Where to start?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Did I advise the OP to sell his asset and transfer it to her account? I told him to save all the hassles by skipping the "unnecessary" steps. (he already proposed that step in the very last entry of his post).

There isn't a single member of this forum with a fiancee/wife from Vietnam who didn't consider that they might end up moving to Vietnam if every attempt at getting a visa failed, but nobody puts that option first on their list, which is precisely what you were suggesting that he do.

In regards to your statement, you ARE THE ONE who is attacking other VJ member (me) at the moment. And that's against the TOS.

Hardly. I compared your statement with the statements from a previous member who had a serious problem with non Viet Kieu marrying girls from Vietnam. I made no personal attack against you, but your statements are fair game.

Do you realize for Vietnam Consulate a K-1 route is almost a guarantee for failure? K-1 route tends to be favored by people who committed in fake/arranged marriages (VN I'm talking about now) and the US Consulate knows how to turn away those people, by rejecting those petitions as much as they can.

The approval rate for spousal visas in HCMC is no better than for K1's. The only exception is if the petitioner and beneficiary previously tried and failed to get a K1, in which case the odds of approval for a subsequent spousal visa are slightly better. The odds of approval on a second attempt are always better.

K1's are also preferred in VN by many legitimate couples because of the onerous process for foreigners marrying VN nationals in Vietnam. Not everyone has the option of spending several weeks jumping through bureaucratic hoops in VN when they could get married in the US at the county clerk's office in 20 minutes. This, in fact, is the primary reason the K1 exists.

There is also a perception in VN that the odds of approval for a spousal visa are better than they are for a K1, which you apparently share. You can be certain that if you believe this is true then many of the scammers also believe it, and would opt for a spousal visa if they thought it would improve their chances of getting a visa. A spousal visa is also preferable for certain scammers because it means they don't have to spend months in the US keeping up the charade that they are in love with the petitioner while waiting for their green card.

In short, the chances of a K1 beneficiary being a scammer are no higher than they are for a spousal visa beneficiary.

[brian_n_phuong 193]

JIM: 1 Dau Que: 0

[JSW 0]

I have to say Jim's arguments are very compelling, they are all suported by fact, logic and not hear'say. It does apear the best choice to start is a K-1 visa

Thanks alot for all the debate its best to see both sides of any possability.

[CGivens 1]

I have to say Jim's arguments are very compelling, they are all suported by fact, logic and not hear'say. It does apear the best choice to start is a K-1 visa

Thanks alot for all the debate its best to see both sides of any possability.

Jim's the best in the house indeed. He'll follow you all the way and be your marriage counselor as well. Didn't you know that?

Lots and lots folks in here have been happily forever, thanks to Jim.

That is if she decides to agree and co-operate with you once she's got what she wanted. (you can ask her what she wanted on your own time and effort)

JIM: 1 Dau Que: 0

Wait til Ms. Phuong got her citizenship first, Brian. It's a bit premature to make that conclusion for now, IMHO. Jim knows what I'm referring to.

[CGivens 1]

There isn't a single member of this forum with a fiancee/wife from Vietnam who didn't consider that they might end up moving to Vietnam if every attempt at getting a visa failed, but nobody puts that option first on their list, which is precisely what you were suggesting that he do.

Your statement is NOT true/correct at all. I see lots and lots of cases here on VJ where people mentioned AFTER their spouses from VN moved to the US and stayed til he/she got the GC/citizenship, they both moved back to VN.

I just wanna let the OP know of one possible scenario that may happen to him in a very near future. If that happens, then he shouldn't "waste" $$$ bringing her here. Save the trouble and $$$ and move to VN now. At least that makes more sense to me.

But we're talking about VN here, where there have been lots of marriages in which the groom's own children ages are even OLDER than the brides. If my daughter marries such man, I wouldn't exactly walk on the streets looking at my people I know with my head high.

[brian_n_phuong 193]

Wait til Ms. Phuong got her citizenship first, Brian. It's a bit premature to make that conclusion for now, IMHO. Jim knows what I'm referring to.

The person that sponsored you into this country is probably thinking the same thing right now, what a waste of a refugee visa.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Your statement is NOT true/correct at all. I see lots and lots of cases here on VJ where people mentioned AFTER their spouses from VN moved to the US and stayed til he/she got the GC/citizenship, they both moved back to VN.

I just wanna let the OP know of one possible scenario that may happen to him in a very near future. If that happens, then he shouldn't "waste" $$ bringing her here. Save the trouble and $$ and move to VN now. At least that makes more sense to me.

But we're talking about VN here, where there have been lots of marriages in which the groom's own children ages are even OLDER than the brides. If my daughter marries such man, I wouldn't exactly walk on the streets looking at my people I know with my head high.

Dau Que. That would be a lie. In fact most of the ones that have gone through here are still together. It has been rare but has happened that it failed. Only one time years ago when a babe cheated and left her hubby. Now please prove me wrong and find the ones and post the links or tell me who to refresh my memory.

Now personally the OP we have no idea what stage they are at but so far it seems very early and from the little I grasped they seem too fresh.

[quann 26]

OP, why don't you wait and meet the girl first to see if you guys are compatible before planning your lives together already?

