Fiancee left me after 3 weeks

[TBoneTX 45,608]

If this were me, I'd be on the phone right now with every one of my credit-card issuers (they have 24-hour lines for "lost or stolen cards" via which you can talk to a human being). Explain the situation; tell them not to authorize ANY out-of-town or out-of-pattern (meaning your usual purchasing pattern) charges, and certainly no cash advances. No card-issuer is to process any change of address for any account unless they speak with you personally. Start with the Visa, MasterCard, AmEx, & Discover, and proceed through the gasoline-company cards. It's NOT necessary to cancel every card that you have; just put fraud alerts on your accounts.

My next call would be to ICE. Even though her I-94 (not "visa," as was stated above in an otherwise excellent post) won't expire for 90 days since her POE, you want to start a file NOW so that ICE and USCIS can be aware. If the ICE agent with whom you speak is reluctant to start a file now because the 90 days isn't up, politely ask for a supervisor -- and persist until you're connected to one. Your goal is to have this entered into the system even if no action can be taken yet. Get a case-file number and the names and locations of each ICE agent with whom you speak. When you call, have her A# ready, and her Colombian passport number if you can find it.

On Saturday morning, expend any price to have a locksmith rekey ALL of your locks as top priority. If she had a mailbox key or the chance to copy yours, consider having your mail held at the Post Office for you to pick up, for a while at least. This would keep your credit-card statements and bank statements safe from outside hands.

Follow all of the advice from others. At all costs, do NOT (do NOT! do NOT!) allow yourself to be sweet-talked or suckered.

Before I met Mrs. T-B., I was nearly suckered by a very clever Colombiana. Wiser friends told me that although there are many sincere Colombianas, there's also an incredible amount of fraud, at a very sophisticated level of operation. I'm glad that I listened to the warnings.

As shocking and painful as this is, you've gotten off very cheaply (in comparison to worst-case) and unharmed so far, presuming that you act per above. Thank your lucky stars for that, si man.

When you've healed from this, I can get you fixed up with 100% sincere Ecuatorianas who would never sucker you like this, no man.

Keep the faith, si man.

[jac_chappin 24]

Op -- I'm really sorry this happened to. As other have said, it's better now than after you marry. Please follow suggestions given by other. Hang in there. I know you'll be ok in th end.

[forever waiting 11]

Excellent advice AZ,

I know no matter what we all suggest we can't take away the hurt but this too shall pass.

Just dont get lost within yourself while you're going thru the steps.

Everything happens for a reason and there is someone special out there, you just haven't found one another.

[InHisTime 110]

Wow ! this is heartbreaking ! so sad for you Good riddance to her! Please stand firm and be strong ! She is not for you-- heartless, user woman -- don't you worry, you will be fine ! God knows best for you. God loves you. Just thank God it happened NOW than later.

Quickly follow the appropriate and best advices shared by our members. God is brewing so much greater things for you. Have FAITH in God -- I'm sure, things happened for a good reason. God bless and heal your broken heart. I'll keep you in my prayers!

[Answerseeker 77 2]

I am so sorry that this happened to you Sir. But there is a saying, " What does not kill you makes you stronger". I bet it hurts, and painful but for the time being you need to protect yourself, financially and legally. Acting sooner the better. Play save dude....... If she comes back make sure you have some witness with you.

[Leatherneck 693]

If this were me, I'd be on the phone right now with every one of my credit-card issuers (they have 24-hour lines for "lost or stolen cards" via which you can talk to a human being). Explain the situation; tell them not to authorize ANY out-of-town or out-of-pattern (meaning your usual purchasing pattern) charges, and certainly no cash advances. No card-issuer is to process any change of address for any account unless they speak with you personally. Start with the Visa, MasterCard, AmEx, & Discover, and proceed through the gasoline-company cards. It's NOT necessary to cancel every card that you have; just put fraud alerts on your accounts.

My next call would be to ICE. Even though her I-94 (not "visa," as was stated above in an otherwise excellent post) won't expire for 90 days since her POE, you want to start a file NOW so that ICE and USCIS can be aware. If the ICE agent with whom you speak is reluctant to start a file now because the 90 days isn't up, politely ask for a supervisor -- and persist until you're connected to one. Your goal is to have this entered into the system even if no action can be taken yet. Get a case-file number and the names and locations of each ICE agent with whom you speak. When you call, have her A# ready, and her Colombian passport number if you can find it.

On Saturday morning, expend any price to have a locksmith rekey ALL of your locks as top priority. If she had a mailbox key or the chance to copy yours, consider having your mail held at the Post Office for you to pick up, for a while at least. This would keep your credit-card statements and bank statements safe from outside hands.

Follow all of the advice from others. At all costs, do NOT (do NOT! do NOT!) allow yourself to be sweet-talked or suckered.

Before I met Mrs. T-B., I was nearly suckered by a very clever Colombiana. Wiser friends told me that although there are many sincere Colombianas, there's also an incredible amount of fraud, at a very sophisticated level of operation. I'm glad that I listened to the warnings.

As shocking and painful as this is, you've gotten off very cheaply (in comparison to worst-case) and unharmed so far, presuming that you act per above. Thank your lucky stars for that, si man.

When you've healed from this, I can get you fixed up with 100% sincere Ecuatorianas who would never sucker you like this, no man.

