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am i overreacting about this porn thing?

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Dan & Jenni Proficient

Dan & Jenni   457

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: England
 Timeline
Posted

Giving an opinion is not passing verdict. She told us what happened and told us what she saw. Everyone voiced what they thought, there's nothing sad about it. Maybe we shouldn't do that anymore and just "see the goodness" in everyone, including those who watch incest porn.

Matt

Bingo!

actually i think you will find that calling someone a "sicko" is passing verdict

I-129F SENT............................................08/15/2011

NOA1 TEXT/EMAIL...................................08/22/2011

NOA2 TEXT/EMAIL. NO RFE.....................01/05/2012

NVC RECEIVED......................................01/21/2012

NVC LEFT...............................................01/24/2012

PACKET 3 RECEIVED..............................02/01/2012

PACKET 3 RETURNED.............................02/04/2012

MEDICAL................................................02/17/2012

DS-2001 MAILED.....................................02/23/2012

PACKET 4 RECEIVED..............................03/02/2012

INTERVIEW............................................03/14/2012 APPROVED

POE ATLANTA.........................................04/03/2012

AOS approved 3/29/13 after almost 10 months of waiting. No RFE's and no interview.

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VanessaTony
VanessaTony

There's a difference between HAS looked at porn and IS looking at porn. I know for 10000% sure that Tony doesn't look at porn. He doesn't go to strip clubs (and wouldn't). I know he DID while he was

Kathryn41
Kathryn41

thread closed for review After review, I am re-opening this thread. Please remember that the OP has asked for advice. She has not asked for judgment and she certainly has not asked for condemnation.

Rebecca Jo
Rebecca Jo

Lookin' at porn is not an "open relationship".

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yapasdeprobleme Apprentice

yapasdeprobleme   4

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Guinea
 Timeline
Posted

This is kind of an obvious question but... Do you love this guy? Honestly haven't read anything that would indicate that you do, and everything else kind of sounds like a nightmare, so...

7/30/10 - 129F petition Sent to VSC

8/4/10 - NOA 1

10/3/10 - Touched

1/24/11 - Called VSC. Useless

2/1/11 - NOA 2 APPROVED TXT/Email notification

5/4/11 - Interview in Dakar

5/7/11 - Entry into USA @IAD

9/17/11 - AOS, EAD and AP mailed to USCIS

9/28/11 - NOA 1 rec'd for all three

10/18/11 - biometrics (missed due to illness)

12/5/11 - biometrics

12/23/11 - NOA 2- I485 moved to CSC

12/23/11 - EAD approved

1/13/12 - EAD rec'd - wrong DOB

VanessaTony Grand Master

VanessaTony   3,567

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted

someone here said that there seem to be other issues with him and of course yes, there have been but since in the last -almost- 2 yrs things had been great between us, I somehow tried to forget about everything that I had against him from the past, all the pain he had caused me, like, yelling at me when I was pregnant, lying about important things, putting his family first before my feelings, even giving me HPV and questioning if he was the one who gave it to me even when he knew he was my first... *sigh* I can't put into words how bad I felt in all those situations and how dumb, naive and submissive I was, as I had only tried to make things work by trying to forget and forgiving him, but now I know somehow I'm stronger and this situation that I'm going through now opened the box that I had hidden 3 ft under with all those hurtful memories and I wish I could just erase everything that was wrong and start brand new or simply find a way that I could go back home with my daughter and raise her with my parents in a healthy environment. I came to this country to be happy with him, not because I wanted to live here, in the past he even said that I married for the greencard and no, if God forbid something happened to him, I'd go back home because he's the reason why I came here, I had asked him to move to my country with me but he said no, so now I'm scared thinking that I'm done and that I have to find a solution, I started this topic focusing on what I'm going through right now but my mind keeps rewinding the tape about everything that had gone through in the first 3 yrs that I was here and no, it's about time I do something definite about it, I just don't know how to start...

Is your daughter his as well? If so you might end up having to stay here in the US in case he tells you you can't leave with her. IF you file for divorce you would need to get sole legal custody of you daughter in order to remove her from the country.

