Child support for a Ukrainian baby?????

[eekee 182]

Is a "married scientist mortgage" a thing?

[slim 1,525]

Huh?

[DavidandIrina 1]

This saga has taken an interesting turn. Maybe I'm worried about nothing.

She has claimed that she has found that she can apply for some guardianship and she can sign the ex husband as the legal father. She is saying that I'll have no rights and she can't leave the country without his approval. But as many of you have mentioned, maybe he IS the father. :-P So I'll let her do as she wishes.

[DavidandIrina 1]

Maybe it's just me but this is an odd set of circumstances to believe. You say you "dated for a year." What does that mean? You lived over there and dated her continually? You made a number of visits over there to see her? And when did you file for a K-1? Those take awhile to secure...so you dated for a year and filed for the K-1 which she now has in hand? When did the baby arrive during this timeline? If she got pregnant, and you went along with that plan, why didn't you just marry her?

Something just doesn't add up here. And what did you mean you got her "a full visa?" Not sure what that means.

Anyway, if you're for real, I'd do the DNA and then search your conscience. I will say...between your craziness to go along with this scheme and your Ukraine woman and her weirdness and dubious behavior, the baby girl has my sympathy and concern.

I met her online randomly through her friend March 2010. We talked daily through skype and sometimes on the phone until October 2010 when I went to see her. We kept talking daily and then I went back to see her in February 2011 this time with an engagement ring and plans to marry her. I later applied for the fiancee visa in April 2011 and received the NOA2 in October 2011. She did the final interview and received the visa in November 2011. She gave birth to Mary Catherine on November 22nd 2011. We've been in a holding pattern since. In May 2011 she and I had a huge fight over having a prenuptual agreement, to be honest. She kept telling me the different reasons she'd divorce me -- if she was bored, if she was unhappy, if she didn't love me anymore. I've already went through the cleaners once and I'm pretty well off despite it so going to the cleaners again didn't sound like a good idea. Anyways I asked her for a prenupt and she totally went psycho on me saying that a Ukraine man would never say that to a woman, that she hated the USA and never wanted to be here, etc. So we've kind of been in a holding pattern since. I think our fundamental trust is severely damaged. I don't honestly know her intentions, yet, in my heart I still love her and the baby.

BTW I have 3 children already and I love my children dearly. I fought hard to get 50/50 custody and have them every thursday/friday/saturday/sunday. I am very happy raising them on my own and enjoy every second of it. I just feel sad I'm missing the opportunity to raise my daughter in Ukraine. I don't know if she is mine, but in my heart she is mine.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

This saga has taken an interesting turn. Maybe I'm worried about nothing.

She has claimed that she has found that she can apply for some guardianship and she can sign the ex husband as the legal father. She is saying that I'll have no rights and she can't leave the country without his approval. But as many of you have mentioned, maybe he IS the father. :-P So I'll let her do as she wishes.

She's right, but call call her bluff. It's like a poker game. If you say ok go for it, don't contact me again chances are she's going to change her tune. If she balks at the DNA test then I'd say she knows your not the father. Time is on your side. Right now she's trying to use the kid as a weapon.

[baron555 934]

Your dates don't add up.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Your dates don't add up.

Yep, and this link attached doen't make sense, if she was 8 months pregnant in Oct, how was she getting any immuzations? http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/332812-noa2-a-success-now-i-need-to-know-what-to-send-her-please-help/page__p__4936421#entry4936421

You did say the child's DOB is 11/22/2011.

Edited January 18, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[skiptex 225]

You did say the child's DOB is 11/22/2011.

yep.. he did

[Fandango 1,439]

This saga has taken an interesting turn. Maybe I'm worried about nothing.

She has claimed that she has found that she can apply for some guardianship and she can sign the ex husband as the legal father. She is saying that I'll have no rights and she can't leave the country without his approval. But as many of you have mentioned, maybe he IS the father. :-P So I'll let her do as she wishes.

Not for nothing, but this is a disgusting mentality. You may or may not be the father...but her being married X times isn't some black mark on her character. In fact, it obviously didn't deter you from dating in the first place.

In fact, even if she's the dirtiest ####### around, you should feel some kind of responsibility to find out whether that's your child before looking for a way to get out of the ever precious $$$$ responsibility. That may be your daughter...your BLOOD. And yet, you're worried about how much you can dodge without getting arrested.

I am truly disgusted, and mentalities like yours are what has created a fatherless generation of kids not having the loving support (not just $$) from the two who brought them into the world in the first place. Shame on you.

Man, I had no clue I could respect my husband more than I did 5 minutes ago.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Not for nothing, but this is a disgusting mentality. You may or may not be the father...but her being married X times isn't some black mark on her character. In fact, it obviously didn't deter you from dating in the first place.

