Pregnant Petitioner

[SmilesAbroad 27]

I am quite aware of the difficulties, but not having a guarantee of some form of him with me will be far worse than I can bear. My brother's wife actually got pregnant right before he was deployed to Iraq, and she had to raise the baby for a over a year without him. It was definitely hard but she had family to help her, and so do I. At least in my situation we will be able to communicate via skype, whereas my sister in law could rarely do this during my brother's deployment.

[BimnKay 5]

Getting pregnant is not going to make him get here any faster. Just like everyone mentioned, you really need to think about the emotional aspects of going through the joys and pains of pregnancy alone, working, etc. If you are filing after you get married, his being able to gain a tourist visa to visit while his case is pending is very slim and in my opinion not a smart decision, you don't want to do anything to complicate the process. Good luck.

[aaron2020 11,651]

If your husband end up in AP for 3-4 years, how will you feel raising your child alone for 3-4 years?

A baby will not help get your husband to the US quicker. A baby means that your household cout will go up & you will need a higher income to meet the poverty line. So, a baby doesn't help and may be a negative if your income is low when it comes to petitioning your husband.

[ceadsearc 516]

The OP didn't ask for family planning advice. She asked how pregnancy would affect her husband's visa petition.

The answer is it won't, besides the fact that if the baby is born before the visa is issued then the household size will be 3. Yes, the petition can take months or even years, but how that relates to the choice to have a child is between her and her spouse. Will it provide evidence of a bonafide marriage? Maybe. Some IOs view it that way. Some don't. If the baby is already born and his name is on the birth certificate, that's a plus.

As mentioned, 3 years income at 125% is not required. You need to report the past 3 years income but only current income is taken into consideration. With a brand new job, however, having a co-sponsor lined up isn't a bad idea.

[Fandango 1,440]

I am quite aware of the difficulties, but not having a guarantee of some form of him with me will be far worse than I can bear. My brother's wife actually got pregnant right before he was deployed to Iraq, and she had to raise the baby for a over a year without him. It was definitely hard but she had family to help her, and so do I. At least in my situation we will be able to communicate via skype, whereas my sister in law could rarely do this during my brother's deployment.

My husband and I got pregnant while engaged, and within a year, had a baby, got married, he graduated Summa Cum Laude. Not only did the market in our area tank, we decided it was best to not move away for one of the job offers out of state that he was getting. Yes, he had student debt too. We had to deal with making the best of a bad market, which made him upset that he 'worked so hard to get X straight out of school, only instead to be making Y' Don't get me wrong, Y wasn't bad. But the transition for hubby in being on the ball college man to 'pressure's on! Adjust your expectations in the professional world cos you now have mouths to feed too!' was not easy. And he didn't have to deal with cultural differences, or learning to integrate in a foreign land. He felt enough a fish out of water, and this is his home.

So we had everything to deal with in the one year, only he and I are both USCs, so there was no waiting or anything like that. I know what I'm talking about with my first post here, cos I did it...and let me tell you something...in theory, it was fine...no worries, easy peasy. In real life? As fantastic as a year it was, it was also our most challenging. AND we were together from start to finish.

Things came up in that year that I never even thought about, but now I look back and go 'dur'.

I honestly don't know how single moms do it...they have my utmost respect. I understand being a 'single' mom if you have to...but why anyone would actually want to is another story. You are in for a long haul with a PK visa as well.

You say it's really dangerous where he is, and also you'd move there if the visa didn't go through. Would you bring a newborn baby there?

I'm not trying to tell you your idea is #######...but it certainly is lofty. Even one of those things is a life changer. All of them at once? Good luck to you.

Edited January 21, 2012 by Anita Cocktail

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Yes I am considering moving to Pakistan with a potential newborn as well. There are some areas that are safer than others, and if he has to deal with the dangers then I can and will too. Most people there just hope it doesn't happen to them or a loved one. Unfortunately there is no office in Pakistan for me to file a petition from there, so we would likely continue to live there or try to immigrate to a different country other than the US if possible. We have not solidified our marriage plans yet, and we may consider marrying in Pakistan instead of abroad. That is just risky for me because I have no idea what marrying in his country will mean and what the laws are. It would be nice to live in the US but with the risk of denial or waiting for up to 4 years, just going to Pakistan would be easier.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Sometimes I wish you could just sign affidavits stating that you and the beneficiary will not apply for government aid no matter how poor you are but its not possible for many reasons. Living in the US may have to be a consideration far in the future

But thank you all for the help and advice.