Where to start depends on your situation. First I would see a lawyer (without telling him) to discuss your options, discuss fees, and find out where you stand. If you're not already working you should look into jobs in your area and apartments in your area that you could afford. You should also look at government assistance. Some you aren't entitled to unless you've been an LPR for 5 years but some stuff (like WIC) you would be. You should look into what you need to get your daughter her passport for your home country, and also the US.

Aussie K1 process - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/206016-australian-beneficiaries-packet-3-to-interview-date/
AOS, EAD & AP - the Aussie Way (including document list) - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/235331-aos-ead-ap-from-k1-the-aussie-way-doc-list-included/
ROC April 2012 - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/358760-i-751-april-2012-filers/ (includes document list)
N-400 April 2013 - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/ (includes document list)

N-400 Interview review - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/?p=6381814

N-400 Oath Ceremony review - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/?p=6537699
Aussie Chat page continued - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/331922-new-2011-land-downunder-aussie-aussie-aussie-oi-oi-oi/
Aussie Name Change on Passport Process - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/248400-australian-passport-name-change-process/
Travel on maiden name passport with married name GC, tickets in married name - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/183541-land-downunder-aussie-aussie-aussie-oi-oi-oi/page__view__findpost__p__4135806
Shipping Costs from Aus to US - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/293179-shipping-costs-aus-to-usa/

Notes:
- For my "standard" timeline please see timeline to the left
- For timeline with Aussie specifics & more detailed info, please see the "About Me" section of my profile

Matt1968 Proficient

Matt1968   13

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Dominican Republic
 Timeline
Posted

actually i think you will find that calling someone a "sicko" is passing verdict

Actually I think calling someone who watches incest porn a sicko is an accurate assesment of indivual.

USCIC
11-29-11 I-130's mailed together for wife and stepdaughter
12-02-11 Delivered to lockbox
12-06-11 NOA1 wife(email)
12-06-11 NOA1 step-daughter(email)
12-10-11 NOA1 wife(hardcopy)
12-10-11 NOA1 step-daughter(hardcopy)
02-01-12 NOA2 Wife(Hardcopy)
02-01-12 NOA2 Step-daughter(hardcopy)
NVC
02-07-12 NVC received both Cases
02-10-12 NVC case #'s by phone
02-10-12 Received email/text notification of NOA2's
02-13-12 Received A.O.S bill/DS-3032 C.O.A for wife and step-daughter
02-13-12 Paid A.O.S bill/sent DS-3032 for wife and step-daughter
02-15-12 C.O.A accepted for wife and step-daughter
02-16-12 Recieved IV bill/Mail A.O.S by express mail for both
02-17-12 Paid IV bill for both

02-22-12 Mailed DS-230 for wife and daughter express mail
02-24-12 NVC received DS-230 for both
03-02-12 Cases complete
03-12-12 Interview date received (04/02/2012)
04-02-12 Interview and visa approved!
06-08-12 POE-Boston

Removal of conditions:

03-17-14 sent I-751 to VSC

03-25-14 received hardcopy of I-797 for wife but not step-daughter

03-26-14 step-daughter received hardcopy of I-797

04-28-14 Biometrics appt. for wife and step-daughter

09-09-14 Wife and step-daughter 10 year green card approval

09-18-14 Wife and step-daughter received 10 year green card in the mail

The process has been completed!

VanessaTony Grand Master

VanessaTony   3,567

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted

This is kind of an obvious question but... Do you love this guy? Honestly haven't read anything that would indicate that you do, and everything else kind of sounds like a nightmare, so...

She said in the OP they were very very happy and even trying for a second child. That indicates love to me.

