Prenuptial Agreement

[Rufus2012 175]

A will is a legal document that states what should happen after a person dies

A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that states what should happen is we divorce.

I understand that, my point is that a will is something that eventually will be invoked. A prenup is not - there is no certainty in divorce.

Again, I don't judge people on this matter, I can certainly accept the logical arguments, especially in a litigious society. However, it's somewhat disheartening reading this thread - where's the optimism and the hope that it will last forever? I do wonder, as another poster suggested, whether this kind of thinking predisposes one to divorce or correlates with a greater likelihood of divorce?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I understand that, my point is that a will is something that eventually will be invoked. A prenup is not - there is no certainty in divorce.

Again, I don't judge people on this matter, I can certainly accept the logical arguments, especially in a litigious society. However, it's somewhat disheartening reading this thread - where's the optimism and the hope that it will last forever? I do wonder, as another poster suggested, whether this kind of thinking predisposes one to divorce or correlates with a greater likelihood of divorce?

Or worse, formalizes in a legal document the dominance of one spouse over the other.

[quartercloud 5]

I know now a days it makes a lot of sense to have a prenup. But I cannot get over the above statement. To me this says loud and clear "I care about my stuff and my money more than you." Which in my mind does not fit the definition of love that I know and believe. And so I could never ever even think about doing a prenup. I want to give my all and everything I have to my marriage. And if it doesn't work out and I still have stuff, then I didn't give it my all.

That being said, I know not everyone view love and marriage like I do. So I will never judge anyone that gets one, especially when dealing with legal issues with immigration, second marriages etc. Like I said, from a purely logical point of view it totally makes sense. Marriage is what doesn't make sense.. : p

Best bet is to check with a lawyer to help you write one up I would say. They know what they're doing. And yes, pretty much anything can be on a prenup: cheating, etc. I've even read about ones where there are consequences for the woman gaining too much weight...

Pollyanna! Perhaps after your first divorce you will have a different opinion.

[Rufus2012 175]

Or worse, formalizes in a legal document the dominance of one spouse over the other.

I once had a conversation with some coworkers after one of them was married. He boasted of the terms of the prenup (she had a lawyer, totally legit), specifically that she would vest 5% of the value of the house each year they were married. Imagine, 5 weeks after you are married, this is the topic.

Afterwards, in a side conversation, another guy said to me, referring to the lunch conversation, "if you treat your wife like a second class citizen in her own home, it will never work."

They were divorced 3 years later. Before anybody jumps on me, I am not suggesting that pre-nup caused the divorce, I am merely telling a single story about a single marriage.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

very good topic. when it comes about getting married on a k1 and similar visas an agreement is an awsome idea if you dont know a person for a lifetime

[Tim/Mav 305]

Well, I don't like the idea of a Prenup Agreement. I'll tell you why.

First of all, 99% of all those that agree are Americans or the Petitioners. OH YES, I Want To Marry Her Alright. But ? What if she finds out I'm really a Jerk later? Will she own half of me ? Petitioners, IF YOUR SO SMART. You want that Woman but you have DOUBTS. That makes you an IDIOT to Get Married.

So, what you do is talk her into a binding relationship with a Prenup Clause which tells her she is stranded and will leave with the same clothes she came with. BEFORE THE MARRIDGE. Screw You is what I would Say.

I Have seen so many positions of beneficiaries reporting abuse/forced sex etc. And the Petitioner has a Prenup. .

To members I seen post: I been threw the Ropes and will never do it again. Well, don't get Married.

Fact of the matter is: Know your Spouse. Not your second brain.

A Prenup is basically a legal option to split and keeps your assets. TELL ME, IS THIS THE CASE WITH THE MAJORITY OF OVERSEAS Spouses/Fiancee's.. No its not.

To the Replies that agreed to the Prenup. You should have never Married. But, I be willing to bet that over half of you that agreed to this post never asked for a Prenup.

Thats my thought

[VanessaTony 3,567]

he was never in love with her... she was hot and that is the only reason he married her

I'm sorry. Did I miss where he posted that he never loved her? You're making assumptions. He may have married her because she was hot AND she was a great person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Many people on here post their S/O's are hot and show pics. I rarely agree with them. He could just be bitter and venting. Could be he fell in love with her and excused her behaviour or red flags because he thought she was hot.

[Touch of Treble 39]

Well, it has been good food for thought to read through this thread. My Fiance and I discussed prenups not long after we became spouses in training and we decided NO we would not have one. It suits our style, experiences and personalities. We are both trusting people by nature and trust that we will both put our heart and soul into the marriage.

Now all I need is the NOA2!!!!

[vacrimefighter 10]

At one point in my life, I was dating at doctor who came from a wealthy family. We were discussing marriage at one point and I BROUGHT UP PRENUPS to her. I wanted her to know and her family, I loved her, not what they had $$$. SO I HAVE NO ISSUE SIGNING a PRENUP, when the shoe is on the other foot.

[vacrimefighter 10]

Can respect your thoughts, but I do not agree with you. I can not speak for everyone on why they would want a PRENUP, but for me it has nothing to do with her being a overseas bride. I have been through one divorce in my life. Was married 15 years and divorced for over 10 years. The "COURTS" are not always fair with your life. By having a prenup "Estate Planning" and Will you take control of your life, not the courts.

