i feel like im going to die...

[Mark + Melissa 49]

Ok.. first off, I've been through depression. There IS an end to it. It is a chemical imbalance that makes everything seem sooo much worse. You may *want* to take your life, but the fact is your body and YOU are both crying for help. Take your meds and think of at least one positive thing each day. Gradually increase this. It really helps. Embracing your religion would help too, as I believe with GOD all things are possible. Anyways, you're crying out for help. This usually means professional counseling, but at the very least should be discussed with your husband.

The fact that you are stating it here, and not to your husband.. concerns me. Please do not get upset when I say that it sounds like you are a young adult. I do not mean that negatively, it's just that young adults generally do not yet feel comfortable confronting emotional situations head on. You need to tell your husband how you feel in a non-accusatory way. You say your husband is a gamer. I can relate to that because I'm a gamer too, but I'm 43 so I've learned to moderate my gaming time around my time with my son and fiancee. This being said, you need to turn off the game. YOU. You need to express to him how important it is you spend non-game time together. It's not that you want to take away his gaming time, it's that he should moderate himself. If playing games was the sole basis of your relationship, you may find it hard to find other things in common, and only lots of chatting about random things will fix this. My fiance and I have chatted about ghosts, Gods, religion, history, fashion, afterlife, our beliefs of death, movies we've seen, books we're reading...jeez we may cover 5 topics in an evening. You must be comfortable sharing your thoughts with each other in order to strengthen your bonds.

Also, you are having adjustment problems common to people moving to a new place. You've changed countries.. cultures. You need to get involved in something. You can get a job if you apply for your SSN. You can volunteer at the hospital and rock babies, or make quilts for newborns, or assist at a senior citizen center. Until you feel useful, you are going to continue to have a difficult time. As for his family not liking you, they may not 100% embrace you yet as they don't know you, but that doesn't mean they don't like you. Use this time to get to know them. Call them, email them.. share funny things with them. Start with one family member, and build from there.

The most important thing is, you don't want to go back. You love your husband. Marriage is work. It's work from both husband and wife. You need to work on what you can, and the rest will hopefully come for you. I will keep you in my prayers so you know at least one person cares

[M.O 6]

I was miserable the first year i came here..i cried almost every day,i was depressed,i was thinking to go back to my home country..nothing made sense and obese people scared me to death,but..we got a kitten,actually we found her on the street,she was homeless,she was just a baby,that helped me aloooooooooot..i highly recommend it..she gave me love,when my husband was at work..then i found a job..working i got used to work with people and their way of living,i made some american friends..then i got bored with my job and i found another job..and life is much better now..we go out together,we do things together..and we still have our crazy cat..i recommend a pet,thats gonna help with your depression..God has a plan for everybody,He has a plan for you too,so anything you got through now is going to help u in the future..i highly recommend reading the Bible also,is going to make u feel better and find the meaning of life..God bless!!!

[Laure&Colin 558]

OK, first, you did not have a heart attack, what you describe is a panick attack, which is extremely frightening but unfortunately very common in people who suffer from anxiety and/or depression. So take a deep breath, you're not going to die. As scary as it is, it doesn't kill you.

Second, take the medication your doctor gave you regularly, I would even say religiously. Don't take it every once in a while when you feel like or not. If you feel like you need to, go back to the doctor, have him explain how those pills work, what the possible side effects are, etc... so you can feel confident taking them.

Now, what you say really looks like depression, but that's not really surprising for someone who just moved to the other side of the world, doesn't get out of the house, has no social life, a disappointing relationship, and so on. Your situation needs to be improved asap:

- do you have your driving license? Can you walk to any place, like a park, mall...? My 1st advice would be: go out of this house, get some fresh air, and sunlight. If possible get involved in new activities: sports, hobbies, whatever, maybe volunteering when you feel strong enough.

- start seeing your doctor, or a therapist you feel like you can trust, regularly. It's very important to be supported by a professional, especially if you have thoughts about taking your own life.

- have a SERIOUS conversation with your husband. He MUST be aware of what's going on, and it is his moral responsibility as your spouse to help you go through it. It may not be easy, but you'll have to face each other and have an open conversation. He's acting like a single teenager, playing his games while you are having big difficulties. Make him see that. If he is unable to provide the support you need right now, go to counselling together.

Depression is a terrible disease, it's impossible to understand for people who didn't go throught it. But it does not last forever, you get better, you recover, and you become yourself again, although it may be hard to believe during the most difficult times. Don't lose hope, don't give up, focus on how to improve your daily life, make little steps, take your medication, and you will get better.