Aussie K1 process - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/206016-australian-beneficiaries-packet-3-to-interview-date/
AOS, EAD & AP - the Aussie Way (including document list) - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/235331-aos-ead-ap-from-k1-the-aussie-way-doc-list-included/
ROC April 2012 - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/358760-i-751-april-2012-filers/ (includes document list)
N-400 April 2013 - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/ (includes document list)

N-400 Interview review - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/?p=6381814

N-400 Oath Ceremony review - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/?p=6537699
Aussie Chat page continued - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/331922-new-2011-land-downunder-aussie-aussie-aussie-oi-oi-oi/
Aussie Name Change on Passport Process - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/248400-australian-passport-name-change-process/
Travel on maiden name passport with married name GC, tickets in married name - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/183541-land-downunder-aussie-aussie-aussie-oi-oi-oi/page__view__findpost__p__4135806
Shipping Costs from Aus to US - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/293179-shipping-costs-aus-to-usa/

Notes:
- For my "standard" timeline please see timeline to the left
- For timeline with Aussie specifics & more detailed info, please see the "About Me" section of my profile

Dan & Jenni Proficient

Dan & Jenni   457

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: England
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

Actually I think calling someone who watches incest porn a sicko is an accurate assesment of indivual.

only in your opinion. like i said earlier... one mans perversion is another mans pleasure.

now that doesnt mean to say that i think incest is ok... it just means that it isnt my place to call anyone a sick... because that would be judging

Edited by Dan & Jenni

I-129F SENT............................................08/15/2011

NOA1 TEXT/EMAIL...................................08/22/2011

NOA2 TEXT/EMAIL. NO RFE.....................01/05/2012

NVC RECEIVED......................................01/21/2012

NVC LEFT...............................................01/24/2012

PACKET 3 RECEIVED..............................02/01/2012

PACKET 3 RETURNED.............................02/04/2012

MEDICAL................................................02/17/2012

DS-2001 MAILED.....................................02/23/2012

PACKET 4 RECEIVED..............................03/02/2012

INTERVIEW............................................03/14/2012 APPROVED

POE ATLANTA.........................................04/03/2012

AOS approved 3/29/13 after almost 10 months of waiting. No RFE's and no interview.

Matt1968 Proficient

Matt1968   13

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Dominican Republic
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

Ta da. Non-judgmental advice.

Giving advice, like most have here, is based on knowing facts. Then based on these facts and using your JUDGEMENT, you give the best advice you can.

Matt

only in your opinion. like i said earlier... one mans perversion is another mans pleasure.

now that doesnt mean to say that i think incest is ok... it just means that it isnt my place to call anyone a sick... because that would be judging

Like accusing VJ'ers of wearing black robes.. :rofl: kind of hypocritical right?

Edited by Matt1968

USCIC
11-29-11 I-130's mailed together for wife and stepdaughter
12-02-11 Delivered to lockbox
12-06-11 NOA1 wife(email)
12-06-11 NOA1 step-daughter(email)
12-10-11 NOA1 wife(hardcopy)
12-10-11 NOA1 step-daughter(hardcopy)
02-01-12 NOA2 Wife(Hardcopy)
02-01-12 NOA2 Step-daughter(hardcopy)
NVC
02-07-12 NVC received both Cases
02-10-12 NVC case #'s by phone
02-10-12 Received email/text notification of NOA2's
02-13-12 Received A.O.S bill/DS-3032 C.O.A for wife and step-daughter
02-13-12 Paid A.O.S bill/sent DS-3032 for wife and step-daughter
02-15-12 C.O.A accepted for wife and step-daughter
02-16-12 Recieved IV bill/Mail A.O.S by express mail for both
02-17-12 Paid IV bill for both

02-22-12 Mailed DS-230 for wife and daughter express mail
02-24-12 NVC received DS-230 for both
03-02-12 Cases complete
03-12-12 Interview date received (04/02/2012)
04-02-12 Interview and visa approved!
06-08-12 POE-Boston

Removal of conditions:

03-17-14 sent I-751 to VSC

03-25-14 received hardcopy of I-797 for wife but not step-daughter

03-26-14 step-daughter received hardcopy of I-797

04-28-14 Biometrics appt. for wife and step-daughter

09-09-14 Wife and step-daughter 10 year green card approval

09-18-14 Wife and step-daughter received 10 year green card in the mail

The process has been completed!

Max1gk Collaborator

Max1gk   68

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Italy
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

my friend,

your "husband" is a damn weirdo and the last person you would want to be with. You might say "easy to say that" but the reallity of the situation is that It's only gonna get worse,you can count on that. Like drugs and alchol, pornography is an addiction too and he's definitely at an advanced stage. As for the poster that was talking about "wife duties" I guess the train of evolution left someone behind. . .

