Should I rat on my scammer girlfriend?

[freshaire 0]

This may be a bit off topic for VisaJourney, as it never became a formal visa journey.

But the discussion may prove of value for someone who finds they are in a similar situation.

I recently (just this week) returned from a trip to Russia to see my girlfriend of several years

for the New Years holidays. After many months of suspiciouns, unfortunately or fortunately, I

discovered massive infidelity on the scale worthy of a salacious Hollywood motion picture.

Not only was she bedding dozens of work, school and social acquaintances, she was actively planning future

carnal and business opportunity options upon her arrival in the US once our fiancee visa was approved.

I am sure that within a few months, she shall enlist another candidate to submit an I-129F as part of her "do whatever it takes" approach to getting herself to terra firma in the USA.

I certainly blame my nativity; I was deceived by her, she is a lawyer with a high level position in a multinational corporation with english skills exceeding my own. Her level of sophistication and deception are something I have never encountered with anyone, let alone a potential wife.

Would the US Embassy in her city be at all interested in my evidence of her behavior? I would be delighted if she were put on a "black list" but....maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part.

Additionally, I would not want to get on a watch list myself, for being associated with such person.

[together4evr 360]

I am glad you found out the truth

Have you sent the petition yet?

If you did please email USCIS to cancel it and they should mail you a confirmation of the cancellation.

If you sent it already then if you send another petition for a foreigner you may get asked some questions but it should not be a problem.

Please report her so she is at least questioned during her next interview

[Olomi_811 130]

Doesn't appear that you filed a petition and sounds like you only want revenge. Cut your losses, count your blessings, and let it go. She'll eventually get what's due.

[Hank_ 9,174]

There is a website, I want to say it is called dragonladies.org , quick check with google and I found the site http://dragonladies.org/bbs/ that is the essense of the site - putting the word out on those types. Who knows maybe she is already listed on there...

[jojolicious 38]

Just be happy that you found out about her before you started the process

[freshaire 0]

I am glad you found out the truth

Have you sent the petition yet?

If you did please email USCIS to cancel it and they should mail you a confirmation of the cancellation.

If you sent it already then if you send another petition for a foreigner you may get asked some questions but it should not be a problem.

Please report her so she is at least questioned during her next interview

Luckily, this trip happened weeks before we planned to submit documents.

I feel that putting her info on a scammer website is rather passive. Its a longshot that another man would find out about her unless he searched that site etc. I would rather be aiming at a more direct complaint to the Embassy where she is likely to go for a future interview.

Sure, there is an argument for "cutting your losses and letting it go", and maybe in time that is what I shall choose I must do. But for now, 2 years of time, countless gifts, and a dozen international trips later, I would not feel content unless I knew i was at least making a best effort to subvert her sleazy goals.

[El Cachalote 12]

Just walk away. It is easy. Start your life anew...it's 2012! Also, when we chose to love something...we take risks...and there may be losses. Do not let her become your white whale and you Ahab. If it's simple to alert the proper authorities, then do so, but I would not put too much time into it....walk away.

Edited January 7, 2012 by El Cachalote

[Kajikit 65]

If you haven't formally filed the paperwork, you don't have any real ground for a formal complaint against her. Anybody can SAY stuff - but where's the proof? You could just be a jealous ex wanting to spoil her life. I'm sorry you got hurt by her, but thank goodness you found out now before you invested yourself any further in her.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

That seems more common that some folks want to admit. Woman smart. Man stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is7FKcywuhI

[sachinky 465]

If I were in your position, I'd let the concerned embassy know the facts in a written statement. Then cut your losses and move on. If she tries this with another naive USC petitioner, then her motives and intentions will be scrutinized.

And of course, karma is a b!tch.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Do you have any evidence? You said you found out about it but unless you have evidence that her relationship with you was fraudulent, that she was involved with you just to get to the US, then they just won't listen. They'll put a flag on her for sure then, but that doesn't "black list" her, it just says she scammed ONE person and to look a little harder at whatever person is applying for her now. They also MIGHT listen if you let them know that you were involved with her since X just in case she starts a visa with someone and the dates overlap.

Best you can do is call ICE (info at the bottom of the page) and ask them whether they can do anything.

[freshaire 0]

Do you have any evidence? You said you found out about it but unless you have evidence that her relationship with you was fraudulent, that she was involved with you just to get to the US, then they just won't listen. They'll put a flag on her for sure then, but that doesn't "black list" her, it just says she scammed ONE person and to look a little harder at whatever person is applying for her now. They also MIGHT listen if you let them know that you were involved with her since X just in case she starts a visa with someone and the dates overlap.

Best you can do is call ICE (info at the bottom of the page) and ask them whether they can do anything.

As far as evidence, what i do have are some completed, but not submitted, application forms from her indicating her general intent to apply. And lots of info indicating relationships with other men while with me. I do not have anything, like an email from her to a friend, wherein she states something like "i cant wait to get to the US and then ditch this guy.." or similar.

Maybe, as others have said, the best i can do is show the embassy her dark side and advise them not to take everything at face value.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

As far as evidence, what i do have are some completed, but not submitted, application forms from her indicating her general intent to apply. And lots of info indicating relationships with other men while with me. I do not have anything, like an email from her to a friend, wherein she states something like "i cant wait to get to the US and then ditch this guy.." or similar.

Maybe, as others have said, the best i can do is show the embassy her dark side and advise them not to take everything at face value.

That's all you can do. I personally recommend you do. I don't believe you should just "let it go". It's not JUST about revenge, it's also about protecting other people she's scamming. People who tell you to let it go are the kind of people who walk the other way if they see a crime being committed, it's the same situation. You're not demanding retribution, you're handing over your information and if it helps someone else, it does. If it doesn't, oh well, you tried.

I would also put her on that Dragon Ladies site.

[Stu4Lee 66]

OP.....Have you filed I-129F petition/s before?

[bigdog 376]

Withdraw your paperwork, cut your losses.