[mr and mrs 187]

nothing made sense and obese people scared me to death

wow. just wow.

hope your cat never gets fat.

[F & J 21]

One thing that has helped me a LOT is that my husband and I go on date nights (dinner and/or a movie) at least once a month - and we set aside one day out of the week to do stuff together, it doesn't matter if we're just cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, the main thing is that we're doing it together. It will help with the loneliness and getting out of the house will keep you from going stir crazy. If you have pets, you can also take them out for daily walks - so you won't be cooped up inside the house all day.

And FIND A HOBBY! I used to draw and paint (I even went to get a 2nd degree in Multimedia Arts) before my husband and I met. He has been getting me art supplies and I've also started scrapbooking which keeps me busy for hours.

I also used to play video games a lot but I've kind of lost interest right now and will only play when there are good co-op games that I can play with my hubby. See if you can get your husband to play video games that have co-op campaigns like Gears of War with you (if you're interested in that kind of games) or sports games that you can play together like FIFA.

Edited January 5, 2012 by Fatima and Jim

[james&olya 1,121]

Some people on here are advising you to take the medication your doctor prescribed. NOT a good idea, based on your reaction to it! As a benzodiazepine, it is more suited to occasional use for occasional anxiety/panic attacks than daily use. Your doctor will say the same if you tell him all that you have said here. You are one of those individuals that should not use this class of drug because of how your body responds to it. There are other classes of depression medications that may work much better and they are probably worth trying. Most require up to several weeks to get the maximum benefit (as opposed to benzodiazepines which work immediately for most people). The best treatment for the kind of depression it sounds like you are suffering from is to get involved in activities you can enjoy! Get the cat and the camera! Insist your husband get involved along with you in these or other activities! Talk to people who care, even if it is just on forums like this, though in-person interaction is usually much better. Hang in there, it will get better.

[Kajikit 65]

A happy pill isn't going to fix your life. All it does is cover things up, and it comes with its own problems (side effects!). You need counselling bigtime. PLEASE make your husband understand that you need professional help RIGHT NOW. 'Locking you up' won't keep you safe or help you to get better. Your husband is scared for you and he doesn't know what to do to help you, so that's all he can think of. This isn't just 'the blues' or feeling bad because you've had so many life changes. The life changes have triggered serious problems for you and you need real help to deal with them. Please please please get some.

[mr and mrs 187]

A happy pill isn't going to fix your life. All it does is cover things up, and it comes with its own problems (side effects!).

you sound like tom cruise.

[Mayarz 4]

A husband who can stand by while you waste away like this does not love you, regardless of what words come out of his mouth.

I dont know if Its going to be the same situation for me as I just got my visa..I didnt travel yet...

My husband came to morocco and stayed with me for 4 months after he was done with his deployement..and Like your husband His a video games Freak...He used to spend like 6 hours straight playing Until I yell and fight with him...Some nights I used to sleep while his playing in the whats supposed to be *Our honey moon*and yes he would just remember me whenever his Horny !!!

After that we came and stayed with my family fr the rest of the period he was staying here..so Whenever he pissed me off I would Just go and sit with my family till I cool down...

His excuse was that he just came back frm Iraq and Videogames make him stop thinking about the war Horror and that will change once he gets home and there are better things to do...(His mother confirmed to me that he was always like that even at home)

Just like your husband I know he loves me but also I know that he doesnt just ignore me when Im freaking out..Coz I make sure he doesnt !!! one day it got so bad that I took his new laptop and threatned to break it cz he refused to stop...and that just made him stop and say SORRY.

It scares me knowing what your going through as Im afraid the same will happen to me..especially when we are just adjusting and there is no one else we know but him and his family...But I would advise you to try to find any kind of work..ANYTHING, even as a waitress..cz it would be very good fr you to change vibes, meet people and stop focusing only on him as the center of your interest...Get a Pet as well cz that would help..and If you cant work, check on fb or social sites and meet with girls from your area.. !!

Try to find a different way of dealing with your husband..Cz he has no right to ignore you or threaten you to leave you alone and go with his mother,I find this cruel..He should understand that you made a big step in your life to move to that country to be with him...Unfortunatly somtimes men just take us for granted and get too confortable in the relationship that they would just stop trying even if we are Sure they Love us..Maybe more than anything else..But they Just dont know how to express it anymore since We are thers now.