I don't wanna sound harsh at you with my comments,but have more respect for yourself. No woman deserve to be with a porn addict who spends money on sex webcams..that's what losers do.

Edited by Max1gk
alexzy75 Contributor

alexzy75   1

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: France
 Timeline
Posted

just read through everything that you have said and i think you will realise that your answer is there. if love or something else is clouding your vision then let me tell you what i would do... walk away... go back to your own country and raise your daughter with your parents in an environment that you feel comfortable in. your husband is who he is (forget the porn because everyone has different ideas on what is normal or "sick") and that is unlikely to change and you are very unhappy by the sound of it... and that you can change.

well, if you think it is as easy as that to be radical and not to think about the family you are destroying...you are a fool. Or else I would have left the one i am involved with with our little son ...because, i didnt know, of course he didnt tell me about his addiction to porn to just find it by yourself, when it is too late.

I wish there was a way to get them on therapy for THE F****G FAMILY SAKES that we are trying to save because of their sickness.

giving_up Apprentice

giving_up   3

Posted
Filed: Timeline
  • Author
Posted

On a side note, I just checked my mail and received my uscis letter saying i have interview for my citizenship on feb 7th...

And yes, I do love my husband because he hadn't been bad all the time, like I stated before he has had his ups and downs but most of the time he was okay. He really tried to be change. Mainly these 2 yrs had helped me forget about everything that had been wrong before but to realize that he never took advantage of the chances I've given shows me he will never change for good and we'll always be going back to zero.

Adriene H Rising Star

Adriene H   89

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: United Kingdom
 Timeline
Posted

First off, guys look at porn (spelled pr0n online to avoid filters).

P0rn works too :devil:

I-130

2011-08-20 Posted

2011-08-31 NOA1

2011-09-03 Touch

2011-11-18 Sent Expedite Request to USCIS

2011-12-09 Response Received for Exepedite Request

"Wait your turn" in a nutshell

2011-12-02 Sent Expedite Request to US Representative Ed Royce

2012-01-27 Sent Expedite Request to Immigration Ombudsman

2012-02-02 Sent Expedite Request to Senator Barbara Boxer

2012-02-02 Sent Expedite Request to Senator Dianne Feinstein

2012-03-08 Case transferred to field office for additional processing

2012-03-23 Now being processed at a USCIS office

2012-05-10 Transferred to another office for processing

2012-05-14 Now being processed at a USCIS office

2012-06-05 Approved NOA2

2012-07-17 NVC Case/Invoice # Received

Petitioner: US Born Citizen (Wife)

Beneficiary: British Born Citizen (Husband)

Your I-130 was approved in 279 days from your NOA1 date

Crashed~N2~Me Proficient

Crashed~N2~Me   970

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

:blink: OP has been a VJ member since 2007. OP has not had any other name history. OP has not completed a timeline. OP has (only) 1 friend (I believe is a new add..don't think the friend was there yesterday).

:unsure: A bit curious. :unsure:

Edited by Crashed~N2~Me
VanessaTony Grand Master

VanessaTony   3,567

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted

On a side note, I just checked my mail and received my uscis letter saying i have interview for my citizenship on feb 7th...

And yes, I do love my husband because he hadn't been bad all the time, like I stated before he has had his ups and downs but most of the time he was okay. He really tried to be change. Mainly these 2 yrs had helped me forget about everything that had been wrong before but to realize that he never took advantage of the chances I've given shows me he will never change for good and we'll always be going back to zero.

Thats great news!! Are you applying based on 3 years or 5 years of being an LPR?

