URGENT: UK to US Immigration

[easyriders2011 14]

Not trying to be nosy, but you haven't indicated what her mother is mad at. You have stated your friend is 17, so its very likely she is still rash and impulsive. Perhaps the mother is not being all that unreasonable and perhaps your friend needs to rethink her position. An bit of contriteness and towing the line might just get her back into the house.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it definitely makes for a better living arrangement than living in a group setting with a bunch of strangers.

[mr and mrs 187]

also, you may want to post in the UK regional forum. there may be people there more familiar with support options for your girlfriend.

[nicolev 3]

Not trying to be nosy, but you haven't indicated what her mother is mad at. You have stated your friend is 17, so its very likely she is still rash and impulsive. Perhaps the mother is not being all that unreasonable and perhaps your friend needs to rethink her position. An bit of contriteness and towing the line might just get her back into the house.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it definitely makes for a better living arrangement than living in a group setting with a bunch of strangers.

This is an understandable viewpoint from someone outside of the situation. I have nearly begged her on end to just beg her mother to allow her to stay in the house. It's not happening. Her mother is suicidal and has a number of personal issues, and the situation is physically not safe for her by any means. It really doesn't matter what I say to her about this situation, she will not stay with her mother ... not that it matters anyway, because her mother simply will not have her.

also, you may want to post in the UK regional forum. there may be people there more familiar with support options for your girlfriend.

I definitely will make a post there asap! I've been speaking to her now and she really is not taking well to the social services route

[nicolev 3]

Also, just a continuation of that, the circumstances are rather personal and severe, and I'd have not been naive enough to consider such drastic situations if this had simply been something which transpired after a petty disagreement. I don't really want to put my girlfriend's personal business out there anymore than I have by asking the general public for advice on what she should do in her life. But, all in all, this is not something which can be solved, at all. The situation is not only complex and impossible, but unsafe.

[N M 96]

If her domestic situation is unsafe, her local Social Services dept should be informed.

The suggestions of Centerpoint, and LGB charities/ organizations are great - but Social Services has a whole spectrum of resources available for children who are at risk.

[Shawn&Jodie 14]

She could visit her local Jobcentre Plus and ask to speak to the under 18s Team who can offer practical advice about housing in the local area and benefits for those who are estranged from their parents

[canadian_wife 1,827]

Here is my concern

It seems like she is simply running away and not dealing with any of this, this is a very 'teenager' mentality. To just go away and hope everything gets fixed.

Your interim solution of her coming to visit is not going to solve the problem with her mother, she HAS to return to the UK. What will she do then? It will be exponentially more difficult once she returns if she doesn't have anything in place

You are the older one in the relationship. I know this seems very Romeo and Juliette but you have to keep your head on and help solve this problem, running away, or helping her run away, isn't a solution.

You need to help her get safe, after that THEN you should plan a visit

Good luck

[scotinmass 588]

If her domestic situation is unsafe, her local Social Services dept should be informed.

The suggestions of Centerpoint, and LGB charities/ organizations are great - but Social Services has a whole spectrum of resources available for children who are at risk.

In Scotland the age of majority is 16. In the rest of the UK it is 18 but although in England you are not legally an adult until you are 18 you are treated as one from the age of 16. Social services do not see you as a child anymore and you are pretty much on your own. In the US people are considered children until they are 21 or even older. In MA we have to keep our children on our health insurance until they are 26! In the UK we grow up a lot faster. Help is harder to find when you are an adult who voluntarily made herself homeless.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Thank you for the replies and advice, everyone!

She is going to be 17 soon, so she is old enough to travel alone.

The issue with VWP is that I've looked into it, and it appears as though she needs to have a place to return to (which she doesn't). Should I still look into this regardless and see what could be done about it?

Her mother is being extremely unfair with this entire situation, and I don't think she cares much about the fact that my girlfriend doesn't really have anywhere to go. I'm assuming this is illegal? I mean, it's technically child abandonment. I've tried to tell my girlfriend to seek help from the authorities, but she doesn't want to get her mother in trouble, and we're also a bit weary on how we'd keep in contact if she was to stay in government-funded housing.

Any idea on what my first step should be?

If you want her to visit for the 90 days with the VWP simply put her home address, even if her mother is going to make her homeless it is her home address in the U.K. I wouldn't be too strict about that under the circumstances.

As for the homeless situation in the U.K she can try her local Local Council Housing Office ( if you search for that under the place/county/city, where she is living) you should find a contact number and or address. They will have a housing options department and they certainly WILL deal with her as a priority as she is under 18 years of age.

Citizens Advice Bureau

Help for Homeless People

Do not worry about homelessness as it is over here compared to the states - we have laws that mean we have to protect young people. She will NOT end up on the streets if she acts on the information given and seeks advice. Her mother will not get into 'trouble', but they may suggest to your girlfriend whether the relationship with her mother can be repaired? They certainly won't make her stay at her home address if she is at risk, and they will not do anything to her mother if she refuses to allow her child to stay at the home address. The authorities main priority is to see whether the family issues can be repaired so that your girlfriend is not made homeless, and they will also look into whether she has family that she could stay with. However, if it seems that the relationship cannot be resolved or the mother simply refuses to have her in the house, then they will look at appropriate accommodation for her.