Keep the faith, si man.

Well said, and certainly the point I was making.

[Frank and Racquel 18]

do what i said, make the call and send the letter and good riddence to her. Just be glad you didn't marry her. Eventually she will get caught and get kicked out.

[Enigma11561 336]

VeniyaAO

You wrote this some time again. Same woman?

""I would like some advice. I meet my fiancee on a 2 week trip to eastern europe about 3 months ago. We had a great two weeks together. I proposed, she accepted. I spent weeks completing the I-129f application and sent it in a about a month ago.

I am not sure what has happened with my fiancee? I have treated her like a princess but she seems to have completely lost interest in us getting married and even pursueing the relationship. With each passing week she contacts me less, avoids my phone calls, shows no feelings, and said she just got caught up in the romance at the start and she does not feel like she can come here now and she likes her country. She told me a week ago we should postpone the visa application. I told her that I do not think that is possible. And with the way she is acting it seems the relationship is already over. I feel now I am in a one sided relationship.""

It was an indicator of things to come. I feel bad that this happened but honestly, not surprised. Please take the good advice here and protect yourself.

[Jamaican Luv 13]

wow!!! this is a crazy story!! i am so sorry that this happened to u!! i hope u do what everybody is telling u to do..sounds like a good plan to me..and if she even trys to come back...do not talk to her etc! soo not right what she has done to u. messing with ppls feelings is a wrongfull thing to do exp. after u spent so much money and time doing this! uuugh females sometimes kill me. smdh! i hope u get everything worked out.

[GringoD 33]

Yessiree... Veni, take the advice of leatherneck and AZ whole heartedly.

Sorry to hear your story.

I'll throw this in, as well... since she's latina, because there are how many millions of illegal latinas in the USA now...

The first lady (not young girl, either) that I filed I-129F for, a latina de Colombia, and we had a few pointed differences pop up within the home after a few weeks. She and two sons were going to english class at the tech school, and there were LOTS OF ILLEGALES in the classes and the bad thing about that was ... the influence of the illegals on the legal aliens.

A legal alien should have a completely different mindset than that of an illegal.

(Just my conservative, narrow-minded perspective)

But, because they had in common that they were latinas, I found the legals being adversely influenced by the illegals.

Illegales are, in my mind, criminal, the moment they cross the border.

And, they will commit many other illegal acts, to exploit the system in any way they can.

And, as leatherneck and AZ are warning you,... and, I know,... the illegals will 'school' her, possibly, about how to go about getting you to make one small abusive move against her, so then she is in control and you are up the freekin creek without a paddle.

PROTECT YOUR SELF.

_________________

My lady was good enough and smart enough person, even though we had some issues/differences, she didn't completely fall for the counsel of the illegals. She knew what the possible consequences could be for her. But, still... I know she was mingling with them as such. But, I know she was 'under their influence'

[GringoD 33]

.

Edited December 10, 2011 by GringoD

[GringoD 33]

Hey Veni....

'notha true story, bout a friend of mine.... his "very young" colombianita, after a year, he found online, some guy had talked her into doing some porn stuff. not trying to make you feel bad. Just tryin to open your eyes. He had to be VERY CAREFUL.. so as not to get in the trap that leatherneck and AZ talk about.

I'm guessin your colombian chiquita is very young.

Yet a 3rd friend, who was married for about a year to 'young' colombiana, she bolts! for another life, divorce, etc.

THEY ALL, SO FAR, COME RUNNING BACK TO GET IN YOUR GOOD GRACES AND TELL YOU HOW THEY FOQ'D UP, AND that they want back in your fold.

Well.. if you allow yourself to be used like that even further, then.... you deserve whatever you get.

Just trying to help you grow a set fast, cause you gonna need em.

Edited December 10, 2011 by GringoD

[clarence954 20]

wow! sorry to hear/read, like someone stated earlier you got off easy because it could have been much worst. she could have dragged it out until she got her green card and have you on the" hook" financially for a very long time.

don't be a fool and give in if she returns I know it hurts really bad, but it will heal with time.

good luck

Edited December 10, 2011 by clarence954

[Mark and Rassel 9]

Call each of the Credit Reporting Services and put a 'lock' or 'hold' on your Credit Report. I believe that you can request and they must do this for a minimum of 90 days at a time. Each state has different laws on this - make sure you do this!

Very sorry it didn't turn out . . . love IS blind!

Mark & Rassel!

[issha2lynden 77]

VeniyaAO

You wrote this some time again. Same woman?

""I would like some advice. I meet my fiancee on a 2 week trip to eastern europe about 3 months ago. We had a great two weeks together. I proposed, she accepted. I spent weeks completing the I-129f application and sent it in a about a month ago.

I am not sure what has happened with my fiancee? I have treated her like a princess but she seems to have completely lost interest in us getting married and even pursueing the relationship. With each passing week she contacts me less, avoids my phone calls, shows no feelings, and said she just got caught up in the romance at the start and she does not feel like she can come here now and she likes her country. She told me a week ago we should postpone the visa application. I told her that I do not think that is possible. And with the way she is acting it seems the relationship is already over. I feel now I am in a one sided relationship.""

It was an indicator of things to come. I feel bad that this happened but honestly, not surprised. Please take the good advice here and protect yourself.

I see! hmmm I wanna