Waiting..... Waiting

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Already telling family. Broke it to parents last night, and waiting for answer. Word is now getting out. I am hoping to call and tell my sister tonight and maybe my brother. Right now I am tied up with work. Bad day.

Peer pressure rocks!

[gretchen_darren 67]

This is the week, I had planned on telling family. i wanted to introduce to my cousin before the wedding, but did not work out that way. So now I am having to work out things where I tell fmaily. then call my cousin back to let them know. My cousin will be thrilled to meet her. It is just dealing with issues. My family is very very very Hillbilly in some cases. ya' know, they got a concrete pond in the backyard.....

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

This is the banker's daughter bringing home the wrong guy for dinner.

Really.

[rlogan 2,036]

Dude, you are 45 years old - you need to grow a set and be forthcoming about this with your family. She faced the music how long ago and told her parents that she was going to marry a man almost twice her age and go live in some foreign country with him. He just so happens to be divorced and has children - what a catch! This chick is now your wife, who is knocked-up with your kid. If you don't have the cojones to be a man and face your family with this news, your wife has every right to drop your azz like a hot potato from shame. You don't man-up now, she might not be dropping trou' until frickin' Easter or beyond.

A staggering blow.

After a punch like this, the fight isn't in question, but only how much longer before the refs call an end to it. We do see Darren doing some impressive bobbing and weaving with word games, but he's been hit with further blows, like Bob4Anna's comment - it's all about Darren's manipulation himself. No, we don't have to agree that being manipulative is the answer. It is extremely inefficient and baffling to be interacting with manipulative people. It is much simpler to live above-board and open. To mean what you say.

But you know, Darren's still on his feet counterpunching too. He's a warrior. Blaming the people for misinterpreting what he said. A blame the victim counter. But the end is inevitable. There's no manager to throw in the towel for Darren so he's going to keep slugging until the refs count him out.

Jethro referred to it as the cee-ment pond. Stay down, Darren. You can't even remember a sit-com line.

Edited December 22, 2011 by rlogan

[gretchen_darren 67]

Rebecca Jo is back....

Talked to my parents tonight as well as my brother. Parents and brother are happy. they have lots of Filipino friends. They both have a high respect for Filipinos. My parents are going to try and go with me next fall to the village for the celebration. I think they are happy for me. My brother seemed more happy then my parents. (My brother has grown up a lot since we last talked.) Amazing part is my brother does not use facebook, but his wife does.... amazing how she never found me on facebook.

So, nothing major now... at lesat that I know of. Gretchen and my parents talked on the phone for while. Soon they will meet in person.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Rebecca Jo is back....

Talked to my parents tonight as well as my brother. Parents and brother are happy. they have lots of Filipino friends. They both have a high respect for Filipinos. My parents are going to try and go with me next fall to the village for the celebration. I think they are happy for me. My brother seemed more happy then my parents. (My brother has grown up a lot since we last talked.) Amazing part is my brother does not use facebook, but his wife does.... amazing how she never found me on facebook.

So, nothing major now... at lesat that I know of. Gretchen and my parents talked on the phone for while. Soon they will meet in person.

Rebecca Jo never left.

I see you managed to accomplish your goal. Bring the girl here and wait till almost 90 days to marry her, to make sure it's "right". I was really hoping she'd run like hell back to her family before she married you. But you knocked her up. All before your wedding. Before the commitment.

Way to go dude. You're a tribute to males everywhere.

[sunandmoon 450]

I guess this episode of Darren's World is over. stay tuned...

Edited December 22, 2011 by sunandmoon

[Stu4Lee 66]

After all that...everyone is happy...what an anti-climax

[Loolie 56]

I guess this episode of Darren's World is over. stay tuned...

Hehehehe... i knew its a happy ending... Hopefully the next episode is something like meet the parents or meet the fockers.... Exciting and more actions hehehehe.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Hey, it is my life and how I want to live it. However, you have to know how things are. I am making my life and living it. However, with all that I have been through. You never knwo what may happen. My parents may be happy for me. But actual truth is different. There was no plans to send her home or back to the village. It took us 90 days to plan a wedding and get things done. Now I know why I stopped posting here for a while.... everything I am going through is not easy.... neither for me or for Gretchen. there are times when I wish I did not have to deal with an ex. It would make it easier for me and Gretchen. I am very very very happy with Gretchen.

