Older American WOmen

[scottnlizzie 4]

It is easy to understand why one would claim it is age and sex discrimination, but let's be completely honest and ask ourselves if we really believe the decision was based 100% on the fact that the U.S. citizen is a 50 year old female. I do not believe that to be true.

[souleymon 27]

You have just being delayed and not outrightly denied.You still have a chance and that means trying to see how to work things in your favour.

Visit your husband the more,try spend more time,Mail the embassy to get the whole details and start from there.Lagos gives opportunity for more than one interview...Sorry for the CO words...

[EAbbas 213]

It is easy to understand why one would claim it is age and sex discrimination, but let's be completely honest and ask ourselves if we really believe the decision was based 100% on the fact that the U.S. citizen is a 50 year old female. I do not believe that to be true.

Unfortunately in certain countries it is true.. or at least delayed due to the age difference.. For the phillipines its quite common for a man 20yrs or more older to marry a younger woman and bring her to USA.. in places like Nigeria, pakistan Egypt etc.. we are looked on more closely as it whether is a real relationship or not because being older by more than a couple of years is definitely a red flag for these countries. Im still child bearing age but our age diff is 15 yrs.. we were questioned at length about that... but my husband said isn't it better to love the mother of your children or love the woman you married and have no children than it is to be in a marriage you dont like just to have children. He's right.. we both suffered from past relationships that were hurtful to us.. we plan to try to have our own child but only God can make that decision but neither one of us wants to live without eachother...adoption is always an option..

but.. for these countries its considered a sons duty to have children so thats why the CO looks unfavorably at these relationships... its not often you see an older woman and her younger fiance or spouse get the visa right away.. usually ap is always done in these cases and sometimes it results in a denial even if its a real relationship

[Michael Ruffin 1]

How nice to know in That in a American embassy The pratice of the C.O. is to keep alive sex and age Discrimination towards american women ...gezz its so nice to know thats where my tax dollar goes.Any other reason I could have swallowed but as a proffesional woman I find it disgusting that its still practiced.AND well heck what if I was barren at 20? hmmm

well you know WOMEN if your AMERICAN and over 30 (except if your unable to bare children )you better get a laywer to do your K3 .But if your a man ..hey no worries the AMERICAN goverment doesnt view as a problem.

Thank -you for all your nice replies and excuse the anger as you notice not one mention was made regarding lack of proof

seawash

I am sorry for your situation concerning your husband. I guess the question I have is how you guys meet and the lenght of the relationship before marrying him. I am not trying to be bias but from you said in the posting. It raises my red flags to the interviewer. I don't know if you know the big thing going on is the Nigerian scams. You hear people getting used for money or a free ride to America. I know this first hand because was scammed! It is obivious you met husband face to face, but I would still ask the same questions if the relationship is real? My suggestion is to re-file and get all the evidence leading up to the engagement and marriage. I would get proof of your husband lively hood. Show what is does for a living. These are just a suggestion. Good luck!

[favored 31]

You have just being delayed and not outrightly denied.You still have a chance and that means trying to see how to work things in your favour.

Visit your husband the more,try spend more time,Mail the embassy to get the whole details and start from there.Lagos gives opportunity for more than one interview...Sorry for the CO words...

[/quote)

i agree with dis.. quiickly seek another interview thru email.. ask them what additional docs are needed.. u need to verify dat ur hubby has tld u all about the interview and his answers.. not just da age thing.. consider attendin 2nd interview.. maybe go live in lagos until day of interview to show marriage.. not to be outta bounds but maybe a letter from ur doctor on ur full health.. again CO mite wanna see ur nxt move to prove its not fraud.. if u nd to reach out to ur congressperson..get going too n ignore dis age thing for now

[Boiler 45,486]

The goal here is to obtain the visa for your spouse.

The goal here is surely to be together.

Sometimes you need to have a wider view.

[Josie-Be-Happy 11]

Yes discrimination is alive and well in Lagos. My husband was asked in his interview if his father died because he was marrying a white woman.

