Very long Tourist Visa overstay

[Chris09 0]

I wasn't sure which forum was the right one but I hope this will work. I'm just looking for some help and/or suggestions. It will be long and maybe all this isn't necessary to include but I didn't wanna skip any details. Also in the thread title, I put Tourist Visa but I meant Visa Waiver Program.

My story is one of many consecutive bad decisions and now I found myself in a bad spot. I am from Sweden, born and raised. When I was 21 back in 2003, I met a woman quite a bit older than me (35) online and flew to the US to see her. I flew back and forth a couple of times, the last time I was set to leave home she tells me the night of me leaving that she won't do this back and forth thing anymore. I either stay with her or I don't. So without any research whatsoever since she gave me this ultimatum the same day I'm scheduled to fly, I just overstayed my Visa thinking "we'll fix this no problem" as I didn't think it was a big deal. I just wanted to be with her, which was beyond stupid. We ended up getting married and when it came time to file the papers, my then wife would always push it back and wouldn't sign it and it became something she held over my head to get me to buy her and her kid more things which I finally realized. Plus the threats of calling immigration whenever we get in fights. When our relationship started going badly, since I had no family or friends here besides her, my "escape" would be driving to a nearby casino that was about 3 hours away to get away from the house, as I had been playing poker for a living for a couple of years. It became a regular weekend thing for me as I was miserable at home. I met people my own age and made an entirely new group of friends and I was really enjoying it. Me and my wife called it quits in late 2005, and since I had already overstayed my Visa by a little more than a year because of our marriage, I figured it doesn't matter at this point whether I overstayed 18 months or 3 years so I was in no rush to return. I stayed in a hotel for a month with a dude I met playing cards and we eventually became roommates and we got an apartment together. I don't drive, I stay away from anything criminal and I generally fly completely under the radar as I make my living playing poker still to this day, which is why I've been able to overstay this Visa this long without being able to work a regular job. I have an ITIN number and pay my taxes on my tournament winnings but besides that, I have no social, no drivers license, no other form of ID besides a 7 year old passport, have to use a prepay phone as I have nothing in my name etc.

There's no need to tell me how badly I messed up. I know I made some horrible decisions by not doing my research beforehand, I blame it being young and dumb. But now I don't know what to do. The reason I kept staying as long as I did is that the two different lawyers I talked to said I'm fine as long as I stay in the country. They told me that whatever I do, do not travel back to Sweden and stay here and find a new wife and everything will be fine. I don't want to get married for the sake of just the Visa and I refuse to do so, but is there ANY other option for me or am I completely screwed? My mom is getting older and in increasingly bad shape and my brother has had two kids during the 7 years that I've been gone that I have never even seen because I've been stuck here. I wish I could fly home for a month, then come back here but the lawyers I talked to told me that I'm guaranteed to never be able to return if I leave the country. I feel like my whole life is here, almost every single "adult" friend I have is here, I met a new girl here, plus the country I want to be in is the US and not Sweden. I have a Jamaican friend who got her green card even though she didn't go thru the normal route and she was only married for a couple of weeks, then got divorced but was granted a green card. She said there's other options if you have a good lawyer, but I don't know exactly what that means.

Is there anything I can do to be able to go to Sweden to see my family, and then be able to return to the US even though I've overstayed by 7 years? Anything at all?

Thanks in advance,

Chris

Edited December 31, 2011 by Chris09

[Anh map 2,098]

If you left the US today/tomorrow/next week/next month ... you would face a ban to reentry based on the overstay and illegal work.

If you were to meet a person and marry legitimately, not a sham for immigration, and adjusted status then you would gain a green card and the illegal presence is forgiven.

Take your attorney's advice. Your "friends" offering advice on how to obtain a GC through another route don't pay the consequences, only you do.

You are not stuck here. You made a decision. You are free to depart.

[milimelo 4,541]

Are you now divorced from your ex?

[Harsh_77 718]

You made mistake in past and to me it seems you are ready to make another mistake just by listening to your Jamaican friend.

If you want to continue living life like this under the radar and not been able to do normal things you can continue or the other option for you and best one would be return home where you have family and be free from living like this under the radar kinda deal.

Call would be yours you made the first decision and you will have to make a second decision too.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I read your story with interest.

I wish I could have read your ex-wife's version as well though.

Generally speaking, if you are married, happily married, your spouse wants you to be happy. Even if the marriage loses a bit steam as the years pass by, initially there would be so much good will between both as to file for Adjustment of Status. It's beyond my comprehension why you let this slide and why your ex-wife was willing to use that against you, her lawfully wedded husband. It just doesn't make sense.

Too late now.

To the point: nope, you have no other path than by becoming the immediate relative of a U.S. citizen spouse -- again. That's difficult to time though, and while you may be able to survive playing poker, not having a driver's license (or any other form of generally accepted photo ID) is a dangerous way to live in the U.S. If you leave the U.S., you'll trigger the 10-year bar. The 10-year bar only means that you won't be coming back to the U.S. come hell or high water during this time. Thereafter you'll have to apply at the U.S. consulate in Stockholm for a B2 visa, and that will be denied as long as you live, you can bet on it.

The only way for you to ever come back to the U.S. would be based on an approved I-130 petition from your U.S. citizen wife, once you got married again. Since that will happen in the U.S., you better wait in the U.S. It all depends on how much breath you have, financially and emotionally.