Aussie K1 process - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/206016-australian-beneficiaries-packet-3-to-interview-date/
AOS, EAD & AP - the Aussie Way (including document list) - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/235331-aos-ead-ap-from-k1-the-aussie-way-doc-list-included/
ROC April 2012 - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/358760-i-751-april-2012-filers/ (includes document list)
N-400 April 2013 - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/ (includes document list)

N-400 Interview review - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/?p=6381814

N-400 Oath Ceremony review - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/412738-n-400-april-2013-filers/?p=6537699
Aussie Chat page continued - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/331922-new-2011-land-downunder-aussie-aussie-aussie-oi-oi-oi/
Aussie Name Change on Passport Process - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/248400-australian-passport-name-change-process/
Travel on maiden name passport with married name GC, tickets in married name - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/183541-land-downunder-aussie-aussie-aussie-oi-oi-oi/page__view__findpost__p__4135806
Shipping Costs from Aus to US - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/293179-shipping-costs-aus-to-usa/

Notes:
- For my "standard" timeline please see timeline to the left
- For timeline with Aussie specifics & more detailed info, please see the "About Me" section of my profile

Dan & Jenni Proficient

Dan & Jenni   457

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: England
 Timeline
Posted

well, if you think it is as easy as that to be radical and not to think about the family you are destroying...you are a fool. Or else I would have left the one i am involved with with our little son ...because, i didnt know, of course he didnt tell me about his addiction to porn to just find it by yourself, when it is too late.

I wish there was a way to get them on therapy for THE F****G FAMILY SAKES that we are trying to save because of their sickness.

where did i say it was easy???

I-129F SENT............................................08/15/2011

NOA1 TEXT/EMAIL...................................08/22/2011

NOA2 TEXT/EMAIL. NO RFE.....................01/05/2012

NVC RECEIVED......................................01/21/2012

NVC LEFT...............................................01/24/2012

PACKET 3 RECEIVED..............................02/01/2012

PACKET 3 RETURNED.............................02/04/2012

MEDICAL................................................02/17/2012

DS-2001 MAILED.....................................02/23/2012

PACKET 4 RECEIVED..............................03/02/2012

INTERVIEW............................................03/14/2012 APPROVED

POE ATLANTA.........................................04/03/2012

AOS approved 3/29/13 after almost 10 months of waiting. No RFE's and no interview.

Matt1968 Proficient

Matt1968   13

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Dominican Republic
 Timeline
Posted

my friend,

your "husband" is a damn weirdo and the last person you would want to be with. You might say "easy to say that" but the reallity of the situation is that It's only gonna get worse,you can count on that. Like drugs and alchol, pornography is an addiction too and he's definitely at an advanced stage. As for the poster that was talking about "wife duties" I guess the train of evolution left someone behind. . .

I don't wanna sound harsh at you with my comments,but have more respect for yourself. No woman deserve to be with a porn addict who spends money on sex webcams..that's what losers do.

Couldn't agree more. You're absolutely right, it only gets worse with people like this. He's lied already, don't put yourself through that ####### anymore.

USCIC
11-29-11 I-130's mailed together for wife and stepdaughter
12-02-11 Delivered to lockbox
12-06-11 NOA1 wife(email)
12-06-11 NOA1 step-daughter(email)
12-10-11 NOA1 wife(hardcopy)
12-10-11 NOA1 step-daughter(hardcopy)
02-01-12 NOA2 Wife(Hardcopy)
02-01-12 NOA2 Step-daughter(hardcopy)
NVC
02-07-12 NVC received both Cases
02-10-12 NVC case #'s by phone
02-10-12 Received email/text notification of NOA2's
02-13-12 Received A.O.S bill/DS-3032 C.O.A for wife and step-daughter
02-13-12 Paid A.O.S bill/sent DS-3032 for wife and step-daughter
02-15-12 C.O.A accepted for wife and step-daughter
02-16-12 Recieved IV bill/Mail A.O.S by express mail for both
02-17-12 Paid IV bill for both

02-22-12 Mailed DS-230 for wife and daughter express mail
02-24-12 NVC received DS-230 for both
03-02-12 Cases complete
03-12-12 Interview date received (04/02/2012)
04-02-12 Interview and visa approved!
06-08-12 POE-Boston

Removal of conditions:

03-17-14 sent I-751 to VSC

03-25-14 received hardcopy of I-797 for wife but not step-daughter

03-26-14 step-daughter received hardcopy of I-797

04-28-14 Biometrics appt. for wife and step-daughter

09-09-14 Wife and step-daughter 10 year green card approval

09-18-14 Wife and step-daughter received 10 year green card in the mail

The process has been completed!

 
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