Divorce after 1 year of marriage

[captal 2]

Her whole defense is that i don't understand her and her culture. She claims all Asian women are like her. NO WAY! i have Asian women i am friends with, work with, hung out with and they are NOTHING like her. She is loud, spoiled, stubborn. She acts more like an American woman than an Asian woman. If i wanted that, i would have found one here in the US. I will see what happens. I am willing to try

I don't get this video. What's your point?

She's full of ####. My wife is Japanese and 100% not like this (though she is a saver- that's about the only similarity). My wife's stepmother is Chinese, and sounds exactly like your wife. Money is very, very important in the Chinese culture. VERY IMPORTANT. A lot of women want out of their current situation and think that getting married and moving to another country is the answer- it sounds like it more often results in misery than not, but once their out of China they can start a better life with or without their first husband/sucker.

I dated my wife for 2 years and traveled through 2 countries with her before asking her to marry me a bit over a year ago. I asked her if she wondered if I was going to propose to her and she said, "I never really thought about it, I just knew we were going to be together for a long time." That's a really atypical answer for a Japanese woman as they are constantly pressure to get married and make babies. Chinese culture is similar on that regard- there's a lot of pressure to marry.

One thing I learned is that we can't stereotype- you'll find loud, spoiled, stubborn women (and men) in any culture. When I lived in Japan I had no intention of every dating a Japanese girl because of all the horror stories I'd heard from friends. My wife proved that I was being a prejudiced idiot (luckily ).

[usagrlndaturk 0]

Actually, the best place to get some answers to a few of your questions is on the actual I-864, Affidavit of Support. Go on uscis.gov website and pull up the form and Page 6, Part 8 starts with "Sponsor's Contract". The form, addresses the legal effects on you, other consequences, even has the following statements on there: "What If I Do Not Fulfill My Obligations" and "When Will These Obligations End". When in doubt, always start with the documents you signed. Hope this helps, good luck!!

[Ms C 5]

Felt the need to comment, it's only fair you see the other side of the story too, first of all yes it's good to save money, you never know when you can get sick or something happens and you need it, from my experience soo far american people live on credit, they never save. Second, you going around the house in a tshirt during winter is not acceptable, put a coat on and turn down the heating, yoru bill should not be more then 100, I imagine where you are is never more less then 15 C, at this temperature here in Ro we hardly turn on the heating. You are 47, in my country paying a mortgage at this age is considered you are a looser, you did not do anything with your life, in communist countries or ex communist countries all people own a place, no matter how small it is, 4X4 room, they call it home and it's theirs, google and see in what countries people rent more, here everyone owns, in USA probably only 50 % own a house.... I guess she wants to change this by better budgeting your money and what it goes on. Next, she is a mature woman, in my country you won't see people over 40 in clubs and bars, they party at home with friends and family. Next, she does not want to meet people from her country, so what I don't want that either, some tend to be bad and have hidden reasons for wanting to meet you, better to make american friends, people from communist countries tend to be mean, selfish, jalous, she is better without them. You are 47, I assume your mom is 70 or close to it, who wants to stay with a mother in law that is 70 years old? She married you not your mother, are you a mama's boy? it's different when you go to friends, that's protecting her territory, she wants to be with you then because she loves you and she is concerned you might meet someone there, at your mom's house you are not going to meet anyone. She spends money on make up and eye creams, I have news for you, she is 41, she wants to look good for you or you might pick up a K1 20 years younger then you. She is right, you don't understand her at all, it's like you haven't been married before and for sure you don't love her if you are ready to divorce her for such stupid things, help her get a job, get out of the house, meet colleagues, go on holidays together not with friends, in her country people with debts don't go on holidays, they work to pay the debt, she loved you very much trust me if at 41 she married a man with no house, no big bank account and she is not interested in spending your money on expensive holidays, jewlery and a private bank account in her country...eye cream are you serious, really? Really? What is next she asked you money for a pair of pantyhose as well? WOW you better divorce her then for sure...You should be happy you got such a responsible woman, she respects you, she does not cheat on you, she takes care of you, you are 50 and still a party boy you were not ready to settle down...question, do you spend money on your car? Do you spend money on your drinks in the club? 100 each time? She gives 50 on an eye cream that lasts for 6 months....you are the problem here, not her, if you really love her this can easily be solved...good luck

[misswiss 6]