I LOVE MY FUTURE MY FUTURE WIFE, she will be taken care of in my WILL, but if our relationship does not work, the PRENUPS will protect my assets for me, and my grown children.

Well, I don't like the idea of a Prenup Agreement. I'll tell you why.

First of all, 99% of all those that agree are Americans or the Petitioners. OH YES, I Want To Marry Her Alright. But ? What if she finds out I'm really a Jerk later? Will she own half of me ? Petitioners, IF YOUR SO SMART. You want that Woman but you have DOUBTS. That makes you an IDIOT to Get Married.

So, what you do is talk her into a binding relationship with a Prenup Clause which tells her she is stranded and will leave with the same clothes she came with. BEFORE THE MARRIDGE. Screw You is what I would Say.

I Have seen so many positions of beneficiaries reporting abuse/forced sex etc. And the Petitioner has a Prenup. .

To members I seen post: I been threw the Ropes and will never do it again. Well, don't get Married.

Fact of the matter is: Know your Spouse. Not your second brain.

A Prenup is basically a legal option to split and keeps your assets. TELL ME, IS THIS THE CASE WITH THE MAJORITY OF OVERSEAS Spouses/Fiancee's.. No its not.

To the Replies that agreed to the Prenup. You should have never Married. But, I be willing to bet that over half of you that agreed to this post never asked for a Prenup.

Thats my thought

[vacrimefighter 10]

IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN SCREWED OVER in A DIVORCE and the COURTS "TELL YOU" how things should be done because you did not have any PRENUPS in place. YOU would understand the importance of protecting your assets. I HAVE NO PROBLEM SHARING FUTURE GAINS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS with my Bride to be. BUT she is not entitled as someone divorcing me to my past assets.

I found my future wife "WORKING" in Dubai and we dated for over a year. She knew my concerns about marriage and protecting my assets. "WHAT EVERONE" says, I love you, not your money or things. We wrote up our prenups prior to applying for her VISA. As written in the 1st writings of the PRENUPS, I gave her money to seek professional translation and for legal interpreting services. 6 months ago, we both signed the PRENUPS.

Once she arrives in the USA, I will once again give her money to seek professional translation and for legal interpreting services of the PRENUP. "SECOND SIGNING" We will both sign and notarize the document 60 days prior to getting married.

Each party acknowledges that they have examined the prenuptial agreement and fully understand our rights and consider the terms of this agreement to be fair and reasonable before signing it. Each party will have 30 additional days to review this agreement with an independent attorney paid for by “ME” All revisions with be reviewed and approved with the third and final signing.

THE FINAL SIGNING...Each party acknowledges that he or she has entered into this agreement in good faith and had an adequate opportunity to read and study this Agreement, to consider it, to consult with an independent attorney paid for by “ME” if he or she has so desired, without any form of coercion, duress or pressure.

[Roe 3]

Marriage is Grand. Divorce is Fifty Grand.

http://moneyning.com/money-management/the-pros-and-cons-of-getting-a-prenup/

http://www.oprah.com/money/Prenup-Yup

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the blockbuster tome Eat Pray Love, recently made the case in her new best seller, Committed, for why she and her husband got a prenup.

"Marriage is not just a private love story but also a social and economical contract of the strictest order," she says. "If it weren't, there wouldn't be thousands of municipal, state and federal laws pertaining to our matrimonial union."

More than one-third of adults — 36% — said prenups make smart financial sense, according to the Harris survey. When Harris asked that same question in 2002, 28% said so.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

I agree DIFFERENT world and different cultures. DIFFERENT VALUES, that is what I fell in love with my current bride to be. Some People in the USA has lost their morle compass "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."... BUT YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF WHATS MINE!!!

think that ending is more appropriate for you

[sachinky 465]

Many people on here post their S/O's are hot and show pics. ]

Oh yeah, I love the "my-trophy-wife is SO much hotter than all your immigrant spouses. Suck on that."

And I am like, uh, no.

[sachinky 465]

To be honest, I wouldn't be using examples of VJ cases as an arguments for getting 'a pre-nup because you are going to get screwed by the foreign beneficiary.'

I would postulate that they are better reminders of why we should not be getting married in the first place to people we barely know or have had minimal face-to-face time with, have language barriers or have no idea how the other person functions on a day-to-day basis, how they deal with financial issues. I am sorry but one visit and a few months of Skype does not make for a strong foundation for marriage. Talk is easy, talk is cheap -- it's easy to say the right things, easy to espouse ideals of family values and morality that has the USC petitioner falling hook, line and sinker for the right lines.

[One of my co-workers was talking to (who she thought) was a US soldier stationed in Iraq getting ready to come home. He professed his love for her after two months of IMing, sent her flowers and candy for her birthday. She told everyone who was willing to listen how 'in love' she was and how this one is THE ONE for her and how she's never felt this in her entire life. Turns out he was a Ghanaian with a fake American accent wanting $5000 for some family emergency.]

Regarding the topic: no it was never an issue for Mr. Sachinky and I. We both married pretty young, when we had nothing to our names. Not that we really do now, either. But I can see why it would need a realistic look from those with significant assets to protect or those with grown children from a prior marriage. If you've been taken to the cleaners from your first wife, then I guess it would be naive to think that your second wife could/would never do that to you. I certainly wouldn't judge someone for doing what they thought was better for their future.