visa dates longer then 90 daysI

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Hey OP! Don't worry. She came back. She will adjust. My fiancee ran away a couple of times. She returned as soon as she realized she had no place to go. Of course it only took her a couple of hours to return, after walking the mile or so to the nearest store, and draining her sorrows in a bag of chips. Staying away for a week? That took some determination! You really must have messed up. Hopefully, her "cousin" set her straight, and everything is good now. Mine is a big city girl, and the rural life is a little boring for her at times. We all have to adjust to life in the country, with minimal public transportation and no place to shop close by.

[az110965 252]

Hey OP! Don't worry. She came back. She will adjust. My fiancee ran away a couple of times. She returned as soon as she realized she had no place to go. Of course it only took her a couple of hours to return, after walking the mile or so to the nearest store, and draining her sorrows in a bag of chips. Staying away for a week? That took some determination! You really must have messed up. Hopefully, her "cousin" set her straight, and everything is good now. Mine is a big city girl, and the rural life is a little boring for her at times. We all have to adjust to life in the country, with minimal public transportation and no place to shop close by.

I'm sure the OP's fiance had many meaningful conversations with her "cousin" when she disappeared from the OP's house. Then the "cousin" helped the OP's fiance fix her cellphone so she would once again be able to accept calls from the OP, and the cousin fixed the internet, which apparently had broken after the fiance left.

Thank God the OP's fiance had her cousin to lean on and lend support in such a troubling time.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I'm sure the OP's fiance had many meaningful conversations with her "cousin" when she disappeared from the OP's house. Then the "cousin" helped the OP's fiance fix her cellphone so she would once again be able to accept calls from the OP, and the cousin fixed the internet, which apparently had broken after the fiance left.

Thank God the OP's fiance had her cousin to lean on and lend support in such a troubling time.

Stickin' my neck out here, but I think he was being sarcastic.

[az110965 252]

Stickin' my neck out here, but I think he was being sarcastic.

See? Gary gets me! Yes, just a tad bit sarcastic...

Happy new year to you and Alla!

Edited January 1, 2012 by az110965

[az110965 252]

Anyone wanna take a bet that the fiance ends up pregnant very soon?

Any takers?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Exactly...

To come to a new country is of course a life changing circumstance. To be homesick and have difficulties adjusting happenes, but to just run off without even discussing the situation with the USC fiance is inexcusable.

Everything the OP posted in his first post and now this one points to disaster, but as Gary stated, the OP is a big boy and he will do what he wants to do, despite warnings from others who have seen or read it all on these boards.

The fact that he'd be willing to take her back may be an indication as the OP's character (or lack thereof). It's his life... and he can't say he wasn't warned.

I am sure the make-up sex was worth all the drama.

Anyone wanna take a bet that the fiance ends up pregnant very soon?

Any takers?

You see a DNA test in this couple's future?

[az110965 252]

I am sure the make-up sex was worth all the drama.

You see a DNA test in this couple's future?

I'm betting it belongs to the "cousin"

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Anyone wanna take a bet that the fiance ends up pregnant very soon?

Any takers?

So you think they are BOTH getting screwed?

[VeniyaAO 4]

Newbe, you sure are correct. My fiancee is from a Big City and I live in a rural area. Also she is from 80 degree daily temp city whereas we have snow and 15 degrees here. Not a nice welcome for her.

She complains alot about not being able to walk to a store and see lots of people everywhere like in her city.

She does not seem to have any interest in getting the green card as others keep saying here.

She tells me often that if I do not want to marry bring her to the airport and she will go back to her country.

She has meet my family many times and tells me she loves to spend time with them.

She has always been in independent girl and I think she is having a hard time adjusting to living with me. She keeps telling me to give her time and she will adjust . Right now she treats me more like a good friend then a fiance.

This woman has changed A LOT. I dated her for more then 2 years and she was an angel in her own country.

She is very friendly for example makes me dinner and lunch and cleans the clothes. But she does not seem to show love. I ask her about it and she just says she needs time to feel comfortable here.

someone mentioned she is entitled to 50% of my things, income? if we get married? What about a prenup agreement? Does that not prevent her from getting 50% of everything?

Edited January 2, 2012 by VeniyaAO

[Penny Lane 8,159]

She is very friendly for example makes me dinner and lunch and cleans the clothes. But she does not seem to show love. I ask her about it and she just says she needs time to feel comfortable here.

someone mentioned she is entitled to 50% of my things, income? if she get married? What about a prenup agreement? Does that not prevent her from getting 50% of everything?