Accommodation could be any of the following depending on the council she resides under: a shelter, B&B, supported housing for young people or her own rented place. They will also advise her on what benefits she will be entitled to to help with the cost of living alone, including rent.

I hope this helps.

Edited January 15, 2012 by Vicky and Larry

[scotinmass 588]

If you want her to visit for the 90 days with the VWP simply put her home address, even if her mother is going to make her homeless it is her home address in the U.K. I wouldn't be too strict about that under the circumstances.

As for the homeless situation in the U.K she can try her local Local Council Housing Office ( if you search for that under the place/county/city, where she is living) you should find a contact number and or address. They will have a housing options department and they certainly WILL deal with her as a priority as she is under 18 years of age.

Citizens Advice Bureau

Help for Homeless People

Do not worry about homelessness as it is over here compared to the states - we have laws that mean we have to protect young people. She will NOT end up on the streets if she acts on the information given and seeks advice. Her mother will not get into 'trouble', but they may suggest to your girlfriend whether the relationship with her mother can be repaired? They certainly won't make her stay at her home address if she is at risk, and they will not do anything to her mother if she refuses to allow her child to stay at the home address. The authorities main priority is to see whether the family issues can be repaired so that your girlfriend is not made homeless, and they will also look into whether she has family that she could stay with. However, if it seems that the relationship cannot be resolved or the mother simply refuses to have her in the house, then they will look at appropriate accommodation for her.

Accommodation could be any of the following depending on the council she resides under: a shelter, B&B, supported housing for young people or her own rented place. They will also advise her on what benefits she will be entitled to to help with the cost of living alone, including rent.

I hope this helps.

In theory they have to help. In practice it is usually different. They will try to put her in a hostel or some nasty place. If she refuses she is on her own. If she has stayed with a friend for some time before going to social services for help they may say she is self sufficient and she will be on her own. Social services is over worked and under funded. They go with the priority cases first. That would be kids under 16.

[uktousa 2]

I came to US four times in last year. Every time they just asked me purpose of my visit and saw my return ticket. They didn't ask anything else at airport. She should be fine if she show them return ticket and tell them purpose of visit.

[nicolev 3]

Thanks for the help to everyone who has given genuine suggestions!

She hasn't run away, she has been literally forced out. I am afraid that her mother will not allow her back into the house. She is out already. What should she do? Where should she go? Who should she immediately contact? I'm trying my very best to get her what I can. She literally does not have anyone at all to stay with. No family, no friends, no neighbors willing to help - nothing. She's very much alone in this. I'm trying to have a friend sort something out with this, and we are most likely going to be able to at least get her a hotel for 3 nights.

What should I do? As in, right now?

[nicolev 3]

And I do thank everyone who has been genuinely helpful, for everyone who is accusing her of "voluntarily" making herself homeless, you honestly do not understand the situation, and are in absolutely no position at all to pass this judgment upon someone who is struggling at this very moment. She was literally forced out without any help from her mother. She hasn't simply run away, her mother just wants her gone. I would appreciate it if everyone could calm down with the redundancy. I understand that you think we're naive, but you do not understand the situation, and therefore aren't helping anyone in the slightest by simply trying to give your "words of wisdom." Genuine help and concern is appreciated, as well as advice, but the judgmental comments aren't providing any sort of help.

[mr and mrs 187]

if she is unwilling to seek help, maybe you can make some phone calls on her behalf? then present her with options.

if she is unwilling to accept help, or only wants to accept certain help, im afraid that she may be in a bind.

nottingham is not the safest of UK cities and january is not the warmest of months. maybe it will take a dose of reality before she is open to social services. they may seem more appealing after a cold, acary night. :l

i really think she can find a place that she will be comfortable in if she accepts help.

does she have money?

does she have warm clothes?

does she have a mobile with credit?

is she mentally okay or TOTALLY freaked out?

again, best to you both. especially her.

[nicolev 3]

if she is unwilling to seek help, maybe you can make some phone calls on her behalf? then present her with options.

if she is unwilling to accept help, or only wants to accept certain help, im afraid that she may be in a bind.

nottingham is not the safest of UK cities and january is not the warmest of months. maybe it will take a dose of reality before she is open to social services. they may seem more appealing after a cold, acary night. :l

i really think she can find a place that she will be comfortable in if she accepts help.

does she have money?

does she have warm clothes?

does she have a mobile with credit?

is she mentally okay or TOTALLY freaked out?

again, best to you both. especially her.

thank you so much! what happened was a friend of ours offered to get her a hotel booked. he booked it, but when she got there, they told her that she needed to pay in cash even though the hotel was reserved by our friend. so, he sent her money through western union, but they told her that she has to be 17 to pick it up. now she has a very limited amount of money - not enough for the bus fair home! she has called her mother over and over and over again, but her mother isn't answering. Although her mother isn't the greatest, she explained in her messages that she has nowhere to be, and no one would be heartless enough to simply ignore her. She's very afraid because her mother has threatened to kill herself on many occasions and she is fearful that she may have done something .. it would be understandable that she would want to kick my girlfriend out then, you know what I mean? just so that she could .. yeah omg, i'm so scared i honestly don't know what to do?????