family just dosen't get it :S

[benjamin10 0]

has anyone else had the problem of your family just not getting what's going and why everything is taking so long even though youhave explained it over and over again. My grandparents were asking my dad to eamil my husband to tell him to make up his mind or to just let me go they seem to think he's the one slowing this process down or something and my dad told me last night that he was staying out of it but if he wanted to be an #### he could write the military telling them about my husband i'm think in the back of mind their just gonna laugh at you my husband is in the coast guard with is apart national defense ect i just don't get my family's way of thinking like i don't have enough to deal with we have a son ive been looking after him pretty much bymyself since birth we haven't seen my husband in almost 6 months he also just got back from almost 3 months of being deployed on a ship. it just really frustrates i just wanna do what's best for my own family.

[at long last 58]

I say we all have business cards made with the flow charts of whatever process we are going through. When they ask ..give them one of the cards and say keep for further reference.. We are at number?? :rofl:lol

Stay strong and true to your family's needs and the rest will work itself out..

All the best on your journey

Terri

[CDN2US 10]

It is frustrating to try and explain this to people who just don't understand. "But you're married!" is the common cry. I know! It's not a magical status: it has its own process that takes its own time.

Then they try to make suggestions...our neighbors would love to start a letter-writing campaign...oh my.

Now try explaining the blackhole of AP.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Yeah, it's amazing at how many people just don't understand how long the process takes. There's usually this certain incredulity: "But...you're Canadian!" There are so many ways in which people just don't get it. They often think that you should be able to go to the U.S., be with your partner, then file paperwork from there. And that just doesn't work. Rather...it can work, but it's a true gamble that usually results in having to lie to several governmental organizations. Not my idea of a fun time, that's for sure.

Despite my personal frustrations with the length of the process, I really have no qualms about the various hoops one has to jump through for legal immigration. I'm rather glad it's not easy to get into the country.

But yes. Having to explain things to friends and family can be taxing, at best. Even trying to explain everything to my wife (who is the USC) was difficult. She just wanted to know when she could finally get excited. So for most of us, it's just one person in each relationship doing most or all of the paperwork...and we're the only ones who really get it. It's something you just have to learn to live with.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

has anyone else had the problem of your family just not getting what's going and why everything is taking so long even though youhave explained it over and over again. My grandparents were asking my dad to eamil my husband to tell him to make up his mind or to just let me go they seem to think he's the one slowing this process down or something and my dad told me last night that he was staying out of it but if he wanted to be an #### he could write the military telling them about my husband i'm think in the back of mind their just gonna laugh at you my husband is in the coast guard with is apart national defense ect i just don't get my family's way of thinking like i don't have enough to deal with we have a son ive been looking after him pretty much bymyself since birth we haven't seen my husband in almost 6 months he also just got back from almost 3 months of being deployed on a ship. it just really frustrates i just wanna do what's best for my own family.

Yep - it's pretty frustrating. From our parents and grandparents points of view - everything was much simpler 20, 30, 50 yrs ago. Times have changed and that's all there is to it. Be kind to your grandparents and try to explain the situations to them, they simply don't know is all. It's kind of like explaining what you do at work to them....my grandma still thought I brought people coffee lol - she has no concept of the work I do.

[CDN2US 10]

My mom keeps saying, "But when I married your father and got my green card..." and trying to compare her experience to ours.

Mom, that was 40! years ago!!!

There's usually this certain incredulity: "But...you're Canadian!"

Also, yes to this! We get that a lot!

[Neoalissa 1]

Every time I go outside, I hear "Oh your still here??" "I thought you left already"... then i have to explain whats going on blah blah. My Aunt who lives in Michigan has been there since a child, she has her GC from along time ago still, she is always bombarding me with questions on to why its taking so long. I just answer "I wish i knew" now...too much to explain lol Even my Fiance is asking me whats taking so long..hes actually getting mad! I just tell him im mad too!!! Then i tell him to remember what it felt like when we were driving away from the interview in Montreal, that feeling is what we will feel while we drive to the border...it will happen!! lol

[Inky 1,110]

I didn't really have the problem much of trying to explain why I hadn't left yet but the problems i get is

1, everyone here in the USA thinks i'm already a US citizen and when i say NO! i'm not yet they ask why so I have to always explain that to them.

2, half of my family didn't believe i was married until recently, 2 years after the fact ( not sure why? )

3, my mom never really thought i was going to go through with it until the day of my interview when she was in Montreal with me waiting for me to get back from the interview.

[Darnell 8,478]

I think you could create an exceptionally strong bonding experience for yer husband

if

your grandparents lived with your husband for 90 days, whilst waiting for the paperwork to get processed.

Try it nowish?

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

1, everyone here in the USA thinks i'm already a US citizen and when i say NO! i'm not yet they ask why so I have to always explain that to them.

Yup! I run into that one all the time too. I think the general feeling toward immigrants is slightly negative in this country...even if it's done the legal way. That's a part of the reason why I'll get citizenship as soon as I am able: I won't truly feel like I "belong" here until I'm a citizen, simple as that.

[Marilyn. 340]

My husband's aunt didn't know why it took so long.. she thought that once you married an American citizen you automatically became a citizen yourself.. she also thought that Canada was just another State..lol

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

I run into it ALL the time...and I'm going the opposite direction! I am doing the visa process to move back to the UK with hubby. I see someone every day that says....You're still here??? I thought you would be gone by now!

[Minu Luvs Pinu 2]

Most people are ignorant towards these things. My Fiance thought that if we just got married, I could come and live with him in the states. I knew that wasn't the case because I've been an immigrant all my life. Moving from Colombia to Canada and now in the states. But I really hope everything turns out to your favor and quickly for you and your family's sake. Good luck

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Oh yes, it's frustrating as heck!

At the beginning of our K-1 process, my dad was the worst. He was convinced I could just pack my bags and move to the US whenever I wanted, visa free. Because of course, he "knows a guy" who "knows a guy" who married a US citizen and just moved over one day and they all lived happily ever after. Of course you get the 3rd person story, and things get distorted. When I would try to explain the process, he would tell me to just lie, pretend like I was going to visit, and stay. Because that is totally consequence free! After a while he let it go and became supportive, but it took months, and it drove me insane.

Thankfully Bill (hubby) was supportive and helped me with the entire process, even filled out a lot of the paperwork. So he was my ally.

I get people who assume I'm a US citizen as well. It's exhausting explaining all the time. Thankfully I do know some people here who get it... One of my co-workers' mothers was born in Canada, and she has a GC that apparently doesn't expire? She never wanted to get US citizenship because she's a "proud Canadian" that hasn't been to Canada in 40+ years

[awkwardsoul 20]

oh totally... I'm a K-1er, but I get the beating of "When's the wedding?" and I say "I'll know once I have the visa in my hand" and every week the same people ask if I know when the wedding is/where's the visa.

Then there's the people who will say the method I'm doing is wrong, as they know someone who rolled in and didn't need a visa/paid money for it/etc. Or the "Just go to Vegas and get married" solution is suggested and then I have to explain we'd lose the money/time spent on the K-1 and we have to wait another chunk of time.