This does not sound promising at all. Sounds like you have a housekeeper instead of a future wife.

Also sounds like you don't exactly trust her or her motives if you DO get married.

Please be careful before you go any deeper into this. There are red flags all over the place.

Edited January 2, 2012 by Coconuts

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

someone mentioned she is entitled to 50% of my things, income? if we get married? What about a prenup agreement? Does that not prevent her from getting 50% of everything?

If you live in a community property state, then usually in an uncontested divorce, you both get back what you had before the marriage, and you evenly divide the marital assets. That seems fairly equitable, as long as both spouses are working and making similar incomes. If that is not the case, then depending on the length of the marriage, then some adjustment is made. For instance, if you had a house before you were married, but still had a mortgage, some of the equity that house is a marital asset, and some of the equity in the house is yours from before the marriage. Improvements and repairs made to the house after marriage also become marital assets.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

someone mentioned she is entitled to 50% of my things, income? if we get married? What about a prenup agreement? Does that not prevent her from getting 50% of everything?

No, she will not get half your stuff... but.. she is here due to you, you earn an income, she does not... When she leaves you that one source of income will pay for everything that needs to be done in a divorce and what comes after. It will be expensive... like the thousands of minutes to unknown numbers that were on your cell phone bill last month: Her fault but still your obligation. You might get lucky like the last time when someone else paid for her plane ticket at the last moment to go visit her cousin out of state.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Newbe, you sure are correct. My fiancee is from a Big City and I live in a rural area. Also she is from 80 degree daily temp city whereas we have snow and 15 degrees here. Not a nice welcome for her.

She complains alot about not being able to walk to a store and see lots of people everywhere like in her city.

She does not seem to have any interest in getting the green card as others keep saying here.

She tells me often that if I do not want to marry bring her to the airport and she will go back to her country.

She has meet my family many times and tells me she loves to spend time with them.

She has always been in independent girl and I think she is having a hard time adjusting to living with me. She keeps telling me to give her time and she will adjust . Right now she treats me more like a good friend then a fiance.

This woman has changed A LOT. I dated her for more then 2 years and she was an angel in her own country.

She is very friendly for example makes me dinner and lunch and cleans the clothes. But she does not seem to show love. I ask her about it and she just says she needs time to feel comfortable here.

If we are driving around, and we are passing through the open countryside, the wife often says, "So sad! I don't see any houses."

She was quite bored when she first got her. Luckily, I had a close friend with a Pinay wife she could visit once in a while, and I would drop her off there when work took me that direction. We found an Asian store with comfort foods so that she could enjoy some flavors of home. And I had the internet. That helped. If took a while, but she is not bored in our house anymore, as long as I am home.

For the cold, one of her friends sent her a care package with warm clothes, and I invested in an electric blanket. For the first winter she hid under that electric blanket for most of the day. Now, not so much, but the cold still bothers her.

Things really improved once she got a job. She was already working by the time we filed for AOS, and when we went for our interview, that wasn't a problem. That will raise a few eyebrows here, but that was before we knew about Visa Journey and how we can't do that. However, keeping her busy made her adjustment to her new life a lot easier.

The affection thing will depend on culture. You may want to talk to a few Colombians about that. It sounds like she is still in the negotiation stage, and it is up to you to assure her if you still love her and want her around. In some cultures, she won't leave out of obligation and fear of the stigma of rejection. She really doesn't want to go home, because she can't help her family if she does, and all her friends will brand her as a failure.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

The affection thing will depend on culture. You may want to talk to a few Colombians about that. It sounds like she is still in the negotiation stage, and it is up to you to assure her if you still love her and want her around. In some cultures, she won't leave out of obligation and fear of the stigma of rejection. She really doesn't want to go home, because she can't help her family if she does, and all her friends will brand her as a failure.

You are taking a cultural stereotype of someone from the Philippines and applying it here.. A stereotypical Colombian would fall on the opposite end of the spectrum. They tend to view us as the conservative less passionate and avoiding of PDA.. They do not have the hangups with returning home in shame or doing it all for the family etc, etc..

Having said that its just a stereotype so who knows what this particular person is thinking... If fear of being seen as a failure and disappointing the family because she can't send home money are major reasons for her staying then the relationship should be ended.

[Mark + Melissa 49]

Well, I've been discussing with my Fiance, and we're both worried that you may want to be married so bad, you're not accepting any of the warning signs, and are setting yourself up for a fall.

Edited January 2, 2012 by mseifman