Should I rat on my scammer girlfriend?

[Scafidi454 22]

This may be a bit off topic for VisaJourney, as it never became a formal visa journey.

But the discussion may prove of value for someone who finds they are in a similar situation.

I recently (just this week) returned from a trip to Russia to see my girlfriend of several years

for the New Years holidays. After many months of suspiciouns, unfortunately or fortunately, I

discovered massive infidelity on the scale worthy of a salacious Hollywood motion picture.

Not only was she bedding dozens of work, school and social acquaintances, she was actively planning future

carnal and business opportunity options upon her arrival in the US once our fiancee visa was approved.

I am sure that within a few months, she shall enlist another candidate to submit an I-129F as part of her "do whatever it takes" approach to getting herself to terra firma in the USA.

I certainly blame my nativity; I was deceived by her, she is a lawyer with a high level position in a multinational corporation with english skills exceeding my own. Her level of sophistication and deception are something I have never encountered with anyone, let alone a potential wife.

Would the US Embassy in her city be at all interested in my evidence of her behavior? I would be delighted if she were put on a "black list" but....maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part.

Additionally, I would not want to get on a watch list myself, for being associated with such person.

How did you find out?

What were the "signs" or suspicious behavior that made you think that she was being unfaithful?

Did the two of you spend any time together before you went into the long distance relationship?

How did the two of you meet?

What are the age differences, if any?

[NY_BX 397]

This may be a bit off topic for VisaJourney, as it never became a formal visa journey.

But the discussion may prove of value for someone who finds they are in a similar situation.

I recently (just this week) returned from a trip to Russia to see my girlfriend of several years

for the New Years holidays. After many months of suspiciouns, unfortunately or fortunately, I

discovered massive infidelity on the scale worthy of a salacious Hollywood motion picture.

Not only was she bedding dozens of work, school and social acquaintances, she was actively planning future

carnal and business opportunity options upon her arrival in the US once our fiancee visa was approved.

I am sure that within a few months, she shall enlist another candidate to submit an I-129F as part of her "do whatever it takes" approach to getting herself to terra firma in the USA.

I certainly blame my nativity; I was deceived by her, she is a lawyer with a high level position in a multinational corporation with english skills exceeding my own. Her level of sophistication and deception are something I have never encountered with anyone, let alone a potential wife.

Would the US Embassy in her city be at all interested in my evidence of her behavior? I would be delighted if she were put on a "black list" but....maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part.

Additionally, I would not want to get on a watch list myself, for being associated with such person.

First, I am so sorry about this situation, but like you cleverly state, it is a blessing you found out now. Remember- rejection means God's protection

Second, don't let the education and job fool you and don't ever put yourself down. I, for example, am a lawyer (entertainment) and do not come close to that behavior. If anything, your writing skills are beyond superb, judging by this post. I am curious to know more and even taking a stab into testing the salacious worth of the "Hollywood" theatrical work.

Third, that said, do not blame yourself for the deceptive conduct of this parasite. She maybe have the comfort of a good job, but that's where it ends.

And if it has ended, in conclusion, start a new begining.... do not delay a worthy ending for your story. Not all good endings are happy endings. Good endings are the ones that provide resolution to all the questions posed. So, in my humble opinion, since you didn't actually petitioned for her, there's nothing you can do. Therefore, a "blacklist" is just a short meaningless resolution. Think long-term, think healing, think karma.... it will come to her. I believe the worst thing that can happen to her is to be petitioned by someone else and be denied on their own merit (be it fraud or deceipt) then she finding out you moved to someone else. She will call you back. These people are very narcissistic; they really believe they're able to manipulate anyone as they please. Once she finds herself helpless, you received your payback.

Now, if you're fueled with anger, strong enough to have the need of revenge, I like the idea of starting a campaign against scammers. In fact, maybe some folks should organize and start a website or some sort of mobilizing campaign.

Again, I'm sorry you were an "almost victim of fraud" and a true victim of love.

Good luck!

[Chicagoguy 2 27]

freshaire,

Check out www.russianwomendiscussion.com to meet and talk with many Western men interested in Russian and FSU womwn. Much information and opinions plus contributions form the women. Can be a lifeasver.

[sergeman 0]

she is a lawyer with a high level position in a multinational corporation with english skills exceeding my own. Her level of sophistication and deception are something I have never encountered with anyone,

Sounds like an every man's dream girl. Give me her phone number, I will marry her.

[Boiler 45,499]

Exactly what evidence do you have, you say that you found out she was double timing, written, photographic?

[rok 3]

If you loved her just forgive her and try to forget the whole things. Even as potential match, you seem to confess she is better than you. So a practical advice anyone can give you is to go for a girl who takes pride in having you as your life partner. Hope you understand my feelings.

As a manly approach you should talk to her directly and give her opportunity to present her stand. Who knows she can be truly yours…….

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

As far as evidence, what i do have are some completed, but not submitted, application forms from her indicating her general intent to apply. And lots of info indicating relationships with other men while with me. I do not have anything, like an email from her to a friend, wherein she states something like "i cant wait to get to the US and then ditch this guy.." or similar.

Maybe, as others have said, the best i can do is show the embassy her dark side and advise them not to take everything at face value.

DOES OP have evidence? It does not sound like there is...but it does sound like he means well to possibly alerting others for the future, if her intentions were fraud in order to move to the U.S.

I, and others, are personally paying indirectly for past FRAUD cases in my husband's consulate with the strict (almost unfair) procedures placed on interviewing and slim acceptance ratio now...