I have been unlawfully present in the U.S. for many years, but I had a SSN, driver's license, a business, money, all the things normal people have, so I wasn't really impacted other than not being able to fly back to Europe. Well, both my parents died while I was here, so I can understand what it's like to be paralyzed in this regard.

Given the current climate, it's highly unlikely that there will be another amnesty any time soon. I just had a long conversation with a woman from Sweden, who has lived under the radar for almost 20 years. She had a condo in Hawaii, a good job, a SSN, a driver's license, but now the state of Hawaii wouldn't renew it by mail anymore, so she was required to apply in person at which time she had to provide proof of lawful presence. She had to give up, and returned after 20 years of living in paradise.

The electronic net gets tighter and tighter. When I came to the U.S. in 1992, a tourist could still get a SSN and driver's license. Today you'll need tons of documentation for everything, and it's not going to get better in the future. If you have set your heart on living in the U.S., better start dating again.

[Chris09 0]

First of all thanks for the responses.

Anh map: Yes, I agree that I'm not stuck here but I'm sure we both know what I meant. We can argue semantics but yes, I guess I should've used a different word.

Milimelo: Yes, I am divorced since 2008

Harsh_77: I know that I feel like I'm making another mistake but I don't know what the right thing is to do. It sounds like it should be quite simple but the thought of not seeing any of my friends from here again and I absolutely love living in the US. There are so many cities that I would miss terribly not being able to visit. I am leaning towards just heading home but before I did, I wanted to make sure there wasn't a "If you file xxx before you leave, you can come back under yyy conditions" etc. I'd kick my own #### to all hell and back if I flew home only to find out I could've returned, if I had just done the appropriate paperwork. I know very little of immigration law, so as it turns out this doesn't exist, but I needed to find out and a simple forum post turned out to be helpful.

Brother Hesekiel:

I know this isn't fair since it is still my side of the story... But I think her side of the story would be along the lines of that I didn't take to her child as much as she would've wanted me to and it broke her heart. When I met her online, she told me she didn't have any kids but she had a niece that spent two days a week with her. It wasn't until I met her in person that she told me it was actually her daughter. The first year to 18 months or so of "family stuff" was new, fun and interesting to me but after a while I grew increasingly resentful because I literally never got any solo time with just my wife. In our whole marriage, we never went out to dinner just the two of us. I started spending more and more time locked in the office playing online poker and focusing on making money instead. It was just a downward spiral, I don't know who is to blame for starting it (nor is it important) but I withdrew, she withdrew and so on and so forth. I was 21 and had just made a good chunk of money and was ready to travel and party while she was all about her little girl. I also had a really hard time looking at someones else's child and helping raise it, I felt like I had no idea what my role was supposed to be and she would've wanted me to be a much bigger part of her child's life, I think. This might not be exactly what she'd say but I think some of it is accurate.

I also figured the whole thing with the 10-year ban was lifetime since I had already overstayed it by as much as I have. I am just so frustrated that I was so careless with everything and while I realize I have only myself to blame, that doesn't give much solace at the moment. I was really hoping there would be some option. I've wanted to live in the US since I was a little kid, I never had family here either but I just felt at "home" here the instant I came here. Swedish is my first language and I still feel way more comfortable both speaking and writing English. I know all that sounds like crazy-talk but I just feel like I was born in the wrong country from the start.

You have an interesting story yourself it sounds like and I appreciate the response. I'm also a little bit tired of flying under the radar. I would like to be able to just have a normal life but it looks like I'll have to settle for having my normal life back home in Sweden. Lesson learned, I guess. I just hope there's another life so I can put that knowledge to use in otherwise it'll be a pretty pointless and frustrating lesson to learn, haha.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Chris,

I perfectly understand where you are coming from.

My grandfather was danish, my dad Swedish, and my mom German, and ever since I had first visited the USA in 1981 -- first Florida, where I had an uncle, thereafter California, where my girlfriend had an aunt -- I knew I was born in the wrong place. I felt home in the USA ever since, followed several friends of mine who all before me immigrated with a B2, assuming the paperwork would fall into place eventually. And it did.

But those were different times when, as I stated, it was no problem getting a SSN and a driver's license. All this and more changed after 9/11, and while you were able to jump on the train just in time, you jumped off again without a ticket.

Unless you are in a serious relationship now and considering getting married to your girlfriend anyway, you are facing a difficult decision, and nobody can help you figuring out what the right next move will be.

Happy new year nonetheless.

[Chris09 0]

I apologize for bumping this thread but I figured it would be easier than creating a new one and having to explain the background.

I decided that I'm going to return home and I just have a couple more questions that maybe you guys know about. Am I going to get in any trouble trying to leave or will me leaving be as normal of a procedure as anybody else on the same plane as me? I assumed there would be questions raised as I show my passport and everything about why I was here illegally so long. Also, my passport picture is from when I was 21 and I'm now 29 so I obviously look slightly different. I think the picture is very similar but friends of mine who look at it laugh and say it doesn't look like me. The passport is in pretty rough shape from wear and tear over the years since I have carried it on me as an ID daily for all these years. Is this something I have to take care of and apply for a new passport before trying to leave?

[ceadsearc 516]

You should be fine as long as your passport isn't expired. You should not have any issues leaving, the US isn't going to care about your overstay as you're leaving the country.

[mr and mrs 187]

thanks for NOT creating a new thread. no need to apologize.

i really wish you good luck. i am sure you will find yourself back in the US someday, but in the meantime there are positives to be gained by going back 'home'.

remember to think good thoughts and take care of yourself.

here's some love, in case you need it: