Divorce Soon After Temporary Green Card

[Moomin 292]

Basically never underestimate anyone who's determined on getting something, whether it's a green card, a divorce or a wedding. I'm not trying to kick you while laying down, just to give a different approach - am sorry you have to go through this, and under these circumstances.

It could have been the divorce, and a fast one she had in mind when wanting to visit family. I'm pretty sure she knows you well enough by now to know which buttons to push and which not. Not facing you while saying it is also easier, and she(and you) didn't have to stay under the same roof for the aftermath. I have no idea if she normally hasn't confronted you with bigger issues. Some people run off and then tell "oh by the way..". I don't condone of it but it's some in a nutshell.

All I'm trying to say is that even though you'd want to work it out with her, she has probably made up her mind. You can always try to contact Ice to put it in her case file. Odds are she's not going to to anything until she returns so atleast give it some thought before you go ahead and make the call. And if you're sure then go ahead and collect ALL the evidence you need, be it mails and what not.

Edited December 24, 2011 by moomin

[bigdog 376]

Get a divorce, loose a wife get a better wife.

[Sapphire Moon 25]

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I am a US Citizen (born here), my spouse is from Latin America.

My spouse and I were married for 3-1/2 years before finally filing for her residency. She was on a student visa she would renew until we finally filed the PR forms. I won't get into the details as to why we waited so long before filing right here, but after filing, everything went relatively smoothly and we received the Temporary Permanent Residency for her pretty quickly (~3 months).

Immediately after, she wanted to return home to "show-off" her green card. I was a little hesitant, but was told many immigrants like to do this right after getting their card. So, about two months after receiving it, we went. I went for one month (I have to work - she doesn't work), and she was to stay a few weeks longer. Immediately after I returned, she told me that she was staying a bit longer. Over the course of the next few months, she became increasingly agitated with me on the phone - and eventually told me that she got what she wanted from me (the green card), and now wants a divorce. She has also started a relationship with someone else in her home country.

She will be returning shortly, after staying out of the US for 4 days short of six months. She wants to finalize the divorce quickly so that she can move and travel.

I thought we were married for love, and it sure seemed like it. She, though, has made it clear it was only for the green card.

Is there anything I can do about that at this point? I hate the thought of being used in such a way.

Very sorry your situation ended this way.

While now it is emotionally important to do something about the GC, more important is to protect your assets and finances. If the situation is as you describe, I wouldn't get it past her to take advantage of the situation further. I would file a separation or divorce asap. Cancel credit cards, accounts etc. At the very least restrict access. Get with a lawyer to check how to effectively block her from your assets. Not all might be possible.

She might not return to your home, but she might, and if she is in the lease or title them she has the right to enter.

Again, take all steps and efforts to protect you financially.

Only after protecting yourself I would start worrying about the GC and immigration.

Not sure much could be done there, other than establishing your view with USCIS in case you pursue a K-1 or similar immigration petition later. Probably the least thing in your mind now, but have notice many members here have been in multiple K-1s.

Best to do is to close this chapter and move on with your life; no one is worth more than yourself and your well being.

Again, very sorry.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

I am a US Citizen (born here), my spouse is from Latin America.

My spouse and I were married for 3-1/2 years before finally filing for her residency. She was on a student visa she would renew until we finally filed the PR forms. I won't get into the details as to why we waited so long before filing right here, but after filing, everything went relatively smoothly and we received the Temporary Permanent Residency for her pretty quickly (~3 months).

Immediately after, she wanted to return home to "show-off" her green card. I was a little hesitant, but was told many immigrants like to do this right after getting their card. So, about two months after receiving it, we went. I went for one month (I have to work - she doesn't work), and she was to stay a few weeks longer. Immediately after I returned, she told me that she was staying a bit longer. Over the course of the next few months, she became increasingly agitated with me on the phone - and eventually told me that she got what she wanted from me (the green card), and now wants a divorce. She has also started a relationship with someone else in her home country.

She will be returning shortly, after staying out of the US for 4 days short of six months. She wants to finalize the divorce quickly so that she can move and travel.

I thought we were married for love, and it sure seemed like it. She, though, has made it clear it was only for the green card.

Is there anything I can do about that at this point? I hate the thought of being used in such a way.

Sorry to hear this misfortune, listen to these people on VJ. Never heard of spouse going back to home country to show off the GC. Is this a Latin American trait?

[A16!!24A 5]

Okay given the "GC" discussion even went to assets you need to get this stuff in a voice recording. You need to be careful though that in the recording you don't make it seem like you're actually ENCOURAGING the fraud ('cause that's what it is).