As for the "easter" comment. Let's just say I would not tolerate that type of reaction. Sorry been through it once, will not go through it again. Right now, it is getting her introduced to the family. God works in mysterious ways. what I was worried about most seems to be ok at this point of time. But we will wait and see.

[Moomin 292]

LOL, I am really getting a kick out of this. I wish I could help people see the crazy saniness of my family. the kids never talked about Gretchen the my parents (their grandparents) because never asked. Nothing asked, nothing volunteered. It is not game playing, or meant to be game playing. I jsut did not want to break the news to my cousins without first telling my parents. Think of how upset you would be if you found out a son or daughter is married? As for telling my family. Gretchen and I have discussed it. During the divorce my fmaily and I developed a rift. A lot of what I told my folks went to my ex. the only person I could trust was no one. I did not even trust my lawyer. My cousin's are great people. I see them often more often then I see my parents since they live here in the valley. My cousins have been through a divorce like what I have gone though. I went through a very very very bitter divorce. (and yet my ex asked for it.)

I love Gretchen very much. If I even had there would be problems, we would not be going to my cousins house. We are not going near my parents or siblings houses for a while yet.

In my family, you don't bring "friends" for christmas. It does not work that way. Even by saying she was a "friend" I was tipping them off to something greater. In my family, You only bring fiancee or wife to Christmas get together. It was a way of preparing the family for the news without shocking the fmaily.

I did actually read all the way to where you have told your parents. However.. Get over that divorce already and start asking your wife not only how she feels about you making these decisions. Not just have her "understand". I'd be p*ssed if my husband didn't even have the balls to confront me first and secondly, I wouldn't marry one that obviously still was talking more about a divorce than the current marriage. Make new memories, eh:)

Your kids.. Well, they're quite innocent look-up-to-their-daddy-kiddos. When you stay quiet, so will they. They pick up on things quite fast, esp. the things you don't say. My stepson happily announced to people "she's gonna be my stepmom". It made him feel good that he could openly address subjects that were in his daily life even though my husband doesn't speak to the biological mom to say the least.

You have a new family now. The dynamics change when your family does. Gretchen accepts you for who you are, not for the lack of choices you give her. If she had a choice and called up your cousin, I'm almost certain that she'd introduce herself as your better half because she's proud to be. Afterall, that's what she's trying HARD to be by accepting you.

Darren, it's not meant as a personal attack on you. But it does in some ways sadden me when your posts are not about "we" but "me and my past".

[Hank_ 9,174]

I gotta agree with moomin...

Sorry Darren, nothing was fixed you just got a horseshoe up your.... and dodged the bullet. You still need to get your ducks all quacking in a row.... psst - mommy, daddy and the EX are not one of the ducks.

Not slamming ya buddy, just 'cause you got lucky doesn't meet things are fixed.... them thar "outlaws" still have a handle on your crystals!

I am rooting for you & Gretchen!!!

[rlogan 2,036]

After all that...everyone is happy...what an anti-climax

It's called the "reveal" by some, where the manipulator leads you on by insinuating one thing, and then revealing the opposite. We're made to be fools by taking the bait. He only insinuated it was a train wreck with the family. Then made fun of people for thinking it to be a train wreck. But that removes the drama and we need the dramatic tension so next we have this:

My parents may be happy for me. But actual truth is different.

Juicy contradiction.

The problem with this kind of manipulation is that it is effective only in a one-shot bait and switch troll. Any more than that and you contradict yourself circularly: It's a train wreck. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it isn't. That removes the initial effectiveness of the bait-and switch. People pin you down on the contradictions, and you become incoherent.

I must have missed the birth announcement. That certainly raises the gravity of manipulative behavior.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

[gretchen_darren 67]

Honestly, I expected a HUGE blow up with my family. Major blow up. The response was totally unexpected for me. Completely unexpected. I am in shock more then anyone. N My oldest son talked to her on webcam back in March/april. What a blow up that was. But I encouraged him to talk about it openly. My sons have not seen my parents in almost two years. Part of it is my fault for not taking them back to the fmaily. I expected a blow up over Gretchen being catholic, being filipina, being 20. But nothing. Just a fizz-pop.

Yes, Gretchen is my better half. My sister in law is on facebook. So the family could have easily known about it. They didn't even know the youtube videos. So many people have posted their bad experiences. I was expecting a very bad experience myself with the family. I am glad it seems to be going well. I am not perfect. I have my faults. I am just glad Gretchen accepts those faults.