what r the options for us?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

a boss? that's not an average Ukrainian woman, but specifically your wife! in our culture, a man is always the boss and a head of the house, a woman, however, is the neck, that turns the head (it a famous Russian saying), so as for your wife, being "demanding" should not be explained by her being Ukrainian, but rather it, being her personality.

u are right about RUB women being very goal-oriented, but there are different ways of going about it, making your husband jump out of his skin and cater to your demands is certainly not one of them...

how do i know all of this you might ask? besides being born and raised in Russia, my mom is a full-blooded Ukrainian woman, and as i watched her all these years, she is the furthest from what you described "a Ukrainian woman" to be.

as for the OP, im afraid she wasn't fully aware of what she was getting herself into... in some cases living together for a long time is not enough to figure out each other.. i don't know her case, but i'm willing to bet money that there wasn't much courtship. all she can do is talk to her husband and figure it out or suck it up and hope for the best.

And your father chooses the drapes? The paint colors? Does he rearrange the furniture? Does he choose the furniture? Maybe they have fights over what color to paint the kitchen? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what I mean by "boss of the house"? Who decides which things go in which closet? Your father?

How would your mother be about her husband's mother and sister telling her what to do in the home where she lives? How would your mother be if she had no way to get out of the house and was there with her mother in law and sister in law telling her what to do and treating her badly? You simply cannot be serious.

The MAN is the head of the family, he has his job as the head of the family. The woman is the Boss of the house. The man need not trouble himself with such things.

In the case presented here by the OP, the man is NOT the head of the family and the woman is NOT the boss of the house, she does not even have a house to be the boss OF. The woman will lose repsect for her man and it is finished. Say goodbye now or say goodbye later, but this will not work.

[UK_Fan 192]

And your father chooses the drapes? The paint colors? Does he rearrange the furniture? Does he choose the furniture? Maybe they have fights over what color to paint the kitchen? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what I mean by "boss of the house"? Who decides which things go in which closet? Your father?

How would your mother be about her husband's mother and sister telling her what to do in the home where she lives? How would your mother be if she had no way to get out of the house and was there with her mother in law and sister in law telling her what to do and treating her badly? You simply cannot be serious.

The MAN is the head of the family, he has his job as the head of the family. The woman is the Boss of the house. The man need not trouble himself with such things.

In the case presented here by the OP, the man is NOT the head of the family and the woman is NOT the boss of the house, she does not even have a house to be the boss OF. The woman will lose repsect for her man and it is finished. Say goodbye now or say goodbye later, but this will not work.

no I'm not kidding u, the thing is that if it came to getting something for the house, they would both be involved.. if dad didn't like something, then mom wouldn't do it... and in our culture its normal... and I know, u will probably say that my mom has no spine, but it's simply ain't so.. they've been married for over 23 years and it obviously worked.. they r a team and many families in our culture r that way... u never lived our way, u wouldn't understand

Edited January 5, 2012 by MariyaB

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

no I'm not kidding u, the thing is that if it came to getting something for the house, they would both be involved.. if dad didn't like something, then mom wouldn't do it... and in our culture its normal... and I know, u will probably say that my mom has no spine, but it's simply ain't so.. they've been married for over 23 years and it obviously worked.. they r a team and many families in our culture r that way... u never lived our way, u wouldn't understand

kk u win. So what is the OP complaining about? Then it sounds like an ideal situation and she must just be a whiner or something. Maybe u will tell us B4 we make any other conclusions. kk?

R u texting ur answers from ur Iphone?

[mr and mrs 187]

R u texting ur answers from ur Iphone?

gary, the love affair is back on. i am, as they say, l'ing my f'ing a off.

[UK_Fan 192]

kk u win. So what is the OP complaining about? Then it sounds like an ideal situation and she must just be a whiner or something. Maybe u will tell us B4 we make any other conclusions. kk?

R u texting ur answers from ur Iphone?

Droid, but that's besides the point.. the thing is, that the OP had expected to come here and live "American dream", but obviously was let down... u mean to tell me that she was completely unaware that he lives with his family? Please, give me a break lol. And if she knew, then what's there to complain about? Men are not exactly the creatures that change on a whim..

[Kajikit 65]

You gave up EVERYTHING to come here to be with your husband. He should appreciate that and want to do his best to help you adjust.

Yes, you really need to get out of the house at least a few days a week. Since you're out in the country someplace, walking isn't practical, but how about a bicycle? A bike effectively doubles your transport range without having to be dependent on anyone else. You and your husband need to carve out a regular time in your schedule to spend time TOGETHER away from his family so you can strengthen your relationship. The more time you spend apart, the further you'll drift. I don't like that he's staying out all night when you haven't even been married six months yet! Leaving you with his parents is not the same as looking after you.