Pregnant Petitioner

[Fandango 1,440]

No we don't want a baby for that purpose. The purpose is to have a baby from our love. If you can't understand then I don't know how to explain that. And as far as the danger issue, some people just can't understand that concept either. If your husband was deployed wouldn't you want to know you have a child from him with you, knowing he could die any day? or even be able to be there with him for as long as he is in that terrible situation (and possibly for the last days and weeks of his life)? I mean for me the answer is yes. I love him so much I can't bear the idea of further separation from him. I love him so much I would go into dangerous areas to be able to wake up by his side for any amount of time. That might just be me. I don't know how to explain it further.

It's an interesting concept... I can't answer, cos I'm not quite sure, tbh.

I think you have an incredible capacity for love, and your future husband should feel absolutely blessed.

eta: I can understand the concept of making a baby from pure love...I did do that part with the hubster. But forgive me for commenting on this, but it did appear you were hoping the baby could remove some question about the relationship legitimacy, which obviously is more scrutinized for the visa.

Edited January 22, 2012 by Anita Cocktail

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Yes I did wonder that as well. Two birds with one stone. And if it would have hurt the process we may have decided to wait longer before having the baby (?). However I am still convinced that its a very risky process for us no matter what. They can decide what ever they want despite the truth of our love and you can do nothing but hope. This past year was already too long of a wait for me, so I think I need a break before taking it up again. My heart is bleeding and I cry a lot at night thinking about his safety there. I do not know that I can handle the insecurity of the visa process in conjunction with the separation from him.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

OP, how old are you?

Does it matter? Age is really not a great way to analyze or judge people.

[canadian_wife 1,827]

Yes I did wonder that as well. Two birds with one stone. And if it would have hurt the process we may have decided to wait longer before having the baby (?). However I am still convinced that its a very risky process for us no matter what. They can decide what ever they want despite the truth of our love and you can do nothing but hope. This past year was already too long of a wait for me, so I think I need a break before taking it up again. My heart is bleeding and I cry a lot at night thinking about his safety there. I do not know that I can handle the insecurity of the visa process in conjunction with the separation from him.

From personal experience, no. In our interview the CO asked when we planned on having kids. My husband replied that we did not plan on having kids.

Our Cr-1 visa was approved without issue

Our ROC was also seemless, without children on that too.

Good luck - again you need to stop thinking that having kids impacts this process. It does not.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Thank you However your case was already a bit easier. US and Canada have a great relationship and there is not a surge of Canadians try to escape their homeland (that I am aware of).

[cdneh 3,112]

Does it matter? Age is really not a great way to analyze or judge people.

It's quite a good standpoint from which to try and understand your thought process.

[Fandango 1,440]

Yes I did wonder that as well. Two birds with one stone. And if it would have hurt the process we may have decided to wait longer before having the baby (?). However I am still convinced that its a very risky process for us no matter what. They can decide what ever they want despite the truth of our love and you can do nothing but hope. This past year was already too long of a wait for me, so I think I need a break before taking it up again. My heart is bleeding and I cry a lot at night thinking about his safety there. I do not know that I can handle the insecurity of the visa process in conjunction with the separation from him.

Let me tell you this. When I was with my ex, we were together so long that it was the 'natural progression' of things to where we started talking about babies. I grew really fond of the idea. Then it took over my brain, kinda. Our relationship was failing, and I still wanted to have a baby. I had moved back to the US at this point, so all of our talking was for 'when he got the visa'

I ended the relationship, but as my bff tmma will tell you (she's a memeber here), I agonized about whether or not to fly over to get preggo, cos what the heck? Being pregnant and raising a baby alone would be totally fine for me.

I eventually grew out of the baby stage, had some fun, dancing, etc. Met the hubby, a year later we were suprised with a pregnancy. And let me tell you, I had absolutely zero idea of what I was in store for. I could never have done this...from pregnancy to now...without him.

I guess all my posts just mean 'don't underestimate what you're signing up for'

[canadian_wife 1,827]

Thank you However your case was already a bit easier. US and Canada have a great relationship and there is not a surge of Canadians try to escape their homeland (that I am aware of).

I totally agree, but having a child does not prove your marriage is legit. You can see that right?

Does it mean I love my husband less than you do because we don't have childrent nor do we want to?

Good luck

[SmilesAbroad 27]

It's quite a good standpoint from which to try and understand your thought process.

I firmly disagree. There are way too many variables that have nothing to do with age that would provide more useful information to you.

[J&N* 68]

The baby won't make your case (or your marriage) any stronger! Don't have a baby just to prove you're together for real. So many people have babies they really didn't want to start with so that won't prove much. Wait until he's here, get settled down and make sure everything is going fine financially and between you two and then have as many babies as you want.

Best of luck.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

I totally agree, but having a child does not prove your marriage is legit. You can see that right?

Does it mean I love my husband less than you do because we don't have childrent nor do we want to?

Good luck

No of course not. I was not arguing that in any way. However I do think that if you are trying to commit some kind of fraud, that you wouldn't be having a baby with that person. It seems strange to me, but then again people may do anything for a scam. I am not a scammer so I really cant get inside the head of one and know what they would think and do. But after reading the posts by all these lovely people, I can see that it will carry no weight. So our having a baby won't kill two birds with one stone after all.

[J&N* 68]

However I do think that if you are trying to commit some kind of fraud, that you wouldn't be having a baby with that person.

Let me tell you about "accidents" that happen to couples! The US especially as a country, KNOWS this. Look at all the abortions, adoptions and single mothers here. Not all babies are planned.

Go on babiesrus and see how expensive baby things are, you'll be in shock. Can you afford it alone? Might take a year until your husband finds a job here.

Edited January 22, 2012 by J&N*

[cdneh 3,112]

I firmly disagree. There are way too many variables that have nothing to do with age that would provide more useful information to you.

Not really. A lot of very young people make decisions they later come to regret. Carry on. Just know, as you asked in your first question, that this will not help your petition in any way.

[mr and mrs 187]

people WILL do anything for a scam. or a green card.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Let me tell you about "accidents" that happen to couples! The US especially as a country, KNOWS this. Look at all the abortions, adoptions and single mothers here. Not all babies are planned.

I mean as a scam, why would you sleep with that person at all. There would be no "accident" either. but again I am not a scammer so I can't tell what they are thinking in the first place. Having a baby to solidify a scam is a selfish lack of consideration for the life of the baby. Where's the genuine love in that.