thanks for sharing !!

[RickJovi 81]

Please learn how to separate paragraphs with double spaces.

What does that have to do with the topic. Either stick to the topic or don't reply at at.

[rlogan 2,036]

What about test-driving that Filipina unit?

I'm in the minority by meeting overseas and then going back to live with her and her family for three months before we started the visa process. You can be anyone you want on the internet, but there's no substitute for that 24/7 test-drive. Know her family.

Most of these Fil-Am relationships are shameless dirty old Americanos with shameless dirty young Filipinas. If you want a teen wife then expect teen behavior. The man is going to bear the brunt of checking his emotions and being the rock of stability and maturity. Don't be impatient with her because you learned it thirty years ago. Sometimes you have to let her make the same mistakes you made.

Filipinas are just as hardy as any other human at fifty below zero. If she's too stupid or stubborn to wear warm clothes then she is a defective unit and you'll have to exchange her for a better model.

[Orando 57]

What about test-driving that Filipina unit?

I'm in the minority by meeting overseas and then going back to live with her and her family for three months before we started the visa process. You can be anyone you want on the internet, but there's no substitute for that 24/7 test-drive. Know her family.

Most of these Fil-Am relationships are shameless dirty old Americanos with shameless dirty young Filipinas. If you want a teen wife then expect teen behavior. The man is going to bear the brunt of checking his emotions and being the rock of stability and maturity. Don't be impatient with her because you learned it thirty years ago. Sometimes you have to let her make the same mistakes you made.

Filipinas are just as hardy as any other human at fifty below zero. If she's too stupid or stubborn to wear warm clothes then she is a defective unit and you'll have to exchange her for a better model.

How is your unit working out, is the lease up, you paid it off or did you pay cash? Just bustin your chops, no worries man, I think you had some good things to say, but it is clouded by you seemingly positioning these human beings as property, I could be wrong with your intent, but that is how it will read to some people.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Please learn how to separate paragraphs with double spaces.

It's a difficult skill to learn. Care to post a link?

[TBoneTX 45,091]

Sorry Mr. TBone I'm gonna have to call a geographic audible here. If your foreign spouse did not drive in their home country and that home country is in Asia... please don't learn to drive before you get here. The roads from Bombay to Beijing are wet with my tears of fear and I've landed on aircraft carriers at night in rough seas.

You have an honest face and I trust you, si man.

The above is a good point, and audible geographically. However, my dream is to be able to drive in the U.S. (minus police interference) as people do in Guayaquil. A wide two-lane city avenue has cars parked on both sides, and often garbage set out for pickup. In the remaining space, taxi-drivers drive three abreast, dashing in and out and around each other and constantly missing collisions by exactly 1 billibeter. There is no apparent speed-limit. Heaven, si man.

Perhaps we can qualify the earlier advice by saying that everyone should strive to get a driver's license in the home country... whether one actually learns to drive there or not. Ha, si man!

On a different but no less important topic: Has everyone participated in the "Wedgies" poll in the Polls forum?

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

The following are just some general thoughts

I think responding might be create an opportunity for some fun.

Those of us that have been married before think we will always will do better the second time, but more than not we find ourselves making the same mistakes.

I wonder if you are repeating the same behavior....?

I made the mistake one time by saying "go away" ( in a joking manner) because she was constantly at my side, she took it seriously, and went into that silent mode for 24hrs, and ofcourse me being the stubborn one let her. The lesson here is no matter how much you think she understands, there are still aspects of our mannerisums she doesnt.

That's the "lesson"? It's her issue and not yours? Her lack of understanding and not yours?

Naaaaaa...that's too ez. There must be something more. A real motivator...an objective... inspiring you to write this.

Let's read on....reading ...reading...wait for it...,

Pinays, if he is being unsensitive tell him, dont go silent,

Ohhhh...ok...there it is...,

1) Did you just...Stereotype behavior? I think you did and if I am correct...I ask you ... Please don't try to put my wife in (what I like to call) the "bigot box". Although my wife is Pinay, she is still an individual and unique in many many ways. I don't think it is polite to assume that Pinays came from a cookie cutter.

2) Please do not tell my wife what to do. We believe in "freewill". Please keep your "bully pulpit" pointed away from my wife.

3) How does one apply for and be accepted to the position of "emotion processing authority"? Yes...that was a joke but seriously...hmmmm...here...let me explain...

A) Thinking and feeling are different and distinct processes. Yes..the (two) processes often work together or trigger each other but they are still seperate processes and move in directions controlled or out of control by / of the owner (of the thought or feeling).

Typically an individual (even the most stupid if willing) will learn to become more proficient at processing thoughts and feelings as they age. **Procficiency is determined/ guaged/ qualified by the owner.**

B) My thoughts and feelings are mine. I will process them at my pace and method(s). Your thoughts and feelings are yours and you are entitled to process them at your pace and with your preferred method(s). I do not have any control over your processing ...hmmm...style.. and vice versa. I only have control over me (and that's already more than enouf work load and a lifelong effort).