Felt the need to comment, it's only fair you see the other side of the story too, first of all yes it's good to save money, you never know when you can get sick or something happens and you need it, from my experience soo far american people live on credit, they never save. Second, you going around the house in a tshirt during winter is not acceptable, put a coat on and turn down the heating, yoru bill should not be more then 100, I imagine where you are is never more less then 15 C, at this temperature here in Ro we hardly turn on the heating. You are 47, in my country paying a mortgage at this age is considered you are a looser, you did not do anything with your life, in communist countries or ex communist countries all people own a place, no matter how small it is, 4X4 room, they call it home and it's theirs, google and see in what countries people rent more, here everyone owns, in USA probably only 50 % own a house.... I guess she wants to change this by better budgeting your money and what it goes on. Next, she is a mature woman, in my country you won't see people over 40 in clubs and bars, they party at home with friends and family. Next, she does not want to meet people from her country, so what I don't want that either, some tend to be bad and have hidden reasons for wanting to meet you, better to make american friends, people from communist countries tend to be mean, selfish, jalous, she is better without them. You are 47, I assume your mom is 70 or close to it, who wants to stay with a mother in law that is 70 years old? She married you not your mother, are you a mama's boy? it's different when you go to friends, that's protecting her territory, she wants to be with you then because she loves you and she is concerned you might meet someone there, at your mom's house you are not going to meet anyone. She spends money on make up and eye creams, I have news for you, she is 41, she wants to look good for you or you might pick up a K1 20 years younger then you. She is right, you don't understand her at all, it's like you haven't been married before and for sure you don't love her if you are ready to divorce her for such stupid things, help her get a job, get out of the house, meet colleagues, go on holidays together not with friends, in her country people with debts don't go on holidays, they work to pay the debt, she loved you very much trust me if at 41 she married a man with no house, no big bank account and she is not interested in spending your money on expensive holidays, jewlery and a private bank account in her country...eye cream are you serious, really? Really? What is next she asked you money for a pair of pantyhose as well? WOW you better divorce her then for sure...You should be happy you got such a responsible woman, she respects you, she does not cheat on you, she takes care of you, you are 50 and still a party boy you were not ready to settle down...question, do you spend money on your car? Do you spend money on your drinks in the club? 100 each time? She gives 50 on an eye cream that lasts for 6 months....you are the problem here, not her, if you really love her this can easily be solved...good luck

why are you bashing him and defending his wife like you know them?? lol anyway good luck OP from what i am reading the marriage didnt work out..but that doesnt mean it was sham. So i think u should divorce and move on..but u made a mistake because you are responsible for her for the next 10 years and there is nothing u can do about that. The best thing is to get on good terms and divorce her so that she doesnt try to screw you over. Good luck.

[love100 0]

My wife arrived from China in November 2010 and we were married Dec 25, 2010. She received her Green card in April 2011. She recently changed her Social Security number to reflect that she has her Green card. She is not adjusting well here and i believe the best thing at this point is to dissolve the marriage. We fight constantly, she seems to be obsessed with money and I am questioning her motives at this point. My question is concerning her status in the US. If we divorce, am I still going to be sponsoring her? I don't want to be my name on anything connected to her Green card or AOS. I am sure that she does not want to return to China, but i do not think i should have to pay her any alimony if she has been dishonest with me. If we divorce, does she have to return to China? If she returns to China, can she return on her own if i am no longer her sponsor? If anyone has any information, please let me know.

Thank you

If you divorce her you won't have to support her or give her any money. The I-864 form says that you will have to respond for her if she gets benefits from the government. and it also says that you are her sponsor until she becomes an US citizen.. the thing is that if you divorce her now..she will never be able to be a US citizen

The green card that she has right now is only valid for 2 years.. In 2 years if she wants to renew her green card for 10 years in order to get her Citizenship she will have to show immigration that she is still married to you..

But since she will not be marry to you anyome because you are divorcing her now..she won't be able to renew her green card for 10 years and she won't be able to become a citizen. She will be illegal here, AND SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THE country..

Make sure she is not trying to be married to you for one more year so she can get her green card for 10 years and then leave you..

