Divorce after 1 year of marriage

[wife2be. 7]

She did not enter the marriage in good faith. There is a lot i did not include (Rushing me to get married fast, rushing to get her green card, etc). Definitely not a marriage in good faith. that is why i want to divorce her! I just want her out of my life and i don't want to be responsible for her. She is impossible to deal with. If i have to go before a judge, they will see how difficult she is. I can prove that she is full of ####### and that this marriage was a sham. She has a few friends who have married Americans and have just left after a few months to go back to China. We have only been married a little over a year. Things have been shaky from day one. I don't want to be her legal sponsor anymore because she is fraudulent.

hi i felt really bad after reading your story am yet to file for a fiancee visa,i mean my fiance is yet to file for a fiancee visa for me,its very sad and dishonest on her part that she got married to u based on your status i feel very bad when i hear stories like this,it makes everything for anyone who is filling for a fiancefiancee visa dificult.i cant even imagine the amount of funds you put in there.am sorry.But please dont give up on love,cos i did once,and if it wasnt for m fiance i had planned to become a serrogate mother and forget about men.He saved me at the last minuite,i dont know i its something about the states it seems people change so much once they arrive u see their true colours.wow am so sorry for u.God be with u and stay positive.u will meet someone who loves you for u and not for your status.stay blessed

[wife2be. 7]

Okay....

She does not want me to spend money on anything, ANYTHING! we live in Florida but it gets colder in the winter, so you DO need heat. She never turns the heat on anyway, but i paid to have it repaired because of the dangers (Pipes freezing, health issues, etc) and she was upset that i WASTED MONEY when i could just walk around the house in a winter coat. Yet, she will spends hundreds of dollars on eye cream and make-up and not blink an eye! If i buy anything, she has something to say. I work, she doesn't.

She doesn't respect my parents, she doesn't respect my friends, she doesn't respect my holiday's, everything is stupid to her. But , i must respect her holidays, which i always do. She won't make friends, she doesn't even talk to Chinese people when we go to the Chinese market! She asks me to talk to them! i speak like to words of Mandarin! LOL. I know you are trying to help and don't think i don't appreciate it, because i do, But she is not like your ordinary Asian women. She has been married before. She is very independent. She wants to do her own thing, but have a husband to support her. i know this kind. i dated a lot of America women that act exactly like that.

There is A LOT more that i will not bore you with, but this marriage is irreparable. I have tried everything to help her adjust. I thought she was homesick, so i spent a few thousand dollars that i didn't have to send her home for a month, but she doesn't appreciate anything. The best thing at this point is for her to find someone who can tolerate her. My family and friends have had it with her. I just want out at this point

wow seems like a Huge no no to me.In ghana u must and i Mean MUST RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY ELSE THEY WILL WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH U.I MUST SAY EVEN IN THE STATES IF YOU ARE GHANAIAN U MUST RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND,YOU MUST BE A HUMBLE WOMAN AND HELP HIM OUT.I THINK ITS BEST U WALK AWAY WHILST U STILL CAN.GOOD LUCK!

[Khomer1964 0]

agreed. Its not as though you married her against your will. Might need some time to cool down a bit before launching into the blame stuff. It is very difficult to adjust to all the changes of a new surrounding and without support it can put tons of strain on your relationship. I wish you the best of luck.

I agree with what you are saying. I am taking that road. We had a very heated, emotional conversation last night. i told her how i felt and she did the same. We just need to see how the next few weeks/months go. I believe she has an agenda. My family feels the same way. But I am willing to try and work things out. I am still very upset, but i am willing to try.

[Khomer1964 0]

Have you try Marriage counselling yet?, and if it doesn't work, get a federal lawyer they knows everything.

Her whole defense is that i don't understand her and her culture. She claims all Asian women are like her. NO WAY! i have Asian women i am friends with, work with, hung out with and they are NOTHING like her. She is loud, spoiled, stubborn. She acts more like an American woman than an Asian woman. If i wanted that, i would have found one here in the US. I will see what happens. I am willing to try

I don't get this video. What's your point?

[Khomer1964 0]

Try to work things out, It is very hard to adjust to other country and a diferent culture. She can be legally until her green card expire, after that she will need to renew it.

Under 3 conditions that you can find in the I-751 instructions.

