am i overreacting about this porn thing?

[Robert&Karen 264]

I can't believe some people are trivializing this issue as a like/dislike porn thing. That some people are even defending this guy is beyond me.

And out there in the world you will find couples who do this all the time and more and they are fine with it. It's not illegal, it's just not what both parties want. If that is the life he wants he may be doing it alone at this rate.

[NevermindVz 51]

And out there in the world you will find couples who do this all the time and more and they are fine with it. It's not illegal, it's just not what both parties want. If that is the life he wants he may be doing it alone at this rate.

Are you talking about mental and verbal abuse? Because if you read my post, that's what I was talking about. Thanks for replying though.

[Robert&Karen 264]

Are you talking about mental and verbal abuse? Because if you read my post, that's what I was talking about. Thanks for replying though.

Yes, have you heard of dom/sub? Like I said, there is something for everyone. Maybe she is not for him. On the flip side he will argue he is not abusive and can post that she never listens, and then he looks like the good guy. Very hard to take sides when you only hear one side.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Gah! OMG what is wrong with people! Porn is bad! It is evil! Jeez.

You know what bothered me about the original post. Not that this chick said her old man was watching porno while she was away. The fact that she said he had been physically and verbally abusive to her in the past. Yet everybody just seems to have glossed over that!!! Why?

Here's the real life truth, folks. Porn is a low level marital sin. I'd take a guy (any day of the week) that watches him some porno before I'd take a wife beater or a bully.

Some of you need to figure out what really IS worth war in a marriage. Really you do.

[NevermindVz 51]

Yes, have you heard of dom/sub? Like I said, there is something for everyone. Maybe she is not for him. On the flip side he will argue he is not abusive and can post that she never listens, and then he looks like the good guy. Very hard to take sides when you only hear one side.

I do agree with you last part, we do not know his side, that's why I'm commenting based on what she said.

Now, with regards to the first part and your previous reply... So the OP (feels) is being abused, without her consent of course, and your best reply is "hey, there's something for everyone!". Yeah, I think I'm done with this thread. Domestic violence should not be condoned in any form.

To the OP, as I said before, I think you're taking the right steps. I wish you the best of luck

ETA: Previous post summarizing key points the OP stated: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/345229-am-i-overreacting-about-this-porn-thing/page__view__findpost__p__5088498

Edited January 7, 2012 by NevermindVz

[Operator 1,927]

Gah! OMG what is wrong with people! Porn is bad! It is evil! Jeez.

You know what bothered me about the original post. Not that this chick said her old man was watching porno while she was away. The fact that she said he had been physically and verbally abusive to her in the past. Yet everybody just seems to have glossed over that!!! Why?

Here's the real life truth, folks. Porn is a low level marital sin. I'd take a guy (any day of the week) that watches him some porno before I'd take a wife beater or a bully.

Some of you need to figure out what really IS worth war in a marriage. Really you do.

Not to drag this thread out any further but I don't see where she claims to have been physically abused. Not to minimize verbal and mental abuse but I think if she had claimed physical abuse then this thread would have taken a much different tack. Maybe I missed it somewhere in this long post.

[Darnell 8,479]

her man gave her HPV ? holy mother o gOd.

[CristyH 0]

Going to chime in here and say I don't think the issue is porn but rather trust. Had he come clean and said hey I like this she would have had a choice in if it was ok or not. The way he is doing it is sneaky and makes it seem dirtier than it may be. That being said all porn is not the same. There is tame stuff and there is totally whacked out stuff that is only for the truly deviant. In that category would be incest. That and the paying for webcam stuff would have been dealbreakers for me and sounds like for the OP too had she known. I wonder too how much having a younger wife plays into his fantasies.

[jojolicious 38]

You are definitely not overreacting. He's doing way too much. Paying for webcam girls, incest stuff, sneaking to the sex store and buying dvds, having an "i don't care" attitude when you confront him, the abuse (whether verbal, emotional, physical, financial)...

Counselling would be a good first step

[Peter_Pan 661]

her man gave her HPV ? holy mother o gOd.

Yes, that's 1000 times more serious than fapping to "Twin Girls Help Out a Lonesome Ranger" (which, BTW, also qualifies as incest). HPV leads to serious health issues, including cancer.

Edited January 8, 2012 by Peter_Pan

[Robert&Karen 264]

HPV is nothing guys know they have. We re simply carrier and the women pay the price. I doubt he did it intentionally, but if he knows he has it he needs to disclose it. isn't HPV among 50% of the women today?

[rlogan 2,036]

It's interesting to hear people that mutilate the sex organs of their children screeching about people who look at pictures.

[alexzy75 1]

I do agree with you last part, we do not know his side, that's why I'm commenting based on what she said.

Now, with regards to the first part and your previous reply... So the OP (feels) is being abused, without her consent of course, and your best reply is "hey, there's something for everyone!". Yeah, I think I'm done with this thread. Domestic violence should not be condoned in any form.

To the OP, as I said before, I think you're taking the right steps. I wish you the best of luck

ETA: Previous post summarizing key points the OP stated: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/345229-am-i-overreacting-about-this-porn-thing/page__view__findpost__p__5088498

ok, we all know what is the side of the story of the guy in those case:

I am not doing anything wrong, for it is not illegal to watch porn! and so what if i want to have fun!

Isnt that such a dumb, limited, retard, blinded answer that only simple minds do, is it?

My answer would be:

so you dummy! idiot ( i am talking about the idiotic husband that doens thave 2 buscks of common sense and values),:it is legal does that mean it is right?! no, watches porn is morally wrong when you are into a commited relationship and yoru wife is against it! :bonk:

He betrayed her, her trust! SO it is REALLY WRONG. PERIOD.

it is not like they are both on the same page abotu porn.

LArry FLint did such a blessing to America by fighting for it to be legal....he just led this country a closer to the sewage! :thumbs:

[rlogan 2,036]

Isnt that such a dumb, limited, retard, blinded answer that only simple minds do, is it?

Since you are being this judgemental, then what is to be said about the woman that is so delusional she actually believes her husband is thinking about her when his eyes are closed during sex?

And what should we say about such a delusional person that she is willing to attack other people for something that is going on in her own relationship? Even if your husband doesn't watch what qualifies as porn under the legal standard, he's getting a big woodie from lingerie ads, swimsuit models, and the like. There's soft porn everywhere you look on television, movies, and mass media of every form. Your husband "violates your trust" whenever he's cleverly hiding his glance at that hot little rump passing by or making mental note of that little scrumpet on TV for later use in the bedroom with you.

LArry FLint did such a blessing to America by fighting for it to be legal....he just led this country a closer to the sewage!

He sure did. Thanks, Larry. I don't read your magazines but I appreciate the victory for freedom.

Husbands and wives need to be respectful of each other's feelings of course, and that is why men lie about watching porn, fantasizing during sex, masturbation, etc. But the thing you can't do is attack other people based on your own delusional thinking. Of course your husband lies to you about his fantasies regarding other women while he is having sex with you. You are welcome to that delusion so long as it doesn't bring harm to others.

But when you take that delusion of yours and go on the offensive with this hypocritical holier-than-thou attitude, condemning people and being mentally abusive at a minimum - now you represent a danger to society. I remember how torn I was when maturing sexually, having normal feelings that were labelled as sinful and evil by liars and hypocrites.