[happywife 4]

Felt the need to comment, it's only fair you see the other side of the story too, first of all yes it's good to save money, you never know when you can get sick or something happens and you need it, from my experience soo far american people live on credit, they never save. Second, you going around the house in a tshirt during winter is not acceptable, put a coat on and turn down the heating, yoru bill should not be more then 100, I imagine where you are is never more less then 15 C, at this temperature here in Ro we hardly turn on the heating. You are 47, in my country paying a mortgage at this age is considered you are a looser, you did not do anything with your life, in communist countries or ex communist countries all people own a place, no matter how small it is, 4X4 room, they call it home and it's theirs, google and see in what countries people rent more, here everyone owns, in USA probably only 50 % own a house.... I guess she wants to change this by better budgeting your money and what it goes on. Next, she is a mature woman, in my country you won't see people over 40 in clubs and bars, they party at home with friends and family. Next, she does not want to meet people from her country, so what I don't want that either, some tend to be bad and have hidden reasons for wanting to meet you, better to make american friends, people from communist countries tend to be mean, selfish, jalous, she is better without them. You are 47, I assume your mom is 70 or close to it, who wants to stay with a mother in law that is 70 years old? She married you not your mother, are you a mama's boy? it's different when you go to friends, that's protecting her territory, she wants to be with you then because she loves you and she is concerned you might meet someone there, at your mom's house you are not going to meet anyone. She spends money on make up and eye creams, I have news for you, she is 41, she wants to look good for you or you might pick up a K1 20 years younger then you. She is right, you don't understand her at all, it's like you haven't been married before and for sure you don't love her if you are ready to divorce her for such stupid things, help her get a job, get out of the house, meet colleagues, go on holidays together not with friends, in her country people with debts don't go on holidays, they work to pay the debt, she loved you very much trust me if at 41 she married a man with no house, no big bank account and she is not interested in spending your money on expensive holidays, jewlery and a private bank account in her country...eye cream are you serious, really? Really? What is next she asked you money for a pair of pantyhose as well? WOW you better divorce her then for sure...You should be happy you got such a responsible woman, she respects you, she does not cheat on you, she takes care of you, you are 50 and still a party boy you were not ready to settle down...question, do you spend money on your car? Do you spend money on your drinks in the club? 100 each time? She gives 50 on an eye cream that lasts for 6 months....you are the problem here, not her, if you really love her this can easily be solved...good luck

this is the exactly what I want to say. too much misunderstanding about her. you both need to change and make efforts.

[love100 0]

this is the exactly what I want to say. too much misunderstanding about her. you both need to change and make efforts.

I

Please someone correct me if i am wrong?? He is not asking for personal advices..he has his friends and his family that know him and her and the situation better than visajournet members.. the only thing he wants to know is what to do in case he wants to divorce her!!

And I think he is right.. i am from another country too .. I got here 4 months ago.. and the first months were hard because i missed my family and friends so much...but I am adjusting little by little now..I got new friends.. I made friends with my husband's friend's wives.. and other people from other countries.. she should be happy to find people from the same country to make friends with..I haven't found anyone from Argentina or anyone who speaks spanish yet.. still i am not being such a b####..I love my husband and i know he does everything he can to make me happy because he knows that i am far away from my country, he knows i don't have family or friends here, he knows my English is not perfect.. and my culture is different..and he does everything he can to make sure i am happy.. so because of that i put a little effort and i respond him the same way..

Why are you guys talking about him not wanting to spend his money on her??.. he just said he recently payed for her to go and see her family..he is not saying that she can't spend his money.. he is saying that he let her spend his money in everything she wants.. but when he wants to spend money to pay bills like..she doesn't let him...

Edited January 24, 2012 by elianalovesmatt

[happywife 4]

I

Please someone correct me if i am wrong?? He is not asking for personal advices..he has his friends and his family that know him and her and the situation better than visajournet members.. the only thing he wants to know is what to do in case he wants to divorce her!!

And I think he is right.. i am from another country too .. I got here 4 months ago.. and the first months were hard because i missed my family and friends so much...but I am adjusting little by little now..I got new friends.. I made friends with my husband's friend's wives.. and other people from other countries.. she should be happy to find people from the same country to make friends with..I haven't found anyone from Argentina or anyone who speaks spanish yet.. still i am not being such a b####..I love my husband and i know he does everything he can to make me happy because he knows that i am far away from my country, he knows i don't have family or friends here, he knows my English is not perfect.. and my culture is different..and he does everything he can to make sure i am happy.. so because of that i put a little effort and i respond him the same way..

Why are you guys talking about him not wanting to spend his money on her??.. he just said he recently payed for her to go and see her family..he is not saying that she can't spend his money.. he is saying that he let her spend his money in everything she wants.. but when he wants to spend money to pay bills like..she doesn't let him...

YOU are absolutely right，the only thing he wants to know is what to do in case he wants to divorce her!!

And I say right back to you. Using your logic. Who wants to know your story here?