I feel now with hindsight and the invaluable help of VJ... being denied was related to the past abuse of beneficiaries and applicants, not only adding emotional tolls but becoming even more costly to travel again, marry and re apply...So Fraud can effect others in trickle down effects too. There is my 2 cents....

I say write a written letter to the embassy stating what you found and let them figure it out while doing a correct job weeding out the Fraudulent Requests.

[Noah Lot 391]

This may be a bit off topic for VisaJourney, as it never became a formal visa journey.

But the discussion may prove of value for someone who finds they are in a similar situation.

I recently (just this week) returned from a trip to Russia to see my girlfriend of several years

for the New Years holidays. After many months of suspiciouns, unfortunately or fortunately, I

discovered massive infidelity on the scale worthy of a salacious Hollywood motion picture.

Not only was she bedding dozens of work, school and social acquaintances, she was actively planning future

carnal and business opportunity options upon her arrival in the US once our fiancee visa was approved.

I am sure that within a few months, she shall enlist another candidate to submit an I-129F as part of her "do whatever it takes" approach to getting herself to terra firma in the USA.

I certainly blame my nativity; I was deceived by her, she is a lawyer with a high level position in a multinational corporation with english skills exceeding my own. Her level of sophistication and deception are something I have never encountered with anyone, let alone a potential wife.

Would the US Embassy in her city be at all interested in my evidence of her behavior? I would be delighted if she were put on a "black list" but....maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part.

Additionally, I would not want to get on a watch list myself, for being associated with such person.

By all means send the embassy your thoughts along with her name....this sort of thing is quite common and just a few words from you might work wonders on her chances of getting to the US of A legally.

[LnS 1]

I didn't read all the messages here, so I apologize if you answered this already, but how did you find out she was being deceitful? Maybe that's personal and you don't want to divulge that but it's very interesting for me and might be beneficial to myself or others. Either way, you should feel very fortunate that you learned her true nature before you invested more time, emotion and money into the process. You're now free to pursue your true soul mate.

Edited January 8, 2012 by Lennard

[SuperDuper! 230]

OP, recently, another VJ'r had a scamming COLUMBIAN girl friend, who played his wallet like a fiddle while going thru the visa process with him, then she jumped out at the last minute and went on to the next guy.

I could not believe how much support the SCAMMER girl got from the VJ community here. THey basically ridiculed that OP for suggesting that he might inform the USCIS of the potential BENEFICIARY's shady lady behavior. I don't know why folks are so strongly opinionated in sympathizing for scammers.

It should be one's duty to inform the USCIS of a malevolent and treacherous hearted lady (or man) who goes around victimizing a petitioner who is honestly looking for love. We need to have little tolerance for disloyalty and not offer room for excuses or doubt for scammers. They are the scum of the immigration earth and cause much heartache and damage to hardworking US petitioners EVERYWHERE. No mercy for 'em! Word.

Peace.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

i sure hope mcat doesn't read this thread and get any bright ideas.

[zuyzuy 0]

Seems like you are a bit emotional. Probably rightfully so. However, when we are emotional we tend to frame things to the angle we want to see. Seeing Only Emotional Validation I think they call it.

Let things calm down a bit before your take action. Surely, the universe will work things out. And if she truly is a bad person, l'm sure it will come back to her somehow.

[giantkoolit2011 0]

Well for me..she will not complete the entire process if you become uncooperative or if you will not cooperate anymore with the succeeding procedure for the petition. If you were questioned for being uncooperative and why you withdraw communication to all concerned agency, then that's the hint for you to tell the truth. Anyway, it is you who will still decide whether you want to petition her or not.

Well for me..she will not complete the entire process if you become uncooperative or if you will not cooperate anymore with the succeeding procedure for the petition. If you were questioned for being uncooperative and why you withdraw communication to all concerned agency, then that's the hint for you to tell the truth. Anyway, it is you who will still decide whether you want to petition her or not.

[giantkoolit2011 0]

If you withdraw your cooperation for the petition process, she will not be able to complete her journey to the US. So the decision is yours.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

This may be a bit off topic for VisaJourney, as it never became a formal visa journey.

But the discussion may prove of value for someone who finds they are in a similar situation.

I recently (just this week) returned from a trip to Russia to see my girlfriend of several years

for the New Years holidays. After many months of suspiciouns, unfortunately or fortunately, I

discovered massive infidelity on the scale worthy of a salacious Hollywood motion picture.

Not only was she bedding dozens of work, school and social acquaintances, she was actively planning future

carnal and business opportunity options upon her arrival in the US once our fiancee visa was approved.

I am sure that within a few months, she shall enlist another candidate to submit an I-129F as part of her "do whatever it takes" approach to getting herself to terra firma in the USA.

I certainly blame my nativity; I was deceived by her, she is a lawyer with a high level position in a multinational corporation with english skills exceeding my own. Her level of sophistication and deception are something I have never encountered with anyone, let alone a potential wife.

Would the US Embassy in her city be at all interested in my evidence of her behavior? I would be delighted if she were put on a "black list" but....maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part.

Additionally, I would not want to get on a watch list myself, for being associated with such person.

No one in the government cares that your girlfreind was sleeping around. Why would they?

Maintianing a Russian girlfriend for "years" in a LDR was a stupid idea, would never work. RUB women are very clever indeed, they are not for beginners.

I do not think anyone would consider you a danger.

I also sewriously question her desire to actually come to the USA. Someone with her qualifications will do very well in Russia, particularly when supplemented with cash from American men. I am certain you were not the only one she was getting a check from

You never state if you filed an I-129f, I think probably no, but at any rate, unless she lied to the consulate they would have no interest in her.

Edited January 8, 2012 by Gary and Alla