Waiting..... Waiting

[MuDelphi 159]

my "child bride" just had a birthday and she is still not a teenager. it only cost me: her winning santacruzan 2011, a fishing boat, plus helping build a kitchen, paint the house, and provide plywood to make separate rooms besides 3 trips to her village. God and her parents gave me a beautiful, elegant, wonderful, sweet, God -fearing virgin as a wife

The only warning regarding age in marriage is to avoid marrying someone young for lustful purposes, and avoid marrying someone older for money.

[gretchen_darren 67]

OMG. A purchase?

Darren we are living in the year 2011.......Not the year 11.

p.s I don't think anyone is 'mad at us' ( you & Gretchen).

Speaking for me, I'm not mad at you and of course not at Gretchen. If I were to search for the description for it after reading your post above....disgusted would sum it up.

I was looking at what Dex22 said and applying to my own situation. I knew someone would just take it out of context....right now Gretchen and I are enjoying the holiday season. Gretchen loves Christmas. This year she gets to decorate a lot more. (Back in the village she would start decorating in September.)

The more I look at my sister and her reaction. It is hard to even think of which way to answer her, or to provide information to her. In high school, my sister and I were close. I wouldn't date girls she did not like. Plus we also stood up for each other. My sister is hung up on legalism based on her set of values which is not supported by teachings in the Bible. I do not want to get into a debate with her holy roller attitude. Mainly, just looking at the way to say things to her.

[tmma 467]

I was looking at what Dex22 said and applying to my own situation. I knew someone would just take it out of context....right now Gretchen and I are enjoying the holiday season. Gretchen loves Christmas. This year she gets to decorate a lot more. (Back in the village she would start decorating in September.)

The more I look at my sister and her reaction. It is hard to even think of which way to answer her, or to provide information to her. In high school, my sister and I were close. I wouldn't date girls she did not like. Plus we also stood up for each other. My sister is hung up on legalism based on her set of values which is not supported by teachings in the Bible. I do not want to get into a debate with her holy roller attitude. Mainly, just looking at the way to say things to her.

What's wrong with waiting to ' say things'.

Why do you feel the need to ' say things' to her anyway?

Why not wait and enjoy life until your sister's dust settles?

Just enjoy your time with Gretchen.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results.

[Amby 490]

I can't read all of this but it sounds like you don't give a #### about how your wife feels. You only really care about what your family thinks about the situation.

[John&Juvy 36]

Darren need to get a life..... unless like what MuDelphi said his "Aspergers" LOL.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Gretchen and a couple of her friends were looking for foreign guys to talk to and date. for her birthday, Gretchen was given money to spend time online to find a guy if she wished....

I contacted Gretchen. the person supplying the laptop/internet there in the village. Was surprised someone from Phoenix was contacting a girl there. They told Gretchen, yes to talk with me when she asked advice. About 3 hours after talking online, we jumped off the website and started talking on webcam face to face.

1) Methinks Buscador will have some follow up questions / comments.

2) Why was your wife interested in meeting "foreign guys"?

3) What website?

(I did not know how serious a matter it was asking for a parents blessing at the time.) During new year's eve. Her dad said it was ok. He gave Gretchen his blessing for me. I had no idea what it meant.

What do you think it meant?

Gretchen's dad only had one mandate for her, Gretchen was to talk with me everyday.

Please expound on this thought. I don't want to misinterpret your meaning.

I started sending her money to get her passport (I wanted to know she was serious), to pay for internet load, plus provide food for the family.

Please expound on this thought (too). How does sending money prove her seriousness?

I have been learning more and more each day since then....

What? What have you "been learning"?

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

1) Methinks Buscador will have some follow up questions / comments.

2) Why was your wife interested in meeting "foreign guys"?

3) What website?

What do you think it meant?

Please expound on this thought. I don't want to misinterpret your meaning.

Please expound on this thought (too). How does sending money prove her seriousness?

What? What have you "been learning"?

Ironically, the more I read of this thread the more I'm starting to side with the sister...

[TJ01212011 47]

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

[Tahoma 2,291]

The delicious irony here is that Darren wants reclaim his position at the head of the family...a dysfunctional family!

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

I do not want to get into a debate with her holy roller attitude. Mainly, just looking at the way to say things to her.

OK...now...it seems you are making some progress. Don't think of this as a debate. Don't think you can win control over your sister. This is similar to your "help with mama" issue. You have unmet expectations and you're the victim feelings / thinking.

1st a to clear your mind. Focus on controlling yourself and you will not find you are (often) victimized by others.

Consider phrasing the letter (to your sister) as a letter of instruction. Another way to think of it...a letter to inform.

Inform your sister about your intentions and instruct her regarding future interaction with you and your wife. Inform her how you feel about her and the quality of your marriage and instruct her to never disrespect your wife and marriage....

It's really frickin simple!!! IMO...you are waaaaaaaaay over thinking this. Get it done and be done.

Edited December 29, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Hank_ 9,174]

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

fearing virgin as a wife

This is an absolutely disgusting to talk about your wife's virtue. I think Gretchen should SLAP you in the face.

I personally find your behavior, mentality, perspective and bafoonery amazingly idiotic.

Gretchen, your husband says you read these posts... if so, then why are you letting him behave this way? Why do you let him expose intimate details about you? Don't you feel embarrassed?

IMHO, you should suspend his posting privileges until he learns to behave like a gentleman.

[Aeris21410 7]

love this! LOL

I've been reading about this thread and I can't believe how a 45-year old man can act and post long, detailed, too much information in this forum like a 12-year old boy.

You have your OWN family now. Whether they accept it or not - sucks to be them. You don't have to explain, get their approval, and hope for them to accept your marriage with Gretchen. If I am Gretchen, I will be entirely humiliated on everything that you are posting here. I know I am not Gretchen and I will never wish to be her. It's good to know, btw, that she was a virgin (but don't you think that's way too much to let everyone know, have some privacy dude). Whatever it is that you are dealing with your family - face it like the man that you are. Don't 'broadcast' it.

This is humiliating.

[Tahoma 2,291]

God and her parents gave me a beautiful, elegant, wonderful, sweet, God -fearing virgin as a wife who believes loving her husband with all of her is her witness as a Christian.

Darren...I'm wondering about your witness as a good Christian in broadcasting Gretchen's virtue to the world.

Let's find out what Brandon has to say about it...

Hey Brandon...I'm thinking the same thing. #######!!!