Hope that you solve your problem

Thanks you. I am going to try and work it out. Alot of yelling, crying and accusations last night, but we calmed down and will try to work things out. the main thing is her attitude. She doesn't understand how it looks to my friends and family. In her culture it may seem fine, but here it comes across as rude. She has had over a year to adjust. i realize that is not a long time, but she has not gotten better, she has gotten worse. She won't make friends, she doesn't talk to anyone unless they are on the computer. All she wants to do is hang around the house with me. i want to go out, travel, spend time with my friends and family. She doesn't want to have anything to do with my family or friends. I will see how things go

[Khomer1964 0]

im a money saver myself, i had horrible fights with my husband, i had problems with his family, i was impossible to handle with and i STILL AM. and he understood me (well most of the time) and he didnt want to divorce me cause he knew its hard for me to adjust. YOU are seeing just one side and i think you DONT LOVE HER and you never did. divorce her, but for her own good, not for yours

Well, she had and has an agenda. no one forced her to come here and no one forced her to marry me. She left a dying father in China to come here. She rushed me into a civil ceremony wedding, drove me crazy to get her green card and now her attitude towards me and everyone has changed. I have tried to help her adjust, but she doesn't want to adjust. She spends money on HERSELF! jewelry, clothes, anything to make her happy. If i buy ANYTHING she complains. She doesn't save anything. She can leave anytime she wants, no one is keeping her here! I told her last night i wanted OUT of this relationship ASAP and she cried and cried. I think she is full of ####### and I called her on it. We will see. You don't know her and i don't know your husband or you for that matter, maybe if you talked to her you would see what i mean, but i don't expect that you would

[Khomer1964 0]

Surprised that her few friends left after a few months to go back to China. Those that are fraudulent usually want money, a divorce, and to stay in the USA. Her friends going back to China is unusual.

I think you spent too little time with her before she came over to the USA. How many times did you visited her and how long were the visits ? This is not the first story I have heard about a marriage having trouble from day one coming to the USA.

Cam ypu tell me what is her age and your age ?

It sounds like you two don't have a common language. Your Chinese is bad, and her English is bad. I wonder how did you two get passed US immigration.

She is 41 and i am 47.

I visited Shanghai once in 2009.

She visited for a month in 2010.

I don't speak Mandarin at all.

She can speak English and Mandarin.

She is full of it. She speaks English and understands it when she wants to. When she doesn't want to hear something, she acts like she doesn't understand. She is a very difficult person to figure out. All last night she says i don't understand her mind. i don't understand a Chinese mind. OF COURSE I DON"T! I AM NOT CHINESE! I have tried everything to help her adjust. Explain to me why she doesn't want to associate with other Chinese people here? She is so rude, never talks to them when they try to engage her in conversation. She acts like she is better than them. I try to get her to go to the Buddhist temples to meet people, join social clubs and activities with people from her country. I thought, MAYBE this will help her to adjust. I sent her home to her family to visit for a month because i thought she was homesick. I try and try, but she says i don't understand her mind. The main thing is the way she treats my entire family. To me, that is a deal killer. They all adore her. My mother , father , nieces, nephews, brother, sister, cousins, everyone. She treats them like #######. My father had a incident and had to go to the hospital this weekend and my mother wanted us to stay at her house so she wouldn't be alone, but she didn't want to stay at my mothers house. She wanted to go home to be with our cat and i went by myself to stay with my mother. Now, if i said i wanted to go to my friends house to spend the night and have her go home alone and stay there, she would have freaked out! She would say 'a husband and wife should be together'. I don't understand her mind at all. She doesn't make since sometimes. I make every effort to learn her culture. She annoys me and whines and complains non-stop, but expects me to kiss and hug her, even when i am pissed at her. I cannot understand her. It is very difficult. She wasn't like this when i met her. She was quiet, sweet, caring. Now she is like a spoiled rich American socialite

Edited January 24, 2012 by Khomer1964

[skiptex 225]

[Darnell 8,478]

From what you described, I was married to that woman for 12 years, also from China. Everything you described! Mine got her green card already from her prior marriage, but she got me to file the affidavit of support so her mother could come here. So now I am on the hook for that. my question is, when does LPR end, since my mother-in-law went back to China two years ago and hasn't returned. Is there any way to determine if her residency lapsed or something?

If she's not returned, then mil has abandoned her USA residency, and in-effect, abandoned her greencard.