In fact, even if she's the dirtiest ####### around, you should feel some kind of responsibility to find out whether that's your child before looking for a way to get out of the ever precious $$$$ responsibility. That may be your daughter...your BLOOD. And yet, you're worried about how much you can dodge without getting arrested.

I am truly disgusted, and mentalities like yours are what has created a fatherless generation of kids not having the loving support (not just $$) from the two who brought them into the world in the first place. Shame on you.

Man, I had no clue I could respect my husband more than I did 5 minutes ago.

If I could reach through my monitor and wring your neck right now now I would. Try reading the thread before making a post like that. The OP asked about DNA test more than once. In no way is the OP trying to shirk anything, the OP is only asking what his options are.

[Fandango 1,439]

If I could reach through my monitor and wring your neck right now now I would. Try reading the thread before making a post like that. The OP asked about DNA test more than once. In no way is the OP trying to shirk anything, the OP is only asking what his options are.

Not only are you one classy guy, but you need a reading comprehension class.

She says that she can't get a birth certificate without my signature. However, I was wondering if this makes me financially responsible in any way or if she'll have me arrested there or in the States if I don't cough up money? I would obviously understand that if I was in Ukraine in the future I could be arrested and forced to give her child support, but living in the States, I don't know if they can "get" me.

This saga has taken an interesting turn. Maybe I'm worried about nothing.

She has claimed that she has found that she can apply for some guardianship and she can sign the ex husband as the legal father. She is saying that I'll have no rights and she can't leave the country without his approval. But as many of you have mentioned, maybe he IS the father. :-P So I'll let her do as she wishes.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I met her online randomly through her friend March 2010.

October 2010 when I went to see her.

went back to see her in February 2011

I later applied for the fiancee visa in April 2011

She did the final interview and received the visa in November 2011.

She gave birth to Mary Catherine on November 22nd 2011.

In May 2011 she and I had a huge fight over having a prenuptual agreement, to be honest. She kept telling me the different reasons she'd divorce me -- if she was bored, if she was unhappy, if she didn't love me anymore. I've already went through the cleaners once and I'm pretty well off despite it so going to the cleaners again didn't sound like a good idea. Anyways I asked her for a prenupt and she totally went psycho on me saying that a Ukraine man would never say that to a woman, that she hated the USA and never wanted to be here, etc.

I did the "conception date" calculator and it says probable dates of conception Feb 25 - March 5 2011. If she had the baby via c-section that could be off. If she had the baby late it could be off as well. This is the calculator I used: http://www.baby2see.com/conception_calculator.html So if she told you the due date from when she first found out you could try putting that in.

Anyway I'm sorry but it does appear that you've been used. Child might be yours, won't know till DNA test.

Her reaction to the pre-nup, telling you all sorts of reasons for why she'd divorce you is c.r.a.z.y. It's like some big manipulation or so when she divorces you she can tell you she TOLD you she would. If she was marrying you for love she'd have no issue signing a pre-nup (after speaking to her own lawyer to make sure it's fair for her too). No normal person enters a marriage PLANNING to divorce, no-one expects their love to turn into a crazy money-grabbing psycho, but it happens. You were right to try and protect yourself.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Not only are you one classy guy, but you need a reading comprehension class.

He asked more than once about a DNA test, and no he doesn't want to pay for a child that's not his. She never once mentioned a DNA test but he has. He went to battle for custody for three of his kids already and I doubt he's going to shirk this one. Not much he can do from the US if she's pulling the strings over there other than get a DNA test which he has already inquired about. She's using the kid as a weapon without knowing how the real father is.

[1HappyGuy 45]

Not for nothing, but this is a disgusting mentality. You may or may not be the father...but her being married X times isn't some black mark on her character. In fact, it obviously didn't deter you from dating in the first place.

In fact, even if she's the dirtiest ####### around, you should feel some kind of responsibility to find out whether that's your child before looking for a way to get out of the ever precious $$$$ responsibility. That may be your daughter...your BLOOD. And yet, you're worried about how much you can dodge without getting arrested.

I am truly disgusted, and mentalities like yours are what has created a fatherless generation of kids not having the loving support (not just $$) from the two who brought them into the world in the first place. Shame on you.

Man, I had no clue I could respect my husband more than I did 5 minutes ago.

Just another drive-by shooting.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Not only are you one classy guy, but you need a reading comprehension class.

No Offense Anita but...

I do think you've taken some of the OP's posts out of context.

He has stated that he still has feelings for her and the child.

Looking at the totality of the situation, including the timeline of the relationship and how her version of things has evolved, it does look like he has some valid reasons to be concerned.

I agree that she should insist on DNA before anything else. If she balks at the idea then the kid simply isn't his.

Not once has he clearly stated that he'd abandon the child if he is the bio-daddy.