C) Let's don't forget that emotions activate the body. Hormones are released. Processing emotion is more than just ...thinking. emotions are a (but not limited to manipulation of) chemical reaction/ process.

So let's demonstrate application of this...,

I do something that hurts my wife's "feelings". Her thoughts about my behavior triggers a chemical reaction called "emotion". Once this chemical reaction is triggered my wife begins to process her emotions in ways (methods) she is comfortable and accustomed to. This may or may not be to my liking (shouldn't she process it MY WAY? ) but it is none of my business unless she makes it my business (by attacking me in one way or another) and...I do not have any right to dictate to her how she works through her emotional process.

So let's assume my wife utilizes withdrawal and silence as a defense mechanism while she works through her thoughts and feelings.

BUT BUT BUT...the "silent treatment" sucks! ...For who? Sucks for who? You? Me? Why? Wellll....bcoz of this and that and that and this and ya know what....all those that's and this's are mine..not my wife's.

Anyway...that was a shortened laymans translation. Hope it helps.

Oh and b4 I go....,

When the turtle told the hare, "Dude...you're really fast!" The hare replied.., "Duh."

Edited January 28, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Leatherneck 693]

Reading some of these I was wondering what you were doing looking in our window.

It's important, I think, for husbands to realize that our wives don't necessarily need us to agree with them but what they want is for us to understand them (or at least make an effort to).

My wife gave up a LOT to come and be with me in the US and I try to find a way to show her how much I appreciate it everyday. When the day comes that we move to China I'll know a little bit about how she felt moving to a different country. I'm sure she'll be very supportive and tell me to stop bitching and be a man.

Good post OP!

Huh uh! Wrong window, should've had my glasses on.

Good point, even just a little gratitude can mean the difference between harmony or turmoil.

[Hank_ 9,174]

What about test-driving that Filipina unit?

I'm in the minority by meeting overseas and then going back to live with her and her family for three months before we started the visa process. You can be anyone you want on the internet, but there's no substitute for that 24/7 test-drive. Know her family.

Most of these Fil-Am relationships are shameless dirty old Americanos with shameless dirty young Filipinas. If you want a teen wife then expect teen behavior. The man is going to bear the brunt of checking his emotions and being the rock of stability and maturity. Don't be impatient with her because you learned it thirty years ago. Sometimes you have to let her make the same mistakes you made.

Filipinas are just as hardy as any other human at fifty below zero. If she's too stupid or stubborn to wear warm clothes then she is a defective unit and you'll have to exchange her for a better model.

As opposed to dirty YOUNG Kanos.... ?

[StraightShooter 62]

...So let's assume my wife utilizes withdrawal and silence as a defense mechanism while she works through her thoughts and feelings...

Hmmm... we need remember that Tampo works in the RP because the culture there is different than it is in America. As a result, people there will give her "space" in which to work things through. People there understand the mechanism.

However, in the US when she clams up, people might treat her as though she's being a sulky little crybaby who can't effectively communicate when difficulties arise.

And if she ends up getting a job here and has some minor issue in the workplace, she might not be able to give a coworker the silent treatment without causing larger issues on the job. Perhaps even jeopardizing that job because she "can't get along" with her coworkers.

Cultural adaptation has to go both ways to some extent, but adapting to the US culture is the immigrants responsibility.

When I went to the RP, I took a copy of the book "The American Ways, An Introduction to American Culture" with me and gave it to my fiancee. She's been reading it and has learned a lot about our cultural differences. It's helping her a lot.

[southcalhog 43]

Good Post Kevin, Thanks for Posting it!

[TBoneTX 45,091]

It seems high time that several respondents in this thread go here to participate, si man:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/249659-wedgies-si-man/

[Rob n Tess 5]

Isn't that the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amy mentions starting to learn there and I said.......... NO! Pls!!

Come on Hank... I think we can all use some more of that kind of fun on the road!..Hehehehehe

I just think that everyone in the USA should enjoy driving overseas for a stint... and learn to love how easy we have it here! Beside if she can drive in that.... WOW she can make it anywhere!...LOL

Love that video clip...

[Hank_ 9,174]

Come on Hank... I think we can all use some more of that kind of fun on the road!..Hehehehehe

I just think that everyone in the USA should enjoy driving overseas for a stint... and learn to love how easy we have it here! Beside if she can drive in that.... WOW she can make it anywhere!...LOL

Love that video clip...

I mentioned these posts about the driving and she said to me - yes and you see why I said you shouldn't rent a car and drive yourself. Then she brings up learning to drive there still.... too funny!.

[kcir-is-love 4]

Uhhhh.... NO!!

I do NOT want my baby learning how to drive in her current environment. She'd have too many bad habits like these to unlearn once she arrives here.

BWAHAHAHA CORRECT!! I was actually already learning how to drive here in the Phils and he didn't want me to.. He said... "better not drive there cuz you ppl there drive crazy and you'd learn bad habits when you get here" HAHAHA obedient as I am... I stopped learning here haha:))