Unbelievable. I hope it was a joke...even if it was, that's not a funny question.

[Samantha78 117]

I'm not sure about Lagos specifically but what you are saying 100% on the money. Immigration does not practice "equal opportunity" by any means. My husband is 8 years younger than me and I thought for sure that would be an issue at my interview. The CO actually did ask me ( I was at the interview) our ages soooo sarcastically....and as much as I wanted to tell her off, I kept my cool and we were approved. This should not pay any role in marriage and approval....it's disgusting to know this still exists. I hope you fight it, win and show their A$es who's boss!

Edited December 23, 2011 by sam&jensi

[Josie-Be-Happy 11]

In many countries, age difference is a huge factor. It's a shame, but it's reality. Here in the US, we are free to marry whomever we want without any questions. When it comes to immigration purposes, the age difference can raise a huge red flag. I don't get it. Even if it's not the norm for a man to marry an older woman in his home country, it's wrong to judge someone and assume that the relationship is a fraud. When the CO looks at the age difference and child bearing becomes an issue, why?? Some people do not want to have children. It's their personal choice.

Wishing you the best of luck.

[pushbrk 12,882]

You can and did marry who you chose. But it is part of the duty of the government is to protect the population of the country. The wishes of one person do no outway the needs of all. You are free to travel to any place that will allow you entry , you can marry any single person you please for the most part. You can not order the governmnet to let this person follow you home. You must satisfy the government that your marriage is for real and that person must pass the government back ground checks. You were given a homework assignment to bring proof that they accept, the first test they gave you an F now is the time to put that energy into getting an A for the final grade.

Best explanation I've seen in quite a while for a situation like this. Remember, the best evidence of a bona fide relationship is always going to be evidence of time spent together, in person. Often, this is difficult due to distance but can be overcome if the relationship is a high enough priority.

Consular Officers are expected to consider the totality of circumstances when making these decisions. Like it or not, local cultural norms are included in the circumstances considered as are the local common fraud scenarios. This case fits a fraud scenario and the couple did not present enough evidence (including the interview itself) to overcome the impression the relationship was for immigration purposes, at a Consulate in a fraud category all it's own.

Time spent reacting in anger will only be beneficial if channeled into productive action.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Thailand and Cambodia have recently passed laws which discriminate against older men marrying younger local women and in some cases prevents it!

This is not a one way street.

As others have said, work on getting proof enough to satisfy the embassy and reapply. Your husband may be a genuine man and it may seem unfair but Nigeria is a high fraud country so you just have to wait it out and work extra hard.

Best of luck.

[pushbrk 12,882]

Thailand and Cambodia have recently passed laws which discriminate against older men marrying younger local women and in some cases prevents it!

This is not a one way street.

As others have said, work on getting proof enough to satisfy the embassy and reapply. Your husband may be a genuine man and it may seem unfair but Nigeria is a high fraud country so you just have to wait it out and work extra hard.

Best of luck.

Correct. See... http://cambodia.usembassy.gov/getting_married_in_cambodia.html

New Marriage Requirements

According to new marriage requirements issued on by the Government of Cambodia on March 7, 2011, male U.S. citizens wishing to marry Cambodian women must:

• Be under 50 years of age, and
• Have a monthly income of at least US $2,500

[Karee 4,190]

Thailand and Cambodia have recently passed laws which discriminate against older men marrying younger local women and in some cases prevents it!

This is not a one way street.

As others have said, work on getting proof enough to satisfy the embassy and reapply. Your husband may be a genuine man and it may seem unfair but Nigeria is a high fraud country so you just have to wait it out and work extra hard.

Best of luck.

Not Thailand.

[pushbrk 12,882]

i agree and thanks for understanding ,my frustration is how to defend my age when i figured in this day in the usa we are beyond that type mentation.

You do not need to defend your age. What is needed is evidence of a bona fide relationship. This comes from living as if you are in one, and then providing the evidence of same. The best evidence will be the kind that shows you spending significant time together, in person.

[Boiler 45,486]

I wonder if the MENA countries will introduce something similar?