Child Support Evidence - How to provide sufficient proof? Pls Help!

[NotBonJovi 6]

My interview is in less than a month and I have received an unexpected setback which makes me worried.

My story - I got divorced in 2005 from my USC wife who has physical custody of our 10 year old daughter. I have been providing child support pursuant to the court decree. Initially, I paid her cash, transferred directly to her account or paid her bills directly in lieu of the support. I was also unemployed and out of the country during 2006-7 taking care of my cancer stricken mother, who later passed away. I informed the court of my job loss, but that did not help in reducing my monthly payments. So, I fell behind in payments during that period. When I returned to the US, I caught up and have been regular in my payments.

When I filed my N400, I had told my ex-wife that I would need a notarized affidavit from her stating that I have been regular in my payments and owe no arrears. She agreed at that time. But now, when I sent her the draft of the affidavit, she refuses to sign it. She says she is not sure if I had paid all I owe her and so does not want to provide me the affidavit. I have offered to pay what she considers as 'arrears', but at this moment she is unwilling to listen and is being difficult. To confound the problem, we are two time zones away and getting her on phone is proving to be difficult.

What is my recourse now? Would like to hear from other experienced VJ'ers. How deep of a trouble am I in?

Thanks for hearing me out. Waiting for your advice & suggestions. What options, if any, do I have now?

[aaron2020 11,651]

Get evidence that you are current with your child support from the agency/office that the child support goes through.

My girlfriend pays child support in New York. The family court has a child support office that handles her child support payments.

If you can't get something from family court, then you need to negotiate with your ex-wife. She holds the cards.

[NotBonJovi 6]

aaron2020 - Thanks for your input. No, I pay the child support directly, so CSA cannot help. I already spoke to them.

[NickD 202]

Find it strange you trusted your ex in this matters, if there was one really key reason why I got a divorce from my ex, was couldn't trust her any further than I go throw her. Did get out of child support payments with quite a battle to get full custody of my kids, but still got stuck with alimony payments to her that resulted in a monthly contact. Did that with a personal check and still have those. But one key goal was to completely severe all relations with her, did get her and her attorney to agree to a one time payoff. That huge canceled check and the court order is still in my divorce file folder, some 16 years later.

My precious wife had a huge problem in getting her ex to give permission for her daughter, but fortunately for my wife, he owed her some seven years back in child support payments that she never pressed charges for. Suggested, before we got married she would press charges for those payments unless he gave his daughter that he hasn't seen in seven years permission to come over here. Then he gladly signed that permission paper, wife had that done in a court of law, no ifs, ands, or butts about that.

If I was in your boat with a problem like hers, would very nicely contact her, tell her, things have changed, and you want full custody of your child. And you are talking to an attorney about that. And in a very subtle way, hint you will go easy on her if she signs that affidavit.

Bet you are kicking yourself now for trusting her in the first place.

[Ontarkie 14,221]

Other then maybe a letter from the courts. Wouldn't they have something if you fell behind and then got caught up. Also maybe reminding her the that the affidavit of support she signed will no longer be in affect and she will not be responsible for you once you become a citizen.

[NotBonJovi 6]

NickD - Thanks for your suggestions. I am impressed by what you and your present wife did.

However, given that I have less than a month for the interview, threatening my ex-wife that I'll seek full-custody of my child can possibly jeopardize any little chance I may have of getting the affidavit. She is also 2-timezones way, so that also poses a problem for seeking custody.

Ontarkie - Thanks. Since I pay the child support directly to my child's mother, the court will not have record and be of any help. And yes, I'll try and get whatever evidence I can before I go for the interview.

Edited January 25, 2012 by NotBonJovi

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Surely you don't pay her cash?

Present proof of the regular payments and a copy of the court order establishing the payment amount.

[mari&Ryan 93]

Sorry for this situation. Unfortunately I don’t have any experience in this so I can’t give you any helpful advice. Now, I did some search of anything similar to your case and I came up with this one:citizenship interview

Perhaps you may try to get in contact with the OP to find out what happen to her/his case.

Good luck!

[NotBonJovi 6]

Bob 4 Anna - No, I initially paid her by cash but not in the recent years.

mari&Ryan - Thanks for pointing out that thread. I have messaged the OP. Lets hope she responds. Will update here if I find out.

[mari&Ryan 93]

mari&Ryan - Thanks for pointing out that thread. I have messaged the OP. Lets hope she responds. Will update here if I find out.

You bet! Although that thread is from 2010, It seems that she's still an active VJ member.

[tdegrenier 1]

BonJovi:

It is not unusual to pay directly. My ex-wife and I have a similar arrangement. I pay her directly via direct deposit out of my pay check every two-weeks. If we opted to use Child Support Services, I would pay them and then once my check to them "cleared", they would pay her by check. She would have to wait for those checks. We also have an agreement, accepted by the court, that we will update the amount I pay her annually on our own. Every year, I fill out the official state form and we adjust accordingly.

Gather what information and records you can. If the lack of old records deems to be a problem, then the hint of taking custody may just work.

Good Luck!

Bob 4 Anna - No, I initially paid her by cash but not in the recent years.

mari&Ryan - Thanks for pointing out that thread. I have messaged the OP. Lets hope she responds. Will update here if I find out.

[NotBonJovi 6]

tdegrenier - Thanks! Yes, getting the old records for payment I've made will be a problem. I was not aware of the procedure to update the court of the payments made. Will have to look into that. Given the fact that my child is 2 time-zones away from me, I am not sure how effective the hint of taking custody will be on my ex-wife.

I am making another polite request along with a monetary offer for the affidavit. Am waiting to hear from her.

[Deep2009 18]

I have no business on comment anyone's previous decision in life.

But guys, court has system/FOC offices that protects you if you paying the child support.

There was a case in my immediate friends circle. EX was not giving noting to the guy. She even wrote a not good letter to USCIS. He end up going to FOC offices and get the certified copies of his accounts.

He provided the FOC court documents (account statements, it shows money goes to the account and money given to the mother, simple), that cleared everything.

We should ask everyone to use the system, not to be messed-up by ex-spouses.

NOTE- the people from FOC told us that person who pays always does not trust the FOC office, they are only following the court order. It was further mentioned that there is also a protection build in the system for the person who pays support.

[NotBonJovi 6]

Deep2009 - Thanks for your comment. Too late now, but yes in hindsight I should have paid through the court and not directly to ex-spouse. Btw, what does 'FOC' stand for?

[Deep2009 18]

Deep2009 - Thanks for your comment. Too late now, but yes in hindsight I should have paid through the court and not directly to ex-spouse. Btw, what does 'FOC' stand for?

It is "Friend of Court" office, it is part of court but works differently and enforce court order and they have case worker for a case, he/she will work on your case.

Some states has DOSS "Department of Social Services" that works with you for your case (go to their child support enforcement unit).