Have some Courage...It takes a while always to adjust..I know that from other peoples experiences and My feelings..But it will get better..So darling,stop stressing youself please and look fr alternative solutions.

Best luck

Edited January 7, 2012 by Mayarz

[VanessaTony 3,567]

you sound like tom cruise.

No. Tom Cruise says tablets are useless. Tablets don't fix the issues that are MAKING her depressed. She's talking about things that are making her upset and those things don't magically stop happening because she takes tablets. The tablets will help her mood, they won't stop her husband from ignoring her or help the other situations that get to her. She needs not only tablets but life management. Sometimes it's better to have mood "assistance" but start learning coping skills.

[Kajikit 65]

No. Tom Cruise says tablets are useless. Tablets don't fix the issues that are MAKING her depressed. She's talking about things that are making her upset and those things don't magically stop happening because she takes tablets. The tablets will help her mood, they won't stop her husband from ignoring her or help the other situations that get to her. She needs not only tablets but life management. Sometimes it's better to have mood "assistance" but start learning coping skills.

From her initial post it sounds like so many people she's gone along to her GP (or seen a random doctor at the hospital when she became desperate enough to go there and beg for help) and they've said 'you're depressed, here take this prescription and you'll be okay'. IT IS NOT EVER THAT SIMPLE. Believe me, I know the effects of improperly-treated clinical depression and major anxiety, and while I don't want to scare the OP, this is a LIFE-THREATENING condition and doctors treat it like a cold! We don't know enough about how the brain works to be able to fix it with a simple prescription. It needs somebody who knows what they're doing to monitor the treatment until she finds something that will really help, and individual counselling to deal with everything else in her life that's contributing.

If you asked a scientologist what to do about major depression they'd tell you that it didn't need any treatment whatsoever because you just need to change your thinking patterns and it will go away. UGH.

Edited January 8, 2012 by Kajikit

[VanessaTony 3,567]

From her initial post it sounds like so many people she's gone along to her GP (or seen a random doctor at the hospital when she became desperate enough to go there and beg for help) and they've said 'you're depressed, here take this prescription and you'll be okay'. IT IS NOT EVER THAT SIMPLE. Believe me, I know the effects of improperly-treated clinical depression and major anxiety, and while I don't want to scare the OP, this is a LIFE-THREATENING condition and doctors treat it like a cold! We don't know enough about how the brain works to be able to fix it with a simple prescription. It needs somebody who knows what they're doing to monitor the treatment until she finds something that will really help, and individual counselling to deal with everything else in her life that's contributing.

If you asked a scientologist what to do about major depression they'd tell you that it didn't need any treatment whatsoever because you just need to change your thinking patterns and it will go away. UGH.

I'm not sure why you quoted me... I was defending your reasoning to Mr & Mrs who claimed you were like Tom Cruise when it was obvious to me you were saying meds alone aren't gunna do ####### (which I whole-heartedly agree with). My very first post in this topic said pretty much the same thing (that she needs to have her meds altered, and she should see a psychiatrist/counsellor and that drugs aren't a "one size fits all" thing.

[misswiss 6]

I was depressed too before...until i realized that no one can make me happy except my damn self.. you need to take better care of yourself if your husband loves you then good for you...but you should be able to be happy with or without him...nuff said.

[misswiss 6]

I used to get depressed a lot...until i realized that no one can make me happy except myself.. you need to take better care of yourself if your husband loves you then good for you...but you should be able to be happy with or without him...nuff said.

I know i may sound inconsiderate but it's the truth...you cannot depend on anybody especially for your own happiness...try going out more, maybe going to the gym u will meet more people...look for people from your country or similar culture..america has a lot of opportunities and he's not the only good man in this place either..

I used to feel that way too that my man only wants me for sex but i realize how much of a social person he is compared to me and i thought to myself mannn this man would be sad without me but he will get through it...because he doesn't let me affect his happiness..at all...and i decided i would do the same for myself. It's important to not let your relationship take over who you are. You need to find your own happiness no man will make you happy. And if you want to be you will be. It really is that simple. The FDA wants you to buy their stupid depression pills and nothing will work. Find peace within yourself.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

It's true that medication won't resolve the life situations that can cause depression. However, if someone has major, or "clinical", depression then medication may very well be required. Their brain is not reacting normally to the stresses that triggered the depression, and medication may be the only way to get the brain functioning normally again.

Medication isn't intended to solve your life problems. It's intended to make it possible to function normally in spite of those problems.