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

[JSW 0]

Yes I know we are new and have only known each other a few months so yes it is early in our relationship. I know what the goals are that we hope and wish for together. We talk every night and I know I have found the woman beyond anything I could have dreamed of.....but, untill we do actualy meet then it is just a dream. I do plan on visiting her in the next couple of months I just needed to wait for the holidays to clear befor I could start making any concreat plans for a trip to VN. Curently I am working on my passport and I should have that in the next week and then I plan on getting the tourist visa. As much as I want things to work out for the best between us I do understand that it is for the best we meet first and take things one step at a time. I want her as my best friend, and loveing wife for the rest of my life but in order for that to happen we cant rush headlong into something we may regreat. So yes this meeting will be the primary deciding factor to a life together. Thanks for words of caution. Being 42 and divorced with 2 kids already I know full well the consequences of marriage. I thought I would only marry once and never again but in finding Hoa it has let me see a light I never thought I would look for again.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Yes I know we are new and have only known each other a few months so yes it is early in our relationship. I know what the goals are that we hope and wish for together. We talk every night and I know I have found the woman beyond anything I could have dreamed of.....but, untill we do actualy meet then it is just a dream. I do plan on visiting her in the next couple of months I just needed to wait for the holidays to clear befor I could start making any concreat plans for a trip to VN. Curently I am working on my passport and I should have that in the next week and then I plan on getting the tourist visa. As much as I want things to work out for the best between us I do understand that it is for the best we meet first and take things one step at a time. I want her as my best friend, and loveing wife for the rest of my life but in order for that to happen we cant rush headlong into something we may regreat. So yes this meeting will be the primary deciding factor to a life together. Thanks for words of caution. Being 42 and divorced with 2 kids already I know full well the consequences of marriage. I thought I would only marry once and never again but in finding Hoa it has let me see a light I never thought I would look for again.

After only a few months, well good. At least you are trying to sort things out ahead of time. Go and visit and see if you two survive a meeting at the least. Babes online do seem awesome.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Your statement is NOT true/correct at all. I see lots and lots of cases here on VJ where people mentioned AFTER their spouses from VN moved to the US and stayed til he/she got the GC/citizenship, they both moved back to VN.

I haven't seen the specific cases you're talking about. However, I do know the situation you're talking about and it's not what you were recommending to the OP. The whole point of waiting until the VN immigrant becomes a US citizen is so that they can come and go freely between both countries. Many couples become like the "Snowbirds" of Canada in their retirement years, and travel to Vietnam for the winter and return to the US for the summer. Most do NOT move permanently back to Vietnam after they become US citizens. That would be pointless.

You suggested to the OP that he skip the immigration process and just move to Vietnam, making him a perennial guest in Vietnam and denying his wife a chance to ever come to the US. While this would allow them to be together, it usually means the US citizen is giving up the chance of a relatively comfortable life in the US, and the VN citizen's situation doesn't change much at all. Most consider this a last resort. Suggesting they do this now is like telling someone who is 40 years old to go ahead and take a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart because that's probably what they're going to be stuck with when they're 65 years old.

I just wanna let the OP know of one possible scenario that may happen to him in a very near future. If that happens, then he shouldn't "waste" $$$ bringing her here. Save the trouble and $$$ and move to VN now. At least that makes more sense to me.

You didn't present it as "one possible scenario". You presented it as an inevitable fact. Here are your words:

The best would be selling everything now and move to VN. Eventually she would ask you to do the same anyway, after she moves here in the US for a short period of time. Save yourself money and the trouble. Do that now. Then if your relationship with her doesn't work out, you can move back to the States, assuming she and her family are nice enough to leave you some left-over money to bring home.

But we're talking about VN here, where there have been lots of marriages in which the groom's own children ages are even OLDER than the brides. If my daughter marries such man, I wouldn't exactly walk on the streets looking at my people I know with my head high.

Finally, something we could agree on, if only it were true. My wife has a large family, both here in the US and in Vietnam. Consequently, I've met a LOT of Vietnamese people, especially when we've gone to weddings and funerals. I've seen a lot of marriages involving an American guy and a Vietnamese girl. I only know of one where the age difference matches what you've described. I've met the girl's family, and I know her father pretty well. It's true that he was reluctant to have his daughter marry a much older American guy at first, but he seemed to get over it. I attended both their Dam Hoi ceremony and party in Vietnam, and her dad was having a great time. Half the village was also at the party, and he didn't seem to least bit ashamed to show off his new American son in-law.

An older husband is pretty common in Vietnam, but very large age differences are not so common. Vietnam isn't the Philippines.

I'm in my early 50's and my wife is in her mid 40's. Our kids are about the same age.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Do you realize for Vietnam Consulate a K-1 route is almost a guarantee for failure? K-1 route tends to be favored by people who committed in fake/arranged marriages (VN I'm talking about now) and the US Consulate knows how to turn away those people, by rejecting those petitions as much as they can.

Hmm? Never heard that . Did the k-1, 10months from time of filing to her arrival on my door step. Post a link to your findings, I sure like to know.

P.S Da que or whoever you are were still together. Sorry you had such a bad experience. Once again your post are worthless garbage.

Edited January 16, 2012 by Sayha or bust.

[brian_n_phuong 193]

P.S Da que or whoever you are were still together. Sorry you had such a bad experience. Once again your post are worthless garbage.

Not to worry, I have been informed by a confidential source that the latest resurrection of Dau Que has been banned from VJ.

You can be assured that he will return at some point in the future, after he can find an unlisted Proxy server to hide his cowardly presence..

[ScottThuy 140]

Do you realize for Vietnam Consulate a K-1 route is almost a guarantee for failure? K-1 route tends to be favored by people who committed in fake/arranged marriages (VN I'm talking about now) and the US Consulate knows how to turn away those people, by rejecting those petitions as much as they can.

Misinformation...Valid Statistics are provided in the VN regional pinned topic.