Pregnant Petitioner

[JudyKCski 12]

If I am not mistaken she is not married yet. She wants to make a trip there to get pregnant and get married and then file papers to get him here.

My question to her is have you ever met each other in person yet here or there? Sorry but all I sense is a big hurry to make the relationship look legitimate quicker faster. I would hope he isn't trying to push you into something too fast.

As the petitioner your wages are what is going to be looked at not his in Pakistan.

Please take a deep breath and try and see your relationship with open eyes.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Yes I mentioned earlier that we met for a week abroad, with my guardian present of course. There is no big rush other than our desire to be together as soon as possible, which I think most people here are feeling. It may seem fast to you because of the cultural and religious differences, but I assure you it is not going too fast (too slow actually) and that there is no pressure from him to do this. We are not "trying" to make it look legitimate, it is legitimate.

[Boiler 45,939]

If speed is the issue it is going to be much faster for you to move.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Yes of course. Safety is an issue also, but we are still considering our option with the marriage visa. I am just thinking of the worst case scenario, that the process takes a few years and ends in denial. Is it worth that risk, or just better to move?

[JudyKCski 12]

Yes I mentioned earlier that we met for a week abroad, with my guardian present of course. There is no big rush other than our desire to be together as soon as possible, which I think most people here are feeling. It may seem fast to you because of the cultural and religious differences, but I assure you it is not going too fast (too slow actually) and that there is no pressure from him to do this. We are not "trying" to make it look legitimate, it is legitimate.

Okay....guess it is just because I am old. Hope you will forgive the worrying mother part of me.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

No worry, there is nothing to forgive. I understand there is a large difference in cultural expectations of how long it takes to build a relationship, between the US and Pakistan in this case. People around me here raise eyebrows at how "fast" we went, but people over there are more concerned with how long it has taken.

[AmyWrites 593]

So you have massive student debt, are petitioning for a man from a country with a very difficult consulate, you will likely spend the first months (or heaven forbid years) of this child ALONE, which will make working very difficult, and you want a baby now?

If I were a CO, I'd see him as a risk to need government financial support of some sort...

My advice is to hold off on the baby making bit.

But to get off my high horse, no, this won't help or ruin your case.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

The reality of life and death in the beneficiary's home country frankly override any considerations for having a baby later. Thank you for the advice however.

[AmyWrites 593]

Yes I am considering moving to Pakistan with a potential newborn as well. There are some areas that are safer than others, and if he has to deal with the dangers then I can and will too. Most people there just hope it doesn't happen to them or a loved one. Unfortunately there is no office in Pakistan for me to file a petition from there, so we would likely continue to live there or try to immigrate to a different country other than the US if possible. We have not solidified our marriage plans yet, and we may consider marrying in Pakistan instead of abroad. That is just risky for me because I have no idea what marrying in his country will mean and what the laws are. It would be nice to live in the US but with the risk of denial or waiting for up to 4 years, just going to Pakistan would be easier.

Going to Pakistan would be easier... how? Do you know their visa rules? Is it safe? Is there work for you? Also I've heard (but am unsure so I apologize if I am incorrect), that if you lived abroad in a "terrorist country" out of your own decision, as a US citizen, it'll be harder for you to petition for someone else.

But but but, it seems like you have some sort of cultural ties to Pakistan, besides your husband, so maybe this will be easier for you. In any case I wish you the best of luck

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Visa to Pakistan? Not hard. Safe? Not really, however I can die any time in the US too, so really its up to having faith in God over your life's direction. And as far as that discrimination about having lived in Pakistan, it could just be a rumor. But if it is true then there is just nothing to be done about it. Maybe the rules will change in the future, but if that is the case we will apply for immigration elsewhere that accepts us. Last option is to stay stuck in Pakistan and hope things get better there... I think at this point, I just want to live my life with my future hubby and try to raise a family too, no matter where on Earth or in what conditions.

Edited January 22, 2012 by Kyda

[Voided01 7]

Visa to Pakistan? Not hard. Safe? Not really, however I can die any time in the US too, so really its up to having faith in God over your life's direction. And as far as that discrimination about having lived in Pakistan, it could just be a rumor. But if it is true then there is just nothing to be done about it. Maybe the rules will change in the future, but if that is the case we will apply for immigration elsewhere that accepts us. Last option is to stay stuck in Pakistan and hope things get better there... I think at this point, I just want to live my life with my future hubby and try to raise a family too, no matter where on Earth or in what conditions.

So as everyone else said no one is telling what you have to do just advising from another persons point of view and some from experience. So all we here can do is just advise not demand that you do such and such. In the end you and your future husband know what you guys want and from reading your posts here it seems that you guys are set to have a baby soon so just do what you think is right for you and take things one step at a time.

[Fandango 1,440]

My question to her is have you ever met each other in person yet here or there? Sorry but all I sense is a big hurry to make the relationship look legitimate quicker faster. I would hope he isn't trying to push you into something too fast.

I agree totally, and think that perhaps the OP thinks a baby might speed up the PK black hole wait. If that's what they want, that's cool...but as mentioned, it won't.

Pointless comment but something I found interesting....I am confused that PK is so dangerous that she wants to get pregnant God forbid something happens to him, but she'd move and bring a newborn there.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

No we don't want a baby for that purpose. The purpose is to have a baby from our love. If you can't understand then I don't know how to explain that. And as far as the danger issue, some people just can't understand that concept either. If your husband was deployed wouldn't you want to know you have a child from him with you, knowing he could die any day? or even be able to be there with him for as long as he is in that terrible situation (and possibly for the last days and weeks of his life)? I mean for me the answer is yes. I love him so much I can't bear the idea of further separation from him. I love him so much I would go into dangerous areas to be able to wake up by his side for any amount of time. That might just be me. I don't know how to explain it further.

Edited January 22, 2012 by Kyda

[Fandango 1,440]

Visa to Pakistan? Not hard. Safe? Not really, however I can die any time in the US too, so really its up to having faith in God over your life's direction. And as far as that discrimination about having lived in Pakistan, it could just be a rumor. But if it is true then there is just nothing to be done about it. Maybe the rules will change in the future, but if that is the case we will apply for immigration elsewhere that accepts us. Last option is to stay stuck in Pakistan and hope things get better there... I think at this point, I just want to live my life with my future hubby and try to raise a family too, no matter where on Earth or in what conditions.

I think that's very sweet, and I wish you both the best.

[cdneh 3,112]

OP, how old are you?