I have an idea. You post what you want. I post what I want. Everybody posts what they want. Let the mods sort it out.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

If you divorce her you won't have to support her or give her any money. The I-864 form says that you will have to respond for her if she gets benefits from the government. and it also says that you are her sponsor until she becomes an US citizen.. the thing is that if you divorce her now..she will never be able to be a US citizen

The green card that she has right now is only valid for 2 years.. In 2 years if she wants to renew her green card for 10 years in order to get her Citizenship she will have to show immigration that she is still married to you..

But since she will not be marry to you anyome because you are divorcing her now..she won't be able to renew her green card for 10 years and she won't be able to become a citizen. She will be illegal here, AND SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THE country..

Make sure she is not trying to be married to you for one more year so she can get her green card for 10 years and then leave you..

Ahh no. You obviously don't understand the process at all.

Once he divorces her she will need to ROC with a divorce waiver. She will need to prove that she entered the marriage in good faith (this happens all the time and is surprisingly easy). After 5 years of being an LPR she can apply to be a USC. The problem is being chinese she likely never will... because china doesn't permit dual citizenship so she'll lose her home citizenship if she applies for USC.

His only chances for the I-864 to be cancelled are for her to give up the GC (unlikely) and for her to work for 40 SSA quarters (10+ years)

Edited January 24, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[love100 0]

YOU are absolutely right，the only thing he wants to know is what to do in case he wants to divorce her!!

And I say right back to you. Using your logic. Who wants to know your story here?

I have an idea. You post what you want. I post what I want. Everybody posts what they want. Let the mods sort it out.

Then read twice his post before saying he said things that he didn't say..

Edited January 25, 2012 by elianalovesmatt

[Robert&Karen 264]

His only chances for the I-864 to be cancelled are for her to give up the GC (unlikely) and for her to work for 40 SSA quarters (10+ years)

The I-864 only zaps you if she applies for some sort of government aid. if she works menial jobs and never applies for anything, even if eligible, you may never hear a peep. The intent is that she not be a burden on taxpayers and ONLY if she is, then the I-864 comes into play.

[happywife 4]

Then read twice his post before saying he said things that he didn't say..

I'v read three times and I could tell he is complaining that she doesn't want he to spend money and she spends LOTS OF MONEY on her eye-cream. Is that right meaning?

I just want to say he is misunderstanding about her. She does so only wants to save money and want to keep young to please him and she loves him want to spend more time with him. there are lots of culture issue there, what I read wrong or I post wrong?

[love100 0]

I'v read three times and I could tell he is complaining that she doesn't want he to spend money and she spends LOTS OF MONEY on her eye-cream. Is that right meaning?

I just want to say he is misunderstanding about her. She does so only wants to save money and want to keep young to please him and she loves him want to spend more time with him. there are lots of culture issue there, what I read wrong or I post wrong?

If she wants to please him.. she doesn't need creams.. she needs to stop controlling how he spends the money if he is not even wasting it

He is not complaining about her buying creams.. he even bought her a ticket for her to go and visit her family..He is complaining that he can't turn the heat on (IN WINTER) because she thinks that that is a waste of money... but she gets to spend the money in whatever she wants.

SO i guess that spending money on creams is not a WASTE of money but paying your bills is a WASTE OF MONEY (Money he makes anyway)

But if you think like that is ok!!

[love100 0]

Ahh no. You obviously don't understand the process at all.

Once he divorces her she will need to ROC with a divorce waiver. She will need to prove that she entered the marriage in good faith (this happens all the time and is surprisingly easy). After 5 years of being an LPR she can apply to be a USC. The problem is being chinese she likely never will... because china doesn't permit dual citizenship so she'll lose her home citizenship if she applies for USC.

His only chances for the I-864 to be cancelled are for her to give up the GC (unlikely) and for her to work for 40 SSA quarters (10+ years)

My bad.. I didn't know it worked that way..

[happywife 4]

If she wants to please him.. she doesn't need creams.. she needs to stop controlling how he spends the money if he is not even wasting it

He is not complaining about her buying creams.. he even bought her a ticket for her to go and visit her family..He is complaining that he can't turn the heat on (IN WINTER) because she thinks that that is a waste of money... but she gets to spend the money in whatever she wants.

SO i guess that spending money on creams is not a WASTE of money but paying your bills is a WASTE OF MONEY (Money he makes anyway)

But if you think like that is ok!!

I guess she could use her way to try to please him, it is her business. she went back to visit family what's wrong with it? do not say he buys her a ticket, that their money not only his. do you know what the temperature is? they live in a warm area, even in winter it is not cold. save money not only for herself, it is for the family.

I'm not saying that she is as perfect as you are, I said they "both" need to change.

Edited January 25, 2012 by happywife