There's no form to fill out, alas, requesting a USCitizen to be removed from any I-864 after a greencard is issued.. Sometimes I wish there was.

[Justine+David 218]

I don't see anything (from the eyes of USCIS) that this marriage was fraudulent. Saying that she rushed you into marriage and that she spends your money on herself is pretty weak evidence, especially since you've been married for a year now. I think you should divorce her and move on. Sorry that this is happening

[Darnell 8,478]

Khomer - I'm a fan of working things out, but there's never an easy fix - cannot snap fingers and things change.

Was she a gold-collar worker in China? It makes no difference, either way, now that's she's here - but sometimes these things bleed over once the suitcase is unpacked.

[CristiFur 15]

I feel you and understand where your coming from. My ex-wife (domestic) was like yours but not to that extreme..so now I'm taking the "IMPORT" route.. ...

[JohnAireen 0]

She did not enter the marriage in good faith. There is a lot i did not include (Rushing me to get married fast, rushing to get her green card, etc). Definitely not a marriage in good faith. that is why i want to divorce her! I just want her out of my life and i don't want to be responsible for her. She is impossible to deal with. If i have to go before a judge, they will see how difficult she is. I can prove that she is full of ####### and that this marriage was a sham. She has a few friends who have married Americans and have just left after a few months to go back to China. We have only been married a little over a year. Things have been shaky from day one. I don't want to be her legal sponsor anymore because she is fraudulent.

If it is fraud on her part they would strip the greencard. But has to be fraud. I have looked up similar cases and there has been some that have been stripped of citizenship due to fraudulant marriage years later in their second marriage. you can do a search in google you can check with INS. Look up Nada Prouty that is a popular one she was fbi star officer stripped of her U.S. Citizenship due to fraudulant marriage. You lie to get citizenship you can lose it no matter how long they have had it.

[wife2be. 7]

Because she didn't act this way when i met her.

I flew to Shanghai and she was perfect, she was quiet and we never argued about anything.

Her Father was dying in China, yet she came here to the USA to get married.

I never pressured her. My family told me to tell her to take her time. I told her to stay as long as she needed, never pressured her, but she came anyway. I don't understand her, she has changed a lot. From day one she wanted to be added to my mortgage, my bank accounts, everything. Just seems like she has a motive. Yes, i shouldn't have caved and married so fast, but she had a fit. My mistake.

Believe me, there will be no more K-1 visas in my future. I will stick to the Domestics for now on. I will discuss with a lawyer.

am so sorry.but dont use her to think all foreign people u meet are scammers there still are very good people out there.Take heart and move on..goodluck

[wife2be. 7]

She is 41 and i am 47.

I visited Shanghai once in 2009.

She visited for a month in 2010.

I don't speak Mandarin at all.

She can speak English and Mandarin.

She is full of it. She speaks English and understands it when she wants to. When she doesn't want to hear something, she acts like she doesn't understand. She is a very difficult person to figure out. All last night she says i don't understand her mind. i don't understand a Chinese mind. OF COURSE I DON"T! I AM NOT CHINESE! I have tried everything to help her adjust. Explain to me why she doesn't want to associate with other Chinese people here? She is so rude, never talks to them when they try to engage her in conversation. She acts like she is better than them. I try to get her to go to the Buddhist temples to meet people, join social clubs and activities with people from her country. I thought, MAYBE this will help her to adjust. I sent her home to her family to visit for a month because i thought she was homesick. I try and try, but she says i don't understand her mind. The main thing is the way she treats my entire family. To me, that is a deal killer. They all adore her. My mother , father , nieces, nephews, brother, sister, cousins, everyone. She treats them like #######. My father had a incident and had to go to the hospital this weekend and my mother wanted us to stay at her house so she wouldn't be alone, but she didn't want to stay at my mothers house. She wanted to go home to be with our cat and i went by myself to stay with my mother. Now, if i said i wanted to go to my friends house to spend the night and have her go home alone and stay there, she would have freaked out! She would say 'a husband and wife should be together'. I don't understand her mind at all. She doesn't make since sometimes. I make every effort to learn her culture. She annoys me and whines and complains non-stop, but expects me to kiss and hug her, even when i am pissed at her. I cannot understand her. It is very difficult. She wasn't like this when i met her. She was quiet, sweet, caring. Now she is like a spoiled rich American socialite

this is indeed so sad.so sorry.