So based on the above I would call her again (and if legal) record the discussion. If not legal I would write her an email. in fact I lean towards email because writing makes it easier to prove.

I like the email confirmation rather than taping the conversation, its always a safer and a more secure route to take. Nothing beats it to the point like on paper. From any legal angel you look at it; in written form is the strongest form of defense.

Edited December 24, 2011 by A16!!24A

[Rufus2012 175]

Secure your assets, get a lawyer and divorce her asap. If you have proof of her affair and it was legally obtained, keep it in your back pocket in case the divorce goes to court - even in no fault states, judges are human and things like affairs will influence their rulings.

Feel free to rat her out to immigration, but I think that with a 3.5 year marriage, she can probably squeak out of any major troubles. Besides, every minute you waste on it is one less minute of your life, one less minute where you could be looking for someone else.

[fang27 1]

I like the email confirmation rather than taping the conversation, its always a safer and a more secure route to take. Nothing beats it to the point like on paper. From any legal angel you look at it; in written form is the strongest form of defense.

Yeah, a few people have said that. She isn't stupid, though, so I believe it is unlikely I will get it in writing.

[fang27 1]

Sorry to hear this misfortune, listen to these people on VJ. Never heard of spouse going back to home country to show off the GC. Is this a Latin American trait?

You know, I don't know a lot of people from other countries, but it seems to be a distinct trait of latinos in my region. When she first wanted this, I was upset and talked to a latino couple (good friends) - they both had numerous stories about latino friends of theirs doing this throughout the years. They did it also (both are immigrants from the 80s).

I don't remember if I mentioned this, but my wife's family seemed a bit - like - "Really? Oh, ok. What is a green card?" when I was down there. The conversation soon changed to something else, as it was clear this wasn't particularly interesting or important to them.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I like the email confirmation rather than taping the conversation, its always a safer and a more secure route to take. Nothing beats it to the point like on paper. From any legal angel you look at it; in written form is the strongest form of defense.

Emails can be edited. That would be difficult evidence to verify.

[jojolicious 38]

You know, I don't know a lot of people from other countries, but it seems to be a distinct trait of latinos in my region. When she first wanted this, I was upset and talked to a latino couple (good friends) - they both had numerous stories about latino friends of theirs doing this throughout the years. They did it also (both are immigrants from the 80s).

I don't remember if I mentioned this, but my wife's family seemed a bit - like - "Really? Oh, ok. What is a green card?" when I was down there. The conversation soon changed to something else, as it was clear this wasn't particularly interesting or important to them.

No you didn't mention this little detail before...

[fang27 1]

Emails can be edited. That would be difficult evidence to verify.

Not just edited; completely falsified/created and "spoofed." However, when I have had to talk to lawyers about business stuff, they always say emails are like gold in court. Which is just so bizarre to me.

[fang27 1]

No you didn't mention this little detail before...

Well, it was really weird; she had been telling me for months how her family is really pressuring her to get it done, and I said, OK, c'mon, let's get it done (jiminy crickets, get off your butt, honey)! She said her mother mentioned it almost every day. So their reaction left me wondering....what the heck is going on here......

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Not just edited; completely falsified/created and "spoofed." However, when I have had to talk to lawyers about business stuff, they always say emails are like gold in court. Which is just so bizarre to me.

I think if a third party downloaded the emails from a mail-server, then that might be credible, but just dumping them onto your printer yourself, especially if your own motives could be questioned, would have a little less weight than hearsay.

Having been a respondent in court myself, I do agree, however, especially in small claims where you may not even get a real judge to hear your case, they accept some of the most questionable evidence a plaintiff could offer. In a civil action, the standard of proof is ridiculously low for the plaintiff, and burdensome for the defendant. Labor cases are even worse for the employer: Absent any evidence to the contrary, whatever the employee claims he is entitled to, the commissioner will award him.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Not just edited; completely falsified/created and "spoofed." However, when I have had to talk to lawyers about business stuff, they always say emails are like gold in court. Which is just so bizarre to me.

E-mails can be edited, true; but it is not your copy what would matter. The originally sent e-mail will be stored at the internet provider server (both sender and receiver) and while it could technically could be tampered with by the provider's personnel, any half way decent provider will also have system generated logs that record any changes and which are quite difficult to falsify. And yes, the message could be spoofed (meaning, the sender could be changed), but as before, it could be traced down to the originating server. The reason spam is prevalent is because there are shady operations in countries where there are not much enforcement about spam; but it can still be traced to where it came from. It's just that at the origin, they don't care much about your/our anti-spam laws.