Edited January 21, 2012 by Kyda

[EAbbas 213]

ceadsearc is right. We aren't here to tell the OP what to do. We can give advice on the petitioning of the applicant... she can read stories about AP in ISlamabad she knows the difficulties she will face. I too am afraid for my husband but we've been working on this since Nov 2010 and he still isn't here.. that is the reality of petitioning for a spouse from Pakistan. What was right for us.. to wait until he is here is also our own personal decision. They can make a sound decision as well.. one that suits their own family. For us..this was right. I'm glad now we didn't have a baby right away because the stress of the AP is very heartbreaking ... but one that will eventually finish but unknown as to the time.

OP just read everything and research the pakistan forum for anything useful to know how to make a strong case. That is the main thing.. and yes some men don't have a long AP (few but it can happen) and some are on longer ones.. im at 7 months a few others are over a year. Just do what you can to understand everything clearly and ask questions and save every single email, chat, skype, phone records, letters, cards, pics etc.

Good luck to you!

Sometimes I wish you could just sign affidavits stating that you and the beneficiary will not apply for government aid no matter how poor you are but its not possible for many reasons. Living in the US may have to be a consideration far in the future

But thank you all for the help and advice.

I know.. but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Just be sure to fill out the financial support appropriately with the size of your family, you plus hubby and if baby.. plus baby makes 3.. prepare for joint sponsor just in case due to not working previously..(not saying you wont be able to do it on your own but JUST IN CASE they request a joint sponsor) Islamabad is very strict. you dont want any delays with a 221g for joint sponsor.

Edited January 21, 2012 by EAbbas

[Fandango 1,440]

ceadsearc is right. We aren't here to tell the OP what to do. We can give advice on the petitioning of the applicant... she can read stories about AP in ISlamabad she knows the difficulties she will face. I too am afraid for my husband but we've been working on this since Nov 2010 and he still isn't here.. that is the reality of petitioning for a spouse from Pakistan. What was right for us.. to wait until he is here is also our own personal decision. They can make a sound decision as well.. one that suits their own family. For us..this was right. I'm glad now we didn't have a baby right away because the stress of the AP is very heartbreaking ... but one that will eventually finish but unknown as to the time.

OP just read everything and research the pakistan forum for anything useful to know how to make a strong case. That is the main thing.. and yes some men don't have a long AP (few but it can happen) and some are on longer ones.. im at 7 months a few others are over a year. Just do what you can to understand everything clearly and ask questions and save every single email, chat, skype, phone records, letters, cards, pics etc.

Good luck to you!

I don't think it's rude to impart very tough learned wisdom one picks up along the way. In fact, I think it's a very nice gesture, considering that someone is taking personal time to give a total stranger a part of the puzzle that she may or may not have missed.

If someone came on and said 'you're wrong, stupid, etc' I would agree that it's not appropriate at all.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Thank you for the advice. All of this does make me worry, I feel like they will end up denying our marriage visa after months or years and lots of money. I met him last February and we have talked from 3 to 8 hours almost every day since then. I don't think either of us can handle such a long separation with a possible denial hanging over our heads. I would really hate to move to Pakistan but I don't know what else to do

[milimelo 4,541]

Thank you for the advice. All of this does make me worry, I feel like they will end up denying our marriage visa after months or years and lots of money. I met him last February and we have talked from 3 to 8 hours almost every day since then. I don't think either of us can handle such a long separation with a possible denial hanging over our heads. I would really hate to move to Pakistan but I don't know what else to do

Have you met in person yet? I'd be wary of going there with intention of getting married on the first visit - doesn't look good in the CO eyes. Develop the relationship first before getting married. Skyping for hours a day and living together are not the same thing - what you think you know about the person and what is true in real life are often not the same thing - check out the MENA forum for more information. And also, when you go there, do register with the US embassy so they know where to find you should you need any assistance.

Good luck!

[ceadsearc 516]

There is a difference between saying "this is what I would do/have you considered these issues/etc." and saying "I think you should do xyz," and making assumptions about what the OP knows and doesn't know or is/isn't prepared for, particularly when some of that isn't even related to immigration but to things like student loans.

Obviously, commenters can say and advise whatever they want but it's naive to assume the OP hasn't considered these issues herself, and I do think it's inappropriate to give advice on having a child to someone who is asking about spousal visas in the event of pregnancy, not if they should get pregnant.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

We have met once abroad for a week, but living together without marriage is against our beliefs. And I do think that I read that the office takes religion into consideration for issues where there was marriage before living together.

[Boiler 45,939]

I would strongly suggest you visit a few more times, and for longer than a week.

A child, assuming a DNA match, only proves one thing, and it is not that the focus is on obtaining an immigration benefit.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Money is an issue with meeting up not to mention religion. I can't keep asking my family members to travel abroad with me so I can see my future hubby, though they all like to travel...