bad american husband

[pholy 0]

this is some pretty sad story but about a month ago, a vietnamese woman about the age of 24 immigrated into the states. she was able to come here because she married a caucasian man about the age of 52. while here her husband will not let her out of the apartment nor keep in contact with anyone back in vietnam. i dont know the reason behind this, but maybe he did not want her to befriend anyone else fearing she will leave him for that person. who knows right? she is a beautiful girl and this guy is a slob and ugly. whatever the reason is she ended up in the hospital with both broken legs. no one is able to foot the bill for the hospital cost. i know this because my sister work as a social worker. she would not tell anyone what happened to her. unless she went for a walk and someone tried to jack her sandles she brought from vietnam then we can make a guess who did it.

my sister is the first person she actually came in contact with. it became something of a personal thing because we are all vietnamese. i offered to take her in my house and help her out a little, but her husband is furious. my wife would love to have company because she recently immigrated into the states about 7 months ago. someone to share experiences will be great and comforting in my opinion. this person, let's call her "thuy" wants to return to vietnam because so far she has nothing but bad things happening to her. i like to make this change but i dont know how because her husband is being a huge issue. he actually acussed me of kidnapping her and reporting me to the police. this is making things hard because i am planning to leave for vietnam for tet in a couple of days.

[luckytxn 2,264]

this is some pretty sad story but about a month ago, a vietnamese woman about the age of 24 immigrated into the states. she was able to come here because she married a caucasian man about the age of 52. while here her husband will not let her out of the apartment nor keep in contact with anyone back in vietnam. i dont know the reason behind this, but maybe he did not want her to befriend anyone else fearing she will leave him for that person. who knows right? she is a beautiful girl and this guy is a slob and ugly. whatever the reason is she ended up in the hospital with both broken legs. no one is able to foot the bill for the hospital cost. i know this because my sister work as a social worker. she would not tell anyone what happened to her. unless she went for a walk and someone tried to jack her sandles she brought from vietnam then we can make a guess who did it.

my sister is the first person she actually came in contact with. it became something of a personal thing because we are all vietnamese. i offered to take her in my house and help her out a little, but her husband is furious. my wife would love to have company because she recently immigrated into the states about 7 months ago. someone to share experiences will be great and comforting in my opinion. this person, let's call her "thuy" wants to return to vietnam because so far she has nothing but bad things happening to her. i like to make this change but i dont know how because her husband is being a huge issue. he actually acussed me of kidnapping her and reporting me to the police. this is making things hard because i am planning to leave for vietnam for tet in a couple of days.

Ouch. This is bad stuff and a bad time for you to boot.

[Gordito and Me 2]

Id say stay out of it. If she wanted help she would ask for it. In these cases the victim does one of two things, either they run for their life and take any help they can get or become an enabler for the abuser. I think we understand by your description the choices she has made. Offer her help if she needs it and then walk away.

[WeatherEmperor 21]

Oh this is a difficult situation. I can't tell you what to do but whatever you do, please be careful. You don't know this guy or if he wants to hurt you for trying to take his wife into your home. If the girl really needs help, the best thing you can do is SHOW her to find help for herself. The last thing you need to do is get yourself involved in a potentially ugly situation. I hate these wife beating guys. They are f*ing cowards. Please be careful and good luck.

[aaron2020 11,651]

If she wants to go home, she needs to contact the Vietnamese Embassy/Consulate nearest to her. As a Vietnamese national, they may be able to help get her home.

If she wants to stay in the US, she needs to document her abuse. She needs to go to the police (which I know is not easy for Vietnamese to do when the police back home are so corrupt).

[Dan_P 5]

I'd explain to her her rights and what can be done and offer to help, but beyond that, stay out of it. If she doesn't want help, you poking your nose in can actually make things worse for her.

[jojolicious 38]

I think you have a good heart but you don't know her or her husband well enough to intervene. You have your own family to think about and who knows what this man is capable of. See if she will report him to the police and if she won't, take her to the nearest Vietnamese Consulate to see if they can help her to get home.

This is a very sad story though

[dtc 1]

better becareful with this pholy , nothing worst than an angry husband .

[quann 26]

my advice is to let her know all her options but don't make it your business. my dad gets these cases all the time, young vn wife old US citizen husband...and the 24 yr old girl is usually far more knowledgeable in US immigration laws then she lets on (especially if she has ulterior motives).

i'm NOT saying that's the case here, but let the appropriate law depts do their jobs...2 broken legs is serious business.

p.s. and most of the time when they marry an old guy to come to the US...their first thought won't be i wanna go back to vietnam if something happens

[brian_n_phuong 193]

This isn't about age, relationships, or compatibility; It's about violence.

This could be two people the same age and Vietnamese, the result would be the same if one of them is prone to violence.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

one post removed for ageist comments. if a member has nothing better to comment about other than the age difference between the two individuals mentioned in the op - don't post.

[luckytxn 2,264]

one post removed for ageist comments. if a member has nothing better to comment about other than the age difference between the two individuals mentioned in the op - don't post.

But, this is regionals. That is about all we have to talk about.

Well that and how HOT our young babes we married are.

Edited January 11, 2012 by luckytxn

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Take her to a battered woman's shelter. They're better prepared to deal with the possibility of an angry husband showing up. If she decides to stay in the US and has any immigration issues to settle (removal of conditions, adjustment of status, whatever) then they'll help here with that, or hook her up with someone else who can help her. If she needs to adjust status or remove conditions then she's got a pretty good VAWA case. If she wants to return to Vietnam then she can contact the Vietnamese consulate, or any of a number of Vietnamese assistance groups in the US. My wife's temple recently helped a woman who had moved to the US and then her marriage collapsed. They took up a collection for her and bought her a ticket back to Vietnam.

Seriously, there are people who are far better equipped to help her, and it begins with taking her to a woman's shelter.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

But, this is regionals. That is about all we have to talk about.

not when they are highly critical comments.

[X Factor 1,112]

Wow what